


In My Dreams We Are Always Together

by andsowemeetagain



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: A mix of canon and AU, Arranged Marriage, Bellarke, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, King!Bellamy - Freeform, Multi, Skygirl!Clarke, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 21:46:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 118,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8344015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andsowemeetagain/pseuds/andsowemeetagain
Summary: 100 delinquents got sent to Earth and battled for survival against the odds. They landed in Trikru territory but that is not where they stayed. After weeks of battle and war, the Sky People finally lost. They were sent to a land far away, where a group of Grounders unlike any they've met waited for them. *This is a terrible summary...I don't know how to describe this story. It's a mix of canon and AU. But if you like arranged marriage and enemies->friends->lovers and friendship and love and fluff and angst, then this is the fic for you.





	1. Chapter 1

She had faced death quite a few times in her 18 years.  
  
The first time was on the Ark, after her father had been floated for the truth he planned to reveal to the people. She'd been confined in the Skybox for a little less than a year and when the guards and her mother had shown up, one day out of the blue, she had thought the time for her own execution had come. Despite the fact that she knew she hadn't turned 18, the age of eligibility.  
  
But instead she was sent to the ground, along with 99 other inmates.  
  
The journey there was the second time she had faced death.  
  
Upon arrival, and survival, she'd faced it so many times she stopped counting. _Just another day on the ground_ , she'd think after surviving when she thought she'd be dead.  
  
The grounders were ruthless where they landed. At first, they picked them off one by one. Until one day, 300 warriors surrounded the Dropship and burned in a ring of fire.  
  
Clarke wasn't an idiot; she knew she was the leader of their small group.  
  
For some reason, they had accepted her without much of a challenge. They looked to her. Waited until her word to act.

Of course, she wasn't alone in her reign. She'd had a small group of people who acted as something of a council. Finn, Jasper, Miller, Monty, and eventually, Raven; when she'd come to the ground in a pod she'd resurrected on the Ark. But Clarke was the decision maker, the ultimate voice of authority.

So they burned the grounders, and even though they knew it was far from over, they weren't expecting to be surrounded by another 400 the next morning.  
  
The site of them surrounding the Dropship, weapons raised, made Clarke's knees buckle. She dropped to the ground, knowing they they were out of options. They'd burned through their rocket fuel, they had no weapons, no way out.  
  
They'd lost a little less than half of their people. 58 of them remained. 58 of them dropped to their knees, alongside their leader, accepting what she had finally accepted: it was over.  
  
The grounders didn't attack, they too knew the battle was over. The Sky People were surrounded and they were surrendering.  
  
Since she'd landed, she'd fought tooth and nail for every life. Every chance. Every shred of hope. But that morning, she'd finally had to accept the fact that it was over. Her people would be slaughtered alongside her; she could only hope for a quick death. A spear to the heart. A knife to the neck.  
  
No one made a move to escape, to run. Not even the youngest of them.  
  
But the grounders didn't attack. They stood there, watching. Waiting. For what, Clarke wasn't sure.

Until the crowd at their gates parted and a woman walked through.

Despite the fact that Clarke had accepted her death, and a small part of her had secretly craved it, terror swam in her veins. It clogged her arteries. Knocked the breath from her lungs. And for a second, she thought she'd die from it.  
  
But no such luck.  
  
"You are Clarke?" she asked. Her face had a feline look to it, in the scariest way possible.  
  
Clarke nodded.  
  
"I am Anya, something of a leader in these parts" she said. "You are the leader of the Sky People?"  
  
Again, Clarke nodded. She considered standing up, offering her hand in greeting. But the blood in her body had turned to lead, weighing her down.  
  
Anya nodded in acknowledgment.  
  
Clarke figured the army surrounding them were waiting for a signal to begin the slaughter, but Anya gave none. After her brief conversation with Clarke, she walked away. She walked back through the parted crowd and didn't look back.  
  
For two days, they stayed in their position around the Dropship. For two days, no sky person was allowed to get up. Or do anything, for that matter.  
  
A few brave souls risked speaking; asking the grounders if they could move, if they could get some water or food, but there was no answer.  
  
Not one person risked getting up though, not even Clarke. She knew they were at the mercy of the grounders.  
  
Clarke was tired. She was thirsty. She was hungry. And the stench alone made her feel as if she was on her death bed. The reek of the dead grounders bodies mixed with the vomit from a few of the Sky People and the filth of the few who had soiled themselves in terror was strong enough to make her eyes burn and trigger her gag reflex.  
  
On the third morning, Anya returned.  
  
By that point, Clarke felt as if she had nothing to lose. They were going to die anyway, so with that in mind, she spoke up as soon as the woman was close enough to hear her.  
  
"What are you waiting for? If you're going to kill us, just get it over with" she said. A few people looked at her like she was crazy, and maybe by that point she was. She felt like it.  
  
"I was waiting to hear back from the Commander" Anya said.  
  
Clarke's next question died in her throat. She couldn't speak. Apparently, no one else could either. They all knew what had happened. Anya was back because she had heard back from the Commander. The Commander's orders were about to be executed.  
  
"W-what will you do with us?" Clarke finally asked. _If they're going to kill us, then they should just get it over with._  
  
"The Commander has made an alliance with a king far from our lands. You are part of that... deal, for lack of a better word" she says. 

Relief washed over Clarke; over the remaining Sky People. But before Clarke could even let herself feel a shred of hope, she noticed Anya and a few other Grounders smirking. A few even began to laugh.  
  
"Do not look so relieved, Clarke kom Skikru" Anya says, narrowing her eyes "For where you are going is much worse than where you have been."  
  
Clarke felt her stomach drop. The rest of her people murmured in confusion.  
  
"You and your people are going to wish that we had killed you, here and now. That we had taken pity, or mercy, or even vengeance out on Skikru. You and the remainder of your people are being taken to the Badlands" Anya says before turning to her army of grounders and speaking in their foreign tongue.  
  
Eventually, more than half of the army leaves. Those who remain go around and yank the 58 surviving Sky People up, tying their hands with some sort of material. Their wrists are bound and interlaced with the others, forming two groups.  
  
They walk in two long rows, and make their way from the Dropship into the woods.

* * *

 

The first couple of weeks aren't so bad.  
  
Despite the fact that most of them had accepted their fates, a few people talk of escape.  
  
Clarke, at the head of one of the rows, doesn't even humor the idea. A part of her hates herself a little, for giving up. For giving in.  
  
The other part doesn't care.  
  
_There's nothing for us to do_ she'd whisper back whenever another idea made it's way up the human line to her ears.  
  
And there wasn't.  
  
They were bound by their wrists. They had no weapons. The grounders walked in front of them, behind them, and to their sides.  
  
They were cattle, headed to the slaughter house.  
  
And maybe despite all that, they could have tried something. The could have tried to escape. But the worst part was that they were all exhausted.  
  
The grounders were used to this much activity. They navigated the terrain easily. They hiked up the mountains without having to stop.

But the Sky People weren't used to this much physical exertion. That, combined with the small amount of food and water they had received on a daily basis wore them down. Even the strongest among them.  
  
The first time one of them complained, planted their feet and refused to walk any further, they got a whip across the face so hard that it was a full week before anyone else had the courage to speak up again.  
  
Sometimes they'd stop at the outskirts of a grounder village. Half of their guards stayed while the other half went into the village and came back with food and water. Sometimes they'd have other things, like a new coat or a pair of boots. But those never went to any of the Sky People.  
  
They'd sleep outside, no matter the weather. Some nights were even peaceful. But that peace would be washed away at day break, when they started walking again.  
  
Once they reached what Anya had referred to as the Dead Zone, things took a turn for the worse.  
  
Their rations, which were barely enough to live on as it is, were cut in half.  
  
They lost their first person three days into their trek into the Dead Zone. Fluid volume deficit.  
  
Heat stroke claimed the second, and the third.

At first, Clarke begged and pleaded for water, for rest, for anything, really. But once she realized that only got her a whip across the back or worse, the front, she stopped begging. In fact, she stopped talking all together.  
  
A part of her longed for the night she'd fall asleep, and stay that way.  
  
But no such luck.  
  
When they finally reached the end of the Dead Zone, almost a full three weeks later, they'd lost another six.  
  
49 left.  
  
After the Dead Zone, they were in the woods once again. Clarke (along with a few others) almost cried tears of joy. She never thought she'd miss the woods, the trees. But when her eyes landed on a forest for the first time in almost a month, she felt a flicker of happiness.  
  
Even if death awaited them at the end of this journey, at least they were out of the Dead Zone.  
  
Things got slightly better. Now that they were in the forest again, their food rations increased. They had fresh water. The tree's shaded them from the relentless heat of the sun.

Clarke hoped, prayed they were almost there, wherever _there_ was.  
  
The 49 of them that had survived were only shells of their former selves. Even her.  
  
Where her commands used to ring strong and true, they were now nonexistent. Where she'd once felt brave, even amidst fear, she now felt hollow. Her ache for those who died and were dying turned to ache for those who had survived.  
  
Raven's fire dwindled, now replaced by ice. Miller's defiant glare was replaced by a distant, cold look in his eyes. Jasper's curiosity with the Earth ceased to exist. Monty stopped talking after they'd lost Monroe to heat stroke, weeks ago. Finn no longer talked of peace, of reason.  
  
They were filthy, covered in sweat and tears and blood and dirt. Their skin sagged, their bones became more and more prominent with each passing day. They walked with their shoulders hunched, their heads bowed. Hopelessness had engulfed them. They no longer feared the grounders or whatever it was they were going to face when the time came.  
  
Some of the grounders took pity on them, tried to make conversation, offered another handful of nuts or berries, but for the most part they were ignored. And if they weren't being ignored, they were being reprimanded for one thing or another.  
  
They'd heard the stories. Some overheard by the grounders who spoke in English, some told during the night. Probably to plant fear in their minds. But they were past that, now. 

The people they were being taken to weren't part of the thirteen clans that made up the coalition of the Commander. These were outsiders. A former commander had banished them from these lands, long ago.  
  
Under some sort of treaty, they'd stayed away from the Commander's lands and the coalition. Under some sort of treaty, they lived beyond these lands under their own rule and in their own clan.  
  
The first few weeks, Clarke had wondered. She'd feared. If where they were going was worse than where they were, she was sure they wouldn't last long. They'd barely survived their war with Trikru, how was it possible that the place they were headed to was worse?  
  
After days and nights of wonder, of fear, she'd given up. She didn't care. There was nothing they could do. They'd left the Dropship, and even if the rest of the people on the Ark had somehow survived and came down, there was no way they'd ever be able to reach them in time to help. There was no way they could find them, at all.  
  
She had to come to terms with the fact that the 49 survivors with her were likely the only people from the Ark that she'd ever see again.  
  
That realization pushed her over the edge. She cried for days, for nights. The tears dried up eventually, and the hopelessness she felt in her bones combined with the dehydration in her cells prevented her from shedding another tear.  
  
Eventually, they reached their destination. 

Clarke, being at the front of the line, ran right into Anya who had stopped at the edge of the forest. Clarke got up and looked past Anya and the grounders with her.  
  
She couldn't believe her eyes.  
  
They had reached a large body of water. It went on and on as far as she could see. Clarke and the others were so busy looking at the horizon that at first they didn't noticed the small group of people on their left.  
  
Someone in their own group pointed them out, and everyone else turned to look, finally noticing them.  
  
The group who had been waiting there had started to make their way towards them, slowly. Behind them, Clarke saw a ship. An actual ship.  
  
The little part of her that was still curious studied it. It was pretty big, and it looked exactly like the ships she'd seen in one of her old history textbooks.  
  
There were only five people in the group that came to meet them, but Clarke was sure that there were more on the ship. A part of her actually felt relieved. No matter where they were going, at least they wouldn't have to walk there.

"What the hell took you so long? You were supposed to be here a week ago!" a girl from the new group hissed. Clarke felt taken aback. The girl couldn't have been any older than she was. In fact, she looked even younger than Clarke. But she spoke in clear, perfect English with a tone of authority in her voice.  
  
"Well, as you can see, this group isn't in the best shape. They slowed us down" Anya said, her voice a little weary.  
  
The group was close enough to study, now. They didn't look that different from the Trikru grounders around them. However, these new grounders looked....more put together. Their clothes were nicer, made of leather and fur and animal skin. They each had knives in their belts, swords across their backs.  
  
"What the hell is this?" the girl exclaimed, studying Clarke and her friends. "We had been told they were warriors from the sky, but these people are no better than sickly slaves?"  
  
"Well, the journey here was tough for them" Anya said, a little angrily.  
  
"And these are the people who have been causing the Commander so much trouble? The people who have killed so many of the Trikru?" the girl exclaimed, laughing.  
  
"They possessed weapons which we had no knowledge of! Bombs and missiles!" Anya yelled, very angry now. "They burned an entire village to the ground, as well as 300 of my warriors in an explosion!"  
  
But the girl continued laughing, and a few of her companions joined her.

Anya place a hand on the sword she carried on her back.  
  
"Our job is done. They were delivered, as promised. They are your problem now" she hissed.  
  
"We were expecting more. We were told there would be a hundred? There can't be more than fifty here" the girl said, still studying the Sky People.  
  
"Well, a few of them died of natural causes" Anya said, her voice cool now.  
  
"And the rest? Unnatural causes?" the girl asked.  
  
Anya just smiled.  
  
Clarke felt like using the little energy she had left to kick her. She could, she was close enough. But she knew it'd probably hurt her more than it hurt Anya.  
  
"Well, I don't really know what to say. I mean, just look at them" the girl said, looking to her group and back at the Sky People. "Even our youngest warriors could kill them."  
  
Clarke kept her mouth shut.  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for? Untie them" the girl said, looking at Anya and the grounders. "Unless you're afraid they'll beat you again?" she said, smirking.  
  
Slowly, the grounders went around and untied them. 

_Who is this girl?_ Clarke wondered. _How is she brave enough to talk to Anya that way?_  
  
After she was untied, Clarke rubbed her wrists. She was sure that she'd have scars. She was grateful that the cuts made by the restraints didn't get infected. Scarring, she could deal with.  
  
"Let's go" the girl said, nodding towards the ship.  
  
A few of the Sky People looked at Clarke, waiting for her to make the first move.  
  
"You're the leader?" the girl asked, looking at Clarke.  
  
Clarke nodded.  
  
"Well, after you" the girl said, smirking at Clarke.  
  
_Oh god.  
_  
"You're not coming with us?" Clarke asked, looking at Anya.  
  
Anya let out a bitter laugh. "Only those who have to go, go to the Badlands. None of us would go there by choice, you foolish girl" Anya said.  
  
Clarke figured she would never see Anya again. That gave her enough courage to speak.  
  
"Go to hell" Clarke said "And burn there, like the rest of those grounders did" she finished, spitting at Anya's feet.

A few people looked at her in shock, a few grounders yelled angrily in their language while Anya only smiled at Clarke.  
  
"Believe me, Clarke kom Skikru...you're going to wish you were there with me" Anya said.  
  
Clarke glared at her for a few more seconds before taking a few steps in the direction of the ship. As soon as she did, the others followed.  
  
The people who had been waiting for them walked behind them.  
  
When they got to the boat, a few rope ladders were thrown over the sides, and the Sky People slowly made their way up.  
  
Some barely had enough strength to make it to the top. But the group who had come for them were waiting for them above, and watching them from below.  
  
Once they were all on the deck, they clustered in a corner while the grounders prepared the sails, and before they knew it, they were off.  
  
A few people sat down, but Clarke remained standing.  
  
Raven and Finn joined her at the front of the group.  
  
"What is your name?" the girl from before asked, walking up to the three of them.  
  
"Clarke" Clarke said.  
  
The girl nodded. "And these two?"

"This is Raven and this is Finn" Clarke added, nodding to the two of them, one at each side.  
  
"My name is Octavia" the girl said. "For the time being, you will be taking your orders from me" she looked behind Clarke, to the rest of the group, raising her voice "Do not question my command, and do not do anything stupid. Do as you are told. We will be traveling for less than two days" she said before turning back to Clarke. "Since you are their leader, I can assume they will listen to you. And you will listen to me. Do as you are told, and we won't have any problems. I won't have to throw anyone overboard, got that?" the girl asked.  
  
Clarke nodded.  
  
"Take your people down the steps at the other end of the ship. You will find food and water there. Eat. Rest up. I will be in my chambers, I'll send for you in a little while" Octavia said.  
  
She walked away and Clarke was left a little dumbfounded. She wasn't sure what she expected, but it definitely wasn't this. She didn't expect to be given food and water. To be told to rest. But she didn't question it.  
  
She turned to the group and ushered them towards the stairs that Octavia described. They made their way down, and found two long tables lined with bread, water and fish.  
  
At the site of the food and the water, all 49 of them sat down on the barrels surrounding the tables and ate in silence until they were full for the first time in months.  
  
Clarke kept looking at the stairs. Eventually Raven noticed.

"What the hell is going on? Why...why aren't they shackling us to the wall or something? Beating us?" she asked.  
  
"I don't know" Clarke answered. She expected them to do just that, perhaps even worse, but no one came down the stairs.  
  
"What should we do?" Finn asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Jasper said.  
  
"Well, I mean they must be feeding us for a reason? I doubt they're doing it out of hospitality. Probably just preparing us for slaughter. What if this is our chance to get away?"  
  
"Get away? How?" Harper asked.  
  
They were all talking in hushed voices, afraid that someone would hear.  
  
"I mean...we could jump and go back to the land" Finn said. "From what the other grounders have said, I don't think any of us will like the place we're headed to any more than back there."  
  
"Have you forgotten the fact that none of us can swim?" Miller asked.  
  
"Okay...so how about we try to overthrow them? Take the boat and sail back?" Finn asked, looking at Clarke.  
  
"And where the hell did you learn to sail?" Miller shot back.  
  
"Well do you have a better idea?" Finn asked, moved to anger.

"Yeah, I do. We shut the hell up. And we eat" Miller said, just as angry.  
  
"Clarke?" Finn said, looking at her again.  
  
"Miller's right. There isn't anything we can do. There's no way we can overpower them, I mean, just look at us" she finally said.  
  
"So we just give up?" Finn asked, incredulously.  
  
"Yeah, Finn. We give up" Clarke said.  
  
They sat in silence after that.  
  
About half of the group got up from the table, and settled down on the floor to sleep. They were all exhausted. Clarke was too, but she knew Octavia would send for her so she stayed awake.  
  
After about an hour, almost everyone was asleep.  
  
Clarke looked around. This was probably the first time in almost two months that any of them slept peacefully. Their bellies were full. They were sheltered from the light rain that had started to fall. When would they get another night like this? She thought about it.

She wasn't sure they would. If the Badlands were awful enough for even the other grounders to be weary of, what would happen to them once they arrived? She didn't want to know.  
  
Eventually, a young boy no older than 15 came down the stairs and asked for Clarke.  
She followed him up the stairs and across the ship. They went down another set of stairs and came to a hallway. There were a few doors on each side, but he led Clarke to the one at the end of the hall.  
  
She knocked and a few moments later, Octavia opened the door.  
  
Clarke walked in and looked around. _These must be her private quarters,_ she thought. She couldn't believe her eyes...they looked so...normal. The room was tiny, but there was an actual bed in the corner, and a shelf lined with books and a few random items across from it. On the other side, Octavia sat in a chair, at a desk. A desk!  
  
"Have a seat, Clarke" she said.  
  
Clarke looked around. There wasn't anywhere to sit, besides the floor or the bed. Since she was filthier than she'd ever been in her life, she chose the floor.  
  
"Tell me about you, your people" Octavia said. She didn't phrase it like a question. It was a command.

"What do you want to know?" she asked.  
  
"Why you came, what has happened since you've gotten here" she said. She wasn't looking at Clarke, she seemed preoccupied with the piece of paper she held in her hand.  
  
"Didn't Anya already tell you? Or the Commander?" Clarke asked.  
  
Octavia finally turned to look at her.  
  
"I have heard a lot of things, Clarke. You should be glad that I am willing to hear your side of the story, and not just choosing to believe in the things I have heard about you savages from the sky."  
  
_Savages? She actually has the nerve to call us savages?_ That made Clarke a little angry. But she knew to hold her tongue.  
  
So she told Octavia their story. About the Ark dying, about coming to the ground and not knowing that it was habitable. About what had happened with Trikru. She knew it was best not to lie, so she didn't omit the part about the bomb they placed on the bridge. She didn't omit the part about burning 300 grounders in a ring of fire, either.  
  
Octavia studied the map in her hand the entire time.  
  
After she was finished, Clarke waited for Octavia to say something. But she didn't.

"Are-are you the commander?" Clarke asked. She knew it was a risk. Even though Octavia looked younger, she was lean and muscular. _She could probably kill me on this very floor._  
  
"No, I'm not. I'm something like the king's second in command. Mostly I deal with outside affairs and our army" she said, her tone serious.  
  
"What-what will you do with us?" Clarke asked. She knew she shouldn't. It wasn't like she expected Octavia to actually tell her they were going to be killed, or made into servants or something of that nature.  
  
"That's not up to me, Clarke" Octavia said, looking at her.  
  
"But you must have an idea?" Clarke pushed.  
  
"I do" Octavia said.  
  
Clarke waited, afraid to push any further. She didn't get an answer.  
  
"Go to your people, Clarke. Sleep. Eat. You look sick. How did you let your people get to such a state?" Octavia said.  
  
Clarke got angry. She knew she looked like shit. She knew they all looked like they were on the brink of death. But Octavia's comment about her and her leadership fueled a fire in Clarke.  
  
"Well, if you'd been through what we've been through since we landed, you might understand why we look like this" she said.

Octavia raised an eyebrow, probably a little shocked at Clarke's tone.  
  
"You're dismissed, Clarke of the Sky People" Octavia said.  
  
Clarke got up to leave. Her hand was on the doorknob  when Octavia spoke up again.  
  
"And Clarke? Watch your tone. I may be a little forgiving, since this is our first conversation...but not everyone will be as considerate as I am. Keep that in mind" she said.  
  
Clarke didn't say anything. She paused long enough to consider Octavia's warning before leaving the room. She found the boy from before waiting for her in the hallway. He walked her back to her people, and Clarke made her way to a spot on the floor that was unoccupied.  
  
She was more tired than she'd ever been in her entire life. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. But just before she went under, she noticed the boy from earlier standing at the edge of the stairs. It was clear that they wouldn't be leaving this room by their own choice.

* * *

 

Clarke woke to the sound of her friends talking. She got up and looked around. For a second, she was confused. And then she remembered where she was and how she'd gotten there.  
  
She joined her friends at the table. Again, it was full of water, bread, and fish. Clarke ate fast enough to give herself a stomach ache. And by the looks of the people around her, so did they.  
  
Their stomachs must have shrunken tremendously, because by the time they were all finished, a lot of food still remained on the table.  
  
The sat around and talked in hushed tones. Finn brought up trying to escape again. This time, he suggested they waited until they reached land to try and overthrow the group on the ship.  
  
"And what about after that? Besides, we have no idea who or what's going to be waiting once we actually get there" Raven said.  
  
"Well we can't just do nothing!" Finn yelled.  
  
"Finn, lower your voice" Clarke warned. "Raven is right. There isn't anything we can do. So far, they aren't trying to kill us. So shut the hell up and act normal" she said, growing tired of his stupid ideas.

"Clarke, you can't be serious. We can't trust these people" he said.

"I never said that. I don't trust them. But unless you want to be the first one thrown overboard, I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself" she said.

The group around them nodded in agreement.  
  
A little while later, Octavia came down the stairs. Everyone remained quiet as Clarke stood to greet her.  
  
"Are your people rested?" she asked.  
  
Clarke nodded.  
  
"Good" Octavia said, turning to face the group. "Listen up! We will be arriving earlier than expected. We should get there some time tonight. In the mean time, you are to stay in these quarters. There are latrines in the lower level. Artigas" she said, pointing to the young grounder behind her "can take you to them. But only one at a time. I expect a few of you, the stronger ones, to follow me and help out above. The rest of you can clean this place up" she finished, not waiting for anyone to respond before making her way up the stairs.  
  
Clarke talked to her group of friends before addressing the group as a whole.  
  
"Take turns going to the restroom" she began, "Raven, Finn, Miller and I will be up there with them. The rest of you, clean up after us. Those of you who are too tired or sick to work, stay down here and ask the grounder if you need to talk to one of us" she said. 

Afterwards, the four of them made their way to the deck while the others stayed behind. Clarke didn't want them to be separated, but she figured that she didn't really have a choice.  
  
They spent their day helping the occupants of the ship clean up and doing whatever they were told.  
  
That night, Clarke couldn't eat. She was too worried about their landing, and what waited for them. So far, these people were the exact opposite of what she had expected. Of what she had been told. But that didn't mean the others would be, too.  
  
By the looks of everyone around her, they were thinking the same thing she was.  
To her surprise, Octavia sent for her during dinner time. She made her way to the deck, Artigas leading the way.  
  
She was a little taken aback, the sun was setting. She couldn't remember the last time something had taken her breath away.  
  
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Artigas said, noticing Clarke's reaction to the setting sun.  
  
Clarke nodded. He was kinder than any grounder she'd ever met.  
  
Octavia was standing at the corner of the ship where the sails were located. She was on an elevated portion, looking towards the sunset.  
  
Clarke silently joined her.  
  
"Are your people feeling better?" Octavia asked.

"Yes, they are. Thank you" Clarke said. And she was thankful. She was surprised that Octavia cared enough to ask. Well, maybe she didn't. Maybe she was just making conversation. Either way, Clarke was pleasantly surprised.  
  
"Can you guarantee that your people will listen to you?" Octavia asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can you guarantee they won't go behind your back and do something stupid?" Octavia said, cocking an eyebrow.  
  
She was beautiful. In a fierce way. She had long brown hair, perfectly arched eyebrows and sharp cheekbones.  
  
Looking at her made Clarke feel a little ugly. She had cleaned her face as best she could. But her clothes were rags and her hair was so dirty it had become a dark shade of blonde. She could only imagine how awful she smelled, to Octavia anyway. By now, she'd gotten used to her stench and the stench of the others around her.  
  
"Why?" Clarke asked.  
  
"I hear things. Answer the question" Octavia said.  
  
"I-I don't know. But I think so. We-we're not bad people. The things we've done, we've done to survive" she said.

"I believe that, Clarke. I do. But we will not tolerate any disobedience. If someone here steps out of line, they will be dealt with. Can you, as their leader, accept those consequences?"  
  
_Shit. She must have heard some of the things Finn was saying. That fucking idiot._  
  
"I can" Clarke answered. She wasn't sure she was being totally honest, but she knew that Octavia had wanted her to say that, so she did.  
  
"Okay then. Go to your people. Make sure they understand that, as well. We should be arriving in the next few hours."  
  
Clarke nodded and went back to her friends. As soon as she sat down, they asked her if everything was okay.  
  
"Yeah, everything's fine. For now" she said, getting up and facing the room. "Quiet down and listen up. We will be arriving soon. No matter what or who we face, do not, under any circumstance, do or say anything stupid. Keep your mouths shut. Do not argue, do not talk back. Do as you are told. Whatever we face, we will face it together. But if anyone" she looked at Finn "decides to act without our knowledge or consent, then that person will answer to whom ever is waiting for us" she said.  
  
After everyone nodded in understanding, she sat back down.  
  
"Do you have something to say to me?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, I told you to keep your mouth shut. We don't know what we're heading to but so far they've been decent to us. So don't screw that up by trying to form some sort of escape plan, okay? We aren't in any immediate danger" she said, keeping her eyes on him.  
  
"Yet" he said.  
  
Clarke just looked at him.  
  
She tried to eat, telling herself that she might need the strength once they land. But she felt the anticipation pooling in her stomach, tying it in knots.  
  
About an hour and a half after the sun had set, Artigas told them it was time to join the crowd on the deck. Clarke waited until everyone else had left to follow the group to the top level.  
  
It was dark. So dark that it took her eyes a few minutes to adjust to their surroundings.  
She could see the shore up ahead. She figured they would be arriving at some sort of island. But the site before her wasn't what she'd had in mind.  
  
For one thing, it was rocky. Very rocky. The cliffs up ahead looked dangerous, even in the dark. She didn't see any lights, any fires. She couldn't see anything other than the cliffs and a few mountains peeking up behind them. 

The air was cold. A lot colder than it'd been before. Clarke wrapped her arms around herself. So did the others. Their clothes were rags, and a lot of them didn't even have shoes anymore, what with all the walking they'd done.  
  
Eventually the ship was close enough to the shore for them to get off. Clarke felt a little worried. None of them could swim. But when she looked down, the water seemed to reach most of them to the waist, not deep enough to drown in. The grounders actually helped a few of the younger, shorter kids make their way to the shore.  
  
By the time Clarke dragged herself from the cold water, she was shivering. Her teeth clattered while she ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to get warm.  
  
"I hope you're all rested enough" Octavia yelled once they were all on the shore "because we've got quite the hike ahead of us."  
  
A few people groaned. Clarke did. Internally, anyway.  
  
They followed Octavia and a few of the grounders that had gotten off from the shore into the woods. At the edge, Clarke turned to see the ship sailing off again. _Where the hell is it going?_  
  
She made her way to the front of the group, Raven right beside her.

They hiked for about three hours. The first part of the hike was excruciating. All up hill. A few people complained but they were quickly hushed by the others. Once they reached the peak, Octavia let them rest for a few minutes.  
  
Again, Clarke couldn't believe what she was seeing. And by the sounds of it, neither could the rest of her group.  
  
Their position at the very top of a small mountain gave them a perfect view of the valley below.  
  
Below them, Clarke could finally see lights. Tiny clusters here and there. It looked like they were heading to a decent sized village.  
  
But what really caught her eye was the building located on a little hill just above the little town. From what she could tell, in the darkness anyway, it looked like a castle. A castle right from one of her history books.  
  
The second part of their hike was significantly easier than the first part. Clarke noticed that once they got close to the little village, the veered the left, as if they were going to go around it, and not through.  
  
She was right.  
  
They went so far to the left that they couldn't even seen the lights anymore, hidden by the surrounding forest. 

The closer they got to the castle, the more nervous Clarke and the others grew. Eventually, they were walking in complete silence.  
  
The castle looked even larger, even scarier up close. Clarke felt panic and terror rising in her chest. But she tried her best to keep it at bay. The lives of her people depended on her keeping her cool. If she let her panic show, then so would the others.  
  
They came to a set of huge wooden doors with two guards flanking it.  
  
"Hey boys" Octavia said in greeting "Glad to see the place hasn't burned down while I was gone" she said, smirking at them as the opened the doors.  
  
Octavia ushered them in and waited for all of them to enter before making her way to the front of the group again.  
  
Everyone was looking around, including Clarke.  
  
They were in a dimly lit corridor, the air around them chilly. The stone of the castle was a dark grey. The lanterns on each side of the wall, spaced about five feet apart, lit the space up.  
  
No one was speaking, so they had no trouble hearing Octavia.

"Follow me. And stay quiet. Speak only if spoken to" she said, before turning and walking down the corridor.  
  
Clarke swallowed, hoping it'd push down the bile suddenly rising in her throat and followed Octavia. No one spoke a word.  
  
Eventually, they reached another door. This one also had a guard on each side. Octavia didn't even hesitate before opening the doors.  
  
She walked in without a word to Clarke, or the guards.  
  
Clarke followed because she knew she was supposed to.  
  
The first thing she noticed was the huge chandelier-like object hanging from the center of the ceiling. It was burning bright with candles. _How do they get those up there?_ She wondered. She shook her head, thinking about what a stupid thing it was to concern herself with. They had much bigger worries.  
  
She quickly glanced around as she made her way behind Octavia.  
  
The room was huge. Probably bigger than any room she'd ever been in. _A throne room_ , she thought. It was brightly lit, lanterns and candles everywhere; in the windowsills and on the tables. There were two long tables on each side, full of people.  
  
People who had gone very, very quiet. People who were looking at her. At them.

She focused her attention back to Octavia, who was now kneeling on one knee in the front of the room.  
  
There were a few steps leading to an elevated portion of the room. And on that elevated part of the room stood a long table. A young man sat in a large wooden chair behind it, all by himself.  
  
"Kneel, child" an old woman to Clarke's right whispered.  
  
Before she could think twice, Clarke mirrored Octavia. She bent down on one knee and lowered her head. She heard the group behind her follow suit.  
  
"Your Grace" they all heard Octavia say, "Your wonderful sister has returned."  
  
Clarke could almost hear the smile in her voice.  
  
_Sister? Who's the kings sister? Octavia?_  
  
"I see that" the young man at the front of the room said. His voice was deep and gravely. Clarke found it a little scary, if she was going to be honest with herself.  
  
"And why is that my sister returns almost a week later than expected?" he says. Clarke could hear him getting up, his chair scraping the floor.

"Unforeseen complications, Your Grace" Octavia said. Clarke was sure that she was smiling now. She could hear the man, the king, coming down the steps towards them.  
  
She decided to look up.  
  
The young man, the king apparently, walked towards Octavia. When he was standing in front of her, he reached down and offered her his hand. She grasped it and he pulled her up.  
  
And to Clarke's surprise, he hugged her. Octavia wrapped her hands around his neck while he placed one hand on her back, and the other on her head. He kissed her cheek before letting her go.  
  
"Are you okay? Did everything go smoothly?" he asked in a quiet voice.  
  
"Yeah, it was fine" Octavia said.  
  
He nodded and finally looked past her to the group of people kneeling the center of the room.  
  
His eyes landed on Clarke's first. She dropped hers to the ground a second later.  
  
She heard him take a few steps towards her. He stopped right in front of her. She decided not to look up. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to or not, but she figured she'd better play it safe.

He stood there for a few moments before moving on, walking around the group in a circle. When he made his way to the front of the group again, right in front of Clarke, he spoke up.  
  
"What the hell is this?" he asked.  
  
Still, Clarke didn't look up. She was pretty sure no one else did, either.  
  
"I said the exact same thing" Octavia said, joining the king at the front of the group.  
  
"I thought they had said these people were supposed to be warriors? Not a bunch of children" he said, with a little edge to his voice. "Look at them. Not a single one of them can be over the age of twenty. These are the people who invaded the Commander's lands? The people who have wreaked havoc and murdered hundreds of the Trikru?" he said.  
  
By that point, Clarke was sure that Octavia was, in fact, the kings sister. His reactions was practically the same as hers.  
  
"Apparently" Octavia said.  
  
"How have they survived? They're practically skin and bones?" he asked, like this was some sort of trick. Clarke could feel anger replacing her fear. "And you couldn't have soaked them in the water before bringing them here? They're absolutely filthy" he asked.  
  
"They can't swim" Octavia said. A few people chuckled.  
  
Clarke could feel herself getting tense. Her knee was starting to ache, but she didn't dare look up. Not just yet.

"This is their leader, Clarke of the Sky People" Octavia said.  
  
The king took a step towards Clarke.  
  
He put a hand on her chin and pushed her head up, making her finally lift her eyes from the ground.  
  
"Clarke..." he said, sounding her name out. "Clarke of the Sky People. Rise" he said.  
  
She stood up. She wasn't sure how. Her legs felt like jelly. For some reason, being closed off in this room, with nowhere to run, made her feel like she was back at the Dropship that morning when the Grounders had surrounded them.  
  
He studied her face for a few minutes.  
  
She felt her cheeks flame under his scrutinizing gaze, aware of how dirty she was.  
  
"Tell me, Clarke of the Sky People, how has such a little girl managed to survive all this time? How has a child outsmarted trained warriors? How has a child caused so much trouble for the Commander of the thirteen clans?"  
  
Something about his tone and the mockery in his eye made Clarke angrier than she'd ever been.

"I don't know...but perhaps you will find out" she said before she could stop herself. _Now I've done it! Now I've killed us all. What the fuck! Why did I just say that?!_  
  
"You fool! How dare you talk to our king in that manner!" one of the guards behind the king shouted.  
  
But the king himself only smirked.  
  
"Perhaps I will" he said.  
  
He let her go and walked back to his table, Octavia behind him. She sat down at a chair similar to but smaller than his. He joined her and then raised his head to address the two guards stationed below his table.  
  
"Take half of them to get cleaned up" he said, not even looking at their group "and take the other half to the dungeons. When the first group is finished, take the rest. And then bring them back to the dungeons to join the rest. But leave their leader here" he said.  
  
Before Clarke could do or say anything, Finn rose and spoke up.  
  
"You're not separating us! Let Clarke come with us! Let us stay together" he said, a little venom in his voice.  
  
A few people gasped.

Clarke's eyes widened a little and she turned to look back at Finn.  
  
"Finn, shut up! And apologize!" she hissed.  
  
"No! You have no idea what they might do to us, to you, if they separate us" he said, walking to stand in front of Clarke.  
  
For the first time since she'd seen him, the king actually looked scary. He narrowed his eyes, glaring at Finn.  
  
"What is your name?" he asked.  
  
"Finn"  
  
"Change of plans. Do what I said before. But take the leader with you. Leave this one here" he said, nodding towards Finn.  
  
"No!" Raven yelled, but when she tried to make her way towards Finn, a guard grabbed her.  
  
Before anyone could do anything, a few guards circled them. They separated them without any sort of order, and lead one group out of the doors and to the right while the other half went to the left. Clarke made sure she was in the group to the left, since Raven, Jasper, Miller and Monty were in that group.  
  
She panicked. She didn't want to leave Finn all alone in that room, but she had no choice. And if she tried to fight or argue, she would only make the situation worse.

"What the hell Clarke? Why didn't you fucking say anything?" Raven asked.  
  
"What was I supposed to say, Raven? I told him to shut up! If-if I'd tried to fight it, I probably would have made things worse" Clarke said.  
  
"Clarke's right. Let's just hope that Finn keeps his mouth shut" Miller says.  
  
They are lead up a few flights of stairs before they reach a hallway with two doors, one on the left and the other on the right.  
  
The door on the right opens and a short, chubby woman appears. "Ladies, please come inside" she says. They all look to Clarke.  
  
She looks back at Raven and nods. Clarke, Raven, Harper and the rest of the girls go inside. The woman closes the door behind them while they look around.  
  
They're in what appears to be a large bathroom. There are about five wooden tubs in the center of the room, a few feet of space between each one.  
  
"I'm afraid the water's going to be cold, I didn't get much of a notice" the woman says.  
The girls look to Clarke, again, to see what they should do.  
  
Clarke goes to one of the tubs, a little surprised. She'd never been in a tub before. The only had showers in space, but she'd read about tubs for bathing in one of her old books.

"Thank you" Clarke says, facing the woman. "This is perfect."  
  
She takes off her clothes (if she could even call them that), not caring about being naked in front of the other girls, and gets in.  
  
The other four tubs are eagerly filled while the rest of the girls wait in the corner for their turn. The woman who'd ushered them in hands each of them a piece of cloth and a small bar of soap.  
  
Clarke felt as if she was dreaming. The anger, the fear from before completely disappeared as she stared at the piece of soap she was handed. Looking around, the other girls in the tubs looked like they felt the exact same way.  
  
She made eye contact with Raven, who was two tubs down, and smiled. Raven actually smiled back, as if she'd forgotten what had happened in the throne room only minutes ago.  
  
Clarke probably took more time than she should have, bathing herself. But she couldn't help it. She hadn't washed in months. When she'd finally scrubbed the dirt and grime from her skin, she lathered the remaining bit of soap into her hair and used a bucket of fresh water to wash it out.  
  
Afterwards, she got out of the tub and helped the other girls empty the dirty water from the tubs and replace it with clean water so that the rest of the girls could have a turn.  
  
The woman stayed in the room with them, handing each of them something like a towel to dry their hair and bodies with. 

Clarke felt remarkably better by the time that all the girls were finished.  
  
"I'm afraid, for the time being, we do not have any undergarments. But I do have clothes for each of you" the woman said "Please find something to your liking and put it on" she said, pointing to the left corner of the room. There was a little table with a pile of clothes.  
  
Clarke didn't care about the undergarments. She walked to the corner of the room and picked up a pair of soft black pants. She put them on along with a dark green long sleeved shirt, and almost sighed when the warm material clung to her skin.  
  
The other girls did the same.  
  
They followed the woman out of the room, and found the guys that were taken to the room across from theirs in a similar state. They looked clean and just about as pleased as the girls did. The guards took them down a few flight of steps until they reached a cold, dark chamber.  
  
The rest of the group looked up in surprise.  
  
The ones who had stayed now followed the guards up while the ones who remained, now fresh and clean, stayed behind in the dungeon.  
  
It looked like Clarke had imagined a dungeon would look. There wasn't anything around them so they all settled on the floor and waited for the rest of the group to come back.

Her worry and fear returned. She had thought she was past that, after their journey through the Dead Zone, but here it was, clawing at her insides. She wondered what they were going to do with them. She wondered if Finn was still alive.  
  
Nothing, absolutely nothing, had gone the way she imagined it would. For starters, these people were....a lot nicer, a lot more civilized than she thought they'd be. But maybe it was some sort of trick? Maybe they were doing this on purpose? To get the group to let their guard down right before an attack?  
  
Nothing made sense. Why did they bring them here in the first place? Maybe the king had actually thought they were warriors, and not just a bunch of kids sent down from space?  
  
And the king...he wasn't anything like Clarke had imagined. The way the other grounders had talked about him...she'd imagined someone much older, much crueler. But then again, he could be killing Finn at this very moment.  
  
Clarke put her head in her hands. She was tired. She was weary. But most of all, she was fed up. She wanted to know what was going on. What they planned on doing with them.  
  
Eventually the second group came back. They all huddled in a circle and discussed what was going on. They were just as shocked, just as worried as Clarke was.  
  
She didn't join in on the conversation.

About an hour later, two guards came to get them. They lead them back into the throne room, which was empty now, save for the king, his sister, and a few guards.  
  
No sign of Finn.  
  
"Sit" Octavia said from her place at the front of the room, "Eat."  
  
They sat down. Clarke tried not to look worried. She tried not to glance to the front of the room too often.  
  
About 15 minutes later, Finn walked through the front doors.  
  
He looked completely fine. Good, actually. He was clean and he had on new clothes. He made his way towards Clarke, sitting down next to Raven, across from Clarke. Clarke noticed his eyes stayed glued to the table, not risking a glance towards the king or his sister.  
  
"What happened?" Raven asked.  
  
"Nothing" Finn answered.  
  
"He didn't say anything?" Raven said.  
  
"Nothing important" Finn replied.

"I told you to keep your mouth shut" Clarke hissed, "Why did you say that? Do you realize what could have happened? He could have killed you!"  
  
"I know. And I'm sorry, okay?" Finn said. He placed his hand on hers.  
  
"It's fine. Just don't do it again, okay?" Clarke asked.  
  
Raven looked at their hands. Clarke pulled hers out from under Finn's, quickly.  
  
He nodded.  
  
She tried to listen in on the conversation that the king and Octavia were having, but they spoke quietly so Clarke couldn't make anything out.  
  
She turned her attention to the food, figuring that if she were going to die, she might as well die with a full stomach.  
  
A few people whispered back and forth while they ate, but for the most part the group remained silent.  
  
"Now that you all resemble human beings again, I'd like to have a few words with you" the king said, rising from his chair.  
  
Clarke finally allowed herself to look up at him, giving herself an opportunity to study him.

He was much younger than she expected. Probably in his mid to late twenties. His skin was darker than Octavia's, and where her eyes were bright green his were almost black. His hair was dark and curly, almost the same shade as his eyes. He had had a small black crown on his head when they'd first arrived, but it was gone now. He was dressed in all black, and she wasn't really sure what kind of material his outfit was made of, but it looked sturdy and thick.  
  
He walked down the few steps and stood tall and straight in front of the room. His placed his hands behind his back and looked at them for a few minutes, studying them.  
  
"When I accepted the terms with the Commander, I wasn't expecting this. Your numbers, and your group in general comes as a great disappointment to me" he said. Clarke wanted to roll her eyes but she didn't.  
  
"Be that as it may, you are here. And I am still willing to take you in. So as of right now, you have two options. Stay, become part of my clan and we will accept you. Or leave. It is up to you. Or should I say, your leader" he said, his eyes locking on Clarke's.  
  
"What are your terms?" Clarke asked. She figured it was a safe question. "Will my people be safe?"  
  
"As long as your people abide by my terms, no harm will come to them" he said, still looking at Clarke.

"And those are...?"  
  
"Come, let us discuss my terms in private" he says.  
  
Everyone stayed quiet. Clarke got up, deciding that she'd better take the kings offer and at least hear him out before deciding anything.  
  
"Clarke..." Finn says, grabbing her hand. "It's not safe for us to be separated."  
  
"Clarke's a big girl, Finn. She can take care of herself" Raven says, narrowing her eyes at him.  
  
Clarke pulled her hand from his grasp and walked towards the king, unaware of how she should proceed.  
  
"Come, walk with me" he says, walking out of the door, not even giving her a chance to respond. She looks back at Octavia, whose face gives nothing away, before turning and giving her friends what she hopes is a reassuring nod.  
  
She follows him out of the doors, the cold floor of the castle draining all the heat from her body.  
  
He slows down enough for her to catch up. When she does, he looks at her bare feet.

"Where are your shoes?" he asks.  
  
"I-I don't have any" Clarke says.  
  
"That's unfortunate. The castle can get pretty cold, especially at night" he says, shrugging.  
  
"Yeah, I've noticed that" Clarke says, dryly.

The walk in silence for a little while before Clarke summons the courage to speak up again.  
  
"W-what are you going to do with my people?" she asks.  
  
"I'm not really sure yet" he says, shrugging again.  
  
One one hand, that pisses her off. On the other, she's relieved he didn't say he was going to kill them or make them his servants.  
  
"Like I said...I wasn't expecting a bunch of children."  
  
"We're not children. Most us are older than 16. And we've survived this long, I think that proves that we can be an asset" she says.  
  
"Is that so? I'm not really sure about that. Based off of what I've heard, the only thing you've done is manage not to get killed. But then again, over half of your people aren't here."  
  
Okay, now she's definitely pissed.  
  
"You have no idea what we've been through. If you did, you'd understand that it's basically a miracle that this many of us have survived" she says, a little more sharply than she intended. She remembers her conversation with Octavia, about watching her tone before adding "I apologize. I did not mean to insult you. I-I-" she stammers. _What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you trying to get killed?_  
  
He just looks at her.

"So what are your terms?" she says, hoping he's still willing to take them in. The thought surprises her. She wasn't sure when she'd decided that she actually _wanted_ to stay, but from what she'd seen so far, this place was better than where they were.  
  
"Simple enough. You and your people stay here, abide by my rules. Do as I say. Join our clan. Become part of my community as I see fit."  
  
"What do you mean, part of the community as you see fit?"  
  
"Well whoever stays has to earn their keep. I won't allow your people to stay here if the won't work for me. In some way or another" he said.  
  
They were still strolling through the castle.  
  
He hadn't mentioned anything about being servants or slaves, so it sounded...pretty reasonable.  
  
Clarke was so confused. _What the hell were the other grounders talking about?_  
  
"I'm sorry...I'm just a little taken aback" Clarke said, after realizing she'd been silent for a few minutes. "This is not what I, or my people for that matter, were expecting."  
  
"And what is it that you were expecting, exactly?"  
  
"The-the way the others talk about this place...they made it seem as if..." she didn't really know what to say. 

"Ah, yes. The others" he said.  
  
"Can you promise that...that my people will be safe?"  
  
"I've told you, Clarke. Your people will come to no harm, as long as they do not cause me, or my people, any trouble."  
  
"Is that it? Are those the terms?"  
  
"Well, there is one more thing" he says, smirking at her.  
  
_Oh god. We are so screwed.  
_  
"What is it?" she asks, a little afraid to hear the answer.  
  
"I'd like to seal this alliance between our people with a marriage. It is our way" he says.  
  
"A-a marriage?" she asks, a little shocked.  
  
"Yes, a marriage."  
  
"Between who?"  
  
"Well, myself obviously. And the leader of the Sky People."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know how to describe this fic, just something I've been thinking about. It's a little out of my comfort zone, but I'd like to try something new. This fic is a mix of canon and AU, but if it isn't mentioned in the fic, it didn't happen!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3  
> I will update soon!


	2. Chapter 2

"The-the leader of....of the Sky People?" Clarke asked, shocked.  
  
"Yes Clarke. You" he said slowly, like she might not be comprehending the situation.  
  
She didn't know what to say. This was the last thing she was expecting to hear.  
  
_A marriage? Between us? I'd have to marry this...this...?_  
  
"I understand this may come as somewhat of a shock to you. Perhaps you are promised to another, or perhaps you wish not to marry at all. In any case, those are my terms. We typically seal our alliances with a marriage, and while I...I had considered another option, this one seems like a better opportunity, since your people are already here. I will not rush you. So think it over. Talk to your people and give me your answer in the morning" he said. After that he called for a guard.  
  
"I'll have my guard escort you back to your people and then back to the dungeons. I know it's not the best place, but seeing as you haven't made up your mind about my offer and I still don't really know you, or what your people are capable of, it is in my best interest to keep you down there."

And he says it all so casually, so casually he might as well have been talking about the weather. Or politics. But then again, it seemed as if marriage was politics on Earth.  
  
He leaves without another word.  
  
Clarke felt completely and totally numb. _What the hell just happened?  
_  
The guards escort her back to her people. They wait until they're back in the dungeons to ask her about what the king had said.  
  
She waits for them to settle down before addressing the group as a whole. She tells them about the kings terms, about becoming part of his community. Staying in his kingdom.  
  
"Wait....that-that's it? His only conditions are...for us to listen to him? Abide by his rules?" Miller asked. "That sounds...too good to be true."  
  
A few people nod in agreement.  
  
"There's one more thing" Clarke says. "They make these alliances with....with marriage."  
  
Everyone looks around in confusion. A few people actually look scared.  
  
"Between who?" Raven asks.  
  
"The leader of each group" Clarke says, her voice devoid of emotion.  
  
"So....that means that...you...you'd have to marry him?" Jasper asks.  
  
Clarke nods.  
  
"No!" Finn yelled, getting up. "Absolutely not, Clarke! You've heard what the others have said about him. We-we can't consider this."

"Yes, Finn, I've heard what they've said..." Clarke begins, "But so far...it-it isn't as bad as they said it was?" She couldn't believe she was actually considering marrying him. She realized, in that moment, that she didn't even know his name. She was considering marrying a stranger.  
  
"Yes but that doesn't mean it's not true. He-he could just be acting this way so to seal this alliance!" Finn yells.  
  
"Okay but why would he do that? What exactly does he have to gain from us? I mean, he was right. There are literally 49 of us. And more than half of us don't even know how to fight or anything...so why would he be trying to trick us?" Miller said.  
  
"I-I don't know. I just know that something weird is going on" Finn said.  
  
A few people start talking at once.  
  
"Everyone be quiet!" Clarke yells. "There's an easy way to settle this. Show of hands, who wants to stay?"  
  
About twenty hands are raised.  
  
"Okay, who wants to go?" she asks.  
  
Only three hands go up.  
  
The rest didn't even vote.  
  
Clarke sighs in frustration.  
  
Raven gets up and makes her way to Clarke.  
  
"Clarke...this place is okay, but we can't ask you to do that. You don't even know who he is."

"I know, but what other choice do we have, Raven? Those are his terms. And if we decide to leave...." she thinks back to that horrible month of being a captive, being completely powerless.  
  
Everyone is quiet after that.  
  
"It's really up to you, Clarke" Miller says. "If you wanna marry this guy, then do it. But...you have to understand that this means giving up any sort of future you have planned for yourself. If you don't want to, you know we'll all support you. If you go, we go with you. Fuck the grounders. We made it this far."  
  
She hears a few people murmur "Yeah" and "Nate's right", while a few people nod. The majority of the group just looks scared.  
  
_Not all of us have..._  
  
"Clarke, you can't actually be considering this..." Finn says.  
  
"I-I need to think about this for a little while...by myself."

She wanted to be alone, but considering the fact that they were all crammed in the dungeon, she didn't get the chance to do so. She settled for sitting in a corner and placing her head between her knees.  
  
To marry the king, she'd have to forfeit her entire future. All of her plans. It wasn't actually like she had any, considering that her life had mostly revolved around getting through a day at a time...but still. On the Ark, they got to choose their partners. She could have married any man or woman she'd wanted to marry. She could have stayed single.  
  
But now, now she either had to marry this man and stay here in this place. Or refuse the terms and be sent back to where they came from.  
  
She wasn't sure which option was worse. They were both equally shitty.  
  
She didn't want to go back. She looked at the scars on her wrists, permanent reminders of what she'd been through in the last two months or so. She was sure that the rest of her friends had them as well, and probably a few more from their time on the ground.

But this place...it wasn't what she was expecting. And these people, they were actually considering letting them live here in peace.  
  
When they landed, they were seen as intruders, invaders. Here, they were being treated as guests.  
  
But despite all of that, she knew what it really came down to. Was she willing to sacrifice her life, her happiness for her people? So that they could get a chance to live in peace? In safety?  
  
When she took the role as their leader, she never imagined it'd come to this. Yeah, she'd risked her life and her safety for them. But this was different. This was her future.  
  
She looked around at her remaining group of friends. They'd already lost so much...  
  
She got up and climbed to the top of the stairs where she knew a guard would be waiting. She didn't want to wait until morning, she didn't want to give herself the opportunity to change her mind. She knew what she had to do.  
  
She asked the guard to take her to the king's chambers, she told him it was important.  
  
To her surprise, he nodded and told her to follow him.  
  
He took her down large hallways, up a few flights of steps, even down a structure that was something like a bridge until they stopped in front of two huge doors.  
  
The guard knocked a few times before they finally heard the door being unlocked.

"Sorry to disturb you, Your Grace, but the lady requested to see you" the guard said, looking at Clarke.  
  
The king looked a little surprised, but other than that, he seemed completely impassive.

He nodded at the guard and opened the door, letting Clarke come inside.  
  
She didn't really get a chance to look around, but the room they were in must have definitely been his private quarters. Everything was so....nice. She felt taken aback, yet again.  
  
He motioned for her to sit on a plush, red velvet couch. She sat down, looking around the room. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been in such a nice place, if ever.  
  
"And to what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked, seeming a little bored. Or maybe he was just tired. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch.  
  
"I-I have thought about your terms" Clarke said, her voice wavering.  
  
"And?"  
  
"And I have a few questions."  
  
He didn't say anything, waiting for her to go on.  
  
"If-if I decide to accept your offer....what exactly...I mean, what would you expect from me?" she asks.  
  
"Is marriage a foreign concept in space?" he ask, smirking at her.  
  
She glares at him. How could he joke at a time like this? She kind of wants to slap that stupid smirk right off his face, so she places her hands under her thighs to control the shaking.  
  
"I would expect your loyalty. Not only to me, but to my people as well. You'd live here, with me. At some point, I'd like to have children...but that isn't exactly a condition, just my personal preference" he says, still smirking at her.  
  
The urge to slap him is even greater than before.  
  
"So...I'd be...like, the queen?"  
  
"Well, I am the king, so yes. You would be queen."  
  
She thinks about that.

"And my people....they would truly get to live here, in peace, in safety?"  
  
He sighs.  
  
"As I've said before, as long as your people abide by my terms, they'll be safe."  
  
"Yeah, I know you said that" she said, very annoyed at this point "but people don't always mean what they say. I have no idea who you are. From what I've heard, you aren't someone I should trust" she says before she can stop herself.  
  
But part of her doesn't care. If she really was going to marry this man, she should at least get a little sense of who he is.  
  
"Yes well, perhaps you shouldn't always believe in what you hear. You and your people are a perfect example of that. You are not what I expected you to be....based on what I've heard, as you say" he said, seeming just as annoyed as she felt.  
  
She narrows her eyes at him.  
  
"And if I accept this offer, will I have some sort of say here?"  
  
"You would be the queen. Of course you'd have some sort of say here."  
  
She thought about it. It was the best she could hope for. And if she didn't accept it, then they would be kicked out and forced to go back the Commander's lands.  
  
"Okay...I-I accept your offer" she finally says.  
  
"Alright, I will let my people know tomorrow. We will have the ceremony in a few weeks, once everything has settled."

"Okay then" she said, getting up. She couldn't really believe what she'd just agreed to. What she was about to sacrifice. She was going to marry a man, a king, she didn't even know. "What's your name? Or do I have to refer to you as 'your majesty' or 'your grace' for the rest of my life?" she asked. Part of her wondered why she was acting so bold, so normal in front of this man.  
  
He laughed a little.  
  
It kind of transformed him. Suddenly, he didn't look like the king. He looked like someone who's smile kind of made her want to smile, too.  
  
"My name is Bellamy, and you can refer to me as such" he says, his genuine smile from a few minutes ago was replaced by yet another smirk.  
  
"Okay, then, Bellamy. I guess we have a deal. Should-should we shake on it or something?" she asked, but as soon as the question was out, she mentally cursed herself. _Should we shake on it? A marriage proposal? Shake on it? SHAKE ON IT_?  
  
"There's no need to....shake on it...whatever the hell that means. You still have the rest of the night to think it over. Hell, I guess you have all of the time until the actual ceremony to change your mind."  
  
"Is that what you're hoping for?" she asked.  
  
"If that was what I was hoping for...I wouldn't have asked you in the first place" he said, getting up to walk her to the door.  
  
She prepares to open the door, ready to leave, when he grabs her upper arm.

"But Clarke? Once we do this...I expect loyalty. I expect commitment. If you or your people are planning something...if you go behind my back, if you betray me...I hope you understand that I'll have no choice but to kill all of you. If you and your people are planning to deceive me, I hope you understand the consequences."  
  
A chill ran up her spine.  
  
She gave him a little nod before leaving. She felt safer in the dungeon.

* * *

 

_If you and your people are planning to deceive me, I hope you understand the consequences._  
  
His parting words replayed over and over while she made her way back to the dungeon.  
  
_If you betray me..._  
  
It wasn't like she was planning on it.  
  
_I'll have no choice but to kill all of you._  
  
Either way, the threat rang high and clear.  
  
When she was back in the dungeon, she told her people what was happening. What was going to happen. The only person who protested was Finn. But she expected that.  
  
He did tell her he loved her, after all. But whatever feelings had been blooming for him were crushed when Raven came down to Earth in her pod.  
  
A little part of Clarke was still heartbroken by his deceit. But since then, she'd been so focused on keeping them alive that she didn't really have time to nurse her wounded heart. And now, she was pretty much over it. Yeah, it hurt. He'd made her the other woman. He still hadn't really let her go. But what they had died only a day after it was born.  
  
Even though she was exhausted, she slept no more than an hour that night. And the uncomfortable dungeon was only part of the reason why.  
  
They next morning, a guard came to fetch them and they made their way back into the throne room.  
  
There were a lot of people there, who they were, she wasn't sure. But they must've been important enough to dine with the king.

The king, Bellamy, was at his place at the front of the room, talking to Octavia.  
  
For some reason, Clarke tried not to look at him.  
  
He was dressed similarly to how he had been dressed the night before, but this time, he'd had his crown.  
  
After they sat down and began eating, he stood.  
  
The entire room went quiet.  
  
"Clarke of the Sky People has agreed to an alliance with us, with me. She's accepted my hand in marriage, and so we will accept her and her people into our community. For the time being, she and her people will be staying here in the castle until other arrangements can be made. I expect everyone to treat her and her people with respect, and welcome them into our home" he said, cutting right to the chase.  
  
"I will take the time to get to know the Sky People, and once I do, I will place them as I see fit. In the meantime, I'd appreciate it if the rest of you did the same. We will have our wedding in three Saturdays, so I expect preparations to start immediately" he said, and with that, he sat back down and the atmosphere in the room changed. People actually seemed excited.  
  
Throughout the meal, Clarke noticed different people going out of their way to say hello to her and the others at her table. Instead of ignoring them, they tried to make chitchat by asking them a few question or offering some sort of food or drink.  
  
Clarke tried to look pleased, but mostly she felt like throwing up. She kept expecting things to go south. For the king to change his mind and kick them out. Or worse.  
  
Eventually, Bellamy rose from the table. He walked towards her, and for a second she felt like she couldn't breathe. But he didn't even acknowledge her. Instead, he pointed to Miller, Murphy and a few other people and asked them to follow him.

They all looked a little afraid, but they did as they were told.  
  
Before leaving, he turned back to face those who weren't going with him.  
  
"You are free to do as you please, so roam around the castle. Explore the grounds. If you wish to visit our center, please let my sister know so that she can set you up with an escort. Do not go alone. That will be my only warning. I'm having chambers prepared for you all, but in the meantime, you may stay here" he said, looking around the group.  
  
And after that, he left with the group of people he had hand selected. _What the hell is he going to do? Try to get to know them?_  
  
Clarke stayed with the others, trying to eat. She'd lost a lot of weight, they all had. She couldn't remember ever being this skinny. And she felt weak, so she figured she the best thing she could do was stuff herself.  
  
After her third plate, she noticed Octavia walking towards her.  
  
"So, do you want a tour of the castle?" she asked, getting right to the point.  
  
"Um. Sure. Can a few of my friends join?"  
  
"Yeah, why not?"  
  
Clarke asked a few people to join her and they left the throne room, following Octavia.  
  
The castle was pretty huge. There were a lot of empty corridors and hallways, but there were also a lot of rooms. The whole tour took about an hour.  
  
"So that's it. There's only one more place I have to show you guys. Personally, it's my favorite room" she said, a little mischievously.  
  
The room she took them too was almost as big as the throne room. They all silently filed in behind Octavia, their mouths open in surprise.

"Our training room" Octavia said, with a smirk.  
  
Clarke didn't know where to look first. The walls were covered in weaponry. Swords, knives, axes, bows, maces. Pretty much anything she could think of.  
  
"You guys just leave this place open like this? With all of these weapons?" Finn asked.  
  
"We have nothing to fear. And besides, did you not notice the guards at the front door? Or the ones in this very room, for that matter?" Octavia said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
There were four of them, one in each corner. _Do they always keep them here? Or are they here because of the influx of guests now residing in the castle?_ Clarke wondered.  
  
In the center of the room, people were fighting. Well, practicing.  
  
And to Clarke's surprise, Bellamy was one of them. He was explaining something to Miller, while the others who had gone with him were practicing with some of Bellamy's people.  
  
"Well, what are you guys waiting for?" Octavia asked, "Who want's to practice?"  
  
"Uhh...I don't know if that's such a good idea.." Jasper said.  
  
But before he could protest, Octavia grabbed his arm and led him away.  
  
Raven and Finn decided to follow. Eventually the rest of the group joined them, some practicing with one another while the others watched.  
  
Clarke found herself in the corner of the room, watching the others. After about half an hour, she noticed Bellamy walking towards her.  
  
He wasn't in his 'king' clothes anymore. In fact, he looked like everyone else in the room. Like he wasn't their ruler.

"Your people are in terrible shape" he says, walking up to stand beside her.

Clarke crossed her arms over her chest. "Yeah well, we haven't really had much to eat since we've landed" she said, a little defensively.  
  
"And they've got absolutely no combat skills" he adds.  
  
"Well, we've made it this far."  
  
"Are you always this hostile? Or is it just my presence?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I don't really know. But I'm pretty sure it's just your presence."   
  
He smirked at her.  
  
"Do you want to practice?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you want to practice?" he repeats, nodding towards the center of the room.  
  
"Uh...not really, no" she says. There was no way she was going to get in the center of this room and pretend to fight. She knew she couldn't. She'd save herself the embarrassment.  
  
"Well, you know, even queens have to fight sometimes. You should learn how to protect yourself."  
  
She feels a little blush creep to her cheeks at his comment.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Whatever you say" he says, and he actually rolls his eyes at her.  
  
Before she can think of a comeback, he leaves and joins the crowd at the center.  
  
Clarke decides to leave and explore the castle on her own for a while. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had time to herself. It felt nice.  
  
She didn't have to worry about her facial expressions, she didn't have to talk to anyone or make any decisions. Eventually, she found herself walking outside, onto the castle grounds. She walked around for a while and settled in something she was sure was some sort of garden. Whatever it was, it had a bench and it was surrounded by flower bushes.  
  
For the first time in a long time, she let herself feel sad. She let herself mourn for those who they had lost. For those she had lost. For all the things she would lose.  
  
She didn't want to marry this man. She didn't want to be the queen. But what other choice did she have? She knew this was the best option for her people. She had to put their needs in front of her own, yet again. She let a few tears slide down her face, grateful for the solitude.  
  
Eventually she made her way back to the throne room for a late lunch. But when she arrived, there wasn't anyone else there. She cursed herself for missing lunch.  
  
She vaguely remembered where Octavia had pointed out the kitchen, and after a while she found it. It was huge.  
  
There were two older ladies, a young girl, and a middle aged man there.  
  
"Hello there dear" one of the ladies said, noticing Clarke standing in the doorway.  
  
"Hi-um...I-I missed lunch so I was wondering if I could...If I could have something to eat?"  
  
"Well of course, why don't you sit down at that table" the same lady said, pointing to a small wooden table pushed against the far wall, "and I'll get you something" she said, smiling at Clarke.  
  
Clarke felt a little awkward but she made her way to the table. A few minutes later, the lady set down a bowl of what looked like stew and a big piece of bread.  
  
"Thank you" Clarke said, smiling at her.  
  
"You're welcome, my lady" the woman answered.  
  
_My lady? What?_  
  
She ate in silence. _Well, this isn't so bad. I might have to marry a stranger but at least I get to eat. And shoes,_ she thought, looking at her feet. A guard had brought her a nice pair of sturdy sandals that morning.  
  
When she tried to clean up after herself, the same lady told her they would take care of it. _So is this what being a queen will be like? Having people bring me food and clean up after me?_  
  
She hated to admit it, but it was nice. She was so used to taking care of the others, watching over them, she'd kind of forgotten what it was like to be taken care of for a change.  
  
After she ate she decided to go back to the bathtub room and take another bath. She warmed the water at the fireplace before dumping it in the tub. After that, she just let herself soak for a while.  
  
She felt tired and since she'd barely slept the night before, she decided to take a nap. Right there in the tub.

* * *

 

Clarke woke to the sound of a few girls entering the bathroom, giggling and talking about something. Raven was among them.  
  
They were all sweaty. They must've been practicing their fighting skills.  
  
Clarke knew she should eventually join them. She really should practice, she might need those skills. She should be able to defend herself.  
  
_Perhaps I'll join them another day._  
  
After her bath she wandered around the castle some more, eventually settling on a windowsill to study the scenery.  
  
She could see the little village that was located below the castle. It looked nice. She could see the makeshift houses, and make out people here and there. She wanted to visit but she decided to save that for another day, when she got a little more comfortable here.  
  
The sun had started to set and she wished she hand something to paint or draw with. It was a beautiful place, there was no denying that.  
  
Eventually she knew it was time for diner so she made her way back to the throne room. As usual, her friends were in their regular spot. Bellamy and Octavia in theirs.  
  
She sat down next to Raven and tried to join in on the conversation.  
  
Everyone was in a significantly better mood than they had been yesterday. Hell, than they had been in the past few months. That made Clarke smile.  
  
She found herself relaxing and laughing with her friends. She hadn't laughed in months.  
  
Later on in the evening, Bellamy made his way down to their table.  
  
"I've had a few rooms prepared for you. Since there aren't enough rooms for each of you, you'll have to share. Decide among yourselves and when you're ready, the guards can take you to them" he said, looking around at them.

When his eyes landed on Clarke, he blushed a little.  
  
"For the time being, you can stay in the rooms with your friends...until-until you're ready to move into my room" he said, looking at her before walking away.  
  
A few people giggled. Finn glared at Bellamy as he walked away.  
  
"So....Clarke....the kings quarters...I wonder what that'll be like?" Jasper said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I don't know, but if you really want to, you could go ask him if you can join him tonight in my place? Or would you like me to ask him for you?" Clarke said.  
  
A few people laughed. Monty even cracked a smile. For the first time in months.  
  
And in that moment, Clarke decided that whatever she'd have to face after this would be worth it.

* * *

 

That night, Clarke stayed in a room with four of the other girls. Since there were only two beds, they had to share.  
  
But since this was the first time since they'd landed that they actually got to sleep in a real bed, she didn't mind. None of the other girls seemed to mind, either.  
  
Her first week in the castle flew by. She relaxed a little, as the days passed.  
  
She was starting to feel better, regaining some of her strength thanks to all of the food she'd been consuming. The others looked better, too.  
  
On what she was pretty sure was Saturday, (she'd lost track of the date and the day, but she didn't really mind) she finally decided to go into town. None of the others had asked yet, and she figured they were waiting for her to do it first.  
  
So that morning, after they ate breakfast, she caught Bellamy on his way out to ask him about it.  
  
"Hey, um, is-is it okay if a few of us head down to the center?" she asked. She felt a little ridiculous. But she remembered his warning, so she pushed the feeling aside.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Do you want me to come with you?" he asked. They hadn't really talked much, just a comment here and there, so she was a little perplexed by his offer.  
  
"Well, you-you don't have to. I mean, I'm sure you've got other things to take care of...like...king responsibilities or whatever" she stammered.  
  
He smirked at her. She felt like slapping him again.  
  
"No, I don't really have any...king responsibilities...at the moment. I can take you."

"Okay well, can a few of my friends join?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
She decided to ask only Raven, Harper and Monty to join them.  
  
She wanted to wear something a little nicer, but she didn't really have any options so she went in her black pants and a loose grey shirt.  
  
Bellamy waited for them at the front doors of the castle. And once they joined him, the front doors opened and they walked out. Clarke was a little surprised that the guards didn't follow.  
  
"Hey! Wait for me!" Octavia yelled from behind them.  
  
There was a little path leading all the way from the castle to the village below, so the walk was relatively easy.  
Octavia tried to make conversation with the group, since they were all walking in silence. She asked about what it was like to live on the Ark, about the kind of things they'd seen in space.  
  
Eventually, they made it to the village and Clarke felt nervous. Too nervous.  
  
"Calm down" Bellamy said, looking over at her.  
  
"What?" she asked, i _s it really that obvious?_  
  
"My people know you and yours are part of this place now. No one will attack you, if that's what you're worried about. Then again...maybe you should have accepted my offer last week, about training" he said, fighting a smile.  
  
Clarke rolled her eyes, dramatically.

They walked through the village and Clarke couldn't stop herself from looking around. It all seemed so....normal. Exactly like she'd pictured it.  
  
A few people said hello to her and her friends. A few came forward to greet the king and bow. But everyone they encountered was pleasant. They all looked at him with affection.  
  
It still surprised Clarke. It surprised the others, too.  
  
But what surprised her more than anything was when she noticed Monty and Bellamy hunched over something one the merchants was selling.  
  
She couldn't remember the last time she'd heard his voice.  
  
She looked over and found Raven and Harper looking at Monty the same way she had been. For the first time in a long time, Clarke felt hopeful. That things would finally get better for them.  
  
On the way back, Bellamy slowed down long enough to walk beside her.  
  
Raven decided to walk a little faster, joining Octavia at the front of the group. _Traitor!  
_  
"Why did you have that look on your face earlier?" he asked.  
  
"Uh, you're going to have to be a little more specific" she said.  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Earlier, when I was talking to Monty. I looked up and you were staring at us with a weird look in your eye. What did it mean?"  
  
She was a little surprised he noticed.

"Our journey here was a little tough for us. Our entire time on the ground was, actually. But we lost quite a few people coming here...and-and we were all pretty convinced we were heading to our deaths. And well, that was actually the first time I'd seen Monty speak in weeks, so..."  
  
He pondered that for a minute.  
  
"He's not like anyone I've ever met before. Most of you aren't" he said.  
  
"Well, we did come from the sky" Clarke said. She didn't really know how they'd gotten here; how she felt comfortable enough to tease him.  
  
"Yeah, how could I forget?" he teased back.  
  
She smiled before she could stop herself.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" she said.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Why-why do the people on the outside say all those awful things about this place? About you? They pretty much had us convinced we were headed to a truly awful place."  
  
"Uh, well....that's kind of a long story. It wasn't always like this here. And no one really knows that. Nobody comes here without an invitation. And nobody's been invited for a while."  
  
She waited for him to continue, but he didn't.  
  
"Like I said, it's a long story. Maybe I'll tell you, sometime."  
  
"And you don't mind? The things that people say, the things that they think?"  
  
"No, not at all. In fact, I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad they think this place is still....bad, for lack of a better word. It keeps people away."

"And that's what you want? To keep people away from this place?"  
  
"Most people, yeah" he said, looking at her.  
  
For some reason, she felt herself blush a little. 

* * *

 

That night, for the first time in a long time, Clarke was a little drunk.  
  
In fact, most of her friends were as well.  
  
The first week, almost all of them had avoided the wine at the tables, not feeling relaxed enough to want to drink it. But tonight they were.  
  
And for the first time since she'd accepted Bellamy's proposal, she thought about the kind of future she could have here.  
  
Here, where her friends were safe. Here, where she didn't have to constantly look over her shoulder. Here, where she could live in peace.  
  
She wasn't entirely sure what her obligations as queen would be. And she'd heard from a few others that there were other villages located here, villages Bellamy would visit. But how hard could it be? They were in their own little part of the world.  
  
Here, there weren't any outside threats. Here, there weren't any boundaries she had to worry about, no territory was off limits.  
  
So she let herself feel hopeful.  
  
So what if she had to marry a man she didn't love? So what if she barely knew him? At least her life was finally in her own hands. At least she could live the way she wanted to. Well, kind of.  
  
Okay, so the whole I-barely-know-the-man-I-have-to-marry thing was a little weird, a little disappointing. But they could get to know one another. He seemed like someone she could be friends with...or at least she thought he did.  
  
She found herself studying him from afar, watching him interact with the people around him. Something about him just seemed so _genuine_. Like he meant what he said. Like he really did care about his people, and by that extension, hers.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Her people were interacting with Bellamy's people more and more. A few of them even seemed to be something like friends.  
  
And then Finn, drunk, asked her to dance. A few people were dancing in the center of the room, some man was playing some sort of instrument.  
  
Clarke didn't want to, but Finn was persistent. So she gave in and she danced with him. And it wasn't that bad.  
  
Until she noticed Raven staring at them with a sad look in her eye before turning away. Until she noticed Bellamy staring at them with an angry look in his eye before turning away.  
  
After that, she stopped and decided to join Harper at the table, a few of Bellamy's people around them. She noticed Raven heading to their room earlier than usual.  
  
After a few hours, the crowd started to dwindle so Clarke decided it was probably time for her to head to bed as well.  
  
A drunk Finn walks her to her room.  
  
"You shouldn't have to marry that guy" Finn says, a little before they reach her room.  
  
"Finn, stop it. You know I have to."  
  
"No, you don't Clarke. We don't have to stay here. There are plenty of other places we can go."  
  
"You and I both know that isn't true."  
  
"But it is...you don't even love him, Clarke."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So you deserve to marry someone who loves you, someone you love in return."  
  
"Yeah well..."

"Clarke I-" he beings. They were at her door now.

But he stopped as they heard two people approaching. They look up to find Octavia and Bellamy looking right back at them.  
  
For some reason, Clarke's cheeks burn.  
  
"Goodnight, Finn" she says. He rolls his eyes at Bellamy before leaving. Clarke feels a little embarrassed.  
  
Octavia nods at Clarke and picks up her pace while Bellamy slows down and stops to talk to her.  
  
"Hey" she says, not knowing what else to say.  
  
"Hey" he says back. He looks down the hall where Finn had disappeared for a few moments before speaking up. "When I came to you with my proposition, I thought I'd made it pretty clear that I didn't want to do this if you're already involved with someone else?"  
  
"I-I'm not."  
  
"Are you sure about that?"  
  
That pisses her off a little. And she's drunk enough to talk to him the way she wants to, not the way she thinks she needs to.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure. What kind of question, or should I say accusation, is that?"  
  
"I'm questioning based on the things I've noticed."  
  
"Well, maybe you need to pay closer attention. He's dating Raven, and we're just friends."

"Oh, is that so? Is that why he asked you to dance instead of his so-called girlfriend? Is that why he stood up for you? Is that why he's walking you to your room while she walked alone?"  
  
"I-I told you, he's my friend. There isn't anything going on between us."  
  
"I really hope you're not lying to me."  
  
Now she's even more pissed than before.  
  
"Screw you, Bellamy. I told you I'm not with him. If you don't believe me, that's your own damn fault."  
  
He looks a little shocked, probably because he's not used to people talking to him like this.  
  
After a few seconds though, he smirks at her like he knows it makes her want to slap him into the next century.  
  
"Does he know that?"  
  
"Well he should. I've made it pretty clear" she says, calming down a little. "Why? Are you jealous?" For a second, she's a little mortified. She knew she'd never say anything like that if she wasn't drunk.  
  
"Maybe a little" and to her shock, he winks at her before saying goodnight and walking to his quarters.  
  
She stays outside of her door for a few more minutes, processing what had just happened.  
  
_Did...did he seriously wink at me? Was he really just flirting with me? Oh my god....was my future husband flirting with me?! My future husband...the king...was jealous? Holy shit._

* * *

 

The next morning when Clarke woke up, Raven was already gone.  
  
Clarke goes to the throne room, hoping to catch Raven during breakfast and check that everything was okay. She felt guilty about the night before, even though nothing had actually happened between her and Finn.  
  
But she isn't there, either.  
  
Before Clarke could really start to worry, Jasper tells her that Raven had just left.  
  
Clarke sighs. _Oh thank god._  
  
"Do you know where she went?"  
  
"Uh, probably the training room" Jasper said, "to work off some of that steam."  
  
_So she is angry,_ Clarke thought. "Okay, thanks Jasper."  
  
"Watch out, though. She's in a terrible mood."  
  
"Do you know why?"  
  
"Not really. But she snapped at a few of us this morning...and then, last night, she came into our room and asked for Finn. I'm pretty sure she broke up with him, because when he came back inside he was holding that necklace he'd made her. The bird one?" Jasper said.  
  
Clarke just nodded. It had been a long time coming. Honestly, Clarke was surprised when Raven decided to stay with Finn after she found out about Clarke. But then she recalled Raven telling her that Finn was the only family that Raven had.  
  
She walked to the training room after breakfast and found Raven. There were a few other people there, practicing.  
  
Raven was alone, doing push-ups in the corner. 

"Hey" Clarke said.  
  
Raven didn't look up.  
  
Clarke felt awkward. She wasn't sure what she should say, since Raven was pretty much ignoring her.  
  
"Are you mad at me or something?" she finally said.  
  
"No" Raven spit out, "why would I be mad at you?"  
  
"Well, you are kind of ignoring me so..."  
  
Raven got up.  
  
"I'm not mad at you, Clarke. It isn't your fault that people can't stop falling in love with you."  
   
"Raven...Nothing-nothing happened between Finn and me."  
  
Raven turned away and walked to the center of the room.  
  
"So, who wants to fight?" she asked, looking around the room.  
  
Clarke finally noticed Bellamy at the front of the room, talking to Octavia and Miller. A few people looked up. Some of Bellamy's guards actually laughed.  
  
"Anyone? Or are you too scared?" Raven asked, glancing around the room.  
  
Clarke noticed Octavia exchange a look with Bellamy. He nodded.  
  
"I'll fight you" Octavia said, walking towards Raven. "Hand to hand combat. When you're ready to give up, just say so" she said, smirking at Raven.  
  
Raven only glared at her.  
  
They circled around one another, sizing each other up.  
  
The others in the room gathered in a circle around the two girls, watching. Bellamy stayed at his place in the front of the room, crossing his arms.  
  
Raven lashed out, going for the first hit.

Octavia moved to the left, expecting it. But she made no move to strike back.  
  
Clarke grew nervous. She didn't think this was a good idea.  
  
Raven tried again, closing in on Octavia and swinging.  
  
This time, Octavia dodged the punch and grabbed Raven by the shoulder at the last second. She roughly pushed the other girl to the floor. Raven landed with a thud.  
  
"Pathetic" Octavia sneered.  
  
Raven grit her teeth and got back up. Clarke could tell that she was angry.  
  
Clarke made her way to stand beside Bellamy.  
  
"I don't think this is a good idea" she whispered.  
  
"Why?" he said, "Just because you don't want to train doesn't mean the others feel the same way."  
  
"She-she's angry. She might do something, she might hurt Octavia" Clarke said.  
  
Bellamy laughed.  
  
"Octavia is the second best fighter we have here. So if anyone's going to get hurt today...it won't be her."  
  
That didn't make Clarke feel any less uneasy.  
  
Just then, Raven let out a scream. She was on the floor, with Octavia on top of her. She held Raven's arm behind her back, at a very painful looking angle.  
  
"That's enough!" Clarke yelled, walking towards the two girls.

Octavia let Raven go and rose to her feet, glaring at Clarke the entire time.  
  
"It's enough when I say it's enough" Octavia said, coldly. "Or until this weakling tells me she's ready to give up" she said, looking at Raven.  
  
Raven got to her feet and looked past Octavia to Clarke.

"Stay out of this, I don't need you to stick up for me. This doesn't involve you" she said, in the angriest voice Clarke had ever heard her use.  
  
Clarke backed away. She had only been trying to help. But Raven obviously didn't want her help, so she went back to her place.  
  
The girls circled one another again, but this time Octavia didn't even wait for Raven to make the first move. Her hand shot out faster than Clarke thought possible, and the sound of her fist connecting to Raven's jaw echoed around the room. Raven's head violently snapped back at the impact. And a second later Octavia kicked at her, knocking her legs out right from under her. Raven landed on the floor with a crash.  
  
"Pathetic" Octavia said again, looking down at Raven. "Is that all you've got?"  
  
Raven got up off the floor, weakly. She put her fists in front of her face, ready to fight again. She went for another punch.  
  
Again, Octavia deflected it. But this time she brought her leg up and slammed it into Raven's side. Raven let out a scream at the impact and landed on the floor, yet again.  
  
"Stop this" Clarke said, looking to Bellamy. "You're the king. You can stop this, tell her to stop!'  
  
"Why? The girl is only getting what she had asked for. She wanted to fight. And so fight she shall" he said, shrugging.  
  
"You don't understand!" Clarke yelled.

"Get up!" Octavia yelled, looking down at Raven. She kicked her again.  
  
"It is you who doesn't understand" Bellamy says, indifferent.  
  
Raven groans, still on the ground. Clarke thinks (hopes) it's over. But Octavia continues to circle around Raven.  
  
"You call that a fight?" Octavia says, now smirking down at Raven. A few people laugh.  
  
Raven stands up, clutching her side, her mouth bloody. She spits at Octavia's feet.  
  
Octavia looks to Bellamy, who nods.  
  
Clarke is a little confused by the ordeal. Octavia then turns back to Raven and before Raven can even put her hands up, Octavia punches her across the face so fast and so hard that Raven looses her footing and ends up falling face first on the ground.  
  
Clarke decides to go to her.  _Raven's pride be damned,_ she thinks. But Bellamy grabs her arm and yanks her back in place.  
  
"This isn't your fight and as she said this doesn't involve you" he says, a little angrily.  
  
"I think she's had enough" Clarke says, yanking her arm free.  
  
"When she's had enough, she'll say so. You are not in control here" he says, "And you'd do best to remember that."  
  
Clarke glares at him. She wants to leave but she's afraid to, for Raven's sake.  
  
To almost everyone's surprise, Raven gets back up again. Clarke wants to scream at her. Tell her to stay down, or give in. But she knows that'll only make Raven angrier.

"Ready to give up?" Octavia says, mockingly.  
  
"Fuck you" Raven shoots back.  
  
_Oh no_ , Clarke thinks, watching Octavia narrow her eyes, a scowl forming on her face.  
  
"Well, you really shouldn't have said that" Octavia says, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Raven only has enough time to brace herself before Octavia drives her knee into Raven's stomach. She doubles over, gasping for air. Octavia pauses for a second, giving Raven enough time to look up, before punching her one last time.  
  
After that, Raven doesn't get back up.  
  
Clarke goes to her, and this time Bellamy lets her. Octavia smirks at Clarke before walking away. Clarke glares at Octavia's back before turning to Raven, still lying on the ground.  
  
"Oh my god" Clarke says, taking Raven's bloody face in her hands.  
  
But Raven shoves Clarke's hands away from her face, "I'm fine" she says, sitting up.  
  
"Fine? You could have a concussion, Raven! What the hell were you thinking?"  
  
"I was thinking that I wanted to fight, and I did. So back off. You're not my goddamn keeper, Clarke. So stop fucking acting like it" Raven says, quite harshly.  
  
Clarke can't mask the hurt that washes over her. She was only trying to help.  
  
Bellamy makes his way towards them. Once he's close enough, he offers Raven his hand. To Clarke's surprise, she takes it and he pulls her up.  
  
"Good job" he says.

"I got my ass kicked, I know that. You don't have to rub it in."

"What?" he says, looking genuinely confused. "No, I mean, of course you got your ass kicked. But that was to be expected. The fact that you kept getting up is what I was referring to."  
  
"Oh" Raven says.  
  
"We have all been in your position, Raven. Granted...most of us were very young when we were in said position, but no matter. None of us were born warriors. But having the strength, the fire to keep going despite the fact that you are losing is just as important as combat skills. Even more so, I'd say. I suspect, with some training, you might be able to get a few hits in the next time you decide to fight my sister. Who knows, maybe you'll even win" he says, smirking at her.  
  
Raven's returning smile is hesitant and small, but it's there.  
  
"I'll have one of my guards escort you to our healer, let him assess you and see if there's anything that needs to be done" he said before calling one of the guards over.  
  
Raven nods and limps after the guard, following him out of the room.  
  
Clarke's anger from earlier had dwindled, mostly due to the way Bellamy had treated Raven. He was a lot kinder than she had been expecting.  
  
"As for you" he begins, turning to face Clarke, "Remember what I said earlier. Your people can do as they wish. Do not try to control them. And next time...don't interrupt. You are not the queen just yet" he said, his voice cold.  
  
Her anger returns. But she knows better than to try and argue, so she just nods. She focuses on channeling all of her anger into her eyes, hoping he'll get the message.  
  
He leaves after that.

Clarke is so, so angry she contemplates asking one of the people in the room to fight with her in hopes of working some of that anger off. But she decides against it. Instead, she storms out of the room. She goes back to her room and lays in her bed, thinking about Raven. And Octavia. And the king.  
  
She's still angry once lunch time comes around, and despite the fact that she was hungry, she stays in bed. At some point, she falls asleep.  
  
Eventually, one of the girls she shares her room with wakes her up.  
  
"Hey, it's dinner time. I figured you wouldn't want to miss it since you weren't at lunch" she says.  
  
"Oh, um, yeah. Thanks."  
  
The girl leaves the room and shortly after, Clarke follows, still a little groggy from her nap.  
  
She sits down at her usual spot, the very front of the table and looks around. She notices Raven sitting almost at the very end of the table, so far from where she usually sat at Clarke's side. Raven's face was already bruising, her eye almost swollen shut. Clarke tries not to look hurt by the distance she'd put between them, but she is.  
  
Finn takes Raven's seat at Clarke's side.  
  
"Hey, where have you been? We missed you at lunch."  
  
"I was taking a nap and I missed it" Clarke says, filling her plate. She was extremely hungry by that point.  
  
"Oh" he says. They eat in silence for a little while before he speaks up again. "So Raven broke up with me last night."  
  
"I heard" Clarke said. She didn't really feel like talking.

"She says it's because I don't love her....like I love you" he says, looking at Clarke.  
  
Clarke doesn't know what to say to that, how to reply. So she remains silent.  
  
"She's right, you know" he said, lowering his voice.  
  
Clarke looks up and sees Raven looking at her, just for a second, before her eyes drop.  
  
"I don't care, Finn" Clarke hisses.  
  
"You don't mean that...."  
  
"Yes, I do. I mean it. I don't care. So please stop" she says, losing patience.  
  
"But Clarke, I-"  
  
"Stop it. If you don't stop talking about that, and I mean right now, I'm going to get up and leave."  
  
He sighs but thankfully doesn't say anything else.  
  
They eat their meal in silence.  
  
Afterwards, Clarke stays for a little while, talking to the others. A few of them chat excitedly about going into town the next day. A few talk of their progress with training.  
  
Eventually Octavia walks towards them with a cup in her hand. She walks beside table and stops when she reaches Raven, who looks up a little wearily, a little angrily.  
  
"Here" Octavia says, handing Raven the cup.

"What is it?" Raven asks.

"A cup of our finest wine. Reserved for the king and his family. But I figured you deserved a little after the ass kicking you took today" Octavia said, smirking.  
  
"Oh, um, thanks" Raven said, a little surprised.  
  
"You're welcome. Come to the training room tomorrow after you eat. We can begin your training. I promise to take it easy on you this time."  
  
Raven nods and Octavia walks out. A few people look to Raven, asking her about what had happened, admiration in their eyes.  
  
A short while later, Clarke decides to head to her room. She bids the others a good night, and walks out of the throne room.  
  
She hears someone coming up behind her, and anger makes her clench her fists. She turns, expecting to see Finn, preparing to yell at him, but she stops short when she realizes it isn't Finn. It's the king.  
  
"Can I walk with you?" he asks, like he's actually giving her an option.  
  
She nods.  
  
"I will be leaving in the morning, before you wake. I need to visit the other places in my kingdom. To let them know of our agreement, and to invite a few people to our wedding" he said, his trademark smirk making its way to his face at the last part of the sentence.  
  
"Okay" she said. She still feels angry about how he'd talked to her that morning.  
  
"I'll be gone for five days, perhaps a little longer. My sister will be in charge. If there's anything your people need, if there's anything you need, go to her."  
  
Clarke nods and they walk in silence the rest of the way to her room.

"One more thing" he says, "this evening, one of my guards let me know that two knives have gone missing from the training room. They were there this morning, but now they are not."  
  
Clarke's stomach drops. _What?_  
  
"Naturally, I assume it's one of yours. And well, frankly, I'm not threatened by a pair of knives. I've seen your people fight. I'm more concerned about what will happen once I find the culprit" he said.  
  
"Are-are you sure? Maybe they've been misplaced...or maybe someone else has taken them?"  
  
"Do you take me for a fool?" he said, narrowing his eyes at her. Heat in his gaze.  
  
"No...I-I just don't think that anyone in my group would do that...I-I don't see why they would" she said, hating herself for stuttering. It made her seem guilty, or afraid.  
  
"I can assure you that it isn't any member of my party. I'd be willing to stake my life on it. Can you say the same thing for yours?"  
  
She doesn't say anything. She knows how it looks. They arrive and suddenly weapons go missing. She'd be thinking the same thing, if she were in his place. But why would any of her people do that? Why would they risk it?  
  
"Talk to your people, Clarke" he said, "I expect those knives to be in the training room by the time I get back. If they aren't...then whoever has them will have to answer to me. If you'd like to avoid that situation, talk to them. I won't tolerate disobedience or theft. That's not who we are. If your people can't accept that, then you do not belong here." He doesn't wait for her to respond.

After he leaves, Clarke leans against the door, trying to control her breathing. She could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears.  
  
She thinks about who would have done something so reckless...so disrespectful. Immediately, she thinks of John Murphy and his little group. The troublemakers. Could they have done such a thing? Risked the safety of the entire group for two knives?  
  
She stays awake the entire night, contemplating how she should go about the situation. Eventually, her anxiety takes over and before she knows it, she's shaking Raven, telling her to get up.  
  
Raven's a little pissed but she walks out of the room with Clarke. Clarke looks down the empty corridor, making sure they were alone. She tells Raven about what Bellamy had told her.  
  
"Shit" Raven said, running a hand through her hair.  
  
"But what if- what if it's not one of us?" Clarke asked a little desperately.  
  
"Stop kidding yourself" Raven said, rolling her eyes. "You know as well as I do that it's one of us. That fucking idiot!" she half-yells.  
  
"What do we do?"  
  
"I don't know, I guess hold a meeting tomorrow. You're the leader so it should come from you. Make them understand what's at stake. And hopefully they'll return it before the king gets back."  
  
They stand in silence for a while.  
  
"What do you think he'll do?" Raven whispers.

"I don't know" Clarke answers. And she honestly doesn't. They go back into the room. Since she can't sleep, Clarke sits by the base of the bed. She hears Raven tossing and turning and she figures that the same thoughts must be running through her head as well. _What will he do if the knives aren't returned? Throw all of us out? Send us back? Go around and search every single one of us? Kill us?_ Really, the possibilities were endless.  
  
The next morning during breakfast, Clarke calls the group to attention and tells them to meet her in the dungeons after they eat.  
  
She waits until everyone is there to begin.  
  
"The king came to me last night, inquiring about two knives that have gone missing from the training room. I'm not even going to humor the idea that someone from outside our party has taken them, because we all know that isn't true" she said, looking at Raven. "We should all just be glad that the king came to me first, giving me an opportunity to talk to you guys. He could have sent us back, or worse, without asking any questions. He's going to be gone for a few days, but when he gets back he expects to find those knives in the training room. I'm not going to ask how or why whoever has taken them did it, it isn't important. What's important is to return them, immediately."  
  
A few people began to murmur, looking around at each other.  
  
"To whoever has taken them; please, please do us all a favor and return them. We-we are doing great here. They've given us shelter, food. That's more than any of us could have hoped for. They are willing to live with us in peace. Two knives are NOT worth everything we'd lose if they aren't in the training room when he gets back."  
  
It doesn't feel like enough. They knew the risks. They still took the knives.

"And if those knives aren't returned, I will personally go to the king and let him know that he is free to search us and our rooms when he gets back. He might just throw us all out. But if he doesn't, if his men tear this place apart until they find whoever has taken them, I hope you will understand that the rest of us will not stand with you. If he catches you, you will face the consequences by yourself with no protest for me. Or anyone else, for that matter. I hope you know that."  
  
_There. That feels threatening enough_.  
  
The next few days pass faster than any of the others have, but perhaps it only seems that way to Clarke. She'd barely slept the past few nights. Her anxiety was at an all time high.  
  
She'd been by the training room every morning and every night since Bellamy had left. Hoping, praying that the knives would appear.  
  
On the fifth morning, she walks to the training room with bile rising in her throat and sweat coating her palms. As soon as she arrives, her eyes search the wall that she knew the knives had come from.  
  
She felt like her heart had skipped a beat when she gazed upon the empty spot where she knew the two knives should be.  
  
She walked out into the hall and sat down on the floor, putting her head in her hands.  
  
She looked up when she heard someone approaching her. It was Raven. She silently sat down next to Clarke.  
  
"Should we have another meeting?" Raven asks.  
  
"I don't know. I don't know what else I can say" Clarke said, desperation in her voice.  
  
"Let me talk to them" Raven said.

And so she does.  
  
"Listen up!" she yells, as soon as they were all back in the dungeon. "We all know that whoever has taken those knives still hasn't returned them. The king will be here soon. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow. But that isn't important. The important thing is that whoever took those knives NEEDS to return them. Today. As soon as we leave this dungeon. This will be your last chance," her voice was steady and strong. Her bruises had faded a little, but her eye was still black.

"When the king comes back, if those knives aren't there...he'll kill you, whoever you are. This is his castle. There's no way you're going to be able to hide those knives once he tells his men to search us. And he will find you. The rest of us, including myself and Clarke, will not lift a finger to try and help you. If you're willing to die for those knives, then by all means, keep them."  
  
With that, she grabs Clarke's hand and they leave the dungeon. They spend the rest of the day in the garden. They don't talk much, but just having Raven beside her makes it easier for Clarke to breathe.  
  
At diner time, they go directly to the throne room. Too afraid to stop by the training room to check for the knives.  
  
Clarke felt like her stomach was in knots, making it hard for her to eat. But Raven sat beside her, told her to eat. So she tried.  
  
About half an hour later, the door opens and Bellamy walks through. Everyone's quiet. Clarke's heart rate speeds up, fear courses through her veins. She curses herself for not checking the training room before diner.  
  
He walks to the front of the room and turns to face them. People get up and bow before him. Clarke and the others do the same.  
  
She peeks up at him, the temptation making it too hard to stop herself.

He looked a little tanner, like he'd spend a lot of time outdoors. He was clean and dressed in his nice dark king clothes, the shiny crown on his head.  
  
He caught her staring only a few seconds after she looked up. Her eyes dropped to the floor. His face looked impassive, emotionless. As usual.  
  
"Rise" he said, and they all did. He turned back and sat down in his chair. Servants brought him food and drink. He ate. He drank.  
  
Clarke kept waiting for him to say something. But he didn't.  
  
The longer he sat there, the more nervous Clarke grew. She felt like the anticipation was making her sick.  
  
Octavia had come inside at some point. She and Bellamy were discussing something, their voices low and their heads bowed.  
  
Clarke strained to listen, to catch a single word but she couldn't. Not with all the chatter going around, not with the hushed tones they'd been using.  
  
Bellamy looked up and caught her staring again. She quickly looked away, but she heard him get up.  
  
He was at her side before she knew it.  
  
Everyone at their table went quiet.  
  
"Take a walk with me" he said, putting his hand out. She didn't want to take it. She didn't want to get up, at all. But she figured that she didn't really have a choice.  
  
So she put her hand in his. 

His hand was rough, his fingers calloused. But it was warm. And compared to hers, his was huge.  
  
He let go a second after she rose to join him.  
  
They walked in silence, and this time he led her through the back doors and into the garden. It was dark, but the moonlight was bright enough to light up the path through the garden.  
  
"Did-did you have a nice trip?" she asked, mostly because she didn't know how else to break the silence.  
  
To her surprise, he smiled a little.  
  
"I did" he said, "and did you have a nice week without me?"  
  
She tried not to roll her eyes. "Yes, I did" she said, looking straight ahead.  
  
"I figured you would" he said. She could feel his gaze on her.  
  
They walked in silence again. Once they got to the little bench she'd sat at a few days ago, he sat down. She sat down next to him, but made sure there was at least two feet of space separating them.  
  
"So, the knives have mysteriously made their way back into the training room" he said.  
  
Clarke let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. _Thank god.  
_  
"Whatever you said must have been compelling enough for whomever had taken them to return them before I got back."  
  
"I guess so" she said, but she knew it really must've been Raven's warning.

The look on his face filled her with dread though, something about it made him look angry. Dangerous.  
  
"Despite the fact that the knives have been returned..." he began.  
  
_Oh no. Oh god. Shit!_  
  
"This situation has made it clear that I can't trust your people. And by that extension, that I can't trust you" he said, looking over at her.  
  
"But...but they returned them. They were probably just scared. And after what we've been through...can't you understand that?"  
  
"Yes, I can understand that. But your people aren't in danger here. I'd like to think that I've been kind to you since you have gotten here. I've provided food, shelter....I'm not threatening you, I'm not punishing you or hurting any of you. And despite that someone, or someone's, took it upon themselves to steal weapons."  
  
She didn't know what to say to that.  
  
"I'm not really sure how to go about the situation. Part of me wants to let it slide, chalk it up to what your people have been through. Their fear."  
  
"Then you should" she says. _Please, please let it slide_. "I mean, I'd really appreciate it if you did. I-I know it was....a horrible thing to do, and I can understand why you aren't inclined to trust us, but I really do think it was done out of fear. After everything we've been through...it's hard for us to feel safe."  
  
He thinks about it for a few minutes.

"Okay then, Clarke. I'll let it slide, just this once. But if anything, and I mean anything, goes missing from that room again...I'll act first and ask questions later."  
  
She nodded. It was the best she could hope for.  
  
"I got you something" he says, looking over at her.  
  
"What?" she asked, surprised by the change in subject.  
  
"I got you a present" he says.  
  
"A...a present?"

"Yes...is that another thing you don't have in space? Marriage and presents?" he asked, fighting a smile.  
  
"Shut up" she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm just a little surprised, is all."  
  
"You know....if anyone else spoke to me in that manner...I'd probably take their head" he said, all traces of his smile disappeared.  
  
"I-I didn't mean it like that I swear, it's just that" she began, fear rising in her chest, "I mean, I didn't seriously-"  
  
But he cuts her off with a laugh.  
  
"I'm kidding, Clarke" he says, the smile on his face making him look younger.  
  
"Oh my god...you-" she said, shaking her head, "for a second I thought you were serious" she put a hand on her chest, willing her heart rate to slow down.  
  
"Relax. I don't take heads for things like that. You'd have to say something a lot worse for me to at least consider it."

She shook her head in confusion. Why was he acting like this? So...so normal? Like they were friends or something?  
  
"So, what'd you get me?" she asked, her curiosity from before returning.  
  
"I've left it in my room" he said, getting up. They walked back in silence until they reached the doors leading to his quarters. He greeted the guards there, and went inside.  
  
Since he hadn't invited her in, Clarke stood by the door, waiting for him to return.  
  
He came back a few minutes later, and they walked down the bridge-like structure for some privacy.  
  
"Here you go" he said, handing her something wrapped in parchment paper once they were alone again.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, looking at the present in wonder.  
  
"Just open it" he said, rolling his eyes.  
  
She fought the scowl she wanted to throw his way and opened the package.  
  
Inside, there was a little book. The binding was leather and she opened it to find thick blank pages. A little sketchbook. And behind the sketchbook she found eight perfect color pencils. Already sharpened and ready to use.  
  
She looked up at him. "How-how did you know?"  
  
"I asked around" he said, shrugging. "Monty had mentioned something about you being their healer, but that you were actually an artist, so..."  
  
Clarke looked back at the present. It was nice. Too nice.

"I can't accept this. It's wonderful but..."  
  
"Relax, Clarke. It's a present. It's not a big deal" he said, shaking his head a little.  
  
"Um...okay then. Th-thank you" she said, blushing a little. She wasn't sure why he'd done it. Why he'd even thought about her long enough to get her something while he was away. Why he questioned Monty about her. _Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you're gonna get married_ , she thought, _you idiot._  
  
"I've had a long journey so I'm going to bed, but I'll have one of my guards escort you back to your room, or wherever you'd like to go" he said, yawning a little.  
  
"Okay, um. Thanks again. For-for the present" she said, feeling a little awkward.  
  
He only nodded in response.  
  
She decided to go to her room, not really wanting the others to see that she'd gotten a present. She still wasn't sure how she felt about it. Part of her felt weary. The other part felt a little flattered.  
  
She put her gift under her pillow and went back to the throne room to talk to her people. She told them about what Bellamy had said, about this being the only time he'd be understanding of the situation. She told them about his threat, hoping that it would prevent them from doing anything like this ever again.  
  
That night, she really wanted to draw. It'd been a long time since she'd gotten the opportunity to do so, but she didn't want the other girls in the room to see, not just yet. And besides, she wasn't sure what she had wanted to draw. The first drawing had to be something special. It was a new sketchbook, after all. 

The girls said goodnight and Clarke finally felt the effects of the past few sleepless nights making her eyes droop, pulling her towards sleep.  
  
She was almost asleep when she decided on what the first drawing in her new book would be of: a pair of large, tan hands holding a package.

* * *

"Get up" the man yelled from above her.  
  
She clenched her jaw in frustration, getting up. She'd been thrown to the floor for the third time that day, and she was sick of it.  
  
She positioned her feet like he'd showed her to, transferring most of her weight to her left side. Her stronger side.  
  
He swung his right arm, but this time she was expecting it, leaning back far enough for it to go right past her. _Use your opponents weight against them_ , he'd said; so she did. She place both hands on his exposed shoulder, pushing him hard enough that he stumbled but didn't fall.  
  
"Good" he said, "Maybe we'll make a warrior out of you yet."  
  
She trained with him for another hour before heading to the bathroom to wash up before dinner.  
  
A few days ago, she'd decided to begin training along with the rest of her friends, figuring she needed to get her strength back.  
  
After her bath, she made her way to the throne room and ate dinner with the others. She'd lost track of how many days they'd been there, but that morning, a few guests had arrived. For the wedding. She shuddered.  
  
Bellamy had moved a few of her people out of the castle and into the villiage just below them. They were given jobs, most at the castle, and all of them were allowed to come back for dinner each night.  
  
It made Clarke feel hopeful, seeing her people making their way into the community.  
  
They were all looking remarkably better. Stronger, healthier. 

She had gained some of her weight back. Her face was rounder, her eyes no longer had purple bags underneath them.  
  
Everyone seemed to be enjoying their time here. Everyone besides Finn, who somehow found something to complain about every single night.  
  
"Oh shut the hell up already!" Miller exclaimed that very night. Most of them had grown tired of Finn's complaints. "We couldn't have hoped, we couldn't have dreamed of a better place. We're eating. We actually have jobs, we're making our way into their society-"  
  
"And no one's trying to kill us. That's my favorite part" Jasper added. Monty and Harper nodded in agreement.  
  
"Okay but-" Finn began.  
  
"But nothing" Miller said, "We all now you're just upset about the fact that Clarke has to marry the king. And since she's not complaining about it, I don't see why you are" he spat out.  
  
Clarke blushed a little. No, she wasn't complaining about it. Yeah, she still didn't want to marry him. But Miller was right. They couldn't have hoped for a better place. But everything comes at a cost. And her hand in marriage didn't seem like a terrible one, so.  
  
Finn's cheeks flamed. "Shut the hell up, Miller. I'm sorry if I'm the only one who hasn't let their guard down. I'm sorry if I'm the only one who hasn't forgotten what the others have told us!"  
  
"Well if that's how you feel, then maybe you should join the others" Miller said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
No one else spoke up. Finn shook his head in disgust, and looked at Clarke like he hoped she would take his side or something.  
  
She just shrugged.

He got up and left the room without another word.  
  
Part of her felt a little guilty. Part of her felt like she should follow and try to console him. But she didn't. Hoping that some time alone would relax him, help him clear his mind, she stayed at the table.  
  
"He really needs to stop that" Monty said. He'd been talking more and more lately, getting back to who he was before they had gotten captured. "What if Bellamy- or worse, Octavia- hears him?"  
  
The others looked to Clarke. She shrugged again.  
  
She'd already tried talking to Finn a few times, but he was still suspicious. And he voiced his suspicions almost every night. She wasn't sure what she could say to make him stop. It seemed like the closer they got to the wedding, the worse Finn got. Which was completely ridiculous to Clarke. If anyone should be freaking out, it's her.  
  
But surprisingly, she had successfully been able to keep her fear at bay. She thought it was mostly due to the fact that she'd already accepted that this had to happen. And yeah, being married to Bellamy was a small price to pay for all of the good things that would come from their marriage.  
  
They hadn't spoken much since the night he came back; since the night he'd given her a present. But so far, he didn't seem that bad. Yeah, he annoyed her. Yeah, that stupid fucking smirk made her want to claw his eyes out. But he'd been reasonable, he'd been....decent....so really, it could have been a lot worse. She could've had to marry the Bellamy she heard about, not the one she found here.  
  
She decided to go to her room, hoping for some solitude so that she could finish the drawing she'd started the day after she got her sketchbook. But on her way out, Bellamy joined her.  
  
"So, I've heard that you took my advice and began training" he said, looking over at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Actually, I hadn't even thought about your advice when I decided, for myself, to start training. I just figured I should, since everyone else is. And besides, I don't know what I'll have to face at any given moment."  
  
"A wise decision, I'd say" he said, walking by her side. "So, want to show me what you've got?"  
  
"Excuse me?" she said, stopping in the middle of the hall.  
  
"Your fighting skills, Clarke. Unless you've got something else in mind?" and again, that stupid smirk made it's way onto his face.  
  
"No thank you" she said, rolling her eyes, blushing a little. "I'm surprised you even know how to fight. Being king an all. Don't you have your guards there to protect you?"  
  
"Well, I wasn't always the king. And I'll have you know, I'm the best fighter here."  
  
"I thought you said that was Octavia?"  
  
"Actually, I said she was second best. I'm probably the only person that can beat her" he said, smiling.  
  
"Somehow I really doubt that" Clarke said, recalling how she'd seen Octavia take on (and beat) Miller and Murphy the day before.  
  
"Then let me show you" he said, "Unless you're frightened."  
  
Well, that did it.  
  
"Lead the way" she said, her voice cold.  
  
He fought another smile as they silently made their way to the training room.  
  
"Leave us" Bellamy said as soon as they entered.

The four guards in the room left without another word. Part of Clarke felt a little insulted. The other part was glad that no one would witness her attempt at fighting. She'd been training for a few days, but she was still pretty bad.  
  
Bellamy took off the jacket-like piece he'd been wearing, leaving him in a simple black shirt, black pants and black boots as he made his way to the center of the room.  
  
"You want to pick a weapon?" he asked, "I'll let you, to even the playing field a little."  
  
"That's insulting" she said, following him to the center of the room.  
  
"Well, don't say I didn't offer" he said, smiling a little.  
  
She was insulted and pissed off enough to go for the first hit. He dodged it.  
  
He dodged the second and the third as well.  
  
They circled each other for a few moments before she tried again. Again, he dodged it.  
  
She sighed in frustration.  
  
"Stop moving around so much!" she yelled.  
  
He let out a laugh, "Wow. What do you expect? For your opponent to stand there until you can manage to hit them?"  
  
She narrowed her eyes. His mocking tone only made her even more frustrated.  
  
She tried again. Again, she missed.  
  
"If your plan is to wear me out long enough for me to stop, then congratulations" she said after missing yet again.

"You're not thinking about it the way you're supposed to. You're just trying to get a hit in, when you really should be thinking about my position once I've dodged it. You should be looking for open spots. If you continue trying to connect your fist and my face, you'll lose. Even if your opponent isn't nearly as skilled as I am" he said. The overly-confident look on his face made her angry.  
  
But she thought about what he said. If she went for it, he'd move to the right, just as he'd been doing. That'd be the best moment to strike again.  
  
So she did. And this time, when he dodged her hand and moved to the right, her right foot shot out and she kicked him. Not strong enough to do a lot of damage, but strong enough for him to narrow his eyes at her.  
  
She smiled, feeling a lot better now that she'd finally hit him.  
  
"Ah, so you do listen" he said.  
  
They went on like that for about an hour. He didn't try to strike back, mostly he focused on defense, giving her an opportunity to practice her attack strategy. She grew sweaty and restless, kind of wishing he'd try to hit her back so she would feel like she was in an actual fight. If she ever had to fight anyone, she was pretty sure they'd be fighting right back.  
  
"Stop that! I'm never going to learn how to protect myself if you just keep dodging me. Fight back!" she yelled.  
  
"Trust me, you're nowhere near ready for that" he said, smirking at her.  
  
"Oh really? Or maybe you're just all talk? Because based on what I've seen, Octavia could beat you in minutes!" she yelled, going for another hit. Mostly because she wanted to slap the hell out of him.

But after she missed he grabbed her hand, twisting it behind her back, and came up behind her.  
  
He brought his other hand down to her heart like he was holding a knife.  
  
"Dead" he whispered from behind her.  
  
She could feel his chest on her back, her hand still stuck between the two of them.  
  
A chill ran down her spine. Goosebumps rose on her skin.  
  
She yanked her arm free and turned to face him, her anger propelling her forward. She kicked at him but he grabbed her foot and pulled it forward, making her loose her balance and land on her ass with a loud thud.  
  
He laughed.  
  
She clenched her hands and got up, embarrassed. The asshole was actually laughing at her.  
  
"Have I upset you?" he asked, his voice sounding innocent.  
  
He dodged the punch she threw at him and grabbed her by the shoulder. He pushed he a little and she lost her footing but remained upright.  
  
At the last second, he came up behind her again.  
  
This time one hand went to her jaw, tilting it up. The other hand went to her neck, his thumb making a line across it, like he was slitting it.  
  
"Dead" he whispered again, his breath tickling her ear.  
  
This time, she could feel his entire body pressed up against hers. She was a little tempted to lean back into it, but he pushed her away a second later.

"I think that's enough for tonight" he said, grabbing his jacket from the other side of the room. "If it's any consolation, you're not nearly as bad as I thought you'd be. Perhaps with a few more weeks of practice, you could beat one of the 10 year olds we have training" he said, fighting a smile.  
  
"Screw you, Bellamy" she said, rolling her eyes. Angry at him for mocking her.  
  
"One more thing" he said, walking towards her. She stood by the doors with her arms crossed. He came to her side and before she knew it, he quickly turned and swept his right leg under her calves. She felt her legs being knocked out from under her. She let out a little gasp and prepared to land on her ass again when he caught her by the arms at the last second. "Never let your guard down" he whispered, pulling her back up.  
  
She was so angry she didn't even think about what she was doing when she stomped her right foot down on his toes.  
  
"Ah!" he yelled, pulling his foot out from under hers.  
  
"I thought you said to never let your guard down?" she said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
His eyes widened a little, and she swore that for a second they dropped to her lips. But she turned and walked out, going towards her room.  
  
She could feel his eyes on her, watching her walk away.

* * *

 

Her tailbone felt a little sore the next day, but the look on his face after she'd stomped on his foot the night before kind of made it worth it.  
  
She made her way down to the throne room for breakfast in good spirits.  
  
After eating, she noticed Octavia walking towards her.  
  
"You ready to go?" she asked, looking at Raven.  
  
"Yeah" Raven said, getting up. "We're gonna go into town for a bit, wanna join?" she asked, looking at Clarke.  
  
"Sure" Clarke said.  
  
The three of them made their way down the hill. Octavia asked them about why they were locked up, she'd heard from one of the others that that's why they were the ones who had come down.  
  
Clarke told her about what her father had done, that she had been in the Skybox for knowing the secret he'd wanted to share.  
  
"And you?" Octavia asked, looking at Raven.  
  
"I came down after them. Clarke's mother knew that they were alive, she'd wanted me to find her and the rest of them. And I came down...for-for Finn" she said, not meeting Octavia's eyes.  
  
And to Clarke's annoyance, Octavia looked over at her. A disapproving look in her eye. But she didn't say anything.  
  
"Well, that guy's a loser. Any guy, or girl, would be lucky to have you" Octavia said.  
  
Raven's eyes widened a little, but she said nothing.

Once they got to the village, they walked around for a bit. Octavia bought a few things from some of the vendors.  
  
The people there greeted them. One woman offered them some food, and they each took a little. Clarke felt bad, she didn't have any money, or anything to give the woman in return. But she saw Octavia handing her something.  
  
Eventually, they made it to a vendor who was selling soap and what Clarke had figured was perfume. They were tiny glass bottles full of clear liquid. Some smelled of flowers and pine, the others a little stronger.  
  
"Pick one" Octavia said, "both of you. And don't give me shit about not wanting any."  
  
Clarke picked one that smelled like lavender. It was ridiculous, but she felt a little giddy.  
  
After a couple of hours, they made their way back to the castle.  
  
"Are you and Bellamy...are you like, full brother and sister? Because you two look a little different from each other" Raven asked.  
  
Clarke was glad she asked. It was something that Clarke had wondered about, but had been too afraid to ask.  
  
"We had different fathers" Octavia said. "My father was the king. Bellamy was a bastard."  
  
Clarke stopped short. _But if he was a bastard, if his father wasn't the king...how'd he get the position?_  
  
She asked Octavia.  
  
"That's a long story. And probably one you should ask him" Octavia said.

Afterwards, Raven asked her what they did for fun and Octavia talked about that for a while. Swimming, fishing, hunting, hiking, drinking. She told them stories from her childhood.  
  
When they got back to the castle, Clarke noticed a few people hanging up decorations.  
  
She'd been doing a good job avoiding thoughts about the wedding. But seeing them preparing the castle made her anxious.  
  
She wasn't sure what kind of ceremony they'd have, what their traditions were. She thought about the wedding night and felt her stomach clench.  
  
So far...Bellamy had been respectful. But she wasn't sure what his expectations would be once they got married. He had said that she would move into his quarters once they got married. As for what else he expected them to share....she wasn't sure.  
  
She knew it was only a matter of days before they got married. More guests had arrived, the castle was full of people. And they were all so kind, so cheerful that it made it hard for Clarke be angry with them.  
  
That night, Bellamy stormed into the throne room halfway through dinner, looking angrier than she'd ever seen him.  
  
Dread coursed through her veins. She exchanged a look with Raven, worry plastered on the other girls face. It made Clarke feel worse.  
  
_Shit. What happened?_  
  
He made his way to his table and argued with Octavia for a few minutes before looking up, his eyes automatically finding Clarke's.  
  
"Clarke!" he yelled, "Come here."

She got up and walked towards their table, stopping just below it.  
  
"Y-yes?" she said, her nerves at an all time high.  
  
"My guards have just informed me that a dagger has gone missing from the training room. Would you happen to know anything about that?"  
  
"What? No. Of course not. Maybe-maybe it's been misplaced" she said, her voice coming out a little desperate. She could not believe this was happening again.  
  
"Misplaced? Do you think I'm that stupid?" he asked, getting up. His voice had an edge to it. It was almost cruel.  
  
"No but-"  
  
"But nothing! I told you what would happen if your people did this again! I thought I made it pretty clear that-" he yelled.  
  
"Bellamy, please, don't-"  
  
"Be quiet" he said, glaring at her. "And don't interrupt me. I've obviously been too lenient with you." He was standing above her now.  
  
His tone, and his cruel words hurt her. She looked away.  
  
"Everyone out!" he yelled "Everyone except for the Sky People!"  
  
Clarke ran a hand through her hair. Her heart was beating so fast and so hard. Her body had turned cold but beads of sweat gathered on her forehead and coated her palms.  
  
She turned to look at her friends. They looked just as worried, just as scared as she did.

Silently, everyone else left the room. Clarke was still standing at the front. The others remained sitting. As soon as the doors closed behind those who had left, Bellamy spoke up.  
  
"I've let you into my home. I've provided for you. I've treated you all with respect" he spit out, shaking his head "I brought you here and gave you the option to leave, to do as you please, and you dare defy me and my orders? Who took the dagger?" he asked, looking at the group.  
  
A few people looked around in confusion, most of them just looked frightened though.  
  
"This is the last time I'm going to ask. Who. Took. The. Dagger." he asked again, walking towards the table.  
  
No one spoke up.  
  
He finally turned to look at Clarke for a few seconds. His eyes unusually cold, angry. He looked past her to Octavia. "They don't leave this room until I get back."  
  
Octavia nodded and he left.  
  
Clarke walked back to the table. He hands were shaking so bad but she didn't care. She didn't care if they saw how afraid, how nervous she was. They should all be afraid.  
  
"Whoever took the damn dagger needs to fess up!" Miller yelled, "Otherwise we're all fucking dead."  
  
No one had anything to add.  
  
She didn't know how long they sat there. It felt like hours.  
  
At some point, Raven had grabbed her hand under the table. She was grateful for it. It stopped the shaking, at least.  
  
Octavia's face remained hard, angry. 

Eventually there was a knock on the door. One of the guards opened it and Bellamy walked through, holding a dagger. He was followed by a few guards. One of the guards went around and pointed to a few people, including Clarke and Raven.  
  
"Those five, Your Grace. Those are the ones that reside in that room."  
  
_Oh no_.  
  
She, Raven and the three other girls they shared a room with stood up.  
  
"Who sleeps in the bed to the right?" Bellamy asked, his voice cold.  
  
Clarke and two of the other girls came forward.  
  
"And which of you sleeps on the right side, closest to the wall?" he asked.  
  
Clarke felt like she'd been punched in the chest. All of the air left her lungs.  
  
The other two looked at Clarke.  
  
"I-I do" she said, speaking over the lump that had formed in her throat.  
  
His eyes widened a little, surprised. And then, for a second, Clarke thought she saw a flicker of real pain behind them. But seconds later, the look was replaced by something she could only describe as hate.  
  
"Is that so?" he said, walking towards her. He stopped when he was only a few inches away from her. "We found this under your pillow."  
  
"What? No! You know I didn't-"  
  
"Be quiet!" he yelled. "Does anyone else have anything to say? Anyone want to fess up? Or did your leader do this?"

"She would never do something like that!" Raven yelled, getting up.  
  
"Really? So who was it, you?" Bellamy asked.  
  
"No, it wasn't me. And I don't know who did it but I know it wasn't Clarke!"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"Grab your stuff" he said, looking towards the group. "You're leaving."  
  
"Bellamy, please, you have to believe me-"  
  
"You should be glad I'm letting you go. Sending you back to where you came from. Because I could do much worse" he said, lowering his voice.  
  
A few others spoke up, claiming that Clarke was innocent, that they themselves didn't do anything.  
  
"Be quiet!" Bellamy yelled. And thankfully, all of them shut their mouths. Those who had stood up sat back down.  
  
"Bellamy" Clarke said, cautiously putting a hand on his forearm. "Please just- just talk to me for a few minutes...I-I swear I didn't do this..."  
  
"I told you I'd let it slide the first time. I don't want to hear anything you have to say."  
  
"Just give me a fucking chance!" she yelled, "Please just talk to me."  
  
He looked at her for a few seconds. 

"Fine, let's talk" he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the front doors.  
  
A few people spoke up, asked him to leave her there. She was just about to turn back to tell them that it was okay, that everything would be fine, when she saw Finn coming towards them in her peripheral vision.  
  
Before she could say anything, Finn grabbed Bellamy by the back of the shirt, yanking him back.  
  
"No!" he yelled "You're not taking her anywhere!"  
  
"Finn!" Clarke yelled. She couldn't believe he'd actually just done that.  
  
The kings guards ran forward but Bellamy turned and put his hand up, making the guards stop in their tracks.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he says, lowering his voice.  
  
"You're not taking her anywhere" Finn says, pushing Clarke behind him.  
  
"Finn, stop this right now or I swear-" Clarke began, but she was cut off by the sound of Bellamy's fist connecting with Finn's face. Clarke moved out of the way. The hit knocked him off his feet, and he fell back.  
  
"Do not, under any circumstance, ever touch me again" Bellamy said, looming above him.  
  
He turned back and walked through the doors, not waiting to see if Clarke would follow. She turned to look at Raven for a second before going after him.  
  
He walked ahead of her, going all the way to the bridge before stopping and turning to face her.  
  
"So, what have you got to say this time?" he said, his voice was still angry.

"I-I don't know what to say. But Bellamy you have to believe me, I didn't do this, I swear, you know I-"  
  
"I don't know shit. And I don't have to believe anything. Even if you didn't do this, one of your people did."  
  
"I know, I know that. It was obviously placed there for a reason. Whoever took it, whoever put it under my pillow knew you'd react like this. They knew you'd kick us all out if you thought that-that it was me but Bellamy I swear it wasn't me! Why would I do that? I've been trying so hard to-to make this work. I've agreed to your terms. I've agreed to marry you! Why would I throw all of that away for a dagger?" she said, she knew she sounded desperate but she didn't care. She was desperate.  
  
He looked at her for a few moments, his eyes searching hers. He sighed and turned away, looking at the village below them.  
  
"Bellamy...."she began, walking up to stand beside him. "Please, you have to believe me."  
  
He turned to look at her.  
  
"I do. I believe you, Clarke" he said. He wasn't yelling anymore. He didn't even sound angry. He sounded...disappointed. Which somehow made her feel worse. "But that doesn't change the fact that someone in your group did this. How am I supposed to let you stay now? How am I supposed to trust any of you?"  
  
"You don't have to. But you can trust me, you know I wouldn't-" she said, but her voice caught at the end of the sentence.  
  
He shook his head. "I can't have this. I can't have your people around mine. Yeah, this time it was only a dagger. But it was placed under your pillow. I can't have sabotage and-and deceit. I won't tolerate that. You have to leave" he said, looking away.

She felt fear and desperation clawing at her chest.  
  
"But I-I don't want to go" she said, her voice quiet and a little whiny.  
  
"I don't want you to go" he said, turning to face her.  
  
"So don't make us. Don't make me..." she whispered. And before she really knew what she was doing, she grabbed his hand. A little cautiouslly, at first. But when he didn't pull away, she laced her fingers through his. For a moment she was overwhelmed by how much smaller her hand was, how much softer.  
  
"Clarke..."  
  
"You don't have to trust them. But you can trust me..."  
  
"What am I supposed to do? Let it go? Do you have any idea what my people, what your people would think of me?"  
  
"I can't speak for anyone else. But it'd only make me think of you as...as kind, and forgiving. And I know you're both, you've showed me that already. But please don't...don't let one person make you turn your back on all of us. They're good people, Bellamy. And we're so grateful for everything you've done for us. You have to believe me..."  
  
She was still holding his hand.  
  
"I do, Clarke. I believe you...that's not the issue. Your people...I can't-"  
  
It was a lost cause. She could see that he'd already made his mind up. But still, she didn't let go of his hand.  
  
"I-I understand" she said after a while. She felt like crying. Tears pooled in her eyes. The thought of going back...

He sighed again.  
  
"I'm sorry" he said, giving her hand a little squeeze.  
  
"I know" she whispered.  
  
They stood in silence for a few minutes, looking past the village. Still holding hands.  
  
"Thank you, for what you've done for us" she whispered. He turned to look at her, but she couldn't meet his eye. "I-I'm sorry for how this has turned out..."  
  
She finally pulled her hand from his, "I won't forget this" she said, finally looking back at him.  
  
He sighed. She turned to walk away but he grabbed her hand again.  
  
"If-if I let you stay, it'll be different. You people will be under constant surveillance until I find out who's behind this. And once I do...I won't be kind, or forgiving. Can you accept that?" he said.  
  
She thought about it. She knew that whoever it was would most certainly pay with their life. But if they went back...  
  
"I can" she said, meeting his gaze.  
  
"Alright. Then stay. I want you to stay."  
  
She couldn't believe he was actually saying that. She couldn't believe he'd let them stay. She couldn't believe he wanted _her_ to stay.  
  
She nodded, not looking away. Something about the way he was looking back at her made the air between them thick. She found it a little hard to breathe. And she felt as if every single nerve in her body caught on fire in that very moment.  
  
He cleared his throat and let go of her hand.

"Go back to your people, tell them what you want. I'm going to my room. I don't think I can face them without doing something violent, so..."  
  
"Okay" she said, nodding.  
  
He walked away without another word. She stayed on the bridge for a few more minutes, trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened.  
  
Eventually, she made her way back to the throne room.  
  
Octavia raised an eyebrow at her, but when she didn't see Bellamy behind her, understanding washed over the girl and she got up and left the room.  
  
The others looked to Clarke, their expressions ranging from scared to hopeful.  
  
"He's letting us stay" she said. And everyone in the room exhaled at the same time. Like they'd been holding their breath. "But things will be different from now on" she added before leaving.  
  
She made her way up to her room and got in bed. Her spot felt a little sinister, after what had happened. But she wouldn't have to be there much longer.  
  
She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she had a pretty good idea of who had done it. There was only one person who wanted to leave badly enough to risk all of their lives.  
  
_Finn._  
  
As soon as she had the thought, she knew she was right.

But what scared her more than anything was the fact that she'd kept it to herself. If the others found out...If Bellamy found out that she knew but didn't tell him....  
  
_I want you to stay._  
  
It was the last thought she had before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotta say I'm a little surprised by the reaction to this fic, since it just kind of randomly came to me but I am super, SUPER grateful for all the wonderful feedback I've gotten. I will definitely see this through.
> 
> I know many of you have questioned why Bellamy would want this, and I promise that will be revealed. With that being said, I'll be dropping a few hints at what his angle is in all of this until it's revealed. Maybe some of you guys know already? Either way, I'm excited!
> 
> Any and all mistakes are my own. Thanks for reading :) <3


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, when Clarke woke, the first thing she noticed was the guard standing by the door of their room, looking down at them.  
  
The fact that it was a young female guard only made her feel a little better.  
  
He had said that they would be under constant surveillance from now on.  
  
And they were.  
  
The guards followed them to the throne room, to the training room, to the bathroom. Everywhere. Even if they went outside.   
  
If they went separate ways, other guards would be called and they'd each have an escort. There were extra guards in the throne room, watching them as they ate. There were another three extra guards in the training room. Their eyes never leaving the Sky People.  
  
It drove Clarke a little crazy. It made everyone else feel on edge, too. But every time she wanted to scream at the guards to _leave her alone_ , she decided against it. She had said that she would be okay with it. And the fact that he was letting them stay....okay so, they could deal with the extra security.  
  
A few days after the 'incident', Clarke and Raven decided to take a stroll through the garden. The sun was setting and they had to be back in the throne room shortly, but they sat down on the bench and studied the scenery for a few minutes.  
  
"This place is pretty" Raven said, reaching over to pluck a flower from one of the bushes.  
  
Clarke nodded in agreement.  
  
Their guard was standing a few feet away from them, his presence making them not comfortable enough to talk about what they actually wanted to talk about.

"Excuse me?" Clarke said, she figured it was worth a try. "Do you mind...leaving us for a bit? You don't have to go very far, but we'd really like some privacy."  
  
"Of course, my lady" the guard said. Raven and Clarke looked at each other. _What the hell? Was that all I had to say? Why is he agreeing_?  
  
Either way, Clarke and Raven took the opportunity to talk. They kept their voices low, almost whispering. This was the first time they'd gotten to talk in private since the night the dagger went missing.  
  
"It was Finn...wasn't it?" Raven whispered.  
  
Clarke nodded. "I think so."  
  
"Have you talked to him?"   
  
"I haven't really had the opportunity. But I'm going to try to, tonight."  
  
"What are you gonna do, Clarke? I mean...if Bellamy finds out...if he finds out that you knew and didn't say anything..." she doesn't finish the sentence.  
  
Clarke swallows the bile rising in her throat. She knew. If Bellamy found out that she had known, then he would never trust her again. He'd know she was deceitful, that she was a liar. And he would definitely throw them out.  
  
"Maybe you should tell him" Raven whispers.  
  
"But what about Finn? I mean...he'll get sent back. And that's the best case scenario" Clarke whispers back.

"I know. But he made his bed. Maybe he should lie in it" Raven said. The tone in her voice was cold. Clarke couldn't believe she was actually saying that.  
  
"Do you really mean that?" Clarke said, searching Raven's eyes.  
  
Raven sighed. "No...no, I don't mean it. But what if he does something worse next time? And what if Bellamy gets tired of giving us the benefit of the doubt? Then we're all gonna suffer because of him."  
  
Clarke knew that Raven was right. But she at least had to try and talk to Finn.  
  
That night, Bellamy didn't come to dinner. They hadn't really spoken since the night he told her to stay. She was kind of happy about that. The thought of talking to him made her nervous for a variety of reasons.  
  
A lot of people were drunk. She knew they must be close to the wedding, but she pushed those thoughts aside and grabbed Finns hand. To his surprise, she led him to the center of the room to dance. Raven knew what was going on, so she grabbed a few people and joined them so that Clarke and Finn wouldn't be the center of attention, so they could talk without being overheard.  
  
Finn looked genuinely happy, if a little surprised.  
  
"What's gotten in to you?" he asks, twirling her around and around.  
  
Clarke lets out a laugh, pretending she's a little drunk before she pulls him closer.  
  
"I know it was you" she whispers.  
  
He looks taken aback. His eyes widen. Totally and completely guilty. "Clarke-"

"Don't say anything. It doesn't matter. I know you did it. And I know why. But Finn, you could have gotten us all killed. We want to stay. I want to stay. Isn't that enough for you?"   
  
"But Clarke...I did it, I did it for you-"  
  
That pisses her off. She knows good and well that the only person he did it for was himself.  
  
"So that you won't have to marry him. Clarke he's-"  
  
"Shut up, Finn. If you care about me, you'll shut the hell up and never speak of this again. I'm putting everything on the line for you. I'm not going to tell the king. But if he finds out you did that...and worse, if he finds out that I knew...." for some reason, she didn't think it was a good idea to tell him that. But it was too late to take it back.  
  
"Finn, listen to me. If you love me, if you love all of us, then you'll stop. Don't do anything like that ever again, okay?" she whispered.  
  
"Okay" he said back. And she felt relieved. So, so relieved. He had finally understood. "I love you, Clarke."  
  
She just looked at him for a few moments before pulling away, heading back to the table. She felt a little guilty, but she couldn't say it back. She didn't love him. She had been infatuated by him, by the earth. He made her feel....light. But the things she didn't like about him had overpowered those she did.   
  
Cautiously, she made her way to the front of the room and stood below the table, looking up at Octavia.   
  
"Hey um, where's Bellamy?" she asked.  
  
Octavia smirked. _Why is this family so infuriating?_

"It's tradition not to see one another for a few nights before the wedding" Octavia said.  
  
"Few nights?" Clarke said, a little shocked. She knew the wedding was close, but hearing the words from Octavia's mouth made her panic a little.  
  
"Three more days and you'll be the queen."  
  
"Oh, um. Okay then."  
  
"But Bellamy's a rule breaker. A rebel. So if you really want to see him, you could probably find him in his quarters" Octavia said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Clarke blushed. "No, no. It's fine. I just, I had just wanted to talk to him" she stammers.  
  
Octavia was still smirking when Clarke decided to walk away.  
  
The next morning Clarke left breakfast early and spent the whole day outside in the garden, drawing. Raven had joined her before dinner time. They spread a blanket in the grass underneath a huge tree. They ate apples and Clarke drew a picture of Raven in her new sketchbook.  
  
They studied it for a little while after she was done. She'd drawn Raven exactly how she looked right now; laying on the blanket with her hair fanned out above her, down for a change. Clarke love the drawing. Raven's face looked so...peaceful. She couldn't remember the last time she looked like that.  
  
Eventually they made their way to the throne room for dinner. The castle had been cleaned and decorated. It had a cheery feel to it. Well, as cheery as a dark and gloomy castle could be.  
  
They sat down and ate with their friends. Clarke was so focused on eating that she missed most of the conversation until the giggling made it's way down to her.

"So how do you feel about that, Clarke?" Finn asked, a few seats down. A few people giggled.  
  
"I'm sorry? Feel about what?" she asked.  
  
"How do you feel about the fact that your future husband is fucking someone else right now?" Finn said. His voice sounded...proud. Like he'd been right all along.  
  
"I don't care" Clarke said. She could feel herself blushing.  
  
"Well you can't blame the man" she heard someone say, "I guess he'll have to commit to her when they really do this. So he's probably just enjoying his freedom while he still can."  
  
"I wish he'd enjoy his freedom with me" one of the girls said. People laughed. They continued to talk about it.  
  
Clarke felt embarrassed. They were acting like she wasn't even here. She felt pissed off, too. And a small part of her actually felt a little hurt.  
  
"So what about you? Or is the only one who can have some fun?" Finn asked. He was actually smiling. Like the whole situation was something to be happy about. And maybe for him, it was.  
  
"I can have fun. But unfortunately, I haven't found anyone I'd actually like to have _fun_ with" she said, narrowing her eyes.   
  
A few people laughed. Finn looked hurt. _Good._  
  
She excused herself and walked back to her room, alone. For some reason, she was the only person the guards didn't follow nearly as much as the others.

She wasn't sure why she felt so hurt by what she heard. A part of her was glad. Glad that he'd get it out of his system. Hopefully then he wouldn't have expectations, where she was concerned. She sighed. _Just get over it._   
  
For the first time in a while, she thought about her parents. She wished that her mother was here. But she was most likely dead.   
  
She laid in bed for a while. When she heard the other girls coming into the room, she pretended like she was asleep. She didn't feel like talking. Especially to people who laughed at her, even after everything she'd done for them.   
  
The next morning, Clarke skipped training and went to the bridge. She leaned over the edge, balancing her sketchbook on the sill. It was dark and cloudy outside. A light rain had began to fall. She realized it was the first time it had rained since they had arrived.   
  
It matched her mood.  
  
After a couple of hours, she heard someone making their way towards her. She looked to her left and saw Bellamy. Her breathing hitched and she willed herself to calm down. She was too nervous and she wasn't really even sure why.  
  
"Hey" he said, coming up to stand next to her. He looked down at her drawing, and before she knew it, she was closing the book and pulling it against her chest.   
  
"Hey" she said back, still clutching the book to her chest. It was a little ridiculous, but her drawings were private. The only person she let look was Raven, and that was mostly because she'd drawn her. "I thought you weren't supposed to see me for a few days?"  
  
"Yeah well, that's just an old tradition. I'm not really one to follow all the rules" he said, smiling a little.

"Yeah I can tell" she said.  
  
"Is that so?" he said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
She nodded, looking straight ahead.  
  
"So have you changed your mind?" he said.  
  
"What? No, of course not. What makes you say that?"  
  
"Nothing really, just curious."  
  
They stood in silence for a few minutes. For some reason, it didn't feel like it did before. Clarke was pretty sure that it was because she was hiding something. She hoped that he couldn't tell.  
  
"Why did you want us to come here?" she asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why did you convince the Commander to send us here? Why did you want us to come here, to your kingdom?"  
  
"Well, I'd heard the stories. Warriors from the sky. But honestly, it was mostly because I was curious. It's not every day that people fall from the sky" he said, leaning against the railing, his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"So...curiosity?"  
  
"Pretty much."

_Wow_. She thought about it. It didn't seem like a valid enough reason.  
  
"You must have been pretty disappointed" she said, thinking back to how awful they had looked when they had arrived.  
  
"I was" he said, "at first."  
  
"And now?" she peeked up at him. He was already looking at her.  
  
"Now I'm slightly less disappointed" he said, fighting a smile.  
  
"You're a jackass" she said, but she was fighting a smile too.  
  
"And you? Were you disappointed?"  
  
"Not at all. In fact, it's the exact opposite of what I was expecting. Which is a-a good thing. Really good" she said. After that she blushed a little.   
  
"I'm glad you feel that way."  
  
She didn't know what to say to that.  
  
"Is something wrong?" he asked.  
  
"No-no" she said, quickly. Too quickly. She didn't want to seem guilty, but based on the way he was looking at her..."I mean, I'm just nervous about the wedding."  
  
"Why?" he asked, buying it. And it wasn't a total lie. She was nervous.  
  
"I guess it's because I don't really know what to expect" she said.  
  
"It's nothing to worry yourself over" he said, "just a ceremony."  
  
 _Right. Just a ceremony. And our whole lives._  
  
He must've been thinking the same thing.  
  
"If it's the marriage you're worried about...I won't...I mean, I hope you know that I'd never force you to do anything you don't want to do. You can continue living like this, like you have been. I'm not going to expect you to be at my side all the time, or something. Yeah, you'll be married to me but your life will still be your own. You know that, right?" he said.   
  
He seemed a little nervous. She'd never seen him nervous before. It was humbling.  
  
"I know" she said, smiling at him, "but thank you for saying that."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Well, I've got a few things to take care of so...I'll leave you to it."   
  
He walked past her and she watched him go. Yeah she had to have an arranged marriage, but she could have done a lot worse.

* * *

 

The next night, Clarke's nerves were at an all time high. Even though Bellamy had reassured her that she wouldn't have to do anything she didn't want to, the idea of marrying him made her so anxious she'd barely slept the night before.  
  
 _Tomorrow, I get married. Tomorrow, I'll be the queen._  
  
They were having a party of sorts that night. Everyone was chatting excitedly about the wedding, even her friends. It was like they'd forgotten that the marriage was arranged and that it was one of the conditions.  
  
Tables were set up in the open meadow just past the garden, they would be celebrating there tomorrow night. But since everything was already set up, a lot of people were there tonight, drinking, talking under the stars.  
  
After dinner, Clarke noticed that quite a few of her friends left to join the party in the clearing. She and Raven decided to join them. There was quite a crowd. And as far as Clarke could tell, most of the people there were in their age group, some a little older.   
  
They made their way to one of the tables. Jasper and Monty were playing some sort of drinking game.  
  
"Clarke!" Jasper yelled, "Want some moonshine? It's been forever!"  
  
"Where the hell did you guys get moonshine?" Raven asks, sitting down on one of the chairs.  
  
"Bellamy let me make some" Monty answered.  
  
Clarke and Raven shared a cup. It burned their throats and lit their stomachs on fire. Most of their friends were already pretty drunk.

After a while, Clarke felt a little buzzed and a lot more relaxed than she had been the past few days. She contemplated asking Monty to save her a cup for the morning. But she figured she should probably be sober for her own wedding.  
  
They sat around, under the night sky. Everything just felt so right to Clarke in that moment. That's what their lives should be like. They should be getting drunk together, having fun. Not worrying about dying or being killed, like they had been the past few months.   
  
People got up to dance, and Clarke felt a little surprised when she saw Octavia and Bellamy at the center of the group. The way they move together made it seem like they'd danced together a lot. And despite the fact that they looked different from one another, Clarke could see the ways in which they were the same. The light in their eyes, the grace with which they moved, the sharp angles of their jaws, the way they both commanded attention without having to ask for it.  
  
Clarke watched them from afar. They were so different from the people they usually were. Tonight they were carefree, happy even. Like two young adults and not two people who led a kingdom.  
  
Octavia looked up and found Clarke staring, so she quickly looked away and started a conversation with Raven. But about a minute later, she felt someone sit down next to her. She turned and saw Bellamy. Octavia right behind him.  
  
"Wanna dance?" Octavia asked, looking at Raven.   
  
Raven looked a little surprised. She made eye contact with Clarke before nodding and getting up.  
  
 _Why does she keep doing that? I've obviously got to remind her when it isn't appropriate to leave me alone!_  
  
"So, having fun?" Bellamy said, kind of smiling.

Clarke looked back at him. His cheeks were flushed. His eyes were glassy and a little hooded. He was drunk. He was really drunk.  
  
"Are you drunk?" she asked, fighting a smile.  
  
"Perhaps a little" he said, smiling.  
  
"Well, you should drink more often. You're not nearly as scary" she said, teasing him.  
  
"You think I'm scary?" he asked, getting more serious.  
  
"Sometimes. But you are the king, after all. Isn't that what kings are supposed to be like? Don't you want people to be afraid of you?"  
  
"People, yes. But not you" he said, looking at her in a way that made the hairs on her arms stand up.  
  
"Oh" she said. It was the only thing she could think of.  
  
Just then, Finn sauntered over. He was pretty drunk too, if his stumbling was anything to go by. Clarke felt uneasy. She wasn't sure what he might let slip. Alcohol tends to loosen the tongue, and whatnot.  
  
"Clarke! Dance with me" he said, putting his arm out.  
  
To her surprise, Bellamy didn't say anything. He just looked at her.  
  
"Um, maybe later. I don't really feel like dancing right now" she said.  
  
"Oh come on! Just one dance" he said, "you're not married just yet."

That made her angry. He had basically made it seem like she wasn't allowed to or something.  
  
"If I wanted to dance, Finn, I'd be dancing. But I'm not, and I don't want to. So I suggest you find someone else to dance with" she said.  
  
He looked a little hurt. And part of her felt bad. But she wasn't going to be talked to in that manner, she wasn't going to be put down.  
  
"I really fucking hate that guy" Bellamy slurred once Finn had left. "Seriously....I can almost, almost deal with all of you. Except for him."  
  
"And why's that?"  
  
"He's a prick."  
  
Clarke laughed a little. It wasn't a very good explanation, but it summed it up.  
  
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't dance with him later" he said.  
  
"Excuse me?" Clarke asked, a little offended.  
  
"Relax, Clarke. I only said I'd appreciate it if you didn't. Not that you couldn't. As I've said, you are free to do as you please. That was just a personal request" he said, smirking at her.  
  
"That's funny, coming from you" she said before she could stop herself.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.  
  
He was drunk. She was a little tipsy. She figured (hoped) that maybe he wouldn't remember this in the morning, and if he did, she hoped he'd decide it was because of the alcohol.

"You're telling me that you'd appreciate it if I didn't dance with him...and yet you're the one sleeping with other women?"  
  
He looked taken aback.  
  
"How do you know that?" he asked.  
  
A part of her had hoped that he'd deny it, for some reason.  
  
"People talk. I hear things" she said.  
  
"Oh well, I didn't think you'd care. Or mind."  
  
"Well I guess I didn't think you'd care -or mind- if I danced with other people."  
  
"And what makes you say that? I think I've done a pretty good job of letting you know that I mind."  
  
"And I haven't?"  
  
 _Why...why the hell did I just say that...._  
  
"Not exactly. No."  
  
"Yeah well...I mean, you are the king, but if we really are getting married...I...I don't feel comfortable...." she stammered, her face turning red. _Oh god. Stop talking._  
  
"Hey Clarke! Want to dance?" a boy, Sterling, asked from across the table. Clarke shook her head no, but she was silently grateful for the fact that he'd interrupted their conversation.

"Wow, you certainly are popular. Does everyone want to dance with you?" Bellamy asked, a smile on his face.  
  
She laughed. "Guess so. Why? You jealous?" she asked. _Why the fuck did I just say that???_  
  
"Yeah" he said, getting up "I am, actually."  
  
He went to another table. The people there looked like they were his friends, if their attitudes were anything to go by.  
  
 _Oh god. He just said he was jealous?_  
  
Clarke didn't really know what was going on. Why she was flirting with her future husband. Why she kept looking at him.  
  
Eventually she got up and danced with her friends. She drank some more moonshine, hoping that it'd help her fall asleep at the end of the night.   
  
When it was time to go inside, she was stumbling a little. So was Raven.  
  
Octavia and Bellamy walked with them. They were both very, very drunk but they weren't stumbling.  
  
They kept poking and shoving at one another, picking fights. Teasing one another.  
  
Clarke and Raven enjoyed the show. Eventually all three girls ganged up on Bellamy. They teased him, poked and pinched him. 

Raven went inside the room as soon as they'd reached it. Octavia went right past it, heading to her own room. Clarke lingered by the door, Bellamy leaned against the wall next to her.  
  
"So...the next time I see you, we'll be getting married" he said.  
  
Her heart rate sped up as she nodded.  
  
"Calm down, I can't handle all your excitement" he said, rolling his eyes.  
  
A smile played at Clarke's lips. "Sorry" she said.  
  
"It's okay. I know it's not ideal, not what you pictured for yourself but who knows? Maybe I'll surprise you."  
  
"Well, you kind of already have, so..."  
  
He smiled at her.  
  
"See you tomorrow night. Wear something pretty" he said, standing up straight.  
  
"Goodnight, Bellamy" she said, and suddenly she had the urge to give him a kiss on the cheek. So she did. She half-hoped that he wouldn't remember it in the morning.  
  
"Goodnight, Clarke" he said, smiling at her one last time before walking away.

* * *

 

Clarke woke to someone lightly shaking her shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry, my lady, but I'm afraid that you have to get up now" an older woman said. Clarke looked around the room. She was the only person still in bed. The rest of the girls must have woken up earlier.  
  
Clarke glanced at the window and noticed that the sun was well into the sky.  
  
She'd slept late. Really late. Probably because of the moonshine. But luckily, she wasn't hungover.  
  
She got out of bed and followed the older woman through the castle. They went into a room Clarke was unfamiliar with.  
  
There were a few other girls in there, she recognized them but they were all Bellamy's people. A girl who looked a little older than Clarke came forward.  
  
"My lady, we've brought some food for you. Why don't you eat before we set your bath up?" she asked.  
  
Clarke just nodded and the girl led her to a table that had food on it.  
  
Clarke picked at a few things, but she felt too nervous to eat. When her bath was ready, she got in and they let her soak for a while.   
  
She was handed a cloth and a nice smelling bar of soap. While she washed her body, another girl washed her hair.

One woman gave Clarke a razor and she shaved for the first time in a long time. Despite the fact that she knew it was because they were preparing her wedding, it made Clarke happy.   
  
Eventually, they rinsed her and dried her hair. They gave her something like a thin robe to wrap herself in.  
  
While her hair dried, they cut her nails.  
  
Afterwards, they left her alone for about an hour. She was pretty sure that they wanted her to stay in the room, so she did. She tried to eat again.   
  
The women came back and started on her hair. Her hair was left down, but they braided the sides and brought them together to make one braid at the back. A few strands fell down her face and she left them there, trying not to tuck them behind her ear. The hairstyle was pretty. Elegant.  
  
To her surprise, one girl applied a little makeup on Clarke. Just on her eyelashes and top lids. Clarke didn't get up to look in the mirror, not just yet.  
  
Before she knew it, the sun had started setting. She wished that she really had asked Monty to save her a cup of moonshine. At least then she wouldn't be so nervous. She felt like she would vomit at any moment.  
  
One of the ladies came forward with some fabric in her hands. She handed it to Clarke. Clarke looked at it, and for a second, she was mortified.  
  
The item the woman had handed her could only be described as lingerie.  
  
"Wha-what is this?" Clarke asked.

"It's what you'll be wearing under the dress, my lady" she answered. A few of the younger girls snickered.  
  
Clarke obliged. She put it on, but she couldn't look in the mirror. She couldn't even look down at her body.  
  
When they brought the dress in, Clarke gaped at it.  
  
She didn't know a lot about weddings, but she was pretty sure that wedding dresses weren't supposed to be black.  
  
But she remembered how Bellamy's king ensemble had been all black too, so maybe that was their thing here?  
  
Two of the women help Clarke put the dress on. It was surprising light weight. The straps were thick on her shoulders, what kind of meterial they had used to make it, she didn't know. The bodice of the dress was tight, but it flared out at the waist. The back of the dress trailed behind her, all sheer and silky.  
  
Clarke finally turned to look at herself. The girl...the woman she saw looking back looked like a queen.  
  
The makeup they'd put on her eyes was black. It made her blue eyes much, much brighter. Clarke had forgotten how blue her eyes were. Her hairstyle left her face exposed. She looked down and saw that the dress fit her body better than anything else she'd ever worn. The curves that she'd had before had returned, filling the dress out. The dress had a plunging neck line, stopping just bellow her xiphoid process.  
  
She knew she'd been staring at herself for too long. But she couldn't help it.  
  
She looked like a leader.

She turned to face the women in the room. They were all staring at her, every single one of them. Their expressions ranged from awe to admiration to possibly even jealousy. After a few minutes, Clarke started to feel a little uncomfortable.  
  
"Are we finished?" she said.  
  
"Oh" one of the ladies said, like Clarke had broken some sort of trance they were all in. "Yes, my lady. I believe we are ready."  
  
One of the younger girls left. The others made no move to leave, so Clarke stayed put.  
  
Eventually, the girl came back. "It's time" she said.  
  
Clarke willed her legs to move, but suddenly they felt like they'd turned to lead.  
  
"My lady" the girl repeated, "it's time."  
  
Clarke took a deep breath and followed the women out of the room. When they reached the doors to the throne room, they were closed. The ladies who'd come with her moved to the side and placed Clarke right in front of the two doors.  
  
 _Oh god, I'm going to throw up_ , she thought as one of the guards knocked on the door. She'd be entering alone.  
  
The doors opened. She stood in the doorway, taking in the scene before her.  
  
The people at the tables, the guests, were all standing at the two sides. Her path to the front of the room was clear. Every single one of them turned to look at her.  
  
Her eyes moved to the front of the room. A man in a black cloak stood on the elevated portion of the back of the room. Bellamy stood to the mans left, right below him. 

Clarke moved because she knew she had to.  
  
Every single pair of eyes in the room followed her as she made her way to the front.  
  
When she got to the front of the room, she took her place across from Bellamy because she knew she should. The room was so quiet she could hear her heart pounding in her ears.  
  
The man standing above them began talking and for a few minutes, Clarke couldn't really process what he was saying.  
  
She looked at Bellamy, who was looking right back at her. Bellamy, with his black attire and his black crown. His facial expression gave nothing away. _Is he nervous?_ She couldn't tell.   
  
"...Shall return" the man said, Clarke finally focusing on listening to him.  
  
Suddenly, every person in the room dropped to their knees, bowing before the two of them.  
  
"I shall bow before no one but my queen" Bellamy said. And to Clarke's surprise, he got down on both knees. He looked at her expectantly, dropping his eyes to the ground, silently telling her to do the same.  
  
She did. He gave her a little nod, like _now you go._  
  
"I shall bow before no one but my king" she said, somehow knowing that that's what she was supposed to say.

"Join hands" the man above them said. Bellamy reached forward and grabbed both of Clarke's hands.

"Wilt though have this woman to thy wedded wife, wilt thee love her, and honor her, keep her and guard her, in health and in sickness, as a husband should a wife, and forsaking all others on account of her, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?" the man said, looking at Bellamy.  
  
"I shall" he said.  
  
"And wilt though have this man to thy wedded husband, wilt thee love him, and honor him, keep him and guard him, in health and in sickness, as a wife should a husband, and forsaking all others on account of him, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?" he asked, now looking at Clarke.  
  
"I shall" she said, and she thanked whatever god or gods there were that her voice came out strong and steady. The complete opposite of what she felt.  
  
Bellamy leaned forward, so Clarke did the same. At first she thought that he was going in for a kiss, but instead he placed his forehead on hers.  
  
"I know pronounce thee husband and wife" the man said. He walked down the few steps until he was standing right in front of them. "And I pronounce thee, Clarke Griffin Blake, queen of the Badlands" he said, placing what must've been a crown on top of Clarke's head. "Long may she reign" the man said.  
  
"Long may she reign" the people in the room repeated.  
  
Bellamy pulled back, so Clarke did the same. Her eyes had closed as soon as he'd placed his forehead against hers. She opened them, meeting Bellamy's gaze.  
  
"Long may she reign" he repeated. His tone was serious but his eyes were playful.  
  
He leaned in and kissed her. It was chaste, more of a peck on the lips, but it took Clarke by surprise. By the time she realized what he was doing, he'd already pulled back.  
  
He was the first person to stand.   
  
He placed his hand in front of her, and when she took it, he pulled her up.  
  
A second later, everyone else rose to their feet.  
  
Bellamy turned to the crowd and gave them a nod. With that, the whole room erupted in cheers. People began clapping.  
  
Bellamy nodded towards the stairs behind Clarke before turning and going up the ones on the left. She was pretty sure that's what she was supposed to do the same, so she did.  
  
There were two chairs behind his table, and they both sat down at the same time. Everyone else was still cheering, hugging, laughing.  
  
"See, that wasn't so bad" Bellamy said, low enough for Clarke to be the only person that could hear him. "And you didn't even embarrass me" he said, smirking at her.  
  
And it was so ridiculous that Clarke couldn't stop herself from letting out a little laugh. It sounded a little hysterical, even to her.  
  
He smiled back at her, and that was that.  
  
 _Holy shit. That-that's it?_   
  
It had passed by so fast that Clarke couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that the ceremony was actually over. 

She grabbed a glass of wine and chugged it, hoping that no one was watching.  
  
It was weird, sitting at the front of the room. She was so used to sitting at the table, watching Bellamy and Octavia from below.   
  
While they ate, different people came up and offered their congratulations, their presents. Clarke nodded, mumbled 'thanks' and tried to make her face as impassive as possible. Really, she felt uncomfortable. Really, she wanted to run out of the room. But she didn't. She wasn't sure why people were giving her presents, but she thought it best not to ask. Not just yet, anyway.  
  
After what felt like hours, and a thousand 'thank yous', people stopped coming up to the front. They talked among themselves. They ate and drank. Clarke was grateful.   
  
After dinner, they made their way into the gardens.  
  
They spent the rest of the night outside under the stars. There was music and dancing, but Clarke stayed glued to her chair. Everything had been moving so fast, the night passing quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to go inside.   
  
"We have to leave first" Bellamy says, putting his hand out for her to take. "The others will wait. Once we're gone, they can stay or they can leave. But we have to leave first. Unless you'd like to stay a little while longer?"  
  
Clarke took his hand. There was no way she wanted to stay any longer than necessary. But to her horror, people actually started to cheer once they got up. 

She could hear them cheering all the way back to the castle. She cringed. She'd been so focused, so worried about the ceremony that she hadn't really thought about what happened afterwards. Or what was supposed to happen, anyway.  
  
He led her to his quarters, and when the guards opened the doors, he finally spoke up. "After you" he said.  
  
Clarke went inside and he followed, closing the door behind him.  
  
She looked around, she'd been there once before, but she had stayed on the couch.  
  
"Let me show you around" Bellamy said.  
  
He led her from the doorway into the room she'd been in that night, when she'd accepted his proposal. It was huge; a lot bigger than the room she shared with the other girls. There was the little couch in the center of the room, a small table in front of it. The room was nice. There were a few shelved fixtures pushed against the left wall packed with books and other things. To Clarke's surprise, there were a few paintings hanging on the walls. Another chandelier full of candles hung from the ceiling. The right wall had two glass doors leading to a balcony.  
  
He led her through the door located in the back of the first room. They ended up in the bedroom, which was even bigger than the first room. Clarke took a look around. The first thing her eyes landed on was the bed pushed up against the north wall. Needless to say, it was big. It reminded Clarke of the bed's she'd seen in old fairytale books. Sheer black fabric hung in a canopy from top, surrounding the bed on all sides.  
  
She looked away.

"Your stuff in on the left side" Bellamy said, pointing to what looked like a huge dresser and a vanity table pushed up against the left wall. _My stuff? What stuff?_ Besides the clothes she'd been given, and her sketchbook, Clarke didn't own anything.  
  
The right side looked similar to the left. Clarke assumed that his _stuff_ would be there. There was a loveseat in the center of the room. A beautiful white furry carpet on rested between the loveseat and the fireplace at the south wall. Another chandelier hung above them.  
  
"The bathroom is through here" Bellamy said opening a door on Clarke's left. She peeked inside for a second. The only thing she really took in was the huge round tub sitting right bellow a window.  
  
His chambers were nice. Really nice. Clarke was pretty sure she'd never been in a nicer place.  
  
He walked to his side of the room and took his crown off, placing it on a little pillar with a red pillow on top of it. She looked to the left and saw that there was a matching pillar for hers as well.  
.  
"Look around if you'd like" he said, starting to take his clothes off. "But I'm going to bed."  
  
Clarke nodded, looking away.  
  
"Um...is-is there anything I can change into?" she asked. There was no way she was taking that dress off if she didn't have anything to cover the lingerie under the dress with.  
  
"Find something in your dresser" he said from behind her.

She placed her crown on the pillar and opened the doors to her dresser. She tried not to gasp when she saw that it was full of clothes. Dresses, shirts, pants of all colors and materials. She ran her hand over the clothes. Pretty. Too pretty. The floor of the dresser was lined with different kinds of shoes.  
  
There were two drawers at the bottom and she couldn't stop herself from opening them and peeking inside. More clothes. But these looked less proper, more like bedroom wear. A few pieces made her cringe, all lacy and short. She searched until she came upon a simple white nightgown. _Decent enough_ , she thought. At least it would cover all of the areas she wanted covered.  
  
She picked it up and went to the bathroom to change.   
  
Her hands shook as she carefully took the dress off. Once she'd put the nightgown on, she tiptoed back to the room. She put her dress and the undergarment she'd been wearing across the chair at the vanity table.  
  
She looked back to the bed and noticed that Bellamy was already laying in it, his back to her. _Thank god,_ she thought, looking at his bare back. The covers came up to his waist and she silently prayed that he wasn't naked.  
  
Not that it mattered. He'd made it clear that he didn't have any expectations, despite the fact that they were now husband and wife.   
  
She walked towards the bed. There was a part in the canopy at the foot of the bed, and she crawled in as slowly and discreetly as possible. She moved to the left side, lying as close to the edge as possible. She brought the covers up to her neck. 

The room was lit by the candles on the chandelier, but it was still dim enough, especially under the black canopy, for her to at least consider trying to sleep.   
  
She couldn't believe it was over. She was the queen. _The fucking queen! Of a kingdom! And a wife!_   
  
It didn't feel real. She still felt like the same person she'd been that morning. Wasn't she supposed to feel different? Powerful or something? Less scared?  
  
She didn't.  
  
Eventually she heard Bellamy's breathing even, and she knew he was asleep. She turned to peek at his back in the dim lighting.  
  
She never, ever thought she'd be here, in this position. Maybe that's why none of it felt real. She looked above her, past the wooden headboard of the bed to the sword hanging on the wall. It was beautifully crafted, shiny. Unlike any sword she'd ever seen before. Why was it hanging there? What was it's significance? It must've been important, for it to be hanging above the kings bed. She decided she'd ask him about it tomorrow.  
  
She turned back to face the wall. _How the hell is he sleeping already? Wasn't he...nervous or anxious or anything?_  
  
She sighed. It was done. It was over. She thought about how the night had gone, and really, it went much smoother than she'd expected. She couldn't remember why she'd been so anxious.   
  
When she woke the next morning, he was already gone.

She was glad. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to him, how to talk to him, now that they were married.  
  
She cleaned up in the bathroom and went back into the room to look for something to wear before leaving the castle. She wasn't sure if there was a certain way she should dress now, now that she was the queen. But she figured the clothes in her dresser were placed there for a reason, that they were appropriate. She picked out a pretty teal tunic and a pair of tan pants. She found a pair of boots and laced them up. Finally, she undid the braids from the night before and put her hair in it's usual style.   
  
On her way to the throne room, every person she passed bowed their head in greeting. She tried to smile and nod in acknowledgement. Hopefully she'd get used to this, because right now it made her very uncomfortable.  
  
Once she reached the throne room, she started to make her way to her usual spot at the table with her friends, before remembering that it wasn't where she was supposed to sit anymore.  
  
Instead she made her way to the front of the room, annoyed by the fact that everyone was staring at her. Her chair was pushed to the left, making room for Octavia's on the right; Bellamy between the two.  
  
"Hey" he said, watching her as she sat down.  
  
"Hi" she replied, feeling awkward as hell.  
  
"Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Mhm" she said, nodding. _Ugh._   
  
She didn't try to make conversation as she ate. 

Eventually, he got up to leave. Clarke wasn't sure about what she was supposed to do after she ate.  
  
"Is it okay if I go join my friends?" she asked after he got up.  
  
"Of course, Clarke. You don't have to ask me. I've told you, you're free to do as you please. Anything at all. You are the queen, after all" he said, smirking down at her.  
  
She rolled her eyes.  
  
After he left, she made her way to her friends.  
  
"Well, well, well. Look who's come to join us" Raven said, "the queen herself" she teased.  
  
Clarke rolled her eyes and sat down, grateful for Raven's presence.  
  
"Do I have to refer to you as 'my lady' like the rest of them do? Or can I still call you Clarke?" she said, fighting a smile.  
  
"Shut up" Clarke said.  
  
"Now is that any way for a queen to talk?" Jasper asked. Monty and Miller laughed.  
  
"You can shut up too. That's an order" Clarke said, smiling at her friends.  
  
"Now that's more like it!" Jasper yelled. They all laughed again, and Clarke joined in.  
  
"But really, are we supposed to like...be different around you? Because we're not really sure" Jasper said.  
  
"No" Clarke said, shaking her head. "I'm still Clarke, guys. Nothing's really changed. But my title, I guess."

"And the fact that you now have a husband" Finn said, but his tone wasn't playful like the other's had been.  
  
Clarke didn't have anything to say to that.  
  
"So...how was the wedding night?" Miller asked, a mischievous grin on his face.  
  
Clarke felt her cheeks flame. The others giggled, raised their eyebrows in question.  
  
"It was fine" Clarke said.  
  
"Just fine?" Murphy asked, "That must've been a disappointment."  
  
"Nothing happened" Clarke said, glaring at him. "If that's what you're curious about."  
  
"Really? Why?" Murphy said, smirking.  
  
"Because that's-that's not what...what our marriage is like. I did this for you guys. This is purely political. So think about that the next time you want to tease me" Clarke said, serious now.   
  
"Jeez, calm down. We're just having a little fun. You don't seem like his type, anyway" Murphy said, putting his hands up.  
  
"Float yourself" Clarke shot back.   
  
She wasn't sure why that had offended her so much, but it did.  
  
"That's surprising" Finn said.  
  
"What is, exactly?" Clarke asked, already annoyed.

"I'm surprised he didn't force you, or something. But then again, I guess he has others for that" Finn said, smiling at some of the guys at the table.  
  
"And why would you think that? In case you've forgotten, he hasn't forced any of us to do anything. We're here by _choice_ , Finn. Remember that the next time you want to insult the man that's feeding you" she said, her voice cold.  
  
The smile on his face dropped.  
  
"Wow...not even married for a whole day and you're already acting like the model wife."  
  
"Excuse me?" Clarke said, anger building in her chest.   
  
"You're with us now, Clarke. Your friends. You don't have to pretend with us" he said, a questioning look in his eye.  
  
"I'm not pretending, Finn. You're acting like an asshole. And don't talk to me like that."  
  
Everyone else had gone quiet. Even Murphy.  
  
"Are you actually defending him? He-he's dangerous, Clarke."  
  
"As of right now, the only person that poses a threat to us is you, Finn."  
  
"Clarke you-"  
  
"I trust him" she said, tired of the conversation.  
  
"Clarke, you can't be serious?"  
  
"I am" she said, getting up. "And if I trust him, then everyone else should too. Or have you forgotten the fact that _I'm_ in charge?"   
  
He looked like she'd slapped him. It felt good.  
  
After that, she left without another word. Raven caught up to her eventually.  
  
"Not gonna lie...that was pretty badass" Raven said, smirking at Clarke.  
  
Clarke laughed.  
  
They ran into Octavia on their way to the training room.  
  
"My lady" Octavia said, bowing her head. It felt so ridiculous. "Where are you two headed?"  
  
"The training room. Clarke's got some anger she'd like to work off" Raven said, smiling.  
  
"Oh, well I guess I'll join you. When are you leaving?" Octavia asked, looking at Clarke.  
  
"Leaving?" she asked, confused.  
  
"You and Bellamy? The seaside?" Octavia said, just as confused as Clarke.  
  
"What?" Clarke said.  
  
"Oh...uh, sorry I hadn't realized...uh, just forget I asked."

But she couldn't. All through training, she thought about what Octavia had asked. Was there some part of the marriage ceremony that was yet to come? Why hadn't Bellamy said anything? Was he even going to?  
  
Luckily, the people she'd been training with before she was crowned were still willing to train with her. Only now, they didn't tease or laugh at her. They helped her up when she fell.   
  
"My lady" her usual trainer said, extending a hand. He pulled her up and she couldn't help herself.  
  
"My lady?" she said, "What happened to 'you weak creature' and my personal favorite, 'you sky rat'?"  
  
The man actually blushed. "I apologize for how I have acted in the past, my lady. I hope you understand that I meant no harm" he said.  
  
Clarke laughed. It was fun being queen. Making others squirm.  
  
She finished training and decided to skip lunch. She didn't want to sit at the front of the room again, but mostly she didn't want to face her friends after they'd teased her this morning. Instead, she grabbed an apple from the kitchen and made her way to her room.   
  
She had already made it to her old room, the room she'd shared with the other girls, when she remembered that she didn't live there anymore. She sighed and made her way to the kings quarters. And hers, technically.  
  
One of the guards standing by the door greeted her and opened the door. 

She figured she could call for a servant to draw her a bath, but she decided against it. It took a while, but eventually the big tub in the bathroom was half-full of steaming, hot water. Looking around the bathroom, she found a little fixture with bath items on it. Oils, shampoos, soaps, and a bag of sweet smelling potpourri. She stifled a laugh. Did the king actually use this stuff?  
  
Feeling a little smug, she added a little of the woodsy-smelling oil into the water and got in. It reminded her of the smell that clung to Bellamy, and before she knew it, she was blushing a little.  
  
She soaked for a while, letting herself relax.   
  
Suddenly, she heard the door to their room being slammed shut. It must've been Bellamy, no one else would be in there.  
  
She heard him walking around the room.  
  
"Don't-Don't come in here!" she yelled from the bathroom, "It's occupied. I'm not decent."  
  
She could hear him laugh a little before yelling "Okay. Thanks for the warning."  
  
She rolled her eyes. She grabbed one of the extra buckets she'd brought and rinsed herself before getting out. She wrapped herself in a robe and walked out of the bathroom.  
  
He was sitting at his desk, studying a piece of paper.   
  
"What's that?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing" he said. Too quickly. He then folded the paper back up and placed it in one of the drawers. That made Clarke a little suspicious. She made a mental note to search his desk later. Maybe that was a little out of line, but she didn't care. It was obviously something he didn't want her to see. 

He turned to face her.  
  
"So um, Octavia had said something about us leaving? Where are we going?" she asked.  
  
"Oh. Uh. Well, there's this little tradition we have. Something like a 'honeymoon' or whatever. We'd just go to this cottage on the seaside. But...I didn't plan...I mean, I didn't think you'd want to go so..."  
  
"Oh" she said, a little embarrassed.  
  
"Unless you really want to spend a few days away from your people? But I should warn you, we'd be alone."  
  
"No-no. We don't have to. I mean, unless I have to?"  
  
He sighed.   
  
"How many times have I told you that I won't _make_ you do anything?"  
  
"Well I'm still unfamiliar with this whole married-to-a-king thing, so I apologize in advance for not knowing everything" she said, annoyed.  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."  
  
"Do you always have to be such a dick? It was just a question!"  
  
"Do you always have to ask me stupid questions when I've already given you the answers? More than once, might I add."  
  
She narrowed her eyes. _That asshole._

"No. I don't want to go. I doubt I could survive a few days of being around you. I'd probably go mad."  
  
"Not before I did. I only offered because I was being considerate. Trust me, the last thing I want is to be alone with you and that attitude."  
  
"You're such an asshole."  
  
"Duly noted."  
  
He turned back to his table. Clarke scoffed.  
  
She found something to wear and left shortly after that, slamming the door behind her. She walked to the garden and sat down on the bench. She spent the rest of the day sketching.  
  
At dinner, she stayed quiet, not even bother to try and make conversation with him. He ate silently beside her.  
  
She left right after she was done, going to their room. She figured she would have a little time to snoop before he came up. But when she tried to open the drawer at his desk, it was locked. That only made her even more suspicious.   
  
She put on the nightgown she had worn the night before and crawled into bed. As soon as she'd brought the covers up, he came inside.  
  
He went to the bathroom and she tried not to look at him as he made his way to the bed, shirtless again. Thankfully he had pants on.

She was on her side, but she could feel the bed shifting under his weight as he laid down on his back. She could hear him reaching for something. Curiosity got the best of her, and she turned to find him reading a book. He was leaning against the headboard, the book in his lap.  
  
"What are you reading?" she asked.  
  
"A book" he said. "I assume you had those in space?"  
  
 _God, he is so fucking infuriating_.   
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact, we did. I know it's a book, asshole. What is it?"  
  
He lifted it so that she could see the cover, _The Iliad of Homer._  
  
"Oh" she said, turning back around.  
  
It wasn't late. She wasn't sleepy, or tired. But she didn't really want to get up either. She kind of wished that he would leave. But she doubted that he would even if she'd had the nerve to ask.  
  
"Why is that sword hanging there?" she asked, not turning.  
  
"It's an important sword" he said.  
  
She turned to face him.  
  
"Do you have to act like that? Do you have to be such a smartass?"  
  
"But I am. Smart, I mean" he said, smirking at her.

She sighed. "Forget it." _Why am I even trying to talk to him?_  
  
"Okay, okay. I apologize. I was being a smartass before" he said, closing the book. "The sword is hanging above us because it really is an important sword. I used it before I was crowned the king."  
  
"Used it? For what?"  
  
"To kill the king."

"What?"  
  
"I used that sword to kill the man that was king before me" he said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"That's a long story" he said.  
  
"You've already said that. And last time you said you'd tell me. So tell me. Unless you have something better to do?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
He sighed. And to her surprise, he closed the book and put it beside him. He turned to face her, lying on his side. He rested his head on his right hand and began talking.  
  
"I wasn't the kings son. I was...I was a bastard. My mother had me before she married the king. With who? I'm not sure. The king didn't even know I existed" he said.

"The king before me...he was a cruel man. Unjust. Evil, some might say. That's why people talk about this place the way they do. He and his men were banished from the Commanders lands, long ago. They were sent here. But they were resourceful and resilient. They built ships. They lived off of the land."  
  
Clarke was surprised that he was finally telling her. At some point, she had turned to face him, lying on her side. Just as he was.  
  
"They sailed North, South, West. Sometimes East, but rarely. The Commander would've had them executed if she found them on her lands. They raided. They took whatever they wanted. Most of the time, the brought people back with them. Slaves. That's how come this place is populated. My mother was one of the women that had been taken. She became one of the servants in this very castle. She'd already been pregnant when she was taken. Somehow, she kept it a secret and had me. A few days later, she'd payed someone to take me to a village on the other side of this island. A poor place. One the king rarely ever visited. They'd had an orphanage there, for children without families. There weren't many of us. But even so, that's where I grew up."  
  
Clarke stayed quiet. The story came as quite a surprise to her. An orphanage? The king?  
  
"My mother, she was strong. And very beautiful. Eventually, the king had been so taken with her that he married her. She came to visit me when she could. When she was crowned queen, she obviously had more power. More money. More to give. So she'd come by every couple of months. She'd pretended that she had a soft spot for the orphanage or something. And maybe she did. But I figured it was because that was the only way to explain why she kept coming back."

"The king...he really was an awful man. And not only because he sent his warriors to other lands to kill and steal and do much, much worse. But he was no better to the people who lived here. Any crime, no matter how small, was punishable by death. But sometime's he'd order other things. One time, one of the boys in the orphanage was caught stealing. It was just a loaf of bread. They cut both of his hands off."  
  
Clarke shuddered.  
  
"He treated my mother terribly. Beat her. Raped her. But he did that to almost all of the women at his castle. The first time one of them had fought back, he had her hung in the center of the village, the one right below us. He and his men were cruel for sport. No other reason."  
  
"So I grew up in secret. But when I was six, my mother had Octavia. The king was furious. He didn't want any female children. Somehow, my mother convinced him to let Octavia live. Probably because she promised that she'd birth him a boy eventually. So Octavia grew up in the castle."  
  
"My story was that both of my parents had died at the hands of the king. For treason or something. But it didn't matter. No one really cared. But honestly, I had it better than all of the others. My mother made sure I had enough food to eat, clothes on my back. She secretly paid a woman to teach me to read, to write. When I was eight, she hired a man to teach me to fight. She'd said he was the best fighter in the thirteen clans before the king had made him a slave. So I did."  
  
"When I was 12, my mother brought Octavia to meet me for the first time. She was scared, hesitant. I already loved her. She reminded me so much of my mother. There was nothing, nothing about her that reminded me of the king" he smiled, thinking of his sister.

"Anyway, I trained day in and day out. Every single day. My anger at the king and his men and how they treated the rest of us was what fueled me. Every day, I'd fight someone. Sometime's I'd lose. But the longer I trained, the less I lost. Eventually, I could beat everyone in my village. Even men who were twice, three times my age" he said. And it didn't sound like he was bragging. If anything, he sounded sad about it.  
  
"Octavia would visit with my mother when she could. But we had to keep our meetings short, since I wasn't even supposed to be alive. Each time she came, she begged to stay. More and more. One time I'd finally asked her why she wanted to stay at an orphanage when she lived in a castle? And she told me about the things the king did to his servants, our mother. She told me about how he'd beat her. She was a child, and he was beating her. I think that's what finally pushed me over the edge. My mother knew that I wanted to kill him, but she convinced me that the timing wasn't right. So I waited. I went from town to town, training. Staying until I could beat every single person there."  
  
"I went back to my village eventually. By that time, I'd already made friends -or should I say allies- in every single village in this kingdom. I had support. I was making my final preparations, my allies and I would storm the castle and I would take the throne. A few nights before we were supposed to leave, Octavia came to my village. She was only ten, and she'd come all the way from the castle on foot, by herself."  
  
"She told me that our mother had given birth to another girl. The king had her and the child killed right after it was born. Octavia ran because she knew she was next. I lost it and killed all the kingsguard in my village" he said, and paused to study Clarke for a moment. She focused on making her face as impassive as possible.

"Anyway, a few days later, we surrounded the castle. The king knew that he was surrounded, there were a lot more of us. But he had stronger men, better weapons. So the man who pretended he was the leader of the resistance challenged the king to a trail by combat. He picked me as his champion. The kings men let him know that I was a bastard, a low born. So the king laughed and stated that he would fight me. He was the king, after all" Bellamy said, a smile playing at his lips.  
  
"And so, we fought. The king was good....but I was better. Eventually I had him on his knees. Before I killed him, I told him who I was. As soon as I was finished, I slit his throat in front of all his men and took the crown."  
  
Clarke didn't know what to say. _Holy shit._   
  
"Not exactly what you were expecting?" Bellamy asked, smirking at her. But it didn't piss her off like it usually did.  
  
"What happened after that? I mean, did they all just accept you like that?" she asked, her voice coming out a little lower than usual.  
  
"Of course not. There were men who were very, very loyal to the old king. But they were just as bad as he was. I had them killed first."  
  
Clarke swallowed and looked away.  
  
"When I took the throne and killed the men who were closest to the king, I gave the others an option. They could stay and serve me, or they could leave. Most of them stayed, at first anyway. Once they realized I was nothing like the previous king, quite a few of them left. But I was glad. Like I said, they were horrible men. So I moved my men into the castle. My people. Octavia. Those who left went to the other villages around here."

"Eventually, I heard talk of rebellion. Those same men whose loyalty was with the past king were planning something against me. Before they could do anything though, I made an example out of all of them."  
  
He didn't elaborate. She wasn't sure that she wanted him to.  
  
"I was sixteen when I began my reign. The first few years were terrible. I didn't exactly know what I wanted to do, how I wanted to rule. But I knew it was the opposite of how the man before me had ruled. I wanted to make this place good. I wanted...for it to become a safe-haven, not a place people were exiled to. And so I've been doing that for the past ten years. I'd like to think we've come a long way" he said. He smiled down at Clarke. The story was over.  
  
"So that's why you brought us here? Well, that and your curiosity?" Clarke whispered.  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Do you regret it?" she asked.  
  
"I don't regret anything I've ever done" he said.  
  
Clarke turned on her back. She wasn't expecting this. She didn't really know what to say to him.  
  
Eventually, he turned to the other side, his back to her.  
  
"Bellamy?"  
  
"Hm?" he mumbled, half asleep.  
  
"What's the worst thing you've ever done?" she whispered.

He thought about it for a while. Just when she thought that he wasn't going to answer, or that he had fallen asleep, he answered.  
  
"I killed two young boys. 12 and 13."  
  
She turned her back to him. He didn't elaborate on how, or why, or when. She didn't want him to.

* * *

 

"That the best you can do?" he said, hovering above her.  
  
They were in the training room, only a few days after their wedding. They went there after he asked her if she'd gotten any better since the last time they'd fought while they were eating dinner.  
  
"Wanna find out?" she'd said.  
  
Now, after landing on her ass for the fifth time, she regretted it.  
  
"I'm done for the night" she said, trying to control her anger.  
  
"I would be too, if I'd ended up on the ground as many times as you have" Bellamy said, with that stupid fucking smirk on his face. She really wanted to wipe it off, but she didn't know how.  
  
He hadn't been holding back, like he did the first time they fought. This time, he defended and attacked. And every time he got her into an open position, he showed her how he'd kill her. A knife to her heart, a slit across the throat, a sword to her abdomen.  
  
"Fuck you" she said before she could stop herself.  
  
"Maybe later" he said back, licking his bottom lip.  
  
Her mouth fell open.  
  
"I-I didn't...You're a pig!" she yelled.  
  
"Is that any way to talk to your husband?" he said, offering a hand to help her up.  
  
She didn't take it.  
  
Instead, she got to her feet by herself. She had an idea.

"You're right. I'm sorry" she said, in as sincere of a voice as she could muster.  
  
"W-what?" he said, surprised "I was just kidding."  
  
"No, you're right. I shouldn't be talking to...my husband...like that" she said, inching closer to him. "And what you said," she began, timidly "about later..." going to walk around him.  
  
His eyes widened a little.  
  
She took the opportunity to kick the back of his knee. He dropped to both knees at the impact. She stood behind him and grabbed his hair with one hand, pulling his head to her stomach.  
  
She moved the other across his neck, like she was slitting it with her thumb; just as he had the first night they fought.  
  
"Maybe in your dreams" she whispered and pushed him forward.  
  
She walked around him, ready to leave. But she stopped at the door to take a look at him.  
  
He was still on his knees, looking right at her. His teeth were biting into his bottom lip and the look in his eyes was dark, dangerous. And he looked so, so fucking turned on that Clarke had to look away. Her face and chest felt like they were on fire.

She could feel his eyes on her, watching her walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you guys for your feedback on the last chapter. I love hearing from you!
> 
> So, they're officially married! Bed sharing!!!!! Where will things go from here? :P
> 
> And Bellamy's back story was revealed! What do you guys think? I don't actually know anything about kings and kingdoms and arranged marriages, so this is all my random story, my random ideas.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

They'd been married for about two weeks before Clarke finally got used to how people were treating her.  
  
A lot of people had moved out of the castle by then, but quite a few of them remained. She figured Bellamy kept the ones he wanted around. Among those that stayed were Miller, Monty, Jasper, Raven, Harper and surprisingly, Murphy.  
  
"He's an asshole" Clarke said one night over dinner. "You could have picked someone nicer in his place."  
  
"He's misunderstood" Bellamy said, "there's a difference."  
  
Clarke rolled her eyes.  
  
The only person that was bitter about having to live at the village instead of the castle was Finn. He was seeking her out more and more each passing day.  
  
She was in the village with Raven and Finn one afternoon, when she picked up a pretty black nightgown. It wasn't too revealing...but it was sexy. She'd just picked it up to examine it, really, she wasn't considering actually buying it when Finn spoke up.  
  
"Why are you even looking at that?" he said, an edge to his voice.  
  
"Shut up, Finn" Raven said, "it isn't any of your business."

Clarke glared at him but he glared right back, not backing down.  
  
"Excuse me" she said, still staring at him "but I'd like to purchase this."  
  
She handed the merchant a few coins and put the garment in her bag. She didn't plan on wearing it, but she bought it just to see the look on his face.  
  
He shook his head in disgust.  
  
"Wow, Clarke."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing...I just didn't realize you'd given yourself over to the _king_ " he said, like Bellamy was some sort of monster. "All in the name of our people though, right?"  
  
"Shut up, Finn. I told you not to talk to me that way" she said, her anger coming through. "You don't know anything."  
  
"Is that so?" he asked.  
  
She started to walk away but he caught up to her and grabbed her arm.  
  
"Or are you forgetting that I could destroy your marriage and this alliance with one sentence? I could get us all sent back?" he said.  
  
Her stomach dropped.  
  
"Let her go!" Raven yelled, "And back the fuck off!"

"Stay out of this, Raven. It doesn't concern you" he said, but he let go. "What do you think about that, Clarke? Maybe I should have a chat with the king tonight?"  
  
Before Clarke could say or do anything, Raven punched him. Right there, in the crowded center of the village. Right in the nose.  
  
She didn't wait a second before grabbing Clarke's hand and leading her back to the castle.  
  
They made their way back in silence.  
  
"He was just saying that to get to you" Raven said when the went through the front doors. "He isn't stupid enough to actually do it. He knows his life would be on the line."  
  
Clarke nodded. Maybe Raven was right. But the fact that he held that over her made her furious. _Fuck_. She wasn't sure if he would actually tell Bellamy that she knew about that night with the dagger. But if he did, then Bellamy would know that Clarke had been lying to him for weeks.  
  
And they were barely getting along as it was. Yeah, they'd bonded that night he told her about his life. Yeah, they'd even flirted a bit. But most nights, they went to bed with scowls on their faces, their backs turned to one another.  
  
That night, she thought about what she should do. How she should go about the situation. Maybe she should tell Bellamy herself. Because if he heard it from her instead of Finn, maybe he'd be more lenient? _But how much more lenient could he be?_ He'd already forgiven them twice. She wasn't sure that there'd be a third time.  
  
"Can we eat in our room tonight?" Clarke asked that evening. He was at his desk, and she was sitting on the loveseat in the middle of their room.

"What? Why?" he asked, turning to face her.  
  
She hadn't really thought about what she should say.  
  
"I-I kind of feel like trying something new" she said. It was stupid. She knew he'd never buy it. "I mean, I kind of just don't feel like eating with the crowd tonight."  
  
"Okay then, you can eat here" he said, like it was a dumb request.  
  
"I don't want to be alone" she said.  
  
"So invite Raven."  
  
She sighed.  
  
"I want us to eat here tonight. Alone. I'm the queen...I thought you said I'd have a say here?" she said, hating herself.  
  
"You are the queen. And you do have a say here. But I'm the king, and I don't take commands from anyone. But maybe if you tell me the real reason you want us to eat here, alone, I'll consider it" he said.  
  
"Screw you" she said, angry. Why couldn't he just accept her lie? "Forget it. Eat with your people."  
  
She felt hopeless. She was upset and she couldn't even hide it.  
  
He sighed, getting up and making his way towards her.  
  
"You really want that?" he asked, sitting down next to her. He picked her feet up and placed them across his lap.  
  
"Yeah" she said.  
  
"Tell me why."

"I-I just feel like I can't really talk to you in there. There, you're the king and I'm the queen. I-I'd like to have dinner with you, get to know you. As Bellamy." It was stupid. And embarrassing. But maybe he'd buy it.  
  
"Fine" he said.  
  
She felt so, so guilty. But mostly she was relieved. If Finn came by, he wouldn't get the opportunity to talk to Bellamy. And hopefully by tomorrow night, he'd calm down enough to forget about their argument.  
  
That night, they ate at the table in their front room. They ate in silence for a while. Clarke realized that she should be trying to get to know him, if she wanted him to believe that was actually the reason she wanted them to stay in.  
  
"So...what do you like to do for fun?" she asked.  
  
He looked at her with a strange look in his eyes. She tried not to roll hers.  
  
"Fun?"  
  
"Yeah, you do know what that is, right? Then again, you don't seem like someone who does" she said, fighting a smile.  
  
"Hah! That's funny. Coming from you."  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"If anyone doesn't know how to have fun here, it's you."  
  
"And why do you say that?"

"You've been nothing but...somber and serious since you've gotten here. I don't think I've ever actually seen you having fun. You train, you're serious. You talk, you're serious. You go into town, you're serious. Hell, you get drunk and yet you remain serious."  
  
"Well, someone has to be. I haven't really had a chance to have _fun_ in a long time. I was too busy keeping us alive" she said, moved to anger.  
  
"You're just proving my point now" he says, shaking his head. "We're having dinner, talking about having fun, and you're getting all serious. All angry."  
  
"Well, can you blame me? You are a very infuriating person. Tell me, is it just me that you go out of your way to annoy?"  
  
"Seems like it. Everyone else finds me quite charming" he says, smirking at her.  
  
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah...sure. Charming."  
  
He laughs.  
  
"And why the hell do you do that so much?"  
  
"Do what?" he asked.  
  
"Smirk like that! It pisses me off. It has since the first time you did it."  
  
"Well then, that's why I do it" he says, smirking again, "to piss you off. But I assure you, the other girls like it."  
  
"I'm sure they do" she says, rolling her eyes at him again. "Who could resist the annoying, smirking asshole king?"

"No one, I'll have you know."  
  
"Well there's a first time for everything because I assure you, I can definitely resist it."  
  
"For now" he says, and then he actually winks at her.  
  
_That smug, overconfident asshole actually winked at me._  
  
"Don't hold your breath" she says, cooly.  
  
"We'll see what you say once you get a little more comfortable in that bed."  
  
Her cheeks flushed. She shook her head.  
  
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Part of Clarke felt relieved for the interruption. He was staring at her in a way that made her stomach clench. The other part grew nervous, who was interrupting them?  
  
"Come in" Bellamy said, still looking at Clarke.  
  
She looked to the door.  
  
A guard came in, "Sorry to disturb, Your Grace, my lady, but one of the queens people would like to speak to you, Your Grace."  
  
Clarke's stomach dropped.   
  
Bellamy stood and walked to the door. Clarke got up and followed him.  
  
She peeked past him and saw Finn standing in the hallway. The blood in her body felt like it turned to ice.

"What do you want?" Bellamy asked, obviously displeased.  
  
"Can I talk to you? Privately?" he asked, not even looking at Clarke.  
  
"Sure" Bellamy said, stepping forward.  
  
Clarke grabbed his arm and pulled him back.  
  
"No!" she yelled.  
  
Bellamy looked at her, confused.  
  
"Finn, you need to leave right now" she said.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" Bellamy asked. Clarke could tell that he was already suspicious.  
  
"I have to tell you something-" Finn began.  
  
"Take him away!" Clarke yelled at the guards. She turned to Bellamy. "Please, please send him away" she said, her voice pleading. He looked at her. She could tell that he was angry.  
  
"But-" Finn began.  
  
"Do as the queen commands" Bellamy said, still looking at her.  
  
Clarke stepped forward and closed the door. She could hear the guards taking Finn away.  
  
"What the fuck is going on?" Bellamy said, his voice cold.  
  
"I-I..." she stammered, not knowing what to say. _How do I get out of this?_  
  
"Clarke...if you have something to tell me, I suggest you do it now" he said.  
  
She looked at him but made no move to speak.

"Is there something going on here? Between you two? Is there something you need to tell me?" he asked.  
  
That gave her an idea.  
  
"Can we sit back down?" she asked.  
  
He went back to the table but he was still angry, if his glare was anything to go by. She sat down across from him.  
  
"Finn and I...we started something a few days after we landed. It wasn't anything serious. And then Raven came down in her pod. She and Finn...they'd been together for a long time. Almost their whole lives. And Raven came down here for him. When I realized...when I realized he made me the other woman, that he'd cheated on Raven...I broke it off" she said, looking right at him so that he would know she wasn't lying. And she wasn't. About this, anyway.  
  
"I haven't been...involved with him since. But I guess he still wants me. And Raven broke up with him, so...Anyway, today in the village, he saw me buying something and he got jealous. He yelled at me and called me a few nasty names. He thinks I'm like...sleeping with you. So yeah, he was jealous. That's why I didn't want to eat in the throne room tonight. I was worried that he'd make a scene. And I wanted to avoid that. Avoid embarrassment."  
  
She studied his face, trying to tell if he believed her or not.  
  
"What'd you buy?" he asked, his face giving nothing away.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You said he saw you buying something that made him jealous. So I ask, what is it? What made him so jealous?"

She hadn't thought about that when she decided to tell him the story. She blushed and looked away.  
  
"Nothing...just-just a nightgown or whatever" she said, still not looking at him.  
  
"What kind of nightgown?"  
  
"Just a fucking nightgown!" she said, angry now.  
  
He was smirking at her again.  
  
"Can I see it?"  
  
"Absolutely not!"  
  
"Then why'd you buy it? You won't be sleeping alone unless I'm gone. Unless you plan to wear it for someone else?"  
  
"Fuck you, Bellamy. I bought it because I-I wanted to!"  
  
He laughed.  
  
"I knew you couldn't resist my smirk" he said.  
  
Before she could stop herself, she picked her wineglass up. The next second, Bellamy's face and shirt were drenched in wine.  
  
She got up and went into their bedroom. She found a pair of soft pants and a shirt to wear to bed. She got under the covers and made sure that she was as close to the edge as possible.

Eventually, she heard him come inside. He went to the bathroom first before getting in bed.  
  
"Are you awake?" he whispered.  
  
"No" she said.  
  
"Clarke..." he said, and he reached over to put a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Don't touch me" she said, shaking his hand off.  
  
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you..."  
  
She turned to face him. "Then what exactly were you hoping to achieve?"  
  
"Nothing...I-I just...shit. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I would never insinuate that...that you..." he stuttered. She'd never heard him stutter before. He was usually so confidant.  
  
He sighed.  
  
"I apologize for what I said. I was being an asshole. I'm sorry if my comments made you uncomfortable, okay? I'm not-I'm not really sure how to talk to you, honestly. I'm sorry if I've crossed any lines. It won't happen again."  
  
Clarke was a little shocked. _He's actually apologizing? And he sounds sincere?_  
  
"It's okay" she said, "Maybe I overreacted a little..." She thought about the wine.

"No, don't apologize. If I ever make you uncomfortable, I'd like for you to let me know. As I said, I'm not really sure how to talk to you. I've never really had..." he didn't finish the sentence.  
  
She studied him, lying on her side now. "You've never had what? A girlfriend?" she couldn't stop herself from smiling.  
  
"You're obviously more than a girlfriend...and I'll have you know, I've been with many women."  
  
"But you've never had a girlfriend?"  
  
"Not exactly."  
  
"Oh my god" she said, she couldn't stop herself from laughing.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"The king...the king's never had a girlfriend..."  
  
"Please shut up" he groaned, turning his back to her.  
  
She couldn't stop herself.  
  
"Wow. The kings never had a girlfriend!" she said, pulling on his shoulder, forcing him down on his back. "I've had more girlfriends than the king!"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"So what is it? You sleep with random girls and never talk to them again?"

"I talk to them. I'm not that big of an asshole. But I know how to talk to them. You're different. More than a friend, obviously. And unlike the others, I actually care what you think about me."  
  
That made the laughter die in her throat. She realized her hand was still on his shoulder. She pulled it away.  
  
"Oh...."  
  
They laid in silence for a few minutes.  
  
"So...how about that nightgown?" he asked, his voice innocent.  
  
"You asshole!" Clarke yelled, but she was laughing. She sat up and grabbed her pillow. She hit him over and over with it.  
  
By the time he stopped laughing, she was getting tired. He was on his back again, and Clarke was sitting up on her knees at his side.  
  
"I've had enough" he said, after she brought the pillow down on his chest again.  
  
"You'll have enough when I say so!" she yelled, bringing the pillow down. But her voice didn't sound as stern as she wished it would, she was still laughing. "I am the queen!"  
  
At that, he got up. So fast that Clarke didn't have time to prepare herself when he pushed her back down. His hands pinned her wrists above her head, his body only a few inches above hers. He was hovering above her on his knees, his body between her thighs.  
  
"Yes" he whispered, "But I am the king. And I say I've had enough."

His face was so close to hers, and for a moment she was mesmerized by the freckles on his face. _Like stars in the night sky._  
  
"And one day, you're gonna want to wear that nightgown for me, I promise" he said, smiling down at her before letting go of her wrists.  
  
He moved back to his side and for a second she missed the heat of his body so close to hers.  
  
"Jackass" she said, but her voice came out weak.  
  
"I know" he said, turning on his side, his back to her.  
  
He was infuriating. And she still wanted to slap him. But for the first time in a long time, heat pooled in her stomach. She turned to her side, clenching her thighs together. _What the hell just happened?_ How the hell did she go from being upset about Finn to feeling like this? _Finn. Shit._ She'd completely forgotten about what he tried to do.  
  
"Hey, Bellamy?" she whispered after about 15 minutes of complete silence.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can-can we go to that place you were talking about? I think I'd like to get away for a while. Even if it's just for a few days."  
  
She felt embarrassed, mortified, at what she was saying. She knew how it might be coming off to him. They flirt and she tells him she wants to be alone with him? _Oh my god, he totally thinks I want him._   _But that's better than him finding out about my lies? Right?_

"Uh, sure" he said. He was surprised. "When do you want to go?"  
  
"Tomorrow."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Okay? That's it?"  
  
"Yeah, okay. You are the queen."

She smiled to herself.

* * *

When she woke the next morning, she was alone.  
  
She panicked for a few minutes, but then she heard Bellamy moving around in the front room.  
  
She got up and went to find him. He was standing by the front doors, talking to one of the guards. She waited for him to close the door before speaking up.  
  
"Hey" she said.  
  
"Good morning" he said, smiling at her. "I've got a few things to take care of, so why don't you go ahead and get ready? Pack what you want. I'll be back in an hour or so and we can leave."  
  
"Um, yeah. Okay" she said. _Thank god_ , she thought. At least they'd be leaving early. Finn wouldn't get a chance to talk to him, seeing as they were only invited back to the castle at dinner time.  
  
He left after that and she took a bath. She packed some clothes and her sketchbook into a bag she found on her vanity chair. She got ready, putting the teal tunic and the brown pants on again. Something about the color really agreed with her skin tone, her eyes.  
  
She tried not to think about being alone with Bellamy for the next few days. But she knew that she had to tell him. It seemed like a good idea last night. She could talk to him, alone, and he wouldn't be under pressure to act. And they'd be away from the castle.  
  
Now, she wasn't so sure.

Eventually he came back. He had two packs with him. He nodded to a third one at the base of their bed and told her to carry it. She wasn't sure how far away this place was, but she hoped it wasn't that far. She didn't want to hike for hours, even if the packs weren't too heavy.  
  
He led her outside and her eyes widened when she saw two horses waiting for them, saddles and all.  
"Oh my god, horses?" she said, walking towards the white one. The other one was black.  
  
She reached out and stroked the horses mane. Bellamy strapped two of the packs onto one horse and the other two on the other.  
  
"Well, it's not too far away but it'd be quite a walk on foot" he said.  
  
He stood beside her.  
  
"This one's yours" he said.  
  
"Mine?"  
  
"Yeah, think of it as a late wedding present" he said.  
  
"Oh, wow, thank you" she said, blushing.  
  
He helped her get on the horse and told her the basics of riding one. But she found it a little hard to focus. He'd placed a hand on her hip when he helped her get on, and she could still feel the ghost of it, lighting her nerves on fire.  
  
Eventually they left. The ride was long, but Clarke enjoyed it. Her backside began to ache, but it was easy to ignore while she marveled at the beauty of the horse and the woods they were strolling through.  
  
Bellamy was quieter than usual, which made her a little nervous. But she figured that it was because of the ride. Or maybe he was just as nervous as she was about having to spend time alone together, away from everyone else.  
  
When they got to their destination, Clarke gaped at the scene before her. Once they reached the edge of the woods, she realized they were at the top of a cliff, like the ones she'd seen when they came here that first night. A small stone cottage stood in the middle of the clearing, right between the woods and the cliff. The water stretched out as far as her eyes could see.  
  
She turned to look at Bellamy, but he was looking at her.  
  
"It's-it's beautiful" she said.  
  
He just nodded.  
  
They got off their horses and tied their reigns to trees at the edge of the forest. They made their way to the cottage on foot.  
  
Bellamy opened the door and Clarke stepped inside, putting the bags down. It was old and simple. Just two rooms. The first room had a wooden table with two chairs in it, an old stove and a bed pushed up against the wall. The other room was a bathroom.  
  
Clarke went to the north wall and looked out of the window, watching the water. She could almost hear the waves crashing against the rocky cliff.  
  
Now that they were here, she wasn't really sure about what to do.  
  
"You hungry?" he asked from behind her.

"Starving" she said. And she was.  
  
"There's a well outside, I'm gonna go get some water" he said. "Why don't you get the food out of the packs?"  
  
"Okay" she said.  
  
He left and she looked through one of the packs, taking out a variety of foods. Sandwiches, fruit and vegetables. She found two plates in a wooden cupboard above the old oven. She wiped them down with her shirt and placed them, along with the food, on the table.  
  
Eventually Bellamy came back and they ate. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was... _off._  
  
After they ate, Bellamy asked her if she wanted to spend some time outside. And to her surprise, he put a blanket down on the ground a few feet from the cliff. It was a little dangerous, but there was still plenty of space between them and the cliff. And anyway, the view was totally worth it.  
  
He laid down on his stomach and began reading.  
  
She did the same thing, on her side. She faced the sea and took her sketchbook out, wanting to sketch the scenery. She left a few feet between them.  
  
The sun had started setting by the time that Bellamy suddenly spoke up.  
  
"Octavia told me what you told her before you got here, about what had happened to you and your people. She said that your father had been executed...what happened to your mother?"

"Uh" Clarke said, a little surprised, "I don't really know. We found a way to talk to them and they were preparing to come down. And then we lost touch. Something happened to them, up there. I-I don't know what happened but...I think she's dead. I think they all are" she said.  
  
"But you don't know for sure?" he asked.  
  
"No, I guess not. But I doubt any of them are alive. Raven said...she said it was like there was nothing up there, not anymore. So...yeah" she swallowed. _Why the sudden interest in my mother? My people?_ "Why?"  
  
"Just curious" he said, but she wasn't sure if he was telling the truth.  
  
She studied him for a few minutes. He must've felt her gaze on him, but he continued reading his book.  
  
Eventually it got too dark for him too see so he suggested they head back inside.  
  
Clarke wasn't really sure what they were supposed to do with their time. They'd only been here for a few hours and it was already starting to feel awkward. What the hell could they do for the next two days?  
  
Inside, Bellamy built a fire and got in bed. He kept reading.  
  
"Do you have another book?" Clarke asked, not knowing what else she could do. She wasn't tired enough to sleep just yet.  
  
"Yeah" he said, not looking up. "There's another one in the pack."

She got up and searched through his pack, finding a very used looking book. _The Odyssey_ by Homer.  
  
"You have a thing for ancient books?" she asked, sitting down on the bed.  
  
He nodded.  
  
_Why the hell is he acting so weird?_ He was being distant. He hadn't really even teased her all day.  
  
She thought about asking him. But what if it was because he was uncomfortable about her asking him to come here?  
  
She sighed and began reading. At some point, she fell asleep.  
  
The next morning, Bellamy asked if she wanted to go to the shore. She agreed, mostly because she wanted something to do. And a walk down to the shore would take up some of the time they were spending not talking to each other.  
  
The hike down wasn't bad. And it was beautiful, despite the fact that Clarke couldn't go into the water. Not as deep as she wanted, anyway.  
  
Eventually Bellamy noticed her standing knee deep in the water. At some point he had taken his clothes off and disappeared into the water.  
  
"Come swim" he yelled from a good distance away.  
  
"You know I can't" Clarke said, rolling her eyes.

He went under the water, and when he emerged he was only a few feet away, the water up to his waist.  
  
Clarke looked away. Suddenly aware that he was very, very naked.  
  
"I'll teach you" he said, kind of smiling at her.  
  
"I-I don't know" she said. She wanted to learn, she really did. But the thought of being close to him while he was naked made her a little uncomfortable. And there was no way that she would take off her clothes and join him. _No freaking way._  
  
"Oh come one" he said, "it's easy. I learned when I was a kid. I taught Octavia. I can teach you."  
  
She was still looking away.  
  
"Okay but...but I'm not...I'm not getting naked" she said, turning in his general direction but not looking at him directly.  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Is that why you're so uncomfortable?"  
  
"Yeah" she said "it is."  
  
"Okay well...stay in your clothes. I promise I won't get too close" he said, his voice mocking.

"Fine" she said.  
  
She went back onto the shore and took off her pants and her shirt, leaving her in her underwear and a thin undershirt. Before she could think of a way to talk herself out of it, she trudged into the water.  
  
"So" she said, once the water was up to her waist. "What do I do?"

He laughed a little.  
  
Her cheeks flushed, "If you're going to laugh at me then I'm going to leave!" she yelled.  
  
"Calm down" he said, raising his hands. "And come closer."  
  
She took a few tiny steps towards him, the water now up to her rib cage.  
  
"I-I can't go any further" she said, this was already too deep.  
  
"Hey" he said, grabbing her arm but keeping her at an arms distance, "I promise I won't let you drown" he was fighting a smile.  
  
"What's so funny?" she asked. She didn't find the situation amusing, at all.  
  
"Nothing" he answered quickly. "First things first, let me teach you how to float."  
  
He came a little closer and gently bent forward to place one hand on her back, and the other behind her knees. He lifted her knees up and she leaned back into his hand.  
  
And then, she was laying in the water.  
  
"Oh my god!" she screeched, "Don't let go!"  
  
He laughed a bit, saying "Relax. I won't. Just relax. Don't fight it."  
  
She stayed like that for a while, and eventually he moved his hands out from under her, until she was floating by herself.  
  
It was a little scary, she had to admit. But he stayed close to her. After a while, he joined her. He floated next to her, an arms reach away.

Eventually, he turned her on her stomach and taught her how to move her arms and legs to stay afloat. After a few hours, Clarke's arms ached but she couldn't remember the last time she'd done something so fun.  
  
She was floating on her back when the sun started to set. She figured it was time to go, that they shouldn't hike back up in the dark. She got to her feet and looked around.  
  
When she didn't see him, she panicked.  
  
"Bellamy!" she yelled, turning in a circle. "Bellamy?!"  
  
_Oh my god...what if he drowned?_ But the water was undisturbed on all sides.  
  
"Bella-"  
  
She screamed when she felt someone come up behind her, placing a hand over her mouth. She bit down on the hand on her mouth, muffling her scream.  
  
"Ouch!" Bellamy yelled from behind her, in between bursts of laughter.  
  
Relief washed over her. And then anger.  
  
"You! Fucking! Asshole!" she screamed, splashing water at him.  
  
"I-I'm sorry" he said, but he was still laughing.  
  
She moved past him, getting out of the water and making her way towards her clothes. She could hear him following behind her. She put on her boots and grabbed her clothes, walking to the woods in her wet undergarments.

She could hear him calling after her, but he had stopped to put his clothes back on.  
  
It was another five minutes before he caught up to her.  
  
"Hey" he said, coming up beside her. He was fighting a smile. It only made her even more pissed.  
  
"I'm sorry" he said, not sounding sorry at all.  
  
"Screw you! You-you really fucking scared me. Have you forgotten what I've been living like for the past few months? Worrying about being snatched or worse?" she had stopped walking so that she could properly yell at him.  
  
"Oh come on" he said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Fuck you! You have no idea what it's like to live like that. I spent every waking minute looking over my shoulder!" her heart was beating too fast. She hadn't even realized how angry she was, until then. "And you just- you...you fucking asshole!" she said, absolutely livid now. She put her hands on his chest and shoved him back as hard as she could.  
  
He was taken by surprise, not expecting it at all. He stumbled back a few steps and tripped on something, landing on his back.  
  
She was worried for a fraction of a second, but the anger that still lingered in her chest and her mind made it easy to shove the worry aside and glare at him before stomping off.  
  
"Clarke!" he yelled after her, but she kept going.  
  
Eventually he caught up. He grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn around.  
  
"Don't fucking touch me" she spat.

He let go a second later, putting his hands up.  
  
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't...I was just messing around. I don't know why I- Fuck. I'm sorry. Okay?" he said, moving to stand in her way.  
  
"No! It's not okay!" she yelled. She didn't want to let it go that easily.  
  
"Come on, I really am sorry. I should have- I should have considered how it might make you feel. I wasn't thinking about that. It was stupid."  
  
She sighed.  
  
"Fine" she said, walking around him.  
  
"Are you just saying that so I'll stop talking to you?" he asked, now smiling again. _That fucking asshole._  
  
"Yes" she said, looking straight ahead.  
  
"Oh come on! Let me make it up to you."  
  
"And how are you gonna do that?"  
  
"I don't know. Just, tell me how. And whatever it is, I'll do it."  
  
_Hm. That's an interesting idea._ She thought about it for a few minutes before looking up at him.  
  
"Okay" she said, now smiling a little.  
  
"Ugh. I don't like that look on your face."

"What? My smile?"  
  
"No, that's not your real smile. That's your 'I'm gonna embarrass the hell out of Bellamy' smile."  
  
Now she really smiled. He was so ridiculous.  
  
"What do you want me to do?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know just yet. I need to think about it."  
  
"Whenever you're ready" he said.  
  
They walked in silence after that.  
  
She considered telling him about Finn, right then and there. And asking him for forgiveness, demanding it in exchange for his trick. But she dismissed the thought right after she had it. There was no way she could do that. She had to tell him, but she had to be serious about it. She didn't want to imagine his reaction if she joked about such a thing.  
  
They made their way back to the little cottage. The sun had set by then, and the warmth from the afternoon was gone. The walk up kept her warm, but even so, she was shivering by the time they got inside.  
  
"I'll start a fire" Bellamy said as soon as the walked in.  
  
She nodded and went to find something to change into. 

It was a terrible idea, but she went outside and filled a few buckets with the water from the well. She took off her undergarments and rinsed herself with the cold water. It wasn't the best option, but a bath would take too long and her skin had already started itching by the time they got back.  
  
Outside, she put the fresh clothes back on and made her way back in.  
  
"You could have just asked me to heat some of the water up" Bellamy said, looking at her wet hair.  
  
"You'd like that, wouldn't you? For me to waste my one demand on a bath?"  
  
"What? No..I mean, I would have done it anyway" he said, shaking his head.  
  
He left and came back with a few buckets of his own, warming the water up on the old stove.  
  
Clarke ate while he took the warm water into the bathroom, a smug look on his face.  
  
When he was clean and dressed, he joined her at the table.  
  
"Do you like the book?" he asked.  
  
She nodded. "Why does this ancient stuff interest you so much?"  
  
"Sometimes when my mother would visit, while I was still young, she'd read me old books about Greek gods and Roman emperors. She'd leave the books after she left. I used those same books to learn how to read. And now, they just kind of remind me of her so..." he looked away, like he'd said too much.  
  
"Oh" was all Clarke said. 

"I named Octavia, you know" he said. A smile spread across his face.  
  
Clarke couldn't help but smile, too. "Really?"  
  
"My mother had just read me the story of Augustus the Emperor. Also known as Octavian and Octavius. She told me she was pregnant. She told me she knew it was a girl. I don't know how, but she did. Anyway, she asked me what she should be called. Augustus had a sister named Octavia. And I thought that sounded better than Octavian or Octavius" he laughed a little. "So I told her that she would be called Octavia" he said, finally looking over at Clarke.  
  
Clarke smiled back at him.  
  
It was so weird. How could the man that (sometimes) made her want to pull her own hair out make her feel so...light? How could someone who had killed so many smile fondly at the thought of his little sister? Who was he, really?  
  
"Do you believe in that stuff?" she asked, trying to change the subject. She knew how to be angry with him, hell, she knew how to _like_ him. But the feeling that was washing over her now was too different, too scary.  
  
"What stuff?"  
  
"Like, the gods and whatnot? In your books? Or do you believe in like...the one god?"  
  
"I don't believe in anything" he said. And the look in his eyes made her next question die in her throat.

She thought about what he said over the next hour or so as they sat there, reading their books in the dim room. _How can he not believe in anything?_ she thought. She wasn't exactly sure what her beliefs were, not anymore. But there had to be something, right? Someone watching over all of them? Some place to go after leaving this life? There was a purpose, wasn't there?  
  
Eventually, her thoughts turned dark. She thought about all the people she killed. And how even if there was somewhere else to go, people like her wouldn't be going there. She climbed in bed and desperately tried to think of something else, anything else.  
  
The only other thought that stuck with her was that she was running out of time. They'd be leaving the day after tomorrow. And she had convinced herself that she had to tell him and that this time alone was the best time to do it.  
  
She gathered her courage. She opened her mouth to say something. And she almost did. Almost.

* * *

 

_Oh my god_ , was the first thought she had upon waking.  
  
_Oh my god._  
  
She couldn't remember when she fell asleep last night, but now the sunlight was streaming through the little window in the cottage.  
  
And Bellamy Blake, the king, had his arm around her waist.  
  
They'd slept in the same bed for quite a few nights. She couldn't remember how many days had actually passed since they'd gotten married. But since that first night, he'd stuck to his side and his side only. Just as she had.  
  
But when she woke, the first thing she registered was the heavy arm draped around her middle. The second thing she registered was the warmth of his body, pressed up against hers.  
  
And he must've been the one who reached out, who came closer. Because she was still in the same position she'd fallen asleep on; on her side, facing the wall.  
  
She paused for a few seconds, trying to even her breathing.  
  
She could feel a tiny gust of warm air tickling the top of her head as he exhaled.  
  
_What do I do?_ She thought about it. She didn't feel like getting up. But what if he woke up? She could only imagine how awkward that situation would be. But if she tried to move, he might wake up anyway?  
  
She tried to relax, hoping that he was still asleep. Hoping that the fact that she suddenly went rigid and tense didn't wake him.

Eventually she relaxed. He was still asleep. She decided to stay put and pretend that she was sleeping too, hoping that he'd wake and realize what he' done.  
  
It was weird. She hadn't been so physically close to anyone for a long time. She'd forgotten how nice it was. And it wasn't just the warmth. There was something safe, something peaceful about being held like that.  
  
She hadn't been held like that in a long, long time.  
  
About twenty minutes later, she felt him wake. She knew it based on the way that his muscles went rigid.  
He moved his arm, pulling it away gently, probably hoping that she didn't notice.  
  
But she couldn't help herself. The moment was just too good to pass up.  
  
"Well well well. What do you know? The big scary king is a cuddler?" she said, feeling him tense even more so than before. She fought the urge to laugh, but she couldn't stop herself from smiling.  
  
He sighed.  
  
She turned to face him.  
  
"What will all of his subjects say?"  
  
"Shut up" he said, turning his head the other way. And she couldn't believe her eyes when she looked over and saw a little pink blush to his cheeks.  
  
"Oh my god! You're blushing!"

"No" he said, his voice stern. "I'm not."  
  
She couldn't stop herself from laughing now. Really laughing.  
  
"The king is a cuddler! I can't wait to tell everyone!"  
  
"I was NOT cuddling you. I-I was...it was for warmth."  
  
She laughed even harder.  
  
He got up, shaking his head.  
  
"Aw, have I embarrassed you?" she said. She was really enjoying it, teasing him.  
  
"I don't get embarrassed, Clarke. And I definitely don't cuddle."  
  
"Why? Do you guys have another term for it here?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"You cuddled me. The king cuddled me!" she said, laughing.  
  
He shook his head and walked away, going into the bathroom.  
  
Clarke turned on her side, smiling to herself. She waited for him to come back, not ready to let it go.  
  
"Why are you so embarrassed?" she asked. She knew why it was embarrassing for her, but him? She'd never really even seen him look uncomfortable. And definitely not embarrassed.

"I'm not" he said, not looking at her. He started the fire in the old oven and placed a kettle on the top. He looked through the cupboard and pulled out two mugs. "And like I said, it was for warmth. So don't get any ideas."  
  
"What? No...I-I'm just teasing" she said, now embarrassed herself. And a small part of her felt a little hurt by what he said. She wasn't even sure why.  
  
She didn't have anything to say after that.  
  
He made them some tea, and she took the mug he offered her with a quiet _'thanks'_.  
  
"So, what do you want to do today?" he asked after they sat in silence for a while.  
  
"I don't know" she said. She didn't really feel like doing much of anything, still thinking about what he said. _Don't get any ideas_. It wasn't like she had. Part of her had figured it was for warmth. So why did she feel so upset now?  
  
"What? No more cuddling jokes?" he said, his tone was playful. But Clarke didn't find it so funny anymore.  
  
She just shrugged.  
  
Eventually, they took the blanket and spread it down on the ground near the cliff, like the did the first day.  
  
Bellamy read his book, and Clarke drew. For some reason, she decided to draw her mother. She chalked it up to the fact that she missed her. But part of her knew it was because her mothers appearance was still fresh in her mind. In a few years, she'd forget the little details of her mothers face. She wanted to draw her while she could still remember it.

Eventually, she felt Bellamy shift to look over at her sketch. But she didn't pull it away this time. She let him look.  
  
"Is that your mother?" he asked quietly.  
  
Clarke nodded. A lump had formed in her throat.  
  
"She's beautiful" he said.  
  
"Yeah" Clarke said, swallowing over the lump in her throat, "She was."  
  
He studied the picture for a few more moments.  
  
"Clarke...I-I have to tell you someth-" he began, but she cut him off.  
  
"What did your mother look like?" she asked, turning to a blank page. Not wanting to look at her mothers face for another second. She didn't want to talk about her mother. It was making the dark thoughts from the night before resurface.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your mother? What did she look like?" she repeated. "I-I could draw her for you."  
  
He looked a little taken aback. "Clarke, you don't have to do that."  
  
"I want to."

He hesitated. Just when she thought he'd tell her he didn't want to talk about his mother, either, he spoke up. "She looked like Octavia" he said.  
  
And so, he began describing her. Clarke drew after she asked him for specific details, like the exact shape of her nose or if she'd had a full top lip.  
  
After she got a good idea of how the woman had looked, she drew her part by part. An eye here, the angle of her jaw there. Eventually, she drew the woman. She couldn't tell how realistic the drawing was but if Bellamy's face was anything to go by, she'd gotten close.  
  
"Thank you" he said, after studying it for what felt like a full five minutes.  
  
She went to rip the page out so that she could give it to him but he stopped her.  
  
"No" he said, "keep it in there. With the others."  
  
"But I drew it for you?"  
  
"I know. And it's-it's perfect. But you should keep it in there."  
  
She wasn't sure why he was so adamant about her keeping the picture. But maybe it had made him too sad? She thought about how she felt, looking at Abby's picture. A part of her understood.  
  
"Let's play a game" she said, desperate to change the subject. She wanted to feel light again, not weighed down by the image of dead mothers.  
  
"What?" he asked, smiling a little. "A game?"

"Yeah, don't you have those down here? Or do you just kill people for fun?" she asked. For a second, she thought he'd get offended.  
  
"Very funny. But I meant like, what kind of game, you little weasel."  
  
"Weasel?" she laughed. It was such a ridiculous thing to call someone. "Who the hell calls someone a weasel? Wait, who the hell calls their wife a weasel?"  
  
"I do" he said, "because unlike the others...my wife is a little weasel."  
  
Clarke turned on her back, really laughing now.  
  
He poked her stomach. "Are you done? Didn't you say something about a game?"  
  
She thought about it.  
  
"Okay, so there's this game I used to play with my best friend. Our dads would join us, but we were really good so we almost always won. You can't talk, but you have to do something to...like, you have to describe a word or a place or anything really, but...you can't talk. Does that make sense?" she asked.  
  
The look on his face told her that no, it didn't make sense.  
  
She sighed. She got up to show him an example.  
  
"Okay, so let's say for example my word is 'food', I'd do something like this" she took a bite from an invisible apple and made a show of pretending to chew it and swallow "to describe it. I'd keep going until you guessed right or gave up. Got it?"

Eventually, he did.  
  
They played for hours, using basically anything they could think of. They both got frustrated easily when the other person took too long to give up or get the word right. Half of the time, they ended up laughing about some of the ridiculous things they did. Clarke had never heard Bellamy laugh so much. The smile on his face made it hard for her not to smile, too.  
  
"Okay, it's your turn and then we really have to go inside and eat" Clarke said. The sun was beginning to set. It was already starting to feel a little chilly.  
  
She sat on the blanket as Bellamy got up.  
  
He pointed to the horses.  
  
"Horse?"  
  
He shook his head no. Again he pointed to the first horse. Then the second.  
  
"Horses?"  
  
He shook his head again, annoyed. He pointed to the first horse, than the second, and then he turned and pointed at one of the trees. Right at the branches, pretending like he was listening.  
  
"Birds? Birds and horses?"  
  
He put his hands up, saying wait.  
  
He pointed to the first horse, then the second one, and finally at the birds again.  
  
"ANIMALS?!" Clarke yelled. She couldn't help it. She was always pretty competitive.

Bellamy shook his head, yes.  
  
And then he pointed at her. He pointed at the animals again, then back at her.  
  
"What? Me? And the animals?" she said, thinking about it. It made no sense. Why would he compare her to an animal?  
  
Realization washed over her.  
  
"Bellamy Blake. Is your word....weasel?" she said, fighting to keep her voice even.  
  
At that, he started laughing, putting his face in his hands.  
  
"How-how did you know?" he asked, still laughing at her.  
  
"You are such a jackass!" she yelled, but she smiled back at him. She couldn't help it. He was so....  
  
_Ugh._ She couldn't even describe what _he was_ , exactly. 

* * *

 

"When exactly did you learn how to braid?" Clarke asked.  
  
She was sitting at the edge of the bed with Bellamy behind her, his hands in her hair. She had been struggling to get the knots out and put it in it's usual style when Bellamy huffed and sat down behind her with a quiet ' _here, let me'._  
  
"I told you about how Octavia had grown up, how her father treated her. She had a problem letting people get too close to her. One time one of the maids grabbed her arm and she had a panic attack. It got worse after we moved back into the castle. She wouldn't let any of the maids near her. One day, I noticed her watching one of the maids braid a young girls hair with this sad look on her face. So, I asked the same maid to teach me" he said. She knew he was smiling.  
  
"You should have seen the look on her face. Anyway, I was probably the only person who Octavia felt comfortable with. So after I learned, I started braiding her hair for her. It was awful, honestly. I was terrible at first and she was too picky for her own good. But I got better."  
  
By the point, he was finished.  
  
Clarke ran a hand from the top of her head to the bottom of the braid.  
  
"Thank you" she said, turning to face him. She gave him a timid smile.  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
He got off the bed and went to put more wood in the oven for the fire.  
  
"You should put more in there" Clarke said after he stuck a thick log into the fire.  
  
"Why? Are you cold?" he asked.

"No but we'll be heading to bed soon. It'll probably get a little chilly" she said, a smile playing at her lips. "You might get cold again...."  
  
"Shut up" he said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Clarke laid down, now really smiling at him. "What? I'm only being considerate?"  
  
"No, you're not. You're trying to make another...cuddling joke, or whatever" he said, laying down on his side.  
  
"No I wasn't!" she said, trying to look innocent.  
  
"Right."  
  
Clarke studied his face for a few moments. He'd been the total opposite of everything she'd expected when she came here. And it seemed like the more time she spent with him, the better she got to know him, the more she liked the person she was learning he was.  
  
"Bellamy, I have to tell you something" she said, quietly. She was pretty sure that she had run out of time, that she had to tell him. It scared her. Telling him would probably ruin the small connection that was growing between them. But she had no choice.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I-I know who took the dagger" she said, looking down.  
  
He stayed quiet, but she noticed him clenching his fists.

"It was Finn" she said, "But-but he knows that it was a mistake. And he only did it because he was afraid of what might happen. You have to understand. It was stupid, he knows that now. But-" her voice died in her throat. She didn't know what else to add.  
  
She looked up at him, trying to read his face in hopes of getting a little idea of how he'd react to the news.  
  
"And how long have you known that?" he asked, his voice even, his face not giving anything away.  
  
"I suspected for a while..." she said. She knew she was being vague and that it wasn't really an answer, or the truth for that matter.  
  
He nodded.  
  
"But you know if..if he were a real threat, I would have told you. And I waited to tell you because I was worried about how you'd react and I-"  
  
"That wasn't your decision to make. I should be the one to decide if he's a threat or not" he said.  
  
"But-"  
  
"But nothing!" he yelled. "I fucking knew it. I knew it."  
  
"You knew what?"  
  
He got up and stood beside the bed.  
  
"I knew it was him, and I knew you were lying. That _you_ knew."

"So why didn't you say anything?"  
  
"Because I was being stupid and giving you the benefit of the doubt" he said. He walked away, running a hand through his hair. "I-I figured it was him. And I figured that you knew. But I convinced myself that...that if you actually knew, you'd tell me. Obviously I was wrong."  
  
"Bellamy" she said, sitting up "You have to understand, I-"  
  
"I don't have to understand shit" he yelled, turning to face her. "You knew. You've probably known since that night. And I convinced myself that you- that you were different. That you'd tell me. But you're not. And I fucking-" he shook his head.  
  
"You don't understand, I only did what I did because-"  
  
"I don't fucking care why you did it. You've always got some reason. Some way to convince me that you're intentions make up for the fact that you're nothing but a liar."  
  
That stung a little. But she tried to understand. She'd been expecting it.  
  
"All you've done since you've gotten here is lie and manipulate me" he said. He wasn't yelling anymore. His voice sounded cold and calculated, like it did when she had first met him. "And I fucking let you."  
  
She looked down. It wasn't the first time someone had called her a liar. Or manipulative. But for some reason, it hurt a lot worse this time.

"I understood why you did all of the things you did before you came here. I understood and I accepted it. But I haven't- I haven't been a threat to you. I took all of you in and the only thing I asked for was your loyalty" he said. "But you can't even give me that. And I understand if you hate me, I do. A lot of people hate me, for the things I've done to them, to their families. But I've treated your people well. I never asked for you to...to fucking love me or something. I don't give a shit if you even _like_ me. I don't need that. I wanted this alliance and-... I asked you for your trust. I gave you mine" he said, "and still, after everything, you fucking lied. For weeks."  
  
"I-I'm sorry" she said, looking up at him.  
  
"No you're not. I fucking knew it was him. And the other night, when he came to our chambers and you freaked out, I figured this was the reason why. And still, I didn't push you about it. I had hoped that it wasn't true, that I was right about you" he said, turning his back on her.  
  
"The only reason you're even telling me now is because you have no choice. If I heard it from him instead of you, it would be worse. And you knew that, so that's why you asked me to come here. So that you could finally fucking tell me. So don't act like you're sorry. The only thing you're sorry about is finally getting caught."  
  
"Bellamy...I-"  
  
"I don't care. I don't care about your reasons. I can't trust a word you say" he said. He grabbed a jacket and walked through the front door.  
  
Clarke remained on the bed. Tears swam in her eyes. Panic and fear seized her chest, making it hard for her to inhale, exhale, or do anything besides sit there and try to work through what had just happened.

For a second, she was worried that he'd left. That he was already on the way back to the castle. But there was no way he'd go in the dark, would he? He wouldn't just abandon her, right?  
  
The surprising thing was, she wasn't that worried about what would happen to Finn. She wasn't even that worried about what would happen to her and the others. What upset her the most was what he'd said about her, what he thought of her now. _I convinced myself that you were different._ But she was, wasn't she? _All you've done since you've gotten here is lie and manipulate me._ But that wasn't true. Yes, she lied. And maybe she did manipulate him a little. But it was only to protect the people she loved. Didn't that make a difference?  
  
She wasn't sure why what he thought of her was so important. Plenty of other people had said and probably thought much worse. She didn't care. She knew who she was, and at the end of the day the things she'd done had been worth it. She protected those she cared for.  
  
She put her head in her hands.  
  
When he finally came back, she was in the same position she'd been after he left.  
  
She couldn't look up. For some reason, she felt ashamed. She wasn't sure why she didn't tell him sooner. He'd been understanding before. Maybe if she would have confided in him, maybe if she'd told him the truth as soon as she found out, he would have been accepting and understanding. That would have convinced him that she really was different; that she was trustworthy. And now she was nothing but a liar to him. He'd never trust her again.  
  
He didn't say anything to her. He tended to the fire for a few minutes before silently climbing into the bed, ignoring her like she wasn't even there.  
  
After a few minutes, she spoke up. "What are you going to do?" she whispered.  
  
"I don't know" he said, his back turned to her.

"Do we have to leave?" she asked. She couldn't help herself.  
  
He turned to face her. He didn't seem angry anymore. His face was emotionless, impassive.  
  
"No, Clarke" he said, looking right at her, "Your people can stay. You were right when you said that they were good people. They don't deserve to suffer because of Finn's treachery."  
  
Relief washed over her. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting to hear.  
  
"And...me?" she asked.  
  
"You can stay. Or you can go. It's up to you."  
  
She nodded. She should be grateful. Grateful that he wasn't kicking her out because he obviously couldn't trust her. But his careless tone hurt her feelings.  
  
"Do you want me to leave?" she asked.  
  
"I don't care what you do" he said. And with that, he turned back around.  
  
She didn't know what else to say, what else to add. She laid down and faced the wall. They'd slept like this almost every night since they'd gotten married, but tonight if felt different.  
  
_I want you to stay,_ he'd said a few weeks ago.  
  
_I don't care what you do._  
  
She wasn't sure why it hurt so much. She wasn't expecting this. She should be glad, happy even, that he was fond enough of her friends to let them stay.  
  
She wasn't sure when she had started to care about what the king had thought of her. Maybe it was that night when he'd told her about his mother. Maybe it was the day he talked to Monty. Or maybe it was this afternoon, when he laughed with her and she noticed the way his eyes crinkled and lit up, making her feel like he was someone who belonged by her side.  
  
Someone she could confide in. Someone she could laugh with. Someone she could lead alongside with.  
  
She was sure that he didn't feel the same way, not anymore.

* * *

 

The next morning, they silently packed their things and made their way home.  
  
Clarke grew nervous once the castle had come into view. Last night, she hadn't been that worried about what would happen to Finn. But now, less than an hour from the castle, she could feel the worry making her chest tighten.  
  
Bellamy hadn't seemed angry. In fact, he seemed totally at ease. But that didn't make her feel any better.  
  
Guards greeted them once they had arrived. The took the horses away. Clarke and Bellamy entered the castle and made their way to the throne room. Everyone they passed greeted them, like they'd actually been missed. And maybe they had.  
  
Clarke stopped at the doors and told him that she was going to their chambers instead. She didn't feel like talking to anyone. He shrugged.  
  
She made her way upstairs and drew herself a bath. She tried to relax but her thoughts about Finn and what would happen made it impossible.  
  
Eventually, she figured that she'd have to face the others so she made her way to the throne room once again.  
  
She noticed that Bellamy had left and Octavia was nowhere to be seen, so she joined her friends at their table.  
  
A few people asked about her trip, and she did her best to seem happy and at ease. The only person that could tell that something was wrong was Raven. They made their way into the garden for some privacy.

Raven didn't seem surprised by what Clarke had told her.  
  
"What do you think he'll do?" she asked.  
  
"I'm not sure" Clarke answered. And she wasn't. "But whatever it is...I don't think I'll be able to stop him. He-he doesn't trust me anymore."  
  
It hurt to say. But she was sure of it.  
  
"Give him time, Clarke" Raven said. "He's not...he's not a bad guy. He'll trust you again, eventually. I'm sure he understands, on some level."  
  
Clarke wasn't sure why Raven was sticking up for Bellamy. Clarke had expected her to panic.  
  
"But you're right" Raven said, "it's his call. I don't think anything you do or say will make a difference."  
  
That night, Clarke stayed up and waited for Bellamy to come back. She waited for what felt like hours, and just when she was about to give in to sleep, she heard him walking through the doors of the front room.  
  
She stayed in bed. She wasn't sure what she would say, but she felt like talking to him. It was weird. She felt like she missed him, even though they'd been together that day. Maybe it was the distance he'd placed between them that made her feel that way.  
  
After a little while, he joined her in bed.  
  
"Hey" she said, a little timidly.  
  
"Hey" he sighed, placing an arm over his eyes.  
  
"Look, Bellamy, I know you're mad at me and I-"  
  
"I'm not mad at you" he said, cutting her off.  
  
"You're-you're not?" she asked, surprised.

"No, Clarke" he said, shifting to his side, "I'm not mad. So whatever you want to say, save it."  
  
"But-"  
  
"I've had a long day. I don't feel like talking" he said, cutting her off again.  
  
"Okay" she sighed. Well, at least he wasn't mad at her anymore. That meant something, right?

* * *

 

The next few days, it seemed like he went out of his way to avoid her. The only time she ever really saw him was in the throne room during meals. And every time she tried to talk to him, about anything, he'd shrug it off with barely a comment. Every night, she fell asleep waiting for him to join her. In the morning, he'd leave before she could even get a chance to talk to him.  
  
She tried to understand. He needed space. He still hadn't said anything about Finn. And she'd seen him every night at dinner, so she knew he was okay.  
  
But she found herself growing more and more inpatient. At some point, she started to feel angry. Was he just going to ignore her for the rest of their lives?  
  
On the fifth night, she finally had enough. She forced herself to stay awake, waiting for him. When he finally showed up, he looked surprised and disappointed to find her sitting by the fireplace in their room, sketching in her book.  
  
He gave her a nod in acknowledgement and got ready for bed.  
  
She wasn't sure how to initiate the conversation, so she got in after him. He ignored her and turned his back, just like she knew he would.  
  
"Look, I know you need space. I get that" she said, "but you can't just ignore me forever."  
  
"I'm not ignoring you."  
  
That pissed her off. She knew he was lying.  
  
"Who's the liar now?" she said before she could stop herself.  
  
"Still you, as far as I'm concerned" he said with an edge to his voice.

She sighed. It was the wrong way to start the conversation. The last thing she wanted was to fight with him. But even arguing was better than being ignored.  
  
"Will you just talk to me? I know you're mad, and I know you have a right to be. But at least talk to me about it!"  
  
"I don't really feel like talking."  
  
"Well I do! And I've respected your wishes for the past few days but I'm tired of being ignored."  
  
He sighed.  
  
"I have to be up early tomorrow, so I'd really like to sleep."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'll be leaving in the morning. I have to visit a few places. I won't be back for a few days."  
  
"Can I come with you?"  
  
"No"  
  
She sighed again. "Why? Why can't I come?"  
  
"Because I don't want you to."  
  
She didn't have anything to say to that. What was there to say, anyway? He'd made it clear that he didn't care if she stayed or not. And now he didn't want her to come with him, wherever it was that he was going.

She turned to her side. She wasn't sure who she was more angry with. Him, for ignoring her or herself for being upset about the fact that he didn't want her company.

* * *

 

The next three days passed agonizingly slow.  
  
Clarke tried to keep herself busy. At some point, she stumbled across a library and asked one of the guards to tell her about this place, about their history.  
  
She spent time training, trying to work off some of the nervous energy that was making it hard for her to sleep. She spent time with her friends.  
  
But even so, the thought of Bellamy and what he was doing still lingered.  
  
At night, she found it hard to sleep alone. No, it wasn't like they'd actually _slept_ together. They had stayed on opposite ends of the bed, but his presence had become comforting. Now, all she could feel was the cold, empty space where he usually slept.  
  
She was a little surprised by how much she actually _missed_ him. Yeah, he'd been ignoring her for the past few days. But she had become accustomed to his constant presence. And now, she was alone.  
  
She found herself thinking about the three days they'd spent alone at the cottage more than she'd care to admit. She missed the sound of his voice, teasing her. She missed the look in his eye when he laughed and the way he ran his hand through his hair, leaving it messy.  
  
Her thoughts and the realization that she actually missed him scared her a little. She wasn't sure when she had started to care for him, worry about him instead of worrying about what he'd do or say.  
  
On the third night, Octavia finally noticed.  
  
"What's got you so down?" she asked, but not in a tone that implied she actually cared. "Missing your lawfully wedded?" 

For a second, Clarke wanted to snap at her. But she thought better of it. Octavia didn't seem as lenient as Bellamy. And yeah, Clarke was the queen so she could probably talk to anyone however she wanted, but something told her that making Octavia an enemy was the last thing that she should do.  
  
"Yeah, actually" Clarke answered honestly, looking Octavia right in the eye. Challenging her.  
  
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have been a deceitful little wench."  
  
Clarke glared at her. She wasn't surprised that Bellamy had told her. They didn't seem like they type of people who kept things from one another. Either way, Octavia's words pissed her off. Yeah, she'd lied to Bellamy. Yeah, he had a right to be upset. But Octavia?  
  
"I'm still the queen" Clarke said, getting up. "Don't talk to me like that."  
  
Octavia looked a little surprised by what Clarke had said. For a second, Clarke felt a little satisfied. She left without another word.  
  
The next night, Bellamy finally came back. Clarke and Octavia were eating dinner, not talking to one another, when he entered the throne room.  
  
Clarke felt a little embarrassed by the feelings that were washing over her; relief and longing. She shook her head to compose herself, remembering that she wasn't supposed to feel that way.  
  
He joined them at the table as the others bowed in acknowledgment.

Bellamy greeted the room and sat down to eat. Octavia waited a few minutes before asking him about his trip.  
  
"It was fine" he said.  
  
Octavia nodded but didn't ask him anything else. Clarke figured that she probably knew about where he'd gone and why while she herself remained in the dark.  
  
_No matter._ He'd have to talk to her tonight. She wouldn't take no for an answer.  
  
"Finn" Bellamy called suddenly. Finn turned from his spot at the table and almost all of the Sky People went quiet. "Come here."  
  
Finn rose as Clarke fought the urge to ask Bellamy about what was going on.  
  
"Yes?" Finn asked, standing a few feet from the table.  
  
"You'll be leaving the day after tomorrow, so pack any items you own and say your goodbyes" Bellamy said, looking impassive.  
  
"What? Why?" Finn asked.  
  
"You know why. Don't ask such foolish questions" Bellamy said.  
  
"Where am I going?" 

"My guards will be taking you to a village about a day's travel from here. The people there will be expecting you. You'll have a place to live. Work. I don't want you here but I will allow you to visit every few weeks, for the sake of your friends."  
  
Finn looked shocked, angry.  
  
"You agreed to this?" he asked, glaring at Clarke.  
  
"She had no say" Bellamy said, "and don't speak to her with that kind of tone. I'm doing you a kindness. If it were up to me, I'd have you sent back to the Commander's lands. Or worse."  
  
"And if I refuse?" Finn asked, still looking at Clarke.  
  
"I apologize if I made it seem as if you have a choice. You can either go where I'm sending you or be taken back to where you came from."  
  
"Fine" Finn said, finally turning to look at Bellamy.  
  
"But Finn" he said, his tone turning threatening "if I hear one word about you causing trouble or disobeying my orders, I won't think twice before ordering an execution. Do you understand?"  
  
Finn nodded.  
  
Bellamy dismissed him with a wave of his hand and Finn left the room.

Clarke didn't know what to say. Part of her felt a little sad because despite all of the things Finn had done, she was sure that he had a good heart. The other part felt relieved because despite all of the things Finn had done, he was allowed to stay here. He wouldn't be sent back. It was more than she could hope for.  
  
"I need a drink" Bellamy said, getting up. He made his way towards the table her friends were at and talked to Monty for a few minutes. He came back to their table while Monty went to the kitchen, coming back with what Clarke assumed was his moonshine. He gave Bellamy the bottle and he poured himself and Octavia a glass.  
  
"Want some?" he asked, looking over at Clarke.  
  
"No, thank you" she said. It felt formal and stiff. He only shrugged.  
  
Eventually she finished her dinner and left the room. Octavia and Bellamy had migrated to one of the other tables, joined by Monty, Miller, Raven and Jasper. Clarke took one last glance at them before leaving the room. They looked like a group of friends. It made her a little sad. She should join them. She should want to join them. But she didn't.  
  
Upstairs, she took a long bath and tried not to think of Finn, or Bellamy. Or anyone else for that matter.  
  
For some reason, she thought about Wells. She wondered how he would have reacted to all of this, if he'd fit in.  
She put on a long black nightgown and climbed into bed. She willed her muscles to relax, focusing on relaxing each part of her anatomy piece by piece. But to no avail. 

She was still wide awake when she heard Bellamy come to their room. He went into the bathroom and she tried to fall asleep while he took a bath. But the more she longed for it, the more awake she felt.  
  
"Hey" he said, climbing into bed.  
  
She got a little distracted by his bare chest, the muscles on his body and his tan skin before responding with her own _'hi'._  
  
He laid on his back and sighed.  
  
"I'm letting him live. And I'm not banishing him. Isn't that enough?" he asked.  
  
"What?" she asked, a little confused.  
  
"Finn" he said, turning on his side to face her.  
  
"Oh" she said, shaking her head a little. "Right. Yeah, uh, thanks for that."  
  
He looked confused. "Isn't that why you're upset with me?"  
  
"I'm not upset with you" she said, turning to face him. _What the hell is he talking about?_  
  
"Oh" he said, "I just figured you were."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You have a sad look on your face. You have, all night."  
  
She didn't know what to say to that. She was a little surprised that he noticed.  
  
"Why?" he asked. His eyes were a little glassy. He must've drank enough moonshine to get a little drunk, but not as drunk as he had been weeks ago.

"Nothing in particular" she lied.  
  
"Come on, just tell me" he said.  
  
"Why should I? You've been ignoring me for days. And-and you didn't want to talk to me when I asked. You didn't even want me to come with you."  
  
"Yes, because I needed some time to think. And to decide on what to do with that piece of shit you call a friend" he said.  
  
"Well, I guess I need some time to think now" she asked, getting a little pissed.  
  
"You ask because you want to know what's going on" he said, "I ask because I care for you and I don't like seeing you sad."  
  
Clarke stopped short. _What? Did he really just admit that he cares about me?_  
  
"And you don't think I care about you?" she asked.  
  
"Not particularly" he said with a half-smile.  
  
"Well, I do" she said, looking away.  
  
"Okay then. Why are you sad?"  
  
"I'm not sad" she said, shaking her head. "Actually, I-I kind of missed you..." _W_ _hat the fuck?! Why did I just say that?!_ She could feel her chest and her face warming up.  
  
He laughed. 

She turned to glare at him, embarrassed. "What's so funny?"  
  
"If you need something, just tell me. You don't have to lie and tell me what you think I want to hear in order to get back in my good graces."  
  
She felt even angrier than before. How the hell could he say something like that?  
  
"Fuck you, Bellamy. You're a fucking asshole" she said.  
  
"Maybe so. But at least you know I'm being honest."  
  
That stung. She felt like her heart had skipped a beat. And to her embarrassment, she felt angry tears making her vision blur.  
  
She turned back on her side, facing away from him, not wanting to look at him for a second longer.  
  
She hope he would say something. Take it back. Apologize. Maybe even reach out.  
  
He didn't.

* * *

 

Surprisingly, Finn left quietly.  
  
He said his goodbyes, promising that he'd be back soon. A few people seemed sad to see him go, but for the most part, they were relieved. Clarke figured they must have found out why he was being sent away. She only hoped that he learned his lesson, that he wouldn't cause any trouble.  
  
She was the last person he said goodbye to. And she tried not to flinch when he told her that he loved her and that he'd be back.  
  
"Stay out of trouble" was all she said back. He looked hurt, but she couldn't find it in herself to feel bad about it.  
  
Bellamy had gone back to ignoring her, but she didn't try to fight it anymore. She ignored him, too.  
  
Two days after Finn left, she was walking to town with Monty and Jasper when they asked her about what it was like, being married to Bellamy.  
  
"It's not so bad" Clarke said. And it wasn't. They had gone from strangers, maybe even enemies to allies. To possibly even friends. But that was washed away by the Finn thing. And now they were ships passing in the night.  
  
"He's so cool" Jasper said. And then he went on to tell Clarke about the night that Bellamy had drank with them, the stories he told.

Clarke felt a little bitter. They all seemed to like him. And it wasn't like she didn't want them to, but her own personal feelings about Bellamy were making it difficult to listen to Jasper and Monty talk about how _cool_ he was.  
  
They stayed in town for a while, and Clarke veered off to look around alone for a while when she came upon a book that caught her attention. The vendor was an older gentleman, and the items he was selling were totally random. He had everything from books to animal skin to candles.  
  
Clarke picked the book up and looked through it for a few minutes before purchasing it. Yeah, she was still mad at Bellamy. But she couldn't resist the opportunity.  
  
That night, she waited for him in their chambers while she looked around a bit.  
  
He came in eventually, and after he didn't even acknowledge her she thought about throwing the book in a corner and never mentioning it again.  
  
He went to their bedroom and she stayed in the other one for a little while longer, contemplating about if she should give him the gift or not.  
  
_What the hell. We have to talk eventually.  
_  
She went into their room and found him sitting on the loveseat, reading a book.  
  
"So I went to town today" she said, standing by the fireplace.  
  
"Yeah?" he said, not looking up.

"I got you something" she said. And she tried not to smile. She was still upset with him, still angry about what he said. But she couldn't help it. This is gonna be good, she thought.  
  
He finally looked up. He seemed a little surprised.  
  
She went to her side of the room and got the book out of her bag. She walked back to where he was sitting and wordlessly handed him the book.  
  
_The King Must Die_ by Mary Renault.  
  
He studied to cover for a minute, a smile playing at his lips.  
  
"How fitting" he said, opening the book.  
  
"It's about Theseus, the Greek-"  
  
"I know who Theseus is" he said, finally looking up at her. "Thank you" he said, giving her a real smile for the first time in days.  
  
"You're welcome" she said. She felt a little awkward just standing there. She made a move to leave but he grabbed her hand, making her stay.  
  
"Really" he said, "thank you. You didn't have to."  
  
"I know...but I couldn't resist" she said, looking down at his hand. Their hands were complete opposites. Her's was pale, small, her skin smooth. His was tan, large and rough.  
  
"I'm sorry" he said, "About what I said the other night. It was rude. I know that I can be an asshole. I'm working on it, I swear. I really am sorry."  
  
"Wow. If I would have know a book could-" she began, fighting a smile.

He let go of her hand, playfully shoving it from his. "Shut up. I mean it. And not because of the book. I was being a dick. And I apologize."  
  
"It's okay" she said, "And I-I'm sorry too. For...for not telling you about Finn. And thank you for letting him stay. It means a lot to me."  
  
He nodded.  
  
Clarke felt awkward again, so she decided it was time for bed.  
  
It wasn't long before he joined her. She was almost asleep when she felt him shift and come closer to her.  
  
He moved until he was beside her, not as close as he'd been that morning in the cottage but closer than he'd ever been before then. She could feel his arm moving underneath the covers.  
  
She felt it wrap around her middle.  
  
She opened her eyes in the darkness, completely surprised by his closeness and the feeling of his arm draped around her waist.  
  
"Is this okay?" he whispered from behind her.  
  
"Yeah" she whispered back, putting her hand on top of his, "It's okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all of the comments and messages I've received for this fic. You all inspire me :) So THANK YOU for continuing to read and for the feedback. You're the best! <3
> 
> Soo...progress! From "it was for warmth" (HAH!) to "is this okay?"!!! What's next? ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this two days early because yall are literally the best???
> 
> Just a warning; this chapter contains smut. So if that's not your thing....you might wanna skim through the middle part of this chapter ;)
> 
> Also, I apologize in advance for what happens in this chapter.

In the morning, his arm was still wrapped around her. But at some point, she must have scooted back because she could feel his body pressed firmly against hers.  
  
They were no longer lying on the opposite sides of the bed. They met in the middle.  
  
She felt momentarily happy, content. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept with someone like this, if ever.  
  
A slow blush crept up her chest when she realized she could feel him hard against her lower back.  
  
 _It's natural, of course._ She knew that. In fact, she was a little surprised that this hadn't happened sooner. They had been sleeping in the same bed for quite some time.   
  
She slowly made her way out from under him, getting out of the bed, trying to spare them both the embarrassment of that situation. He stirred a little but didn't wake. _Thank god._  
  
She went down to the throne room for breakfast after changing. Octavia wasn't at her regular spot at their table, instead she was leaning against the one her friends were at.   
  
"Clarke!" Jasper yelled, "We're going on a trip. Wanna come?"   
  
"Where are you going?" Clarke asked, walking up to stand beside Octavia.  
  
"There's this place Octavia wants to take us" Jasper said.

Clarke looked at Octavia. She wanted to go but she wasn't sure if she was really invited.  
  
"It's just a little hike. There's a waterfall and shit" Octavia said, shrugging.  
  
"Okay, sure. If you don't mind" Clarke said raising an eyebrow in question.  
  
"Why would I mind?" Octavia replied, looking a little annoyed.  
  
Clarke shrugged. Even though Octavia was getting along with the rest of the delinquents...she and Clarke still hadn't really gotten a chance to know each other.   
  
After eating breakfast, she went to get her backpack since Octavia said it'd be a good idea to bring a change of clothes. Clarke was pretty excited, hoping she'd get the chance to swim again.  
  
"Where are you going?" Bellamy asked, leaning against the door frame to the bathroom.  
  
"Octavia's taking us on a hike. She said there's a waterfall or something" she said, finding it a little hard to look at him. He was still shirtless and his hair was sticking up at random angles. And he looked so damn cute, nothing like Clarke imagined a king should look like.  
  
"Have fun" he said, smiling a little.  
  
"Thanks" she replied, walking past him and leaving the room.

She wasn't sure why she felt so different around him. Then again, he had willingly held her last night. He'd never done that before. She felt like things between them had shifted and they were standing on the edge of something. She wasn't sure which way she wanted to go.  
  
She met up with Octavia, Raven, Monty, Jasper and Miller. They set out and within two hours, they reached the place Octavia had told them about.  
  
The scenery took Clarke's breath away. The waterfall was huge, but the river below it wasn't very deep. There were plenty of rocks for them to perch on and jump from.  
  
She spent the day by the river with her friends, wading in the water.  
  
The water was freezing, but at some point Raven convinced her to stand underneath the waterfall with the others.   
  
_This is what Earth should be like,_ she thought, watching Monty and Miller taking turns to see who could stand under the waterfall the longest.   
  
They were all at ease, laughing and enjoying themselves.  
  
Summer had turned to Autumn, but if anything, it was even more beautiful than before. Everywhere she looked, Clarke saw shades of orange, yellow, red and brown. She wished that she had brought her sketchbook. There was no way her few color pencils would do the actual scenery any justice, but she wanted to try. 

Her sketchbook had become something of a memory sanctuary. She realized, looking through it the other day, that she wasn't drawing anything other than things she wanted to remember; pieces in time that were so special, it would be a crime for her to forget them. Bellamy's hands when he handed her the package containing her sketchbook, the way the castle looked in the summer, Raven's face that afternoon they spent on a blanket below the tree, her mother, the cottage. She'd added others in her free time; Murphy's bloody knuckles after training, Miller feeding the chicken's they kept in a coop behind the castle.   
  
She'd added a few more of Bellamy, mostly from their time in the cottage. The way he held a book with both hands as he read, the smile on his face when she would guess his words right while they played their little game. His back, wide and sprinkled with freckles. There was even one of Octavia.  
  
One afternoon during lunch, Octavia grabbed a bowl full of raspberries and placed one on each finger. She held the hand in front of her face, showing Bellamy. He rolled his eyes, but the image stuck with Clarke for some reason. That night she drew Octavia's face, peeking through the hand she held up, a bright red raspberry on each finger.  
  
After her swim, Clarke perched on one of the rocks and tried to untangle her hair. It had grown a lot in past two months, almost reaching the bottom of her rib cage. She sighed in frustration, wishing she'd thought to bring a comb.  
  
"Hey" Octavia said, sitting down on a rock adjacent to hers. "Want some help?"  
  
Clarke studied her for a few moments, trying to figure out what angle she was playing.  
  
Octavia noticed and rolled her eyes.  
  
"Want me to cut it for you?" she asked.  
  
"You have scissors?" Clarke asked, unsure.

"No, but I have my sword" Octavia said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Clarke thought about it. Her hair was longer than she'd ever had it. And it would be nice to get a trim, but she wasn't sure about how comfortable she was having Octavia's sword so close to her body.  
  
"Sure" she finally said, shrugging "What the hell? I could use a trim."  
  
Octavia nodded and went to get her sword. After she came back, she separated Clarke's hair into three sections; on her left, her right, and down her back.  
  
Octavia grabbed a fist full in the back and before Clarke could say anything, she slashed through it with he sword.  
  
Clarke's hand went to the back of her head. She stopped short when she realize just how much Octavia had cut off.  
  
"What the hell, Octavia? I said I wanted a trim!" she yelled.  
  
Octavia shrugged and grabbed the hair on Clarke's left side.  
  
"Stay still if you want it to be even...or if you like having both ears" Octavia said, smirking.

After she was done, Clarke felt a little shocked. Her hair stopped at her collar bones. She'd never had it that short before.  
  
"Oh my god" she said, "if I would have known you'd cut so much off I never would have agreed!"  
  
"Come on, it looks good" Octavia said, shrugging.  
  
Clarke wasn't sure. And it wasn't like she had a mirror so she couldn't even tell if Octavia was being serious or not. Clarke was pretty sure that Octavia had done it on purpose, maybe in the hopes of making Clarke look ridiculous.  
  
She tried to look at her reflection in the water, but she couldn't really get a clear imagine of what she looked like. She decided to wait until she saw what it looked like in an actual mirror before yelling at Octavia again.  
  
Octavia gave Monty and Jasper haircuts too. But unlike Clarke, they actually got _trims_. When Octavia was finished with Jasper, she looked at Raven, raising her eyebrow.  
  
"Oh no" Raven, shaking her head, "Don't even think about it."  
  
"Come on!" Octavia yelled, "They all look so good!"  
  
"And I don't?" Raven asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Point taken" Octavia said, smirking.  
  
Clarke was pretty sure that they were flirting. They'd been doing that more and more lately. And the only other person that Octavia smiled at so much was her brother.

Eventually, they had to head back. By the time they reached the castle, the sun had almost set.  
  
Clarke was starving, but she decided to go to her room so that she could wash up before dinner. But mostly she just wanted to look in a mirror.  
  
She went straight to her vanity table as soon as she got to her room.  
  
She was a little surprised by the girl she saw looking back at her.  
  
Octavia was right. It looked good. Really good, actually. Her blonde hair was wavy and clean, and it framed her face perfectly. She kind of felt like a brand new person. She didn't know haircuts could do that.  
  
She took a bath and got ready for dinner. In a moment of sheer giddiness, she decided to wear something other than her typical shirt and pants combo. Searching through her dresser, she settled on something she thought she'd never wear. But she'd felt so different with the haircut, so maybe it was fitting that she picked up a long black dress and put it on. The neckline plunged a little, and the material was soft and light. It was a plain dress. The most notable thing about it was the slit on the side that came up a little past the middle of her thigh.  
  
She picked up a thin gold necklace that she'd gotten as a present when she got married. It took a few minutes, but she clasped it behind her neck.

She looked at herself in the mirror again. The girl staring back was almost unrecognizable. She'd gained weight, her face round and her breasts full. Her face gotten a little tanner in the past few days and her hair was lighter than she'd ever seen it. The girl looking back looked like a queen.  
  
She made her way to the throne room in good spirits. Once inside, she walked straight to her table. She noticed a few people turning to look at her, and not looking away a second later, like usual.   
  
A few of her friends actually did a double-take. The thought made her want to blush. But she'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it.   
  
Once she was close enough to look at Bellamy and Octavia seated before her, Clarke was reminded of the ways in which they looked like one another. Both of them had stopped talking, both of their mouths were slightly parted in surprise. Both of them had their eyebrows raised, just a fraction. Clarke tried not to laugh.  
  
They looked away at the same time, too.  
  
Clarke sat down and tried not to blush. It was pretty flattering, she had to admit.  
  
"You cut your hair" Bellamy finally said, after a few minutes of silence.  
  
"Actually, Octavia cut it for me" she said, meeting his eye.  
  
"You're welcome" Octavia said from Bellamy's other side, a smile playing at her lips.  
  
"Oh" Bellamy said. He cleared his throat and in a much quieter voice he added, "It looks nice."

"Thank you" Clarke replied, now blushing in earnest. It wasn't like she'd never received a compliment before. She had. But something about the way he said it made her look away.  
  
She poured herself a glass of wine, figuring that it'd probably help her relax a little.  
  
"Did you have fun today?" he asked, still looking at her.  
  
"Yeah, um, it-it was fun" she said, taking a long sip from her glass. "It's a really pretty place. I'd like to go again."  
  
"Well maybe I'll take you, next time" he said, smiling a little.  
  
"It's not too far. I think I can manage going by myself" she said. She hoped he understood that she was teasing him.  
  
"Ah, yes. I'm sure you could."  
  
"Maybe next time, I'll take you."  
  
He smiled, taking a sip of his own wine.  
  
"I'd like that" he said, turning back to face the crowd.  
  
 _What the hell...are we flirting...or?_ Clarke thought.  
  
"I'm gonna head out" Octavia said, "You two...enjoy your night."  
  
Clarke felt herself blush again. It was stupid. Octavia only wished them a good night. It wasn't like she was implying anything. _Or was she?_

"I don't think I've ever seen you in a dress before" Bellamy said after Octavia had left.  
  
"I was in a dress when we got married, you know. But then again, I'm sure you had more important things on your mind than my wedding gown."  
  
"No, I remember" he said, "What I meant to say was that I don't think I've ever seen you in a dress voluntarily."  
  
Clarke laughed a little, taking another long sip of her wine. It seemed to be helping; she was feeling a lot more relaxed.  
  
"So, I've been thinking" she began, "I need like...a job or something."  
  
"You're the queen."  
  
"Yes, but you actually have things to do. I haven't done much of anything. I have a lot of spare time on my hands so I'd like to do something productive with it."  
  
"Well, I've got to admit I'm a little surprised. Queens don't typically ask for work" he said, smirking at her.   
  
"Well I don't want to be a 'typical' queen."  
  
"I can see that. Tell me, what would you like to do?"  
  
"Do you guys have like...any sort of medical place in the village? Where do people go for medicine and healing?"

"We have a healer here in the castle. There are quarters designated for that sort of thing. I'm surprised Octavia didn't mention it."  
  
"No, she didn't."  
  
"Well that's where we go. The people from the village beneath us come here as well. Is that something you'd like to do?"  
  
"Yeah" she said, "I'd like that."  
  
"Okay then. I'll take you to him in the morning."  
  
Clarke smiled at him. She wasn't sure why everything seemed so normal between them, after what had happened in the last week or so. But she wasn't about to question him.  
  
Eventually, the room had cleared. Clarke and Bellamy remained, along with a small group of their friends. They sat at one of the tables at first, before deciding to move their party to a different location. Almost everyone was a little drunk on wine, so they naturally thought it'd be a good idea to go to the training room and fight one another.  
  
Octavia had joined them at some point. Raven asked her if she'd like to fight again and now Clarke sat on one of the tables that had been pushed to the side, watching the two girls circle one another.  
  
She thought about that first time they fought. She was sure that Raven had gotten better. She trained with Octavia all the time. The muscles in her legs and arms were prominent through her clothes.  
  
"You scared?" Octavia asked.  
  
Raven remained quiet. A challenging look in her eye.  
  
"Trying to be brave for our audience?" Octavia said, giving Raven a not-actually-friendly smile.  
  
"Come on Raven" Monty yelled from the sidelines, "We believe in you!"  
  
"Yeah!" Miller shouted, "Kick her ass!"  
  
Octavia laughed. 

Raven took the opportunity to swing at Octavia, who must have expected it because she ducked faster than Clarke thought was possible.   
  
They went on like that for a few minutes. But this time, Octavia kept missing too.   
  
Clarke could see her growing agitated. Honestly, it made Clarke smile. Octavia could be knocked down a notch or two; and Raven was the best girl for the job.  
  
Eventually Bellamy made his way from Miller's side over to hers.   
  
"Not gonna try and stop them this time?" he teased, sitting down next to her.  
  
"No" Clarke said, smiling. "I'm pretty sure Raven might be able to take her, this time."  
  
"You know, you may be right" he said, watching the two girls.  
  
Suddenly Octavia lashed out and tried to hit Raven. She missed. But this time, Raven took the opportunity to slide slightly to the left and reach out to grab Octavia by the shoulders. When she had a good grip, she shoved Octavia towards the floor while simultaneously sweeping her leg under Octavia's; knocking her feet out from under her.  
  
Octavia landed on the floor with a loud thud.  
  
"What?" Raven asked from above her, "Nothing left to say? No jokes? No taunts?"  
  
Octavia silently rose to her feet.  
  
Clarke hated to admit it, but she liked watching them. She was never one for fighting, and real fights made her want to throw up. But watching those two kind of pretend-fight was more like watching two people dance than actually fight. 

They were both slim and toned. Their hair whipping side to side as they danced around one another in the center of the room. Clarke felt a little mesmerized.   
  
"You wanna go after them?" Bellamy asked.  
  
"What? No" Clarke said, shaking her head. "I'm wearing a dress."  
  
"Believe me, I noticed."  
  
Clarke fought a smile, looking down at where his hand was only a few inches away from hers on the table. _Why the hell is he being so flirtatious tonight? Do I really look that nice?_   
  
He'd flirted with her before, it wasn't like it was anything new. But something about the way he looked at her when she walked into the throne room and continued to do so throughout the night made it feel different from the other nights.  
  
 _Wow, it must really be the hair._  
  
"It looks..." he began. She noticed his adam's apple bob a bit before he swallowed "...really good." His eyes traveled down to the slit in the dress, exposing her pale thigh.  
  
"Th-thanks" Clarke said a little quietly. The look on his face, a little dark and a little hungry, made her stomach clench. Suddenly, she felt very hot. Beads of sweat coated her palms and the back of her neck. 

A loud thud broke Clarke out of the little trance she had been in. She looked up and saw Raven lying on the ground, Octavia on top of her. She had Raven pinned to the ground, her hands on the other girls shoulders.

Octavia was basically sitting on Raven, smiling down at her.  
  
"Nice job, sky girl" Octavia said.  
  
And Clarke could swear that she saw Raven bite down on her lower lip.  
  
"Okay, I think it's time for me to go" Bellamy said.  
  
The guys on the other side of the room nodded in agreement and filed out of the room.   
  
Octavia got up and reached down to help Raven get to her feet. They stood there, looking at one another. The air in the room changed; it felt tense. Clarke took that as her cue to leave. She followed Bellamy out of the room, leaving the two girls staring at one another.  
  
For some reason, she started feeling nervous on the way to their quarters. Bellamy walked a few feet ahead of her and she stared at his back the entire way there.   
  
He went straight to the bedroom and she followed, feeling like she could throw up from anticipation. What she was anticipating, she wasn't sure.   
  
He went to his side and she went to hers. Figuring that the sooner she went to bed, the better. She turned away from him and looked through her dresser for something to wear. She settled on a thick shirt and a pair of long, soft pants. She put the clothes to the side.  
  
Her hands went to the back of her neck, trying to unclasp the necklace she'd put on. It was then that she noticed her hands were shaking a bit.  
  
"Here" Bellamy said, walking towards her side of the room, "Let me."  
  
She turned to face the north wall. He came up behind her and she could practically feel the heat radiating off of his body, making her feel even hotter than before.  
  
She felt a little chill run down her spine as his hands grazed over the back of her neck, pushing her hair forward so that he could get his hands on the necklace.

And he felt so, so close to her now. She closed her eyes for a second, feeling the heat pool in her belly.  
  
Before she knew what she was doing, she leaned back into him. A little thrill ran through her at the closeness.  
  
He unclasped the necklace but made no move to back away. She heard it hit the floor a second before he placed his hand on her hip, his fingers digging in to her hipbone.  
  
She leaned her head back until she felt his collarbone at the back of her skull. She wasn't sure when she made the decision to arch her back, but she did, and suddenly she could feel the rough material of his belt and his pants pressed up against her.  
  
His grip on her hip became a little stronger at the sensation.  
  
She heard him let out a little sigh, his lips dangerously close to her ear.  
  
She arched her back a little more and leaned her head slightly to the right, leaving her neck exposed before him, hoping he'd get the message.  
  
His breath was hot, she felt it just below her ear. He lowered his head a little and placed his lips on her neck.  
  
"You're drunk" he mumbled against her skin.  
  
It wasn't what she wanted to hear. She wiggled her hips a little.  
  
"So are you" she whispered as his other hand settled on her left side, traveling up her torso much too slow for her taste.

"Yes but that's different" he whispered back. To her surprise, his left hand kept going until he reached her left breast. She let out a little sigh when he finally grabbed it, cupping it in his large hand.  
  
He gave it a little squeeze before putting his lips back on her neck, kissing it slowly all the way down to her shoulder blade.  
  
She reached behind her to run her hands through his hair, urging him on. It was softer than she'd imagined it would be.  
  
"Bellamy..." she whispered.  
  
His hand moved from her breast to the strap of the dress located on her shoulder. He pulled it down until her breast was exposed. His hand moved back down and he grabbed it a little rougher than before.  
  
She let a small moan at the contact.   
  
"Clarke...you're drunk" he said. His voice came out a lot shakier, a lot rougher than usual.   
  
The hand she had in his hair pushed his head back up a little until she felt his lips on her neck again. _Yeah, I am a little drunk but I don't care. Just shut up and fuck me,_ she thought. She wanted to say it, she prepared to just as he pulled away again.  
  
"I can't fuck you. You're drunk" he whispered in her ear.  
  
But his other hand traveled up to the side of her other shoulder, and pulling the other strap down until her right breast was exposed too.  
  
He placed his hand back on her hip, pressing her even closer to him.  
  
She turned her head towards him, and with her eyes closed, she kissed Bellamy Blake for the first time. Really kissed him. Not like the peck he'd given her at their wedding.  
  
His tongue slid into her mouth and his left hand moved from her breast to her neck, his fingers wrapping around it as he deepened the kiss.  
  
The throb between her legs was almost painful by that point.  
  
"Touch me" she whispered against his lips.  
  
The hand that had been on her hip traveled down until it reached the slit in her dress. He ran a hand down across her exposed leg, stopping when it was over the skin on the inside of her thigh. 

Slowly, painfully slowly, it went up and up until he reached her center. He cupped her for a second before running his hand up and down her core over her panties.  
  
For a second, Clarke felt a little embarrassed. There was no way he couldn't feel how wet she was, even through her panties.   
  
The thought left as soon as the tips of his fingers went underneath the thin fabric of her underwear.  
  
He let out a low moan, more of a growl really, against her neck when his fingers made contact with the wetness gathered between her thighs.  
  
The grip he had on her neck became a little tighter as he shifted to kiss her mouth again.   
  
His middle finger moved up and down between her folds, spreading the heat and wetness around.   
  
She bit his bottom lip, tired of the teasing. She let go a second after he inserted the tip of his middle finger inside her.   
  
He roughly bit her bottom lip as it went all the way in.  
  
She shuddered at the sensation.  
  
They stayed standing in the same position as he kept going, giving her another finger.   
  
She was finding it hard to breath.   
  
Her breaths became rapid and shallow as her muscles went rigid. She let out another moan; this one louder and more needy than the ones before it.  
  
"I-I need..." she whispered against his lips.  
  
"Shh.." he whispered back, "I know what you need."  
  
He slid his fingers out of her and brought them up to her clit, roughly rubbing small circles into it. She felt her muscles coil as he went faster, pushing her over the edge.  
  
The grip he had on her neck kept her upright as she reeled forward a bit. Her legs shook with each wave as she tried to keep her moans quiet. He bit down on her shoulder and all thoughts of keeping quiet vanished. She couldn't help it.   
  
When she came back down, he took his hand out from under her dress and backed away until she couldn't feel him behind her anymore.  
  
They slept on opposite sides of the bed that night.

* * *

 

In the morning, Clarke silently left their room before Bellamy woke up.  
  
She knew that he told her he'd take her to the healer, and while she wanted him to, she didn't really want to talk to or look at him after last night.  
  
Yeah, it was hot. Yeah, she'd wanted it.  
  
But the wine had made her feel more confident than she actually was. How the hell was she supposed to look him in the eye after what they'd done?  
  
She knew there was some sexual tension between them. She'd felt it for the first time that night they fought in the training room. But she never thought it'd go anywhere, even if they were married.  
  
And what the hell was she supposed to do now? What was he thinking? How did he feel? Was he embarrassed, too? _Oh my god...what if he's not? What if this was a casual thing for him?_   
  
_Fuck my life,_ she thought. She wasn't sure what was worse; him feeling just as uncomfortable as she was with their new 'relationship'...or if he wasn't uncomfortable at all, if it was all just casual and physical to him. _Scratch that_ , she thought, _that's definitely much, much worse._ An awkward phase of their relationship they could work through...but him thinking this was just casual?  
  
She spent her day going out of her way to avoid him. She didn't even go to the throne room for meals. In fact, she spent the entire day by herself in a secluded part of the castle, sneaking food from the kitchen in between meals.  
  
She waited until she knew it was well past midnight before going back to their room.

Tip-toeing into the room, she quietly got ready for bed after taking a little peek at him. His back was turned so she wasn't sure if he was asleep or not.  
  
She crawled into bed and turned on her side.  
  
"So, is there a reason you've been avoiding me all day?"  
  
 _Shit._   
  
"What? No. I-I just had a busy day" she lied. It sounded terrible, even to her. There was no way he'd believe it.   
  
"Right" he sighed, turning on his back. "If you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to. But you don't have to avoid me."  
  
She didn't know what to say to that.  
  
"Don't make things weird between us. It happened."  
  
"I'm not trying to" she finally said, staying on her side. "But it is a little weird." What does it mean, for us? What happens now?  
  
"It doesn't have to be. It happened. Haven't you ever-" he started but didn't finish, letting the sentence trail off.  
  
 _Wow. So it was totally casual for him?_   
  
"It's not that I regret it...." she began, still not turning to face him. She felt too embarrassed to do so, especially now that he'd confirmed her suspicions about it being casual for him. She figured that he'd done things like that before. But it wasn't like that for her. The couple of people she'd been physical with were people she'd had feelings for. 

"Well I didn't think you would, if the way your legs shook was anything to go by."  
  
She could practically hear the smirk on his face before she turned to see it. _That fucking asshole._  
  
"Yeah well, don't get too excited" she said, a little pissed off, "I was drunk. It won't happen again."  
  
"Wow. Are you really implying that it only happened because you were a little drunk?"  
  
"Well it sure as hell wasn't your charm!" she yelled. She felt a little bad about it, a second later, because truthfully she wasn't really that drunk.  
  
But he didn't look phased or upset at what she was implying. He actually smiled.  
  
"Well, just for that" he began, "I'm gonna make you beg for it before I actually fuck you."  
  
She felt her cheeks flame.   
  
"If the day comes when I beg you to fuck me, you're gonna have a lot bigger problems. Considering the fact that on that day, hell would actually freeze over" she sneered. She turned on her back on his mocking smile.  
  
"We'll see about that" he said.  
  
She couldn't remember why she'd been so attracted to him. He was nothing but an arrogant, cocky asshole.  
  
_Fuck Bellamy Blake_ was the last thing she thought before falling asleep that night.

* * *

 

They went back to sleeping on opposite sides of the bed.  
  
He didn't bring that night up again, and she didn't either. She tried not to think about it, she hoped that the memory would fade and they could live out the rest of their days bickering and being rude to one another.  
  
She stopped trying to get to know him better.   
  
It was a little difficult, at first. Yeah, he told her that he cared about her. And she knew she cared about him, but she was pretty sure they cared for one another for different reasons. What had happened between them was purely physical, for him. The way he talked about it, like it was nothing, made her sure of it.  
  
And the fact that he didn't bring it up again or try to hold her stopped any second-guessing she'd been having about his intentions. Secretly, she'd been hoping that he'd reach out. Hold her. Maybe even kiss her and take things slow.  
  
The realization that he obviously didn't want that made her sad for days.  
  
Yeah, they were married. But like he said, it was an alliance. He didn't ask her to marry him out of love. _I never asked for you to love me_ , he'd said that night at the cottage. _I needed this alliance._ They'd become something like friends, and Clarke had to accept the fact that that's all they'd ever really be. He didn't see her in any other way. Not in the way she'd wanted him to.

He didn't notice how withdrawn she'd become after what had happened, and even if he did, he didn't say anything. After a week, Clarke had to accept that it was a one-time thing, that it really only happened because they were a little drunk and he'd found her attractive that night.  
  
She spent her days in the medicinal chambers, learning new things from their healer. It made it easier to avoid Bellamy and what had happened, so she couldn't complain.   
  
But at night, when she knew that he was only inches away, the feelings would resurface again and she considered reaching out first. But each time she decided to go for it, she stopped herself. Thinking about the way he brushed it off. She acted that way too, but the difference was that she only did that because of what he said, what he implied.  
  
He had no problem talking to her or looking her in the eye. She was the one who got all tongue tied when he smiled at her or looked at her for a little longer than necessary.  
  
She did her best to try and tease back, smile at him when he smiled at first. But she found it a lot easier to yell at him or voice her frustrations about something or other.  
  
One night, they went to the village to celebrate some sort of holiday. She found herself in a clearing, sitting on a log, staring at the massive bonfire at the center. She was pretty sure that they'd been married for over two, possibly even three months by that point.  
  
She looked around and noticed Octavia and Raven sitting a few feet away from her, laughing about something. They'd been spending more and more time together, and once, she was pretty sure that she had caught them holding hands. But Raven didn't say anything to her about it, so Clarke didn't ask.

She looked past them and saw Jasper talking to one of the grounder girls from the village, a smile on his face as she told him some story. He was spending a lot of time in the village lately, getting to know the girl.  
  
She turned to the other side and saw Miller and Monty sharing a cup of moonshine. Monty had told her about his crush on Miller and how he had planned to kiss him tonight under the premise of being very drunk in case Miller didn't feel the same way. But Clarke knew he did, and that he'd most definitely return the kiss.  
  
She tried to feel happy for her friends. It seemed like they'd all found someone they really liked, someone who liked them in return. But she couldn't stop herself from feeling jealous. Seeing as the person she wished was sitting by her was sitting with someone else.  
  
It was stupid. She thought she was past that, past childish feelings like jealousy. Being on the ground had made her realize that the only thing that was important was survival. She didn't have time to feel jealous, she was too busy trying to figure out how to survive the day, where she'd get her next meal and how to keep everyone alive.  
  
But now, they weren't under any threat. They had food, water, shelter. They could afford to go to town and spend their nights getting drunk at a bonfire with their friends.  
  
She was the only one that was down, and she hated herself for it. She should be feeling happy to be alive and taken care of. But she couldn't deny that it wasn't it enough, that she wanted more. She wanted what the others had.  
  
After watching Bellamy talk to, or what seemed more like flirt with, the same girl for over 20 minutes, she got up to leave. It was dark, but she knew the way back to the castle. She didn't want to spend time with her friends, she'd probably just bring them down and rain on their parade with her petty jealousy.  
  
She walked home alone, feeling even worse than she had been at the bonfire. She felt totally ridiculous when she felt the tears slipping down the sides of her face.   
  
What bothered her more than anything wasn't the fact that she was jealous. It was the fact that she finally let herself feel what she'd been feeling since she was locked up in the Sky Box: _alone._  
  
Yeah, her friends helped her get through their time on the ground. They consoled her, helped her make decisions. But the burden was on her to actually decide. She'd been the one to decide to kill all of those grounders. She killed Atom. She'd been the one to decide who was worth saving and who wasn't. She'd been the one to decide when someone was a lost cause.  
  
She had to bear it, so they didn't have to.  
  
But it left her totally and completely alone. She'd never had anyone to share the burden with. And even here, when she wasn't the one calling all of the shots, she was alone. The others seemed to move on a lot easier than she had. She still thought about all the people they lost. She still thought about all the people she'd killed.

* * *

 

She wasn't tired, despite the walk, so she went back to the healer's quarters to distract herself from her loneliness.  
  
She quizzed herself on the herbs, the antidotes and pretty much everything else she could think of until she got tired of it and made her way to her room. She took a bath, mostly for something to do and she stayed in the tub until the water got cold.  
  
By the time she finally crawled into bed, Bellamy had returned.  
  
"Hey" he said, "You left early. Why didn't you say anything?"   
  
_I'm surprised you noticed,_ she thought. But she only shrugged.  
  
He crawled in next to her, laying on his back.  
  
"Is everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah" she said, not bothering to face him. He'd turn around and fall asleep eventually, just like he'd been doing for the past few weeks.  
  
"Hey" he said again, placing a hand on her shoulder, "You can talk to me, you know that right?" It was the first time he had voluntarily touched her in weeks.  
  
"Yeah" she said again, feeling stupid for wanting to cry again.  
  
"What is it?" he asked as he pulled on her shoulder until she was on her back.  
  
"Nothing" she whispered, "I-I'm just not in a good mood, is all."  
  
"Why?"

"Nothing. It's stupid."  
  
"It's not stupid. If it makes you sad, it's not stupid."  
  
She looked away. She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes.  
  
"Talk to me" he whispered.  
  
"It's nothing" she whispered back, trying to keep her voice even.  
  
"Don't do that" he said, "Don't act like it's nothing. You're obviously upset about something."  
  
Yes, she was upset. But how the hell was she supposed to tell him that it was because she's been lonely for months? He would never understand. He didn't know what she'd been through.  
  
"Why...why don't you hold me anymore?" she asked, finally looking back at him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When we sleep... you don't hold me anymore" she said. It was such a stupid thing to say. She wasn't even sure why she'd said it.  
  
"I didn't think you wanted me to."  
  
She was tired of feeling lonely, of being alone. She'd been alone for months. They only time she felt close to another person where those two nights he'd held her.  
  
She lifted her head and kissed him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

But he didn't return it. When she pulled away to look at him, he looked confused.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked.  
  
"I...I-" she stuttered, feeling embarrassed.  
  
He shook his head and pulled away from her.  
  
Embarrassment and hurt washed over her, made a lump form in her throat. She got out from underneath the covers and crawled out of bed. The rejection making her face flame.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked, following her out of bed.  
  
"I just need some air" she said, walking towards the door.  
  
"Clarke" he said, grabbing her hand before she walked out of the door. "What's going on? Why are you acting like this?"  
  
"It's nothing" she said, not turning to face him.  
  
"You have got to stop saying that. Obviously it's something!"  
  
The anger in his voice made her turn around and yank her hand out of his grasp.  
  
"Well maybe I don't want to talk to you!"  
  
"Why? What the fuck have I done this time?"  
  
"You-you've..." she began, but found it hard to finish her sentence. There were so many things she wanted to say.   
  
"What?"  
  
"Why do you even care?"  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked, clearly angry now.

"You've done nothing but keep your distance from me for weeks! And now you actually care enough to ask?"  
  
"What the hell? How have I been distant? I talk to you every fucking day?"  
  
"Yeah, you talk to me. But not like you used to. You-you don't cuddle with me anymore. You don't even hold my hand!" she yelled. It felt so childish, so ridiculous. "And tonight, you spent all your time talking to another girl. You didn't even sit next to me!"  
  
"Wow. I wasn't flirting with anyone. Don't be so childish" he said, rolling his eyes.  
  
She felt more embarrassed than ever. _Why the hell did I just say that? Why did I admit those things?_  
  
"Fuck you" she said, angry tears blurring her vision. "Why the hell did you even ask if you were going to make me feel even shittier than before?"  
  
"I-I didn't mean to make you feel bad! I just- I didn't..." he said, shaking his head. "I didn't know it bothered you. I didn't think you cared. You-you made it seem like you didn't want me to so..."  
  
"Right" she said, nodding "I made it _seem_ like that. You always say that! And I've told you before that I cared!"  
  
"Well sorry if I don't take your word for it. You say a lot of things" he said.  
  
"Why did you pull away when I kissed you?" 

"For the same reason that I stopped touching you. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and hear that it was because you were drunk, or lonely, or whatever other reason you get that way. I mean that's why you kissed me, right? You were feeling lonely."  
  
She didn't know how to respond to that. How could he possibly know that?  
  
"Look, I'm sorry if I've been distant. But I...Fuck. I like you. And I want it to be real, I don't-" he said, looking away.  
  
 _What the fuck? What did he just say?_  
  
"You...you want it..to be real?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah. If it's not real than I'd rather not be with you in that way. I don't want to be the person you settle for when you're lonely. That's how you make me feel when you get that way. Like you're settling. Find someone else for that" he said, turning away.  
  
This time, she grabbed his hand.  
  
"It...it is real" she said, looking down at their hands. "I didn't think...I mean, you made it seem like it wasn't so...so I never tried..." _fuck,_ she thought. She couldn't believe how tongue tied she'd gotten. She always, always knew what to say. It was only around him that she found it hard to voice her thoughts.  
  
"And you're not gonna wake up tomorrow and avoid me after saying that?" he asked.  
  
"No...I won't avoid you. I...I like you too" she said, feeling so foolish. ' _I like you too', talk about the understatement of the century._  
  
"You like me?" he asked. She could hear the smile on his face.

"Yeah" she whispered, blushing a little.  
  
"How much?"  
  
She pulled her hand out of his. "Shut up" she said, but she was smiling now.  
  
"I've missed your smile" he says, taking a small step towards her.  
  
He placed his hands on her hips, standing only a few inches away from her.  
  
"And you're sure this isn't only because you're lonely?" he said, his voice sounding more gentle and more scared than she'd ever heard it.  
  
"I am lonely. I have been for a long time...but I don't want to be, anymore" she whispered, "I want it to be you."  
  
He placed his lips on her forehead and wrapped his arms around her waist.   
  
She stood there, hugging Bellamy Blake for the first time. She was pretty sure that she'd never, ever been hugged like that.   
  
After a few minutes, she looked up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. She pulled away a few seconds later, trying to read the expression on his face. She hoped that he knew it wasn't because she was lonely. That it was real. That she wasn't settling.  
  
But she didn't really get the opportunity to do so. He brought his lips back down to hers and suddenly, they were kissing. 

Slow at first, testing one another out.  
  
But the heat between them pushed her forward and she wrapped her arms around his neck, crushing her lips to his.   
  
He reached down and placed his hands on her thighs, lifting her up until she could wrap them around his hips.   
He walked over to the loveseat and sat down, Clarke in his lap.  
  
The closeness of their bodies urged her on, and suddenly her kisses weren't slow and deep anymore. They were fast and messy and frantic.  
  
But so were his.  
  
He slid his tongue into her mouth and she arched her back a little, pressing her body even closer to his.   
  
His hands gripped her hips and she tried to have some self control, stopping herself from grinding against him.  
  
"Should...should we take it slow?" he asked in between kisses.  
  
She thought about it for a few moments while he kissed her jaw and her neck.   
  
"We're already married" she said, feeling the heat pool in her belly. "Fuck taking it slow."  
  
She brought her lips back down to his and only pulled away when she was out of breath.

He stood up and placed her on the ground. Not a second later, his lips were back on hers, fast and hungry.  
  
He slid his hands under the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head. He didn't pause for a second before pulling her pants and underwear off, too.   
  
Clarke felt the anticipation making her hands shake.  
  
He turned her around and gently pushed her back down onto the loveseat until she was sitting in it. Dropping to his knees, he placed a hand on each knee and forced her legs open.  
  
She felt like she should be embarrassed, being in that position, naked in front of him. But she only felt excitement, thrill, as he dropped his head and kissed up left thigh, going higher and higher.  
  
She rested her head on the back of the seat, looking up at the ceiling. _Oh my god_.  
  
When his lips finally went to the spot she wanted them most, she couldn't help but let out a little moan. And she couldn't help but feel grateful that he wasn't teasing her this time.   
  
He put her legs on his shoulders and placed a hand on each hip, holding her down. She placed both hands in his hair, urging him on. The grip he had on her hips became harder as she felt her muscles tighten. He took one hand off of her hip and for a second, she missed the pressure of it, holding her down. She whimpered as he stuck two fingers inside of her, crooking them a little and touching a spot that made her whole body tingle. The pressure of the tip of his tongue and the fingers inside her pushed her over the edge, and this time she didn't even try to contain herself, not caring if someone heard her.

When she came back down, he stood up and offered her a hand. She took it and they made their way to the bed. She laid down in the middle and he crawled in, right on top of her. With all his clothes on.  
  
She pulled him down for another kiss, his hand slowly running up her torso.  
  
He was being gentle. Too gentle.  
  
"You know" she whispered against his lips, "You don't have to be so careful. So gentle. I won't break" she said, smiling up at him a little.  
  
"Is that what you want? For me not to be gentle?" he asked, and she could swear that she saw his eyes getting darker.  
  
"Y-yeah" she whispered. The look he had given her went straight to her core, making her nerves light on fire, covering her skin in goosebumps.  
  
"Well...in that case" he said, his voice rougher than it had been just a few moments ago, "Turn around."  
  
It was a little strange. Clarke liked being a leader, a boss of sorts. But she'd had enough of that in the past few months. For some reason, she felt like letting it go for a while. Trying something new for a change. With her few other partners, she'd taken the lead.  
  
But it wasn't easy, being in charge all the time.   
  
And besides, they had their whole lives ahead of them. She'd let him take the lead tonight. See what he's made of. But next time...

She turned on her stomach and felt him run a hand down her hair, her spinal column. He placed a hand on each hip and roughly pulled her up to her knees.   
  
It made her gasp a little. And she was surprisingly turned on by it.  
  
She heard him take his shirt off and she knew his pants would be next. The thought made it impossible for her not to rise to her hands and sway a little.  
  
She looked up at the sword above their bed.  
  
One hand came back to her hip, holding her steady, not letting her push back into him like she'd wanted.  
  
He pressed the tip of his cock to her entrance, spreading the heat and wetness gathered there.  
  
"Say it" he said, pushing the tip in just a little.  
  
She let out a needy moan, hoping it would suffice. But the grip he had on her hip didn't let her push back onto him.  
  
"Say it" he said again.  
  
 _Fucking asshole!_ She couldn't believe he was actually going to make her say it. He pulled back a little, making her grow tense and aggravated. _Fuck it._  
  
"Please..." she whined.  
  
"Please what?"

"Fuck me" she said, dropping her head and looking at the bedding. _Pride be damned. But I will get him back for this._  
  
But all thoughts of pride and revenge left a second later, when she felt him pushing into her.  
  
They both moaned at the same time.  
  
He didn't do anything for a few moments, letting her body get adjusted.  
  
Slowly, he pulled out before pushing back in. The pace was slow at first, but Clarke didn't mind. It had been a while for her.  
  
He picked up the pace eventually, gripping both of her hips and pulling them back to meet each thrust.  
  
Every thrust made her core grow tighter, and when he reached forward and grabbed her by the hair, tugging it back and making her head snap up, she let out a moan that was way, way louder than she'd intended it to be.  
It seemed to drive him a little wild, because his thrusts came faster and harder than before.  
  
He let go of her hair and reached under her to rub small, tight circles into her clit. She gripped the bedding so hard she could feel her nails digging into her palms.  
  
She was there, she was almost there, letting out low moans, calling his name.  
  
"Come for me" he said from behind her. And it was what she needed to hear to push her over the edge. She clenched around him, calling his name and feeling like it was totally normal, like it wasn't their first time.

He placed a hand on her back and pushed her back down onto her stomach. He pulled out just as she'd come down and a few seconds later, she felt him come on her lower back.  
  
"Shit" he said afterward, "I'm sorry. I-I didn't think about it. I just figured you wouldn't want to get pregnant." He brought a towel from the bathroom and wiped her down.  
  
"It's okay" she said, once he had rejoined her in bed. "But just so you know...I have an implant. For future references."  
  
"And implant?"  
  
"Yeah like, like birth control? So we don't get pregnant? They made all of us get one. I've seen them removed before, during my residency in the Ark. But they're supposed to be good for seven years. We got them when we were fourteen, so I'm pretty sure it still works. I've got a few more years left."  
  
"Oh" he said, nodding. "I'll keep that in mind."  
  
She rolled onto her back, laughing a little.  
  
He laid down next to her, pulling her closer so that she was resting her head on his chest. She wrapped an arm around his torso as he lazily ran a hand up and down her back.  
  
They laid like that for a while, in comfortable silence.  
  
And to Clarke's surprise, it didn't feel awkward. She couldn't describe exactly how she felt. The only word that she could think of was _comfortable_ , like really, it'd been a long time coming. Like it was bound to happen. 

"We need to go into the village tomorrow" he eventually said.  
  
"Why?" she asked, looking up at him.  
  
"You need a coat. A nice thick one."  
  
"What? Why? It isn't even that cold yet?"  
  
"I suspect we will have a harsh winter here on Earth....now that hell has frozen over" he said, trying to keep his face serious, but at the last second he smirked.  
  
"You are such a jackass!" she yelled as she pulled away. She grabbed her pillow and hit him below the stomach.  
  
"Ow" he said, but he was laughing.   
  
She put the pillow back down and laid her head on his chest again, becoming familiar with the sound of his heartbeat.  
  
"That wasn't very nice" he said.  
  
"Well I'm not a nice person" she said back.  
  
"You are a lot nicer than me, if that's any consolation."  
  
"Not really. You're definitely the rudest person I've ever met" she teased.  
  
"I've been called worse" he said, but his voice didn't sound light anymore.  
  
She let it drop, knowing that he probably had been called worse. But so had she.

After a while, he picked her hand up off of his chest and studied it for a few quiet moments. He ran his thumb across the scars there, left from the restraints she'd worn for almost two months. He brought her wrist up and kissed it lightly before putting it back down.  
  
"I'm sorry that happened to you."  
  
"It's okay" she whispered.  
  
"Tell me."  
  
She looked up, a little confused. "Tell you what?"  
  
"Tell me about what happened" he said, running his hand up and down her spine.  
  
"I already did."  
  
"You gave me the short version. Tell me...tell me about what it was like, when you got here. How you felt, being on Earth. What you thought when you realized there were people? How you survived?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you said that you've been lonely for a long time. You were their leader. I'm sure you put up a front, kept your feelings to yourself. Tell me about the worst day, the best day. Everything you've kept to yourself. But-but only if you want to..."

She looked at him for a few moments, noting the curiosity in his eyes and little scar above his top lip. And then she told him.   
  
She told him about how it felt to breath real air for the first time in her life. The way she felt when she heard twigs and leaves crunching beneath her boots when she took those first few steps out of the Dropship. How scared she was when they saw the two-headed deer. What it was like to drink rain water out of a big leaf. The first time she plucked a flower from the ground and inhaled its sweet smell.   
  
Her horror when she saw the spear hit Jasper in the chest. What it felt like to lose Wells and then watch as Murphy and his friends hung the young girl that killed him. How scared she was when people started disappearing. The fear that clawed at her chest when she came across human bones in a clearing. What it felt like when she bashed a grounders head in with a rock. How she felt when she learned that her mother was responsible for her fathers death. How she felt when they finally got and lost communication with the Ark.  
  
She told him about the blisters she'd gotten after walking for weeks. She told him about all of the people they'd lost. She told him about the way her tongue had felt like sandpaper and her bones felt like glass when they were in the Dead Zone. The hopelessness that had engulfed her and how she hated herself for giving up.  
  
After talking for what felt like hours, she finally stopped. It was late. Very, very late. She was pretty sure that the sun would rise in a few hours. But he listened the entire time.   
  
"Not what you expected to hear?" she asked after he'd been silent for a few minutes.  
  
"Not exactly" he said, peeking down at her. They were on their respective sides of the bed. He had his arms crossed behind his head while her hand were clenched in fists at her sides.

"I-I heard about you. We may live in our own corner of the world. But it's not every day that people drop from the sky. So, I heard. And it made me curious" he said, still looking at her.  
  
She knew what the grounders had thought of them. They were invaders, intruders. They came down from the sky and claimed land that already belonged to the people who had stayed on this planet while they lived among the stars.  
  
"Well I guess we were both expecting a totally different version of one another" she said, looking up at him.  
  
"No, Clarke" he said. He took his hands out from under his head and placed one on the side of her face, caressing her cheek before tucking a wisp of hair behind her ear. "You're exactly what I expected."   
  
"Thank you for telling me" he said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.   
  
He shifted until he was pressed up against her side again, his arm draping across her stomach while she un-clenched her fists and relaxed beside him.  
  
"Goodnight Clarke" he whispered.  
  
"Goodnight Bellamy" she whispered back.

* * *

 

When she woke the next day, the sun was already well into the sky. She figured that she would sleep late; they had stayed up way later than usual the night before.  
  
So she wasn't that surprised to find that she was alone, that he was already gone. For a second, she felt a little nervous. But the memories from the night before resurfaced and she calmed down. _I like you,_ he'd said. _I want it to be real._  
  
Judging by the suns position in the sky, she figured that it was past midday. Probably around two or three in the afternoon. She got out of bed and got ready, deciding to head to the throne room. She looked through her dresser and decided to wear another dress. She felt unnaturally giddy, for some reason. She put it on and glanced at herself in the mirror.  
  
She looked rested. More rested than she'd looked in a long, long time. The dress was loose and flowy, stopping about half an inch from the bottom of her feet. It was made of sheer material the color of her eyes. Her hair was down, now going a little past her shoulders in waves.   
  
She looked, quite simply, like an 18 year old girl. She wasn't sure what the date was. She wasn't sure of the month, either. But she knew that her birthday had passed. She got sent to Earth two months before she turned 18, and they'd definitely been there for more than two months.  
  
She walked across the bridge, thinking about what she'd say to Bellamy when she saw him. She wasn't nervous, exactly. It felt more like anticipation.   
  
_Will he act differently towards me? Now that we've...consummated our marriage?_   
  
She was so deep in thought she ran right into him when she turned down the corridor that led to the throne room.

"Hello there" he said, after her forehead smacked right into his chest.  
  
"Oh um, hey" she said, pulling back. "S-sorry I...I wasn't paying attention."  
  
"Clearly" he said, smirking at her.  
  
She didn't find his smirk that infuriating any more. She didn't feel like slapping him. In fact....it kind of turned her on.  
  
She bit her bottom lip.  
  
"Where are you headed?" he asked.  
  
"I was going to the throne room. I'm hungry."  
  
"Well I'm afraid you missed breakfast. And lunch, for that matter. Dinner is in a few hours though" he said, smiling now.  
  
"Yeah" she said, "I figured I did. I'll just get something from the kitchen."  
  
"Alright then" he said, moving to the side to let her pass.   
  
"Where were you headed?" she asked, making no move to leave.  
  
"I was actually going to wake you."   
  
That made her blush a little, thinking about the ways he could have woken her up.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Well...partly because it's late."

"And the other part?"  
  
"I have to leave."  
  
"Oh" she said, looking down at her feet. It wasn't exactly what she was hoping to hear. "Where are you going?"  
  
"I have a few things to take care of. Something came up and I need to be at another village tonight. I won't be back until the day after tomorrow."  
  
"What happened?" she asked, hoping he couldn't tell how disappointed she was.  
  
"Nothing important."  
  
If she hadn't been so wrapped up in her disappointment at his departure, she might have questioned him.  
  
"I'll be back soon" he said, grabbing her hand.   
  
The feeling of his hand in hers made her whole body tingle. It felt so, so different from the other times they'd held hands. Probably because she now knew what they felt like all over her body. _Not soon enough_ , she thought.  
  
"And why do you say that?" he said, a smile playing at his lips.  
  
She was a little horrified when she realized that she'd actually said what she'd been thinking.  
  
"Oh..um.." she mumbled. She could feel the tips of her ears burning.

"Will you miss me?" he said, moving towards her.  
  
She backed up until she could feel the rough stone of the castle walls behind her back.  
  
"Yeah, I-I will" she said, looking up at him.  
  
"Pretty dress" he said, placing his hands on her hips.  
  
She thought about the hard grip he'd had on her hips the night before.  
  
"When do you have to leave?" she asked, biting her lip again.   
  
His eyes dropped to her lips.  
  
Wordlessly, he grabbed her hand and led her down the corridor in the opposite direction of the throne room. He took a left turn and they ended up in a part of the castle she hadn't been in before.  
  
They were in a dimly lit hall when he pushed her against the wall and brought his lips down to hers. He kissed her hungrily as he ran his hands up her thighs, hiking her dress up to her waist. He lifted her up until she could wrap her legs around him.  
  
She knew they didn't have long, she knew someone could walk down the hall at any minute. But that didn't stop her from running her one hand through his hair while the other lazily made it's way down his front and stopped at his belt, pulling it a little. She hoped he'd get the message.  
  
She wasn't disappointed.  
  
The rough castle wall scratched at her back as he fucked her against it. His mouth went to her neck, biting it as she tried to stifle her moans.

"You-you'll leave a mark" she whispered in between gasps of air.  
  
"Does that bother you?" he asked, "That everyone will know you're mine?"  
  
 _Mine._  
  
"N-no" she sighed as his lips moved to the flesh just above her breast. She thought about the faint bruises sprinkling her hip bones. Marks left by his fingertips.   
  
She was used to scratches and bruises. These were a different kind, though.  
  
He bit and sucked and kissed at the flesh there while she tried not to moan too loudly. Eventually he placed a hand over her mouth and picked up his pace until she came and he followed.  
  
He set her back down and gave her a long, lingering kiss full of something that she could only describe as _promise_ before he said goodbye and left.  
  
She made her way to the kitchen feeling like a completely different Clarke.  
  
A Clarke who wore dresses and fucked her husband in an abandoned hallway. A Clarke who thought about how she'd spend her day instead of worrying about how she'd live through it.  
  
In the kitchen, an older gentleman made her a sandwich. She thanked him for it, and since they were the only two in the kitchen, she asked him about who he was, how he ended up in this place. She'd been trying to get to know the people in the castle, and since Bellamy was gone and the healer didn't need her help today, she had time to kill.

"I was a member of the Delphi clan, just on the outskirts of the Dead Zone" he said, "When the old king and his warriors came to our village. They took what they wanted. Killed those who put up a fight. That's how I lost my hand" he said, holding up his right arm.  
  
"They took about 50 of us with them, that time. They'd come before. I'd lost my wife and my son the first time they came to our village. I wanted my revenge, so I went willingly. It was years before I got" he said, looking past Clarke. They were sitting at the old table in the kitchen. She ate silently, listening to the mans story.  
"When Bellamy rose to power, when he challenged the king, those of use who weren't here by choice helped him. Once he killed the king, we servants banned together and killed a lot of the kingsguard. We would have killed all of them, every single one, if it weren't for him. He told us he understood our pain, but that it wasn't the right way. It took years for me to understand."  
  
"And then what happened?" Clarke asked, "Why didn't you go home?"  
  
"Our king gave us the option. He understood that most of us weren't here by choice. We could stay, or we could go back to our clans, our families. But he promised a new life, a better life. So most of us stayed. And besides, I had nothing to go back to. Some people did. Some had families. The king gave them the option to go and bring their families back with them. It took months, years. But every single person that wanted to go back did. Most of them came back with their loved ones. There was a time when the coalition of the thirteen clans didn't exist. There was a time where we fought one another. Here, we didn't. So that's why most of us stayed, why the ones who left came back. We've lived in peace ever since" the man said, a small smile on his face.  
  
"And now?" she asked, "Now that there's peace among the thirteen clans?"  
  
"My people are here" he said, "My place is here."

She smiled at the man. She understood. Here, it didn't really matter where they came from. The Trikru clan, the Delphi clan, the sky. They all lived together.   
  
Eventually, they parted ways and Clarke went in search of her friends. She found Monty and Miller outside, feeding the livestock. She got the feeling that they wanted to be alone, so she asked if they'd seen Raven. After they told her, Clarke left to give them some privacy.  
  
Raven was stroking a horses mane when Clarke found her in the stables.   
  
"Hey" Raven said, "Where have you been? We missed you at breakfast. And lunch."  
  
"Oh um, I kind of slept in late" Clarke said shrugging. She hoped that her hair covered her spotted neck.  
  
"Long night?" Raven asked. Her tone was playful, innocent. But Clarke could see the mischief in her eyes.  
  
"Kind of" Clarke said, hoping she was coming off nonchalant.  
  
She looked away. Raven totally knew, if the look in her eye was anything to go by.  
  
"You wanna go for a ride? Or did you already go on one this morning?"  
  
"Raven!"   
  
"Do you wanna go? Or are you too _worn_ out?"  
  
"Oh my god, stop it" Clarke said, rolling her eyes. But she couldn't stop the heat now crawling up her chest, her cheeks. She knew it was all in good fun, and that she and Raven were close. But after Finn, Clarke wasn't sure how comfortable either one of them was discussing their sex lives. Or lack there of.  
  
"Okay okay" Raven said, putting her hands up, "But seriously, do you want to?"

"Sure."  
  
Clarke searched the stable for the horse that Bellamy had said was hers. It wasn't hard to find, considering it was the only white one. The rest were all shades of brown and black.  
  
They led the horses from the stable to a path carved in the woods. Clarke wasn't sure where the path led, since the only time she'd ridden her horse was when she and Bellamy left for the cottage.  
  
"Do you know where we're going?" she asked Raven.  
  
"Yeah" Raven said, "This path leads down to the shore."  
  
They rode in silence for a little while. But it was a comfortable silence. Clarke was glad that she had Raven. Despite what had happened between them, she felt close to Raven. A lot closer than she'd expected to. And she meant what she had said to Bellamy, about not wanting to feel so alone anymore.  
  
"Have you named her?" Raven asked, pulling Clarke from her thoughts.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Your horse?"  
  
"Oh" Clarke said, "I haven't really thought about it."  
  
"Didn't Bellamy tell you? Apparently they all name their horses here. His is called Ares, I think. Octavia named her's Hermes."

Clarke smiled to herself. Apparently Bellamy wasn't the only Blake that had a thing for Greek mythology. She thought about it. From what she could remember, she was pretty sure Ares was the god of war and blood. And Hermes was the god of boundaries and travel. It seemed fitting.  
  
"What's yours called?"  
  
"Astraeus"  
  
"Astraeus?"  
  
"Yeah...Octavia gave me the idea, actually. Astraeus, the Titan God of stars and planets. Seemed fitting, so I just went with it."  
  
Raven looked away, like she was embarrassed. Clarke didn't push the subject. If Raven wanted to talk about what was going on between her and Octavia, she would.  
  
"Well, I guess I better name mine after a Greek god? Keep it in the family?" Clarke said. She wouldn't push Raven, but she could tease her.  
  
When she didn't respond, Clarke turned away, hiding her smile.  
  
The ride down to the shore took up most of the time they had in the daylight, due to the fact that Clarke had slept in. They rode back to the castle in the dark.  
  
While they were at the Dropship, Clarke hated the night. It was too dark, too scary. She always got the feeling that she was being watched. And maybe she was.

But here, night was peaceful. She wasn't afraid.   
  
After they reached the castle, they fed the horses and took them back to the stables. There were only a few people left in the throne room by the time they made their way inside.   
  
Octavia greeted them as they walked inside. It looked like she was finished, too. She asked them about their day and Raven told her about their ride down to the shore.  
  
"Do you guys want to join me in my chambers?" Octavia asked, "You can get some food from the kitchen and eat there, if you want."  
  
"Sure" Raven said.  
  
The three of them went to the kitchen. While Clarke and Raven filled their plates with the leftovers from dinner, Octavia grabbed a bottle of wine and together they made their way to Octavia's chambers.  
  
Once inside, Clarke noticed how different her chambers were from Bellamy's. Where Bellamy's (and hers, technically) was full of books and paintings and vintage furniture, Octavia's was simpler. She had a few pieces of furniture and an assortment of weapons around the room.   
  
Clarke noticed that Raven wasn't as curious as she was. Raven was either being polite...or she'd been in Octavia's chambers before. Clarke was pretty sure it was the latter.  
  
They sat at a wooden table across from the fireplace in Octavia's room. Clarke and Raven ate while Octavia fetched three glasses and poured them each some wine.

Clarke tried to join in on the conversation, listening to some story Octavia was telling them about how Jasper almost lost a finger trying to impress the girl he liked with the sword Octavia had gotten him. Clarke laughed at all the right times, but she mostly thought about Bellamy. About what they'd done in the corridor earlier that day.  
  
They drank too much wine, telling their own embarrassing stories. Clarke pushed the thought of Bellamy away, knowing that he'd be back the day after tomorrow. She wanted to focus on her relationships with the other people in the castle.  
  
While she and Raven were close, she couldn't really describe her relationship with Octavia. They'd been civil with one another but Clarke was pretty sure that she couldn't call the girl a friend just yet. But something about Raven's presence brought down the wall Octavia had built between them. She was funnier, more open with Raven around. And she smiled more that night than all the nights they'd eaten dinner together.  
  
Clarke let herself feel happy, feel normal. She actually felt like a teenager again. Something she hadn't felt since her father had been floated.  
  
By the end of the night, the three of them ended up on Octavia's balcony. Eventually, Raven decided to head to her own room, leaving Clarke and Octavia alone. Clarke couldn't remember the last time she'd been alone with Octavia. After thinking about it for a few minutes, she realized that she hadn't been alone with the girl since that night on the ship. The first time they'd ever really had a conversation.  
  
"So" Octavia said, leaning over the railing, "How do you like being queen?"  
  
Clarke smiled a little.  
  
"It's a lot easier than I expected, honestly."

Octavia nodded, "Yeah, well. We don't have much trouble here."  
  
Clarke nodded in agreement. They didn't. In fact, the only trouble they'd had here was the whole Finn thing.  
  
"I take it you and Bellamy made up?"  
  
Clarke blushed a little. She knew Octavia and Bellamy didn't keep secrets from one another.  
  
"What'd he tell you?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing. I just figured you did."  
  
"How?"  
  
"He seemed a lot more....chipper this morning."  
  
Now Clarke really blushed. She looked away, looking towards the village below them.  
  
"Relax Clarke" Octavia said, rolling her eyes, "I don't want any details. Trust me."  
  
Clarke laughed a little.   
  
"He cares about you" Octavia said after a few minutes of silence. "He cares about all of you. But especially you."  
  
Clarke didn't really know what to say to that.  
  
"But....I hope, I mean, I hope you understand what kind of position that might put him in."  
  
"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he's the king. Sometimes..."  
  
Clarke waited for her to go on, but she didn't.  
  
"Nothing. Nevermind. I'm drunk. I just hope that you understand how much he cares about you. I hope you know that."  
  
"I do" Clarke said. But she felt a little suspicious. _What is she trying to say? What position does that put him in? What does the fact that he's the king have anything to do with him caring about me? About us?_  
  
"Well, I should head to bed."  
  
Clarke took that as her cue to leave. On the way to her room, she replayed the conversation she'd had with Octavia over and over. _What was she trying to tell me?_  
  
Clarke didn't know.

* * *

 

The next day, Clarke spent her morning in the healers quarters. After midday, things slowed down enough for her to leave, to spend the day with her friends.

She decided to join a small group of people that were headed to one of the other villages here. Since she'd only been to the one below them, and she was the queen, she figured she might as well go.  
  
Octavia and Raven were among the group that was going, along with a few of Octavia's friends. Since the village was a few hours away, they went on their horses.   
  
They entire way there, she spent her time getting to know Octavia's friends. They were just as fierce, just as bold as Octavia was. When Clarke asked them about how they got here, they told their stories without any sign of pity or sorrow.   
  
She admired that kind of mentality, that the things they'd been through only made them stronger. Some of them had been here most of their lives, they couldn't even remember what clan they'd originally come from.   
  
"It doesn't matter to us" one of the girls said, "Where you come from has nothing to do with who you are, or where you're going. Like you two" she said, nodding at Clarke and Raven. "You came from the sky. But if I cut you right now, your blood would be as red as mine. So what if you came from the sky and I came from Azgeda? We all bleed red."  
  
Clarke nodded. It was so different from how they'd been seen when they landed. The other grounders hadn't cared that so many of them were children, teenagers. They killed them all the same. They didn't think about the fact that not a single one of the hundred actually had a choice. They were sent to the ground unwillingly. It wasn't their fault that the Ark was dying. It wasn't their fault the council had deemed them disposable.

Eventually, they got to the village. It was pretty similar to the one residing below the castle, but this one was much, much bigger. They others fit right in. Clarke could tell they'd obviously come here a lot. On the other hand, she and Raven felt a little out of place. They'd become pretty familiar with the people in the castle, with the people in the village below them. But these were brand new faces, brand new people.  
  
All the same, they were welcomed. Clarke had figured they all knew about the Sky People. But it still surprised her, the kindness and affection. She couldn't really believe that everyone here was so accepting, that they didn't see the Sky People the way the others had.  
  
She realized it was because at some point, most of the people here had been outsiders too. Sure, there were kids and young adults that had probably been born here. But for the most part, they had all come to this place from somewhere else. So what if she and Raven came from the sky?   
  
It made Clarke happy. It was how she had hoped they'd be seen, when they realized they weren't alone on the ground all those months ago.  
  
She didn't really want to leave when Octavia said it was time to go. There were so many people here, so many stories she hadn't heard yet.  
  
"Please know that you are always welcomed here, my lady" the young woman Clarke had been talking to said, "I hope you visit again. Thank you for gracing us with your presence."  
  
"I will" Clarke said, smiling at the woman. "Thank you for having me."

Eventually, she said her goodbyes and left the village with a tote full of presents. She didn't really feel like accepting everything she'd been given, but the people there were so adamant about showering her with gifts that she couldn't really say no.  
  
That night at dinner she joined her friends at their table instead of the one she usually sat at. She laughed too loudly and made bad jokes and teased Monty about his new relationship with Miller.  
  
She felt so happy, happier than she'd been in months, that she wasn't even upset when she saw Finn walk through the doors. She wasn't mad at him anymore. He was obviously doing better and staying out of trouble, since she hadn't heard anything. She vaguely wondered if he had shown up because he somehow knew that Bellamy was gone.  
  
He joined them and told them about the new village he was living in, and about what he'd been up to since he'd left.  
  
His eyes lingered on Clarke's longer than she wanted them too. After he complemented her on her haircut, his eyes dropped to her chest and she looked down, noticing a red mark peeking up just below the top of her dress. She resisted the urge to pull the dress up; she had nothing to be ashamed about.  
  
The marks on the side of her neck were covered by her hair, no one had noticed them. Well, no one besides Raven.   
  
Clarke met Finn's judgmental stare with a hard gaze, challenging him to say something. But he didn't.

_Good,_ she thought, getting back to the conversation she'd been having with Murphy. Their relationship had improved, slightly. He'd become less of a dick, she realized. And yeah, he fucked up. He made mistakes and he questioned her authority more than once. But it seemed like he was genuinely trying, now.  
  
Eventually, Clarke decided to head to her quarters. She was feeling particularly inspired, so she wanted to draw. As she bid the others a good night, Finn asked if he could walk her to her room. She felt a little weary about it, but she accepted his offer and walked with him. They were friends, after all. Well, they used to be. Maybe she could fix that, too?  
  
"So...I take it everything is going well?" he asked as they walked to her room.  
  
"Yeah, it is. I got a job, actually. I'm working with their healer, trying to learn how-"  
  
"I have to tell you something" Finn said, cutting her off. "I-I came tonight because I...I have some news for you."  
  
"What is it?" she asked.  
  
"Bellamy isn't who you think he is, Clarke" Finn said, looking over his shoulder, making sure they were alone.  
  
Clarke rolled her eyes.  
  
"I'm serious Clarke. He's...he's been lying to you" Finn said, stopping in his tracks. They were on the bridge.

Clarke turned to face him, feeling weary already. She wondered if this conversation was stemming from the fact that he'd seen the mark on her chest. He must have know she and Bellamy were really together now.  
  
"Yeah? And what has he been lying about, Finn?" she asked. She knew her tone was making it pretty obvious that she was only humoring him, that she didn't actually want to hear what he had to say.  
  
"Clarke, I know that I messed up. I know that. What I did was stupid. But I was right. We can't trust him. We can't trust any of them" he said, his tone serious.  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"He's been lying to you the entire time" Finn said.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked, growing a little uneasy.  
  
"The Ark! It-it came down. With survivors. It came down while we were in the Dead Zone. Our people are out there, Clarke. Probably looking for us. And he knows. He's known the entire time!"  
  
"W-what?" she asked. There was no way that she had heard him correctly. _The Ark?_   
  
"I swear, Clarke. The Ark came down. There are survivors. He's known the entire time" Finn says.  
  
"I-I don't believe you."

There was no way he was telling the truth. Raven had said that there was nothing there anymore. They couldn't even see it's light after they lost contact with them. They had all probably died.  
  
And if they hadn't....if they hadn't, and the Ark had miraculously come down...there was no way Bellamy wouldn't have mentioned it. No way he could keep that a secret. Finn was lying. _Yes, that's it. He's lying. Probably trying to stir something up. There's no way Bellamy would keep that from me._  
  
"I know that you don't trust me. Not after what I did" Finn said, grabbing her hand "but Clarke, I swear I'm not lying. It's true. Our people are out there."  
  
"And where did you come by this information?" she asked, unsure now.  
  
"That doesn't matter. It's not important. We need to decide on what we should do next" he says.  
  
"Finn, you-you might be wrong" she said, but it sounded weak, even to her.  
  
"I'm not, Clarke. Think about it...I mean, why else would he have made an alliance with us? There were only 49 of us. He could have let us stay. But maybe...maybe he wanted to marry you, to seal the alliance, because he knew there were more of us?"  
  
Clarke felt like the castle floor was beginning to shake beneath her. She knew it was just in her head, but she placed a hand on the wall to steady herself just the same.  
  
There was no way...  
  
"Clarke...we need to act. We need to-" Finn began.

"No" she said.  
  
"But Clarke-"  
  
"Don't do anything and don't tell anyone else. For now. Let-let me see if I can find anything out. Let's just keep this between us, for now" she said. Regardless if it was true or not, she knew she had to calm Finn down. She had to make sure he didn't do anything stupid.  
  
"Okay" he said, "I'm going back to the village tomorrow morning. I only came to tell you. But I'll be back soon. We can talk about it then. We can decide our next move."  
  
"Alright" she said. She felt a little numb by that point.   
  
They had reached her quarters and she said goodnight to Finn, reminding him to keep the information to himself. She needed to think about what he had said. She needed to find some proof, something to convince her that he was lying. There was no way Bellamy would have kept something like that from her. Not after everything that had happened between them.  
  
She made her way into their bedroom. She felt like her head was spinning. She sat down on the loveseat and put her head in her hands.  
  
Could it be possible that Finn was telling the truth? But how could he have learned that information?  
  
She thought about her time here, in the castle. She thought about everything that had happened between her and Bellamy.

Yes, his marriage proposal came as a surprise. But he said that was how alliances were made here? At the same time, Finn was right. There were only 49 of them. Not much of an alliance, she had to admit. Especially considering the fact that they were all so young. They weren't warriors; they didn't really have anything to offer Bellamy or this place.  
  
So why did he do it?  
  
Was it possible that...that the Ark really had come down? That there were survivors? Clarke was sure that if they actually did come down, they would have tried to land as close as possible to the 100. But if it had come down after they'd already reached the Dead Zone...they might not have noticed anything? They were weeks and weeks travel from the Dropship by that point.  
  
Nothing made sense.   
  
Suddenly she remembered one of her first few nights here, in Bellamy's quarters. He'd had a piece of paper, a letter it looked like, and when she asked about it he put it away in his desk. And when she tried to look for it...his desk drawer had been locked.  
  
She tried to concentrate, to think about all the things that Bellamy had said and done these past few months.  
  
She found it a little difficult, considering the things that were the clearest in her mind were all the times he'd made her smile, when he made her happy. When she got a glimpse of the man he was.

But then....then she recalled his sudden interest in her mother, her people on the Ark, when they had gone away to the cottage. ' _Clarke, I have to tell you something_ ' he'd said before she changed the subject and asked him about his mother. She thought about all the 'meetings' he'd gone to. All the times he acted a little secretive but she had been too distracted by his presence to notice.  
  
And finally, she thought about the first night she had come here.  
  
She remembered getting off the ship and making her way onto the land, only to watch the ship sail away again. Where had it been going?  
  
 _Oh my god...._  
  
The more she thought about it, the worse she felt.  
  
But what made the whole situation hard to believe was the fact that if it really was true, if the Ark had come down, Bellamy had known about it. He knew and he didn't tell her.  
  
She thought about how much loyalty and trust meant to him. How hurt and angry he had been when she'd lied to him.   
  
But if it was true...then he'd been lying to her since they got here.  
  
As much as she wanted it to be true, that there really were survivors, that the Ark really had come down....the little part of her that was selfish, that was basically in love with Bellamy Blake hoped that there was some other explanation. That maybe he didn't know. 

She knew it was stupid. Hopeless, even. Because the more she thought about it...the more sense it made. The more real it felt.  
  
By the time that she dragged herself to bed, she knew there was some truth to what Finn had said. A part of her was happy. There were survivors. The people on the Ark didn't die, didn't suffocate in space like they'd all thought.  
  
The other part felt completely and totally betrayed.

* * *

 

She searched for answers, for clues the next day.  
  
But she found none.   
  
Nothing he kept in his chambers gave her any sort of proof. And when she danced around the subject with a few of his guards, they didn't know anything. Either that, or they were pretending not to.   
  
She considered bringing it up to Octavia. If Bellamy knew, then she must have known as well. Clarke knew they didn't keep anything from each other. But something kept her from it. If Octavia really did know, there's no way she'd tell Clarke. Their relationship was casual, if anything. They weren't really even friends.  
  
Suddenly, the conversation they had the night before ran through Clarke's mind. _I hope you know how much he cares about you_ , Octavia had said. Why was she being so adamant about the fact that he cared for Clarke? Could it be because Octavia knew that this would eventually happen? That Clarke would find out?  
  
Either way, Octavia would never tell her. Clarke was sure of it.  
  
But....but maybe she'd tell Raven. They were close, after all.   
  
Clarke asked Raven to join her for dinner in her quarters for some privacy.  
  
After Clarke told her everything Finn had said, she told her about her own suspicions. About the ship leaving after they'd landed, about Bellamy questioning her, about the time he'd said he had to tell her something.

Clarke had hoped that Raven would have some sort of explanation. She hoped that the girl would have some sort of proof that Finn was wrong, that Clarke was just being paranoid. But she didn't.  
  
They sat in silence for a while, after Clarke had told her.  
  
"If...if that's true...then...Bellamy has.." she began, but didn't finish.  
  
Clarke looked down at her empty plate. She hadn't eaten anything. She felt like she was going to throw up.  
  
"A few weeks ago..." Raven began again. She looked like she was deep in thought, putting the pieces of something together.   
  
"A few weeks ago, I walked in on Octavia and Bellamy having a conversation about...about the ship. I heard Octavia say 'they should have been back by now'....but when they saw me they stopped talking. I asked her about it" Raven said, looking a little moved to anger now "and-and she said it was nothing. A scouting trip. But she was acting..."  
  
Clarke put her head in her hands, trying to control her breathing. She felt so foolish, so goddamn foolish when she realized she'd been hoping that Raven would give her a reason to believe that there was some sort of explanation that didn't involve being lied to for months.  
  
"So...Bellamy and Octavia have been lying to us? All this time?" Raven asked, looking as hurt as Clarke felt.  
  
Clarke didn't have an answer for her.

* * *

 

By the time that Bellamy had gotten back the next day, the only thing Clarke felt was anger. She was more angry than she'd ever been in her entire life. She told Raven not to mention anything to Octavia. She wanted to talk to Bellamy first. She had to hear it from him.  
  
She waited for him in their chambers, knowing it was probably the first place he'd go to once he got home.   
  
_Home._  
  
The word made bile rise in her throat.   
  
"Hey" he said, smiling at her once he was inside.  
  
"Hey" she said, not smiling back. Meeting his eyes with a glare. "Did your trip go okay?"   
  
"Yeah" he said, walking to their room.  
  
She followed.  
  
"What'd you do?" she asked.   
  
He was on his side of the room, changing out of his clothes. She stayed by fireplace.  
  
"Nothing really, just...king stuff" he said.  
  
Had he always been so vague? All this time? Had she been distracted by his smile and his stupid fucking freckles to notice?  
  
"What kind of king stuff?" she asked, focusing on keeping her voice even.

"Why the sudden interest?" he asked, turning around to look at her.  
  
Her hands clenched in fists at her sides.   
  
He noticed.  
  
"Is everything okay?" he asked.  
  
And in that moment, she knew that there was no good explanation. Nothing that could convince her that he hadn't been lying to her for months. That he hadn't betrayed her.  
  
"Why did you make an alliance with us, Bellamy? Why did you ask me to marry you?" she asked through clenched teeth.  
  
"W-what?" he said, walking towards her.  
  
"Answer the fucking question" she said, taking a step back once he was close enough to reach out and touch her.  
  
He studied her face for a few moments. And she could see the realization dawning on him. He knew she knew.  
  
"Clarke..." he said, looking a little desperate.   
  
"You knew" she said. She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes as she studied his. She wasn't sure what she was looking for. Or who she was looking at, exactly.   
  
"Clarke, please-" he said, reaching forward to grab her arm.

She took another step back.  
  
"You knew...all this time...you knew" she said, fighting to get the words past the lump in her throat.  
  
"Just let me explain" he said, still coming towards her.  
  
"No! I don't want to hear anything you have to say!" she screamed, turning to leave the room. But he followed.  
  
"Clarke please just let me explain, I-" he said from behind her.  
  
But she kept going, walking out of their chambers, not caring if his guards or others would hear them arguing.  
  
"Clarke stop" he said, grabbing her forearm once they'd made it as far as the bridge.  
  
"Don't touch me!" she screamed, yanking her arm from his grip.   
  
"Please just let me explain" he said, looking at her.  
  
"Explain what? That you've-you've been lying to us since we got here? That you've been lying to _me_?" she said. Her unshed tears were blurring her vision.  
  
"You don't understand, it's-"  
  
"No! I don't want to hear your fucking explanation! There's nothing you can say to make this okay. Nothing! All of your...your talk, about loyalty and trust was-was bullshit!" she yelled. 

He finally looked away, running a hand through his hair.  
  
"You-you ruined everything" she said, fighting tears.  
  
"Clarke..."  
  
"I hate you. I hate you so goddamn much" she said. Her voice sounded different, even to her own ears. In it was all the anger, all the hurt she felt at his betrayal.  
  
This time, when she turned to leave, he didn't follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, please don't hate me. I just really love torturing myself (and you guys) with the drama and these ups and downs?
> 
> And before you pick the pitchfork up...please know that there is more to this story than Bellamy just keeping this from Clarke. NOT saying that makes it okay...but this fic is Clarke's POV. Next chapter, you will find out more about this situation and why Bellamy has done this. And rest assured, Clarke will NOT forgive him easily. But this is a slowburn, yall know what ya signed up for.
> 
> As always, thank you all for the feedback. You guys have been SO inspiring. I love writing this fic, mostly because of you guys. So thank you, thank you, thank you.


	6. Chapter 6

A few hours after their fight, she heard him calling her name. She saw the guards searching for her from her vantage point in one of the tree's on the outskirts of the forest surrounding the castle.  
  
She didn't call back.   
  
She sat there for hours, watching the sun slowly make its way to the horizon. At some point, she stopped crying. Her anger at Bellamy had turned to anger at herself. For not finding out sooner, for being so selfish. She'd been comfortable here. Happy even. Content. She had enough to eat and she had a place to live. She was safe.  
  
Since she'd come to Earth, she'd basically dedicated her life to saving the people on the Ark. She was going to do it for her father. That's what he had wanted. And since she couldn't save him, she had to save the others.  
  
But she'd been too distracted by the promise of a different life, a better life, that she'd completely given up on her father's mission.  
  
And her mother.  
  
Was she alive? Did she make it to the ground? Was she looking for Clarke? Worrying, wondering where her daughter had gone?  
  
Her bones ached. The air was so cold it made her teeth chatter. But she made no move to leave.   
  
Her physical pain was nowhere near the mental, the emotional pain she was in now.

"You plan on staying up there forever?" someone said from below her.  
  
She was so startled she almost fell out of the tree.  
  
"She's over here!" Octavia yelled.  
  
Clarke looked down and saw Octavia standing below her. Just then, Bellamy and one of his guards ran over and joined Octavia.  
  
"Clarke, please just come inside" Bellamy said, looking up at her.  
  
She found it hard to look him in the eye. She couldn't think about him, all those hours she spent in that tree. She couldn't think about him. Everything that had happened between them, every memory, was tainted now. Ruined.  
  
"Fine" she said through gritted teeth. She didn't want to go inside. But the sun had set by that point. And she couldn't stay outside forever. She slowly made her way down the tree.  
  
"But as soon as I talk to my people, as soon as we figure things out, we're leaving" she said once she was on the ground again, still not looking at him.  
  
She made her way back inside by herself. She didn't bother going to the throne room to see her friends. She still had a lot to think about. She had to figure out when they'd be leaving and how they were going find the others.  
  
The last thing she wanted to do was go to their quarters, but she didn't really know where else to go. Once she was inside, she closed the door behind her; grateful that he didn't follow.

She drew herself a bath and stayed in the tub until the water got cold.  
  
 _Get over it_ , she thought. There was no point in feeling hurt by what Bellamy had done. That wouldn't help her find her people, her mother. She had to put her personal feelings aside. Again.  
  
But that was easier said than done.  
  
The thought of sharing a bed with him made her feel sick. So with that in mind, after her bath she found a thick blanket and left their bedroom.   
  
She sat down on the little couch in their front room and watched the fire in the fireplace, willing herself to fall asleep. To escape for a little while.  
  
Eventually, he came inside.  
  
"Clarke please just talk to me. Let me explain" he said, standing by the fireplace.  
  
She stayed silent.  
  
He sighed.  
  
"Where are they?" she asked. As much as she didn't want to talk to him, she needed answers.  
  
"They're...they're scattered."  
  
"Scattered where?"  
  
"I-I don't know about all of them. But most landed in Trikru territory. Some landed further north."  
  
It was what she expected to hear. No doubt they'd try to land near the Dropship so that they could find their children, their families, their friends.

"How do you know all of this?" she asked.  
  
"I told you...We may be outsiders but...but we still communicate with the others."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, finally looking at him.   
  
"It's complicated" he said, shrugging.  
  
 _It's complicated? Complicated?_ That pissed her off.  
  
"How the hell is it complicated? 'Clarke, your people are alive', see? That's not fucking complicated" she said, getting up.  
  
She had expected to hear everything he'd told her, so there really was no point in asking him, in talking to him. She knew where they were. That was all she needed to know.  
  
She walked to their room, mostly because she couldn't look at him. She didn't want to be around him. She couldn't be.  
  
"Fuck, will you just let me explain?" he said, walking after her.  
  
"Explain what?" she yelled, turning to look at him. They were in their room now. She felt like she could hit him. That's how angry she was. "Explain that you- that you've been lying to me the entire time? That you don't give a shit about trust or loyalty as long as you have it? That it doesn't matter how I feel? What I need?"  
  
"Of course it fucking matters!" he yelled back, "But you don't understand. I-I didn't tell you because..."  
  
"Because what?"

"Because at first I wasn't even sure if it was true."  
  
"And after that? Why didn't you tell me after that?"  
  
"Because they aren't like you!" he yelled.  
  
"What the hell does that mean?"  
  
"Your people. The ones who landed? They aren't...they aren't good people, Clarke."  
  
"Wow" she said, shaking her head at him. "And how would you know? Have you met any of them?"  
  
"No and from what I've heard I don't fucking want to."  
  
"My mother might be out there!" she yelled.  
  
"I know! I've...I've tried to find her" he said.  
  
"What? How?" she asked. She wasn't sure why she was asking. It wasn't as if she could believe anything he told her, not after this.  
  
"Clarke, when you were on the way here...I found out about the others. That's why the ship went back. I figured- I figured that if I was going to take you guys in, I could take the rest. That's why I wanted to make the alliance. I knew there were a lot more of you. That your people possessed technology and weapons. And numbers. And they needed somewhere to go. I could offer them that. But..." he said, looking away.  
  
"But what?"

"Once the ship landed, two of my men left. They went to find your people. I told those men to tell your people that you were here, that you were safe. That they were welcomed. But they never made it back. Eventually the other's couldn't wait anymore so the ship came back and the others told me about what happened."  
  
"But that doesn't mean anything! They-they could have died while they were in the Dead Zone! The Trikru grounders, or grounders from another clan could have killed them!"  
  
"I know!" he yelled, angry now. "I fucking know that. But it's very, very unlikely."  
  
"And why do you say that?"  
  
"Because of my alliance with the Commander of the thirteen clans. She knew I was planning on bringing all of you here. I'm sure she let her leaders know. She wanted me too, actually. She basically asked me to take your people away."  
  
Clarke shook her head. It didn't make sense.  
  
"But despite that" he said, "I sent another party. The ship went back again. I swear, Clarke. I sent them again. And this time I sent more people. Ten of my men went to find your people."  
  
"And?" she asked. She hated herself for feeling a little hopeful.  
  
"And ten men never came back" he said, his voice cold now.  
  
"That...that doesn't mean anything" she said. She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, him or herself.  
  
"That's why I didn't tell you...I knew what you would say. I knew how you would react. And I didn't want you to become hopeful because like I said...these people, the others, they aren't like you" he said, reaching forward to grab her hand.

She yanked it away.  
  
"But isn't that what you thought of us, too? Didn't the others fill your head with bad stories about us? About what we'd done? And it was nothing like that! You were wrong then! You might be wrong now!" she yelled.  
  
"I'm not wrong" he said. She could tell he was fighting to keep his voice even.  
  
"You don't know that!"  
  
"Yes I fucking do!" he yelled, no longer trying to contain his anger. "I fucking know. Based on what I heard about you, I figured that you did what you did to stay alive. But these people aren't like that, Clarke. And because they're yours, you won't see that. You won't believe anything you hear because you think they're like you. But they aren't."  
  
"Well maybe they're doing the same thing! Just trying to stay alive!" she yelled back.  
  
"Yeah? You think so?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.  
  
"What?"  
  
"A group of them, the ones that landed near Ice Nation territory, slaughtered an entire village a few days after they landed. Not even a full two weeks later, they did the same thing. Is that something that you and yours did when you landed?"  
  
"No-no there...there must be some mistake. They would never-"  
  
"It's not a fucking mistake. It's the truth. And now, they've gotten together with another group. A much larger group. And they've been causing the Commander more problems than you guys ever did. She's...she's considering calling on the armies of the thirteen clans to kill all of them, Clarke. That's how bad it's gotten."

She sat down on the loveseat they kept in their room. She felt like her legs had given out.   
  
_In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth_ , she silently chanted to herself, willing herself to relax. She felt as if she was going to have a panic attack.  
  
"I didn't tell you because I knew how it'd make you feel...and I know your mother's name is Abby, so I told the men who went to find them to talk to an Abby Griffin and tell her everything. But like I said, they never made it back."  
  
She put her head in her hands.   
  
So not only were her people alive, but they were probably going to get killed by the Commander's army.  
  
"You-you have to do something" she said, looking up at him.  
  
"What else can I do? I'm not...I'm not sending any more of my men to their deaths for people who don't want to be here."  
  
"Send one of us! I-I'll go" she says, getting up.  
  
"What? No fucking way."  
  
"You can't tell me what to do. If you won't help my people than I will."  
  
"Clarke, did you hear any of what I just said? Do you really want to help those people?"  
  
"It's my mother, Bellamy! She could be out there! And-and even if what they are saying is true- and that's a big _if_ \- I know she isn't a part of that!"  
  
"That may be so, Clarke. And I'd like to believe that it isn't true but what else can I do?"

"You don't have to do anything. I'll go. My people will go" she said, turning to leave the room. She had to tell the others.  
  
"Are you serious? Did you forget about the fact that you guys barely made it here the first time? Or the fact that if any of the other grounders see you, they'll kill you?" he said, moving to stand in her way.  
  
"Get the hell out of my way Bellamy" she said, "And no, I didn't fucking forget! But I won't just sit here and let them all die!"  
  
He sighed.   
  
"That's not a good idea" he said, shaking his head.  
  
"Well it's the only one I have, so."  
  
"Fine. I'll send another group" he said, sighing again.  
  
"You-you will?" she asked. She was a little surprised.  
  
"Well you aren't giving me much of a choice. But one of your people should go with them. I've given them proof, but maybe hearing it from one of you will be convincing enough. But not you" he said.  
  
"I'm their leader" she said back. The last thing she wanted to do was go back to the Dropship, but she didn't really feel like she had a choice.  
  
"I know. But I-I don't...I don't trust these people, Clarke. And I don't think you should either. But I know you well enough by now to know that nothing I say will make any difference. So I'll give it another try. I'll send another group. But you, you need to stay."

She didn't feel like giving in. After everything he'd done, the last thing she wanted to do was to give him what he wanted. But again, the more selfish part of her was glad he'd said it. She didn't want to go, not really. And it wasn't about him. It was mostly because she couldn't bear the thought of making that journey again. Not only because of the exertion, but because of all of the horrible things that had happened during that time. She was pretty sure that she couldn't handle it. A person could only take so much.  
  
"Fine. Send someone else" she finally said.  
  
"I will. But Clarke...if those things are true, if your people really are that terrible-"  
  
"Oh my god, we thought the same thing about you, Bellamy! How the hell can you even say that?"  
  
"You know what? Fine" he said, "I'll take your fucking word for it. I hope that I'm wrong. I hope they all are. I hope the others are just like the 49 of you that came here."  
  
"They are!" she yelled. There was no way that the Commander or the other grounders were right. Her people would never do such monstrous things.  
  
"Okay" he said, finally getting out of her way. The conversation was over.  
  
"But Bellamy?" she said, looking over at him.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm only staying because my people need this alliance. I will never forgive you for this" she said, walking out of their bedroom.  
  
He didn't respond.  
  
She heard him getting ready for bed as she settled down on the couch.

Despite the fact that he was willing to try again, that he was going to send another group to look for the other Sky People, she was still so, so fucking angry at him. And there was no way that she could ever trust him again.  
  
But her people needed this place. The others would too, once they found them. They needed somewhere safe to live. So she would stay. She'd stay married to the king because she needed this alliance. But she would never, ever let herself be fooled by Bellamy Blake again. 

* * *

 

She told her people the next morning. Well, the ones who were still around.  
  
They were confused, naturally, about why Bellamy had kept it from them. But Clarke didn't tell them about why he had decided to keep the information to himself. She did tell Raven, Miller, Monty and Jasper, though. They were just as skeptical as she was. There was no way the things Bellamy had claimed could be true.  
  
After lunch, he told her that he would be sending another group the next day. A boy from the Dropship, Dax, would be going with them since he was one of the best fighters the delinquents had to offer.  
  
She only nodded in response.  
  
Yeah, she was staying. Yeah, she was still married to him. But that didn't mean she had to be his friend, or anything close to that.  
  
Days passed. Weeks.  
  
"I'm sorry" he said one night. She had just crawled into their bed after another long day in the healer's quarters. She went to her side and turned her back on him, not wanting to hear another apology.  
  
"Clarke, please just talk to me. I really am sorry. I wanted to tell you but-"  
  
"But nothing" she said. "And don't act like you're sorry. The only thing you're sorry about is finally getting caught."  
  
It was what he had said to her at the cottage. She hoped it hurt him just as much as it hurt her, all those months ago.   
  
After that, he tried to apologize a few more times. But once he realized that he wouldn't get anything more than a few nasty words and a scowl in response, he stopped trying.

Part of her, the part that had already begun to miss him and what they had, wanted herself to give in. To accept his apology and put it all behind them. He was trying to find the others, after all.  
  
But the other part found it hard to even look at him.  
  
She wasn't sure when exactly she'd fallen in love with Bellamy Blake. But it wasn't like that was important now.

Love wasn't part of their arrangement. It wasn't a condition.   
  
It had crept up on her slowly, like winter did the fall.   
  
But now everything was cold.

* * *

 

"How long do you think it'll take them?" she asked one night over dinner. She didn't really want to talk to him; they'd been ignorning each other for weeks. "I mean, how long does it usually take?"  
  
"I don't really know" he said, shrugging. "It was different with you. Trikru brought you across the land, all my people had to do was wait. I don't know for sure how long it will take them to get back, considering your people might be in more than one place."  
  
"Oh" she said.  
  
"But if I had to guess, I would say that my people should have reached them by now. The ones residing in Trikru territory, anyway. And if they decided to come...they should be here in less than a month."  
  
She nodded in response.   
  
The next night, Finn came to visit the castle.  
  
She told him about what had happened. He seemed a little smug. It kind of made her want to punch him. She asked him again about how he found out, but he never really gave her a direct answer. However it was that he found out, it must have been bad enough to get him in trouble. So he stayed silent.  
  
The next few weeks past by agnonizingly slow. Each day, she got up and went to the healers quarters. She'd treat cuts and patch up wounds. It was getting colder and colder each day, so more people started coming in with sore throats and colds. 

It was a good distraction. A distraction she needed, because she grew more and more nervous with each passing day. Had her people been found? Were they on the way? Was there some sort of explanation about where Bellamy's people had disappeared to?  
  
She hoped so.  
  
She hoped, more than anything, that these people were like the 48 she'd come here with. Scared but kindhearted. Most of them, anyway.  
  
"Can you blame the guy?" Murphy said one morning after training.   
  
"What?" Clarke asked. He'd found out, too. They had let him into their inner circle. But unlike the others, he didn't seem as upset.  
  
"I mean...we all know what they're like, up there. These are people who floated each other for stealing medicine. Would you want those kind of people here if you were the king?"  
  
"Not all of them are like that, Murphy. Some of us have friends. Family" Miller said, "And besides, up there they didn't have a choice."  
  
"Lucky you" Murphy said. "But you're wrong, Nathan. There's always a choice."  
  
"And when the fuck did you become so enlightened, Murphy? Where'd they teach you that? Earth Skills 101?" Miller asked, a little moved to anger.  
  
"Everything I learned," Murphy began, "I learned on the ground. They could have all died up there, as far as I'm concerned."

When she wasn't thinking about her people and what was going on on the outside, she was going back and forth with herself regarding her feelings for Bellamy. She missed him. She hated to admit it, but she missed him.  
  
She missed his laugh, and his smile. She still saw those things, but she was never the source. She was never the person he was smiling at or laughing with. She missed being held at night. They'd gone back to sleeping on opposite sides of the bed.

She missed reading with him. She missed teasing him. Hell, she even missed fighting with him.  
  
But whenever she accidentally made eye contact with him, or looked up to find him looking at her, she'd be reminded of what he'd done. How he kept something so....so vital from her. How the entire time she was fighting to be honest with him, he was being dishonest with her. And now she couldn't stop herself from questioning every single thing that had happened between them.  
  
Once, her father had told her that love didn't exist without trust. Not just romantic love. But family love, friendship love. No kind of love was real without trust.  
  
And for a while, he didn't trust her. But now, it was she who couldn't trust him.  
  
Some days it was easy. She barely saw him and by the time he came to their quarters, she was fast asleep.  
  
Other days, it felt like pure torture. She'd look up and see him watching her from the other side of the room. Or she'd find him reading a book in their room, his eyebrows knitted in frustration as he tried to figure something out. Her heart would skip a beat and she'd find herself longing for what could have been. What should have been.  
  
One morning, she woke up and an unnatural light was coming through the windows. A light she'd never seen before.

She made her way to the window and looked outside, gasping a little.  
  
Everything was coated in white. Little specks of white dust were falling from the sky.  
  
 _Snow._   
  
She'd read about snow. Seen the pictures. But none of that did the actual concept of it any justice. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.   
  
And it was everywhere. On the ground, on the castle, on the trees.  
  
"What are you looking at?" Bellamy asked from behind her.   
  
She jumped a little, she hadn't heard him getting up.  
  
"It's snowing?" she said, like maybe she was wrong.  
  
"Oh, wow. Yeah. It's snowing" he said, joining her at the window. "Do you want to go outside?"   
  
She was a little surprised. It'd been a long time since he asked her to do anything other than pass the wine or move out of the way.  
  
A part of her really wanted to say no, hoping to hurt him a little. But she didn't think it would, so she agreed.  
  
They bundled up in their coats and boots and long sleeved shirts. At the last minute, he draped a thick red scarf around her neck and they made their way outside.

There was a group of six kids playing in the big field behind the castle. Clarke had seen them around all the time. They were in the throne room for every single meal. She'd even treated a few of them, but she wasn't really sure who they were or why they lived at the castle.   
  
She took a few steps outside and watched in wonder as her boots sunk into the snow, leaving footprints as she walked. She bent down to touch it.  
  
 _Soft._

She wasn't sure how she was expecting it to feel, but it wasn't this.   
  
She looked up and watched the snowflakes falling from the sky. On an impulse, she opened her mouth and felt a snowflake land and melt on her tongue. She closed her eyes and let a few more land on her face and in her hair before turning around to look at Bellamy.  
  
He'd been watching her, but when she met his gaze he turned away and looked around, taking the scene in.  
  
After a while he went over and talked to the kids for a bit. There were four boys and two girls, and they all seemed pretty young. Probably between the ages of six to ten.   
  
Eventually, he made his way back to Clarke.  
  
"Who are those kids?" she asked, "How come they live here?"  
  
"They're...they're orphans."  
  
"Oh" she said, "I thought you said there was an orphanage in the village where you grew up? That that's where the kids were sent?"  
  
"It was" he said, looking over at the kids again "After I became king, I moved them here."  
  
"Oh" she said again. She couldn't think of a better response.

She looked over at him. His usually tan cheeks were red from the cold. So was the tip of his nose. Snowflakes landed in his dark, curly hair and for a second she wanted to run her hand through it.  
  
She pushed the urge down as she went over to help the kids make something they called a 'snowman', which really didn't resemble a man at all. It was just three different sized balls of snow with sticks for arms and rocks for eyes.  
  
As she watched one of the girls place rocks on the snowman's face, giving him a smile, she felt something hit her in the back.   
  
It was definitely snow.  
  
She looked around and noticed that Bellamy and three of the other boys were across from Clarke and the three other kids, making their own snowman. It had to be one of them.  
  
She turned back to her own snowman, determined that her groups had to look better than Bellamy's. It was childish, but still.  
  
Just as they were finishing up, she felt another ball of snow hit her in the back.  
  
She turned around again, but again, Bellamy and the boys with him were focused on building their own snowman. _Too focused,_ she decided.  
  
"Who threw that?" she asked.  
  
"Threw what?" one of the boys said, trying to keep from smiling.  
  
Clarke narrowed her eyes.  
  
She turned back to her snowman and not even a minute later, she was hit with another snowball.

"It was him!" one of the girls yelled. "Your Grace! You should not throw snowballs at our lady, it isn't kind!" She couldn't have been older than six. Her serious, exasperated tone made Clarke smile. She was adorable.  
  
"It was him?" Clarke asked her, pointing at Bellamy.  
  
"Yes m'lady" the little girl said.  
  
"Should we get him back?" Clarke asked her.  
  
"I dunno, m'lady" the girl said, shrugging.  
  
"Why don't you call me Clarke?" Clarke suggested as she picked up some snow and formed a little ball.  
  
She rose to her feet and took a few steps towards Bellamy. He and the three boys with him had their backs turned, working on their snowman.  
  
It felt great to see the snowball hit him in the back of the head and not his back, which was what she was really aiming for.  
  
He turned at looked at Clarke, who only rose a eyebrow and pursed her lips, challenging him.  
  
She didn't really expect him to retaliate, so she didn't even have time to turn when a snowball hit her in the chest.

"Get him!" she yelled, bending down to scoop up more snow. The two girls and they boy who had been in her group joined her and they all made snowballs and threw them at Bellamy. Eventually even the boys from his own group joined in. But whenever he threw one back, he only aimed at Clarke.  
  
In the end, he was beaten by sheer force. It was seven to one, after all.  
  
After about half an hour, they stopped. All of their cheeks were red and Clarke's fingertips felt like they were going to fall off. Bellamy eventually told one of the guards to take the kids inside so that they could warm up and eat.  
  
It was stupid and childish but Clarke couldn't help but feel a little happy. It was the funnest thing she'd done in weeks.  
  
But after the kids left, and it was only her and Bellamy, it didn't seem so fun anymore. So she made her way inside, trying to forget about the fact that he, the king, just spent the morning playing with orphans he let live in his castle. And the stupid way the snowflakes tangled in his dark eyelashes.  
  
She went out of her way trying to ignore him the rest of the day.

* * *

 

A few nights later, Bellamy didn't come to dinner. She and Octavia ate in silence, watching the others.  
  
"Where's Bellamy?" Clarke asked. Mostly for something to say. The silence was becoming awkward.  
  
"Why do you care?" Octavia said.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I said, why do you care? Haven't you written him off?" Octavia said, her voice angry.  
  
That pissed Clarke off. If anyone should be angry, it's her. And her friends. They were the ones that had been lied to for months.  
  
"Do you have something to say to me, Octavia? Are you seriously mad because I haven't forgiven him for lying to me for months?"  
  
"I don't give a shit, Clarke. He wanted to tell you. You know why he didn't. And I knew you'd react like this. I knew you wouldn't understand."  
  
"Well, sorry for not being _understanding,_ Octavia. My mother-"  
  
"Yeah yeah. You're mother. He tried to find her. You know that."  
  
"I don't care!" Clarke yelled. "If he would have just told me-"  
  
"What would you have done? Gone after them? Hah!"  
  
"Fuck you, Octavia."

"Did you forget about the fact that you guys would have all been killed if it weren't for us? If it weren't for him? We saved you. Trikru would have massacred all of you, if Bellamy wouldn't have decided to bring you here. And he tried to do the same for the others. So don't act like some ungrateful little-"  
  
"I didn't forget!" Clarke yelled. A few people looked up, hearing the two of them argue. "But that doesn't give him, or you for that matter, the right to lie to us."  
  
"Whatever" Octavia said, getting up. "All I know is you've brought us nothing but trouble. We've lost our own people because of you. And you have the audacity to sit here and act all angry because you were lied to. Like you've always been so honest. You lied to him too, remember that? You lied to protect Finn. The difference is, he didn't tell you because he was worried about how _you_ would feel."  
  
Clarke watched her leave. Strangely her conversation with Octavia reminded her of the conversation she'd had with Wells the night before he died. She was tired of people lying to her for her own good.   
  
After dinner, she went to her room and found Bellamy in bed looking kind of sick.  
  
She didn't really want to, but she placed the back of her hand on his forehead after she crawled in.  
  
"You're sick" she said, shaking her head.  
  
"I'm fine. Just a little fever, is all" he said, shrugging it off.  
  
"You haven't eaten anything" she said. She wasn't really sure why she cared. _He's the king and you're the queen, you have to care,_ she told herself. But it felt like a poor excuse.

"I'm not hungry" he said back.  
  
"Yeah, because you're sick" she said, rolling her eyes.   
  
She left their room and went down to the kitchen. She asked one of the women there to make him some soup while she went to the healers quarters for the herbs they were giving people to treat colds.   
  
She (kind of reluctantly) made him some tea and put it on a tray along with the soup and brought it up to their room. _It's because you're a healer,_ she told herself. _You have to care._  
  
She set the tray down on her vanity table and told him to get out of bed. After a few exchanges of rude words, mostly _asshole_ and _dumbass_ , he got out of bed and made his way to the loveseat where she placed the tray in his lap.  
  
"Thanks" he said.  
  
"Whatever. Just eat the soup and make sure to drink the tea" she said before heading to bed.  
  
He did.  
  
She urged him to stay in bed and rest the next day, and they argued for the first time in weeks. He didn't stay in bed. But he drank the tea she brought him and made sure to eat a little food during meals.  
  
The cold passed and he was back to his usual snarky self within a couple of days.

* * *

 

Clarke was sitting on the loveseat wrapped in a thick blanket, reading one of Bellamy's old books when he walked into the room a few days later and placed a big wooden box on the floor at her feet.  
  
"Here you go" he said. He walked away, going to his side of the room to change before she could say anything.  
  
"What is it?" she asked.  
  
"A present."  
  
"A present? For what?"  
  
"Can't a man bring his wife a present?" he said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Instead of responding with her own snarky comment, curiosity got the best of her and she sat down on the floor next to the box. She opened it and found it full of tin cans and paint brushes of all sizes.  
  
She picked one of the cans up and opened it, finding a sky-blue shade of paint inside.  
  
"Wow" she said, "Paint. Why?"   
  
"Just a thank you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being a stubborn woman and helping me when I was sick."

"Oh" she said, dipping her pinky into the container she opened. "What will I paint on?"  
  
"Whatever the hell you want" he said, getting in bed.   
  
She thought about it for a while. She opened every single tin so that she could look at the colors he'd gotten her. It was...it was nice of him.  
  
He fell asleep, and she picked the heavy box up and went over to her dresser. She decided it was the first thing she wanted to paint on.  
  
"Wow" Bellamy said the next morning, waking her up.  
  
"What?" she mumbled, trying to fall back asleep.  
  
"This is amazing, Clarke."  
  
"Thanks" she said, turning to watch him through the sheer fabric that hung around the bed.  
  
She'd painted the castle and how it looked that morning when she saw her first snowfall. It was pretty good, she had to admit. And it took hours.  
  
So with that in mind, she fell back asleep.  
  
That night, he told her she could paint his dresser, too. If she wanted.  
  
"What do you want me to paint on it?" she asked. They rarely had conversations in bed anymore. It felt like those first few nights all over again.  
  
"I don't care. Whatever you want. I'm sure it'll be great no matter what" he said, turning on his side. She was glad he wasn't looking at her. A blush had crept it's way onto her face.  
  
"Okay" she said, "I will."

After a few hours in the healers quarters and training with Raven, she went back to their room and started painting Bellamy's dresser.  
  
For some reason, she wanted it to be the opposite of hers.  
  
So again, she painted the castle. But where it was winter on her side, all shades of blue, grey and white; his side was the castle in the summer, all shades of green, brown and yellow.   
  
She wasn't sure which one she liked more.  
  
In a weird way, the paintings reminded her of just how different they were. She knew herself well enough to admit that even though she was a caring person, she was cold. Distant, sometimes. Yeah, she was a healer. She wanted to keep people alive. But at the end of the day, she was willing to sacrifice whatever and whomever it took to keep the ones she loved alive. She knew it wasn't solely for them, but for herself, as well. That's why she held a grudge against Wells for so long. That's why she couldn't find it in her heart to forgive her mother; even though it was what her father would have wanted.  
  
But Bellamy was warm. Like the summer time.   
  
She felt a little nervous about his reaction. She knew it was good. She wasn't ashamed to take pride in her work. But still.  
  
"What do you think?" she asked after he studied it for a few minutes.  
  
"It's good" he said, turning to look at her. He looked back at the painting, and then turned to look at the one on her side. "Really good."  
  
"Thanks" she said.

He reached forward and touched the tip of her nose. His finger came away green.   
  
"Pretty" he said, looking at his finger.  
  
She turned away from him. For some reason, the whole ordeal made her heart ache.  
  
"Why-why didn't you tell me, Bellamy?" she said, not wanting to meet his eye. "You were going to, when we were at the cottage. You started to say it, but then you didn't. And you never brought it up again. Why?"   
  
She wasn't sure where this was coming from. They hadn't talked about it since the night they argued, when she told him she'd never forgive him.  
  
He sighed.  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"My reasons? They don't really matter. I could tell you ten different things and not one would make you feel any better. So why are you even asking?"  
  
"I don't know. But I want you to tell me why anyway."

"I wanted to tell you. I was going to. I almost did, because you looked so...so sad, talking about your mother. But I knew that what I was going to tell you wouldn't be...wouldn't be what you wanted to hear. And I know that's wrong. I know, but I just- I wanted to protect you from that. And I know it wasn't my place. And that if the situation was reversed I wouldn't want to forgive you either...so that's why I've let it go."  
  
She nodded.   
  
After that, they went to bed.  
  
Her anger at him had dwindled in the weeks that passed. The only thing left was disappointment.   
  
She missed him. And not just in the romantic way. Yeah, she missed the way he held her and yeah, there were nights when she thought about making the first move and feeling her lips pressed on his.  
  
But mostly she missed who he was. She missed the person who'd gotten Monty to talk after weeks of silence, the person who loved his sister and the person who wanted to make this place a safehaven for strangers, for outsiders. She missed him because despite the fact that he had lied to her, he cared about her and her friends. He cared about all of his people. He had a kind heart. Yeah, he was an asshole sometimes but he was also respectful, and funny, and charming and a good person.   
  
And he had apologized, over and over. And not only to her, but to her friends as well. And they had forgiven him. They had tried to convince her to do the same. To think about what she would have done if she were in his position, knowing what he knew (or _thinking_ he knew) about the others. 

"That's different" she had said, when Monty tried to convince her to let it go.  
  
"How?" he asked.  
  
 _Because you didn't have sex with him, Monty. You're not married to him. You're not in love with him,_ she thought. But she said nothing. She didn't want to admit that it specifically hurt her because he didn't tell _her_. She was supposed to be different. If he would have told her, and not the others, she wouldn't have minded as much. Maybe that made her selfish.   
  
With that in mind, she turned and inched towards him until he was close enough to touch.  
  
She moved until she was lying on her side, and wrapped her arm around his middle. He tensed at the touch for a few minutes, his muscles went stiff and his whole body became rigid.  
  
"This is just for warmth" she whispered, "So don't get any ideas."  
  
"Okay" he said, but she could almost hear his small smile. It was what he said to her at the cottage, after he held her for the first time. _Is he thinking about it, too?_  
  
"And Bellamy?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I don't hate you. I'm still really fucking mad at you. And I don't know if I'll ever get over it. But I don't hate you" she whispered against his back.  
  
"Okay" he said again, but his body relaxed.  
  
She'd missed this. But it felt different, which kind of made her sad. 

The feeling made her scoot closer until her chest was pressed against his back. He placed his hand on top of the one she had around him.  
  
 _That's better_ , she thought before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

 

"They should have been back by now" Octavia said a few mornings later over breakfast.  
  
"I know" Bellamy said.  
  
Clarke remained quiet. At first, she hoped the delay was due to the long journey from the Dropship to the sea. Maybe it had something to do with the weather? Maybe her people had left, in search of the hundred? It would have taken longer for Bellamy's people to find them.  
  
But now, even she had to admit that something must have gone wrong.  
  
"Don't you guys have other ships?" she asked. She had heard they kept one in each direction; north, east, south and west.  
  
"Yeah, and we'd like to keep them" Octavia said. Clarke could tell that she was angry. "So don't even think about asking us to risk losing another. Or, you know, asking more of our people to die looking for yours."  
  
"Octavia..." Bellamy said, a warning in his voice.  
  
"No, Bellamy. You shouldn't have sent them in the first place, not after the first two times."  
  
Clarke stayed quiet. She could understand why Octavia felt that way. The other Sky People were complete strangers to her. But to Clarke they were friends, neighbors, peers. Her mother.  
  
She wanted to bring up the idea of sending another party. But she figured that she should wait until Octavia left. Clarke could imagine how she would react. Octavia had become more closed off since they found out. Clarke had a feeling that it had something to do with Raven. They weren't hanging out anymore. They didn't even train together. Raven, it seemed, was just as angry as Clarke was. Neither one of them could forgive the Blakes that easily.   
  
They ate in silence after that.

Octavia eventually left.

_I_ _t's now or never_ , Clarke thought.   
  
"Maybe-maybe you should send another party?" she asked. "I mean, you don't have to send many people. Just a few of yours and maybe a few of mine?"  
  
He looked over at her, but she couldn't really read his expression.  
  
"I'll think about it" he said.  
  
"Okay" she said, nodding. It was the best she could hope for.  
  
She went to the healers quarters after that, and she ended up having a lot to do so she didn't get to see Bellamy until dinner time.   
  
But Octavia was with them. If anything, she only seemed more pissed than she'd been that morning. Clarke knew she had to wait to talk to Bellamy.  
  
After dinner, they made their way to their chambers. She stayed silent on the way, thinking about how to persuade him. She realized he was right, when he called her manipulative all those months ago.  
  
He sat down on the couch in their front room and she joined him. She got up and tended to the fire in the fireplace before sitting back down and starting the conversation.  
  
"So have you thought about it?" she asked. She didn't want to seem too pushy. But they were losing time.  
  
"Yeah, I have."  
  
"And?"

"And I'll send another party" he said, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
"What? Really?" she asked. She was a little surprised. She figured that she'd need to argue with him, push him in the right direction.  
  
"Yeah, really."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"What?" he said, smiling at her. "Isn't that what you want?"  
  
"Well, yeah" she said, smiling a little, "But I didn't think you'd actually do it. Well, not that easily."  
  
He shrugged.  
  
"When?" she asked.  
  
"The day after tomorrow. I'll leave for a village in the south tomorrow night. We'll leave the next morning at first light."  
  
That brought her up short. _What? He's leaving?_  
  
"Why? Why are you leaving?"  
  
"Because I'm going with them."  
  
"Why?" she asked. She hated the fact that the idea made her a little scared. She was sure that her people weren't behind the reason that Bellamy's men had gone missing. That they weren't behind the reason the ship still hadn't returned. But despite that, she felt scared.

"I'd like to know what's going on. Why my people haven't returned. What exactly is happening on the outside."  
  
"Can...can I come with you?" she asked. She still didn't want to go, but she couldn't really bear the thought of him going without her.  
  
"No" he said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you're the queen. Who will lead our people while I'm gone?"  
  
"Then let me go instead."  
  
"No" he repeated. "I need to know what's going on, Clarke. I need to find out what's happened to my people."  
  
"But they're mine too!" she yelled. She wasn't sure why she became so angry all of a sudden.  
  
"Yes, they are. But so are the ones that will stay here."  
  
She sighed in frustration.   
  
"Will you miss me?" he asked, smiling a little.  
  
She looked over at him. For some reason the site of him sitting there, with the firelight dancing in his eyes, made her want to cry. He'd been there all along; he was here now. But the thought of him leaving and her not being able to follow made a lump form in her throat.  
  
"What is it?" he asked, noticing her expression.

"I don't want you to go" she whispered.   
  
He scooted closer to her, a little timidly.   
  
"It'll be fine. I'll be back before you know it."  
  
 _But you don't know that_ , she thought. But she couldn't say it.   
  
"Don't...don't go" she said.  
  
"Clarke..."  
  
"Send someone else. Please, just, don't go."  
  
He sighed.  
  
"I have to. I need to. And I will come back, I promise."  
  
She knew he had made up his mind. Nothing she said or did could stop him. And a part of her admired him for it, for being they type of king who would risk his life for his people. And for hers.  
  
They sat in silence for a little while. She wasn't sure when she'd come closer to him, when she'd put her head on his shoulder.  
  
Eventually he said that it was time for bed. She stood up, feeling angry and scared and maybe even a little desperate.  
  
"Why are you doing this? I mean, you didn't even want to send the first party. Why are you so willing to send another?" she asked as he got up.

"Because I know it's what you want. I know it'll make you happy."  
  
"But...what if you were right? What if they're behind all of this?" she asked, shifting a little so that they were standing directly across from one another. She couldn't really believe she was having doubts in what her people had done. In who they were.  
  
"It doesn't matter. I know you'll never be happy here if I didn't try."  
  
She searched his eyes for reluctance, or anger, or anything really. But she didn't find any of that. If anything, he looked determined.  
  
"Bellamy..."  
  
"It will be okay, Clarke. I'll be fine"  
  
"How can you say that? You don't know! It-it isn't worth the risk!"  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
"Why? How do you know?"  
  
"Because I love you."  
  
She could feel the tears gather at the edges of her eyes. _What? What did he just say?_  
  
He grabbed her hand.  
  
"I love you. And I want you to be happy."

_I love you too,_ she thought. But she didn't say it.  
  
He let go of her hand and gave her a little nod before turning and going into their bedroom. She sat back down on the couch.   
  
As much as she wanted to believe that there was some rational explanation for all of this, a part of her was scared. And now he was leaving. And she would have to stay here with her fear and her longing and her doubts.  
  
She let herself cry for a little while. She let herself feel all of the hurt, all of the pain of the past few months, starting with his betrayal and ending with his upcoming departure.  
  
She was a little surprised to find that her feelings for him hadn't changed, not really. Yeah, she'd been angry. Hurt. Disappointed.  
  
But she loved him too much to stop caring.  
  
She tiptoed into their bedroom, figuring that he had probably fallen asleep.  
  
He had. So after she crawled into bed, she watched him sleep. He looked so much younger, so much more peaceful while he slept.   
  
She laid down next to him and scooted over until their sides were pressed to one another.   
  
She'd never really felt like she _belonged_ with anyone. But laying beside him as he slept made her realize that she did. _This is what it's supposed to be like_ , she thought. _We're meant to stay together, to lead together._ Maybe the reason she'd always lead alone, the reason she'd always felt alone, was because he was here, all this time. Waiting.

* * *

 

In the morning, her eyes were red.  
  
But if he noticed, he didn't say anything.  
  
She had thought that she wanted him to tell her that he loved her. Despite everything that had happened between them, she knew she loved him. So hearing those words from him should have made her happy. She _should_ have felt happy.   
  
But she didn't.  
  
And it all came back to his decision to leave with the next party. That made his ' _I love you'_ seem like a ' _just in case'_.  
  
So she found it hard to look at him the next day. She had come to terms with his decision, she knew nothing could change his mind.  
  
He must have told Octavia, because she was seething with anger the next morning. She glared at Clarke throughout breakfast and lunch.  
  
Clarke tried not to take it personally. She could understand where Octavia was coming from. Hell, she didn't like the idea any more than Octavia had. But Clarke doubted Octavia would understand, or believe her if she said anything.  
  
So she didn't.  
  
Clarke spent the afternoon in her bedroom. She told the healer that she wasn't feeling well, that she couldn't work today. Mostly she didn't want anyone to ask about why she seemed so upset.

She knew Bellamy would be leaving after dinner. Why he was going so late, she didn't really know. He said it was because of preparations. What they were preparing for, she didn't want to think about.  
  
She decided to join them for dinner. She didn't really want to, but she didn't know when she'd get the chance to do it again.   
  
On her way inside, she noticed Finn had joined them for dinner. Their people didn't sit in the places they sat when they had first come. Now they were all over the place, since they'd become friends with they others in the castle. She didn't return his greeting smile.  
  
Bellamy made small talk, tried to get both her and Octavia to talk, to smile. But neither one of them really felt like it.  
  
At some point, Octavia grew angry enough to leave, stomping out of the throne room.  
  
Bellamy sighed, watching her go.  
  
"I think she's mad" he said, trying to get Clarke to smile. She didn't find it that amusing.   
  
He sighed again.  
  
"Why can't you understand?" he said, looking over at her.  
  
She didn't have anything to say.  
  
"Look, Clarke. I don't want to leave. I'd much rather just send another party. But I can't- I won't send any more of my men to face something unknown. I can't keep watching them go and waiting for them to return. Can you understand that?"  
  
"No, I can't."

"Well what the hell do you want me to do? Sit and wait? What kind of king does that make me?"  
  
"I don't know! I don't care about what kind of king it makes you, Bellamy!" she knew she shouldn't be yelling. She knew the others might overhear. "Maybe..maybe you shouldn't send another party at all. You've already lost enough."  
  
"You don't mean that."  
  
"Don't tell me what I mean!"  
  
"So, what? Suddenly you don't care about finding the rest of your people?"  
  
"Of course I care! But I don't think it's worth it anymore. You were right. I don't understand. They are mine so maybe that clouded my judgement before. Maybe you were right. Maybe the others, maybe the Commander is right. Maybe my people are that bad" she said, not quite believing the words coming out of her mouth.  
  
"Even if you feel that way now, you'll never stop thinking about them. About what might have happened. About the possibility of being wrong. I won't make you live with that" he said, lowering his voice.  
  
"I can live with that" she said, finding it hard to look at him, "But if something happens to you..."  
  
They ate in silence after that. Even after she was done, she made no move to leave. For some reason, she felt like it was all coming to an end. That if he left, she'd never see him again. So she stayed, hoping to make the night last forever. Part of her knew that it was foolish, that it was only a matter of time before he'd get up to leave.  
  
But he stayed, too.

Eventually they were the only two left in the throne room. She wasn't sure how long they stayed. It might have been hours. It might have been minutes.  
  
"I have to go" he said.  
  
She looked over at him. In that moment, she wasn't sure if she hated him for wanting to go or if she loved him for it. Maybe both.  
  
She nodded, getting up.  
  
He stood and they faced one another. She knew it was time for a goodbye.  
  
But before she knew it he reached over and grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss over the scars on her wrist. He brought the hand back down and laced his fingers through hers.  
  
"Come home" she said.   
  
_Home._

"I will" he said, smiling a bit.   
  
But the smile only made her heart feel like it was breaking.  
  
He pulled her close and they hugged for the first time in over two months.   
  
"May we meet again" she whispered.  
  
"We will" he whispered back.  
  
Suddenly six guards stormed into the throne room. Bellamy let go of her. Clarke looked up in surprise, startled.

"What is the meaning of this?" Bellamy yelled, turning to face the guards.  
  
"Your...Your Grace, we-we were told that you were under attack in the throne room" one of the guards said.  
  
Clarke recognized him from the training room.  
  
The guards glanced around and mumbled to one another.  
  
"And where did you hear that?" Bellamy said.  
  
"The boy. The Sky Person" the same guard said, looking behind him. But no one else entered the room.  
  
"What Sky Person?" Bellamy said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Finn, Your Grace" another guard said.  
  
Bellamy didn't wait for them to say anything else. He started towards the door. Clarke followed, feeling her stomach drop. _What the hell is going on?_  
  
Bellamy, Clarke and the guards that had stormed into the room made their way to the training room. Clarke knew that was where he was headed. That's where the guards had come from.  
  
The doors were open. Bellamy didn't pause before storming in. The guards went in right after him. Clarke took a deep breath and followed them.

Bellamy stood in the center of the room, turning in a circle to glance at all of the walls. Clarke looked around, the blood in her body turning to ice at the site.  
  
There were weapons missing. A lot of them. Knives, swords, axes.  
  
"When I find him..." Bellamy said, glancing at Clarke. He looked absolutely murderous. But she couldn't really blame him.  
  
 _Why? Why would Finn do such a thing? And what did he plan on doing with all those weapons? Why did he need them? Why would he do that?_

It was a death sentence. He knew that. And yet, he still did what he did.   
  
 _Why?_  
  
It was the question that haunted Clarke for the rest of the night.  
  
Bellamy had left, and he took quite a few people with him. Some of them were her own. But she stayed in the castle, trying to understand. Trying to figure out why Finn had done such a thing.

* * *

 

Clarke waited up for him that night. She figured his plan to go with the next party in search of the Sky People had been put off. He wouldn't leave now, not with Finn out on the loose with so many weapons.  
  
She thought and thought about it, about why Finn had done it, but not one idea she'd had made any sense.   
  
Eventually she got tired of waiting. She left their quarters in search of someone who could give her some answers. Maybe Bellamy was back? Maybe he was holding a meeting to decide his next move? She wanted to be a part of that.  
  
But as she made a turn to go down the bridge, she saw him heading her way.  
  
If anything, he looked angrier than before.  
  
"Hey" she said, a little cautiously.  
  
She waited at the edge of the bridge. He must have been heading to their room.  
  
"Hey" he said. Even though he looked angry, his voice was gentle.  
  
"I'm sorry" she said, not really even knowing why.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Because I should have...I should have known he'd do something like this, eventually. You were right about him, and I didn't listen. I just-"

"No" he said, cutting her off, "Don't be sorry. You were just...you were seeing the good in him. Don't apologize for that. It's one of the reasons-" but he didn't finish the sentence.   
  
She waited.  
  
But he just shook his head and turned away, looking at the village below them. For some reason, he seemed...embarrassed.  
  
"One of the reasons what?" she asked, unable to stop herself.  
  
"You see the good in people" he said, shrugging "A lot of the time, I don't. It's one of the things I like about you."  
  
"Well," she began, "That's not true. I mean, you saw the good in us. When we came here? Despite what you heard...you gave us a chance" _and look at where it's gotten you,_ she thought.  
  
He didn't say anything.   
  
"So I take it you didn't find him?" she asked, moving to stand beside him. It reminded her of one of her first few nights here, the first time weapons had been taken from the training room. 

It was a little strange, being in that same position, realizing how far they'd come since that night.  
  
"No, we didn't. And honestly, I don't really care. If he took the weapons for himself so he could, I don't know, try to kill me or live in the wild or something, I wouldn't care at all. Not knowing why he did it is what's really bothering me."  
  
She nodded. It was what was bothering her, too.  
  
"So what are you going to do?"  
  
"I don't know" he said, shrugging. "Right now, I'd just like to forget about it. All of it."  
  
She understood.  
  
So with that, she interlaced her fingers through his and gave his hand a little tug. They walked to their quarters in silence.  
  
They didn't speak until they were both lying in bed, in semi-darkness.  
  
"Bellamy?" she whispered, turning on her side to face him once he'd crawled in after her.  
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Do you regret it? Letting us stay here?" He must have. Since they'd come, he hadn't gained anything. Instead, he'd lost a ship and his own people. _We've been more trouble than we're worth,_ she thought. 

"I told you, I don't regret anything I've ever done. Maybe I should have told you sooner, about your people. But since you've known, all you've done is worry. I've noticed. You don't sleep as much, you've lost weight. You were happier, when you didn't know so...so I don't really regret keeping it from you."  
  
"I appreciate where you're coming from, Bellamy. I do. But you can't make those types of decisions for me. Just like I can't make them for you. We've both tried, for different reasons. But it can't be like that between us. I want...I want to trust you again."  
  
"I want that too."  
  
"Well you have to be honest with me" she said, sitting up. They hadn't had a conversation like this in a while. Open.  
  
"I know. I will."  
  
"Don't keep anything from me. I won't care about the reasons. They don't matter. Regardless of if you think I can handle it, or anything like that."  
  
"Okay" he said, sitting up too.  
  
"I mean it, Bellamy. If you...if you lie to me again, I won't forgive you."

"I promise" he said, interlacing his fingers through hers. "I won't keep anything from you."  
  
"Swear on it" she said. She wasn't sure if they did that sort of thing. But it was the best thing she could think of. "Swear on your life. No, Octavia's life."  
  
He sighed.  
  
"I swear on every life in this goddamn castle that I won't keep anything from you. There. Satisfied?" he said, sounding a little frustrated.  
  
She nodded after scowling at him.  
  
Satisfied, she turned her back to him and tried to relax. She was more anxious now than ever. For some reason, she felt like this was all connected. Finn stealing the weapons. The ship not returning. The missing people.   
  
She heard him sigh once more before she felt him scooting closer to her and wrapping an arm around her waist.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" she asked.  
  
"Oh....um, sorry. Shit. I just- I just thought.." he stuttered, pulling his arm back.  
  
She couldn't stop herself from laughing. It was the reaction she'd been hoping for.  
  
"You are such an asshole" he said, putting his arm around her again.  
  
"Hey! That's my line!" she said in between bursts of laughter. 

"Ha-ha. Very funny."  
  
She settled down after a few minutes and tried to relax again. It was easier than before, now that he was close and she felt safe.  
  
"Why now?" he whispered from behind her.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, why'd you forgive me now? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you did. But why?"  
  
"Oh" she said, "I missed you."  
  
 _Be honest. Be honest._  
  
"And I was tired of being mad at you. And when you said that you were leaving...I thought about what happened the last few times I didn't forgive someone. My best friend, Wells? Remember I told you about him? I held a grudge for so long...and my mother? The last time we talked, I blamed her for my fathers death. I told her I didn't want to talk to her."  
  
He didn't say anything. But he must have understood, because he pulled her a little closer.  
  
"I'll do what I can to find her, I swear Clarke. I will" he whispered.  
  
She nodded.  
  
 _I love you,_ she thought. And she almost said it. Almost.  
  
She was half asleep, lulled by the sound of his breathing and the warmth of his body, so close to hers, when someone stormed into their room. She jolted at the sound of the door hitting the wall.   
  
"Your Grace! The castle is under attack!" the guard yells.

"What?" Bellamy asked, confused. But he didn't wait a second before crawling out of bed. Clarke followed.  
  
"They've-they've taken the castle! They're in the throne room!" the guard yelled.  
  
Bellamy didn't take anything with him. He didn't even put any sort of armor or gear on. He rushed past the guard, going out the door.  
  
Clarke ran to keep up.  
  
"My sister?" Bellamy asked, looking at the guard.  
  
"I don't know where she is, Your Grace" the guard said.  
  
Clarke had never, ever seen Bellamy look so scared.  
  
"Find her. Keep her safe" he said. The guard nodded and took a right turn, while Bellamy took a left, heading to the throne room.  
  
Suddenly, Clarke heard gunshots ring throughout the castle. It sounded like they were coming from the throne room.  
  
"What was that?" Bellamy asked.  
  
"Gunfire" she told him.  
  
The look on his face mirrored hers.  
  
They didn't have guns here. In fact, no grounder clan possessed such weapons.

Only one group of people had access to automatic weapons.  
  
The Sky People.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN.
> 
> The truth is out. The Sky People are very much alive! Bellamy loves Clarke! 
> 
> What the hell is going on?
> 
> Stay tuned to find out!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update and a longer chapter because you guys are the best :)
> 
> Thank you so much for your continuing feedback; the comments on the last chapter KILLED me!! I hope you guys like this one, too!

Clarke was sure that this was a terrible idea. They had no weapons, no guards with them. But the look on Bellamy's face told her that he wouldn't wait. That he was bound to get to the bottom of this, especially now that Octavia's whereabouts were a mystery to him.  
  
The doors to the throne room were open. Clarke could hear voices coming from the room. Some angry, some scared.   
  
She heard a scream.  
  
She felt like she was at the Dropship again.  
  
 _This is wrong,_ she thought. This was their safehaven. Nothing bad was supposed to happen _here_. All the evil, all the darkness couldn't reach them. _Not here._  
  
They stopped at the front doors, taking the scene in.  
  
There was a group of about fifty people in the throne room. Just looking at them, Clarke could tell that they were from the Ark.  
  
In front of the group, about what she judged to be about twenty bodies were laying on the ground.   
  
Bloody. Dead.

They took a few steps forward.  
  
Most of them were Bellamy's guards, but she could see a few of the castles servants among them.

When her eyes landed on a pair of familiar eyes, her knees buckled. It was the older man from the kitchen. The one from the Delphi clan. _The man with one hand._ She suddenly remembered that she hadn't even asked him his name.  
  
And then a loud, familiar voice shut out all the others.   
  
"This land is OURS now! Resist and you will be met by force. Fight and you will be greeted by death!"   
  
It took all her strength to peel her eyes away from the mans eyes. She looked to the front of the room. Professor Pike, her Earth Skills teacher, stood on the table that she shared with Bellamy and Octavia.  
  
"Today is a new beginning. Mark it down!" he yelled. The others in the room cheered.   
  
"On your knees!" a woman coming towards them said. Clarke vaguely recognized her. She was pretty sure that her last name was Byrne, and that she was from Farm station.  
  
The gun in her hands made Clarke put her own hands up.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" Bellamy said, glaring at the woman.  
  
"On your knees grounder! I won't ask again!"  
  
"You don't understand!" Clarke yelled. There was no way this could be happening.  
  
"ON YOUR FUCKING KNEES!" Byrne yelled.

Before Clarke could do or say anything else, Bellamy moved to stand in front of her, shielding her body from Byrne. Clarke tried to reach past him, desperate to make the woman understand that this was _wrong._  
  
"Get away from her" he said to Byrne, not even caring that she had the gun aimed at his head now. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
"What's it to you, grounder?"  
  
"I'm the fucking king. This is my castle. Who the fuck are you?"  
  
"Pike!" Byrne yelled, "I found him! Our little grounder king. Where are you keeping them? Where are the hundred?"  
  
Just as Bellamy was about to speak, another five guards ran into the room. They had their swords raised. But they didn't get a chance to use them.  
  
The gunshots from Byrne's gun rang through the room, slicing through the five guards that had just come in. They dropped to the ground.   
  
Bellamy had turned, pushing Clarke to the wall and shielding her from Byrne's assault.  
  
After she stopped shooting, he turned and looked towards the front doors, where the guards were now laying. Some of them were already dead, but at least two were still alive. Clarke could hear their screams, their moans.  
  
The look on Bellamy's face broke her heart.  
  
His eyes widened in shock and he moved to go to them but Byrne trained her gun back on him.

"Get away from him!" Clarke yelled, standing in front of Bellamy. "I'm Clarke Grif-"  
  
But she didn't get a chance to finish her sentence. She felt the force of Byrne's gun slamming into her temple. Suddenly, she thought about her weekends on the Ark as a child; watching silly cartoons with Wells. And she finally understood why whenever characters in cartoons got hit in the head, they saw stars. Her vision tunneled, and little black specks, little stars, swam in her eyes.  
  
"Clarke!" Bellamy yelled, reaching for her.  
  
He grabbed her just as she tumbled to the side, bring him down with her.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" she heard Pike say, walking towards them.  
  
"This man is the king, apparently. And his little grounder princess tried to-"  
  
"Stop!" a familiar voice yelled. "That's not a grounder!"  
  
Clarke's eyes were trained on the ground. Her head hurt so much she couldn't even lift it to identify the source. She saw a pair of boots running towards her. Whoever it was stopped a few feet away. They took a few slow steps towards her and dropped to their knees a few inches from where Clarke was half laying on the ground, half draped over Bellamy.  
  
"That's not a grounder" the voice repeated. Clarke closed her eyes for a second. _This can't be happening_ , she thought. There was no way...  
  
Suddenly she felt a hand on each cheek, lifting her head up.  
  
"That's my daughter" Abby said.

"M-mom?" Clarke asked. She couldn't believe her eyes. Was her mother really there? Or had she been hit so hard that she was hallucinating?  
  
"That's Clarke Griffin" Pike said.  
  
"I'm sorry ma'am" Byrne said, "I-I didn't know. She's dressed like them. And she was with him. I-I thought..."  
  
"Clarke, honey, it's me" Abby said, searching Clarke's eyes.  
  
"Mom" Clarke said again, her voice breaking. "You're alive. You're here."  
  
She could feel the tears slipping down her face.   
  
"Yes honey, I'm alive. I'm right here."  
  
"What are you doing? Why are you attacking us?"  
  
"Us?"  
  
"This is my kingdom. I-I'm the queen. Why are you doing this?"  
  
Abby looked confused. She looked up, meeting Pike's gaze.  
  
"We were told that you'd been taken. That you're being kept prisoner" he said, looking down at Clarke.  
  
By that point, she could see clearly again. She tried to get up.

"Clarke..." Bellamy said from beside her. She grabbed his arm, using it to help herself up. He stood up after she did, keeping an arm around her waist.  
  
"What the hell are you doing? Why did you kill those people?" Clarke asked. "They were innocent!"  
  
"Looks like she's been spending a little too much time with _them_ " Byrne said, pointing her gun at Bellamy again.  
  
"You fucking bitch" Clarke spit. "Do you have any idea what you've done? Our guards will-"  
  
"Your guards won't do anything. They're all dead. We've stormed the castle from every side. And we have guns!" Byrne yelled.  
  
"Byrne, that's enough" Pike said. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Clarke. But this place is ours now."  
  
"Like hell! This-this place is ours! Our people-"  
  
"Our people?" Pike said, raising an eyebrow. "You're one of us, Clarke."  
  
"No I-"  
  
"Bellamy!" someone yelled from outside the throne room.   
  
Clarke looked up and saw Artigas running towards them. She didn't even get a chance to tell him to stop before Byrne shot at him. He dropped to the ground.

Bellamy had been so concerned about Clarke that he'd momentarily forgotten what was going on. Before Clarke could stop him, he jumped forward and went towards Byrne.  
  
And to Clarke's horror, she shot at him too.  
  
His scream echoed around the room as the bullet sliced through his shoulder, just below his clavicle.  
  
"Bellamy!" Clarke screamed, running forward to reach him. To shield him.  
  
He didn't fall, but his hand went to his shoulder, coming away bloody.  
  
"Stop it!" she screamed at Byrne, standing in front of Bellamy.  
  
"Clarke" he said from behind her.  
  
"That's enough!" Abby yelled, moving to stand in front of Clarke. "Get your gun away from my daughter!"  
  
Suddenly Pike shot his gun at the ceiling, making all of them shut their mouths.  
  
"Clarke, get out of the way" he said, moving towards them.  
  
"No" Clarke said.  
  
"He's the king you say? I'll make this easy. Accept me as your leader, bow before me, pack your shit and get out of here and I'll let you live."  
  
Bellamy spit on the ground.

"I'm not accepting shit. You want the castle? Take it. Kill me. I bow before no one."  
  
"Have it your way" Pike said, raising his gun.  
  
"Pike! This is madness! Stop this right now!" Marcus Kane yelled. Clarke was a little surprised. She didn't know him very well, but from what she remembered, he was more bloodthirsty than anyone else on the council.  
  
"Stay out of this Marcus" Pike said.  
  
But Kane moved to stand in front of Clarke and Bellamy, right beside Abby.  
  
"Think about it. We know this isn't the only place with people. From what Finn said, there are multiple villages around here. More guards. A lot more people. Do you really think they'll stand behind you if they learn that you killed their king?"  
  
Pike thought about it.  
  
"What do you suggest, Marcus?"  
  
Kane glanced back at Bellamy, studying him.   
  
"Lock him away, for now. Wait until things settle down. We can decide later" Kane said.  
  
Pike nodded.  
  
He motioned for two of the guards to come forward.

"Take him to the dungeon" he said, nodding at Bellamy.

The two guards pushed Kane and Abby to the side. Abby reached forward to grab Clarke, to pull her out of the way but Clarke shifted so that Abby couldn't reach her. There was no way she'd let them take him.  
  
"Clarke, please!" Abby yelled.  
  
"Move aside girl" on of the guards said, placing a hand on his gun.   
  
"No" Clarke said through gritted teeth.   
  
"I won't ask you again."  
  
"Clarke" Bellamy said from behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder.   
  
She turned to face him.  
  
To her surprise, he pulled her towards him and hugged her.  
  
"Find Octavia" he whispered, "Get her out of here."  
  
"I will" she whispered back, "I-I'm so sorry."  
  
He pulled back so that he could look at her.  
  
"I wish...I wish I would have met you sooner" he said, not caring if the people around them heard.   
  
"I'll get you out of this. I promise, Bellamy" she whispered.  
  
He nodded.

"Bellamy, I-I-"  
  
"Let's go" one of the guards said, pushing Clarke to the side and grabbing Bellamy's good arm. The other guard grabbed his other side and he winced in pain.  
  
They didn't wait a second before dragging him away.  
  
"Stay down there, guard him" Pike ordered.  
  
Clarke's _I love you_ died in her throat as she watched them take him out of the room.  
  
She shook her head, trying to compose her thoughts. _I'll tell him. I'll tell him when all of this is over._  
  
She couldn't think about _what if_. She had a mission.   
  
She turned to go but Abby grabbed her arm.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I have to find my friends" Clarke said, yanking her arm out of Abby's grasp. As happy as she was to see her mother, as happy as she was that her mother was still alive, she couldn't believe what circumstances had brought them back together. How her mother could be part of something like this.  
  
"Clarke, I just got you back..."  
  
"I have to find my friends" Clarke repeated, meeting her mother's teary gaze with a hard look. 

"Am I free to leave? Or do you want to lock me in the dungeon as well?" she asked, turning to face Pike.  
  
"Of course not, Clarke. I'd appreciate it if you found the remaining hundred and brought them down here. I'm organizing my guards to go from door to door in a few minutes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"So that we can send all the grounders out" he said.  
  
"There are a lot more of them then there are of you" Clarke said, narrowing her eyes.  
  
"That may be so. But we've taken all the entrances. And we have the guns. None of them will get in. And I've told my men to tell them that as long as they leave quietly, we'll let them live."  
  
"How very noble of you" Clarke said. After that she turned away, walking out of the throne room.   
  
When she was finally out of their sight, she took a deep breath and started running. She didn't know how much time she had, but she had to find Octavia. She had to make sure that she was okay. It was what Bellamy had wanted.  
  
Clarke ran to Octavia's quarters.   
  
When she saw that the doors were already open, her stomach dropped.  
  
She went inside anyway, but she knew what she'd find; nothing.

Octavia was gone.  
  
She started running again. She had to find her friends.  
  
She ran through the castle, the cold air making it hard for her to breathe. She decided to head to Raven's room first.  
  
When she turned the last corner, she stopped short, noticing a group of people at the end of the hall.  
  
"Clarke!" Raven yelled, "What the hell is going on? We heard shooting!"  
  
Monty, Harper, Miller and Jasper were all with her.  
  
"They've-they've taken the castle" Clarke huffed. She was out of breath.  
  
"Who?" Miller asked.  
  
"The people from the Ark" a voice behind Clarke said.  
  
Clarke turned and the others did the same. Octavia stood at the end of the hall, sword in hand.   
  
"Where's my brother?" she asked through gritted teeth.  
  
"Octavia" Clarke said, "We have to get you out of here."  
  
"Where is he?"

"He's alive" Clarke said, "They've taken him but he's alive. They're gonna make all of you leave. They killed most of the guards. We have to get you out of here."  
  
Octavia turned to walk away.  
  
"Octavia!" Clarke yelled, running towards the girl. The group behind her followed. "Didn't you hear what I said? We have to get you out of here! We don't have much time!"  
  
"I'm not going anywhere without my brother" Octavia said.  
  
"It's what he wanted. He told me to get you out of here!" Clarke yelled. They were losing time. A guard from the Ark could show up at any minute.  
  
"Shut up!" Octavia said, "This is all your fault!"  
  
"What?" Clarke asked.  
  
"He told you! He told you about who they were and what they'd done! And still you pushed him! Pushed him to find them and he did! And now they've come here and taken our home. I heard what their leader said, Clarke. 'This land is ours now'?"  
  
"No Octavia..I-I didn't-"  
  
Octavia put her hand on her sword.   
  
"Octavia please" Raven said, moving to stand beside Clarke. "Clarke didn't do this. We-we had no idea..."  
  
"Yes you did. All of you knew. But you were too blind to see it. And now I've lost-I've lost my home. My people. My brother" Octavia said, her voice breaking at the end of the sentence. She shook her head. "He-he's my family. He's all I have."

"I know that" Raven said, " _We_ know that. But you won't be any use to him dead. We need to get you out of here."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere without my brother" Octavia repeated.  
  
"Fine" Clarke said. She had an idea. "But at least let us hide you, for now. Just until things calm down enough for us to think of a plan, okay?"  
  
"Octavia come on..." Raven said, pleading.  
  
"Okay" Octavia finally said.  
  
"We can hide her in our room" Jasper said, nodding at Monty.   
  
"Take her there. Wait until the guards come by so that they know it's your room. And then lock the door and meet us in the throne room" Clarke said.  
  
She wasn't sure how she was even standing upright. She felt tired, and weak. And her head had begun to throb where Byrne had hit her. And she couldn't stop thinking about what could be happening to Bellamy, to the people in this castle at this very moment.  
  
Monty and Jasper nodded and led Octavia away. Clarke, Harper, Raven and Miller made their way back to the throne room.  
  
On the way there, they encountered the guards again and stated their identities. Clarke couldn't even look at the residents of the castle, roughly being ushered out of their own home.

She knew there was no point in trying to fight it. And they already thought she was too close to the grounders, so she thought it best not to acknowledge any of them. It hurt, but she felt like it'd do them more harm than good.  
  
Her resolve almost broke when she saw the two women from the kitchen leading the six sleepy orphans from their rooms to the corridor that led out of the castle. She thought about how cold it was.  
  
Clarke had to remind herself that the village below them would offer food, shelter. That was enough, for now. But right then and there, she silently vowed to get them all home. She'd die before she let their home be taken from them for good.  
  
They waited in the throne room for hours. The sun had started to rise before all the people from the Ark made their way back to the throne room. Abby, Kane and Pike along with a few of the others asked the remaning hundered what had happened to them. Clarke didn't feel like talking, so she let the others repeat the story over and over.  
  
 _We were surrounded. Trikru took us. They brought us here. Bellamy let us stay. No, we weren't tortured. No, he didn't kill anyone. Yes, we're okay._  
  
A few things stood out to her though.  
  
Like the fact that Miller had been reunited with his father. A man who actually apologized to the group about what had happened. About how this was all a big _misunderstanding._  
  
Monty and his mother reunited as well. But she was Pike's second in command. And she wasn't sorry. Not at all.

Clarke noticed that Monty avoided his mother's gaze the entire time, like he was ashamed of his mothers actions.   
  
Abby tried to explain things to Clarke. About how she and Kane fought Pike's rise to power. But that they had been vastly outnumbered by the people from Farm station who referred to themselves as 'Grounder Killers'.  
  
She told them about what they had heard; about how the hundred had been captured by an evil king and taken to his land.   
  
"Obviously, we were very wrong. But...no one convinced us other wise until we found you" Abby said.  
  
She didn't say it, but Clarke knew. She'd pieced the puzzle together.  
  
The Sky People had heard about this place, they'd met Bellamy's guards all those months ago. But they chose not to believe. It was easier for them to understand, to accept the story that the 49 remaining delinquents from the Dropship had been taken by an evil grounder. They chose to believe that story.  
  
And when they got here, the first delinquent they'd encountered didn't bother to tell them any different.   
  
Clarke knew who that delinquent was.  
  
Finn.

She wasn't sure what had happened to Dax. He wasn't here. Maybe he died on the journey through the Dead Zone.  
  
But Finn, Finn must've understood what had been going on.  
  
And he must have been spying on them. He knew that Bellamy had sent another party. All he had to do was wait.  
  
And he must have been watching for the ship. Once he saw it, he must have come to the castle to steal the weapons and meet up with the remaining Sky People.  
  
And he must have let them all believe that they really were being held captive here. He brought them here, told them about all the entrances so that they could take out all the guards at the same time. He led them to the throne room.  
  
Abby didn't say it. But Clarke knew.  
  
Finn had the decency to look away, to look ashamed when he noticed Clarke and the others staring daggers at him for being such a monster.  
  
 _Not today...not tomorrow...but one day. One day, you will pay for this_ Clarke silently vowed. She'd make sure of it.  
  
"We've secured the castle" Pike said from the front of the room. Half of the people in the room cheered. "Let's rest up. If you aren't on guard, I suggest you get some sleep. We have a long few days ahead of us. We need to prepare the castle. As soon as everything is ready, we'll send the ship back for the remainder of our people."  
  
Clarke tried to understand. Tried to believe that at least half of the people here were good. That some of them didn't agree to this. That some of them just wanted to find their kids.

She could see a few of them scattered throughout the room, happily holding their loved ones. A few were crying, realizing this was all for nothing. That their child or friend or lover wasn't here. That they were already gone.  
  
As for the other half...  
  
Clarke had no words. She couldn't believe that this many people were okay with this. That they'd chosen Pike as their chancellor and agreed to this.   
  
Maybe the other grounders had been right all along. They were invaders. Intruders. Monsters.  
  
 _What good did it do? Trying to see the good in people?_ Clarke thought. Bellamy had said that it was one of the things he liked about her. But in the end, it only left her disappointed and full of regret. She tried to see the good in Finn, the good in her people.   
  
That's how they ended up in this situation.

* * *

 

She knew there was no way that she'd be able to fall asleep, despite how worn out she was, without knowing that Bellamy was okay first.  
  
She made her way down to the dungeon, a medical kit from the Ark in her hands.  
  
"Let me through" she said to the guard standing in front of the door.  
  
"I don't think so" he said, shrugging.  
  
"That man down there, that's the king. And Pike wants him alive. The people here will never accept Pike, accept _us_ if he dies. He was shot. I need to take a look at his wound" Clarke said.  
  
"Do you have an order for that?" the guard asked, now sounding a little unsure.  
  
"I don't have a piece of fucking paper with the order on it, if that's what you want. I was told to tend to the grounder king. So unless you really want me to go wake Pike up for a piece of goddamn paper, I suggest you move aside."  
  
"Fine" the guard huffed. "Don't take too long."  
  
"I won't" Clarke said.  
  
She made her way down the stairs that led to the dungeon, a little afraid of what she might find.  
  
Bellamy was the only person there, slumped against a corner.  
  
She ran to his side.

"Bellamy" she said, taking his face into her hands.   
  
"Hey" he said, looking more worn down than she'd ever seen him.  
  
"I need to take a look at your wound" she said, pushing her personal feelings aside. He was a patient and he needed to be treated.   
  
"Where's Octavia?"  
  
"She's safe. She wouldn't leave, so we hid her in Jasper and Monty's room."  
  
"You need to get her out of here."  
  
"I tried, Bellamy. But she won't leave without you. She's safe, for now. We'll figure something out once things calm down a little, okay?"  
  
"Okay. But get her out of here as soon as you can. Tell her she can't go to the village below us. That's too close. She has to go further."  
  
"I will."  
  
"And the rest of my people? What happened?"  
  
Clarke looked away.  
  
"Clarke?"  
  
"Pike made all of them leave. He-he kicked them all out. I don't know where they're going to go but...but they're alive."

"That's good" he said, nodding. But the look on his face told her that it was anything but.  
  
"Take your shirt off" she said. She was pretty sure that the guard wouldn't let her stay long. And if she tried to fight it, he might not let her through next time.  
  
"Funny, I always imagined you saying that under different circumstances" he said, kind of smiling at her. How he could joke at a time like this was beyond her. She shook her head.  
  
She opened her kit and made sure to keep everything sterile.   
  
"This is gonna hurt" she said, cursing herself for not thinking about bringing him something for the pain.  
  
She took out a small pair of medical scissors and widened the wound until she could see the small bullet embedded into his flesh.  
  
He winced as the scissors gripped the bullet, pulling it out. She dabbed a few bandages with antiseptic and cleaned the wound.  
  
Finally, she took out a suture kit and sowed the wound up. She put a little more antiseptic on it for good measure before covering it with a sterile bandage.  
  
"Make sure you keep this clean" she said, helping him put his shirt back on. She could tell that he was in pain, despite the fact that he was trying to keep himself composed.  
  
"Will do" he said.   
  
"Bellamy, I swear I will get you out of this" she said. She didn't know how. They didn't have a plan yet. Hell, she had no idea exactly _how_ she'd fix this.   
  
"I believe you" he said.

He was still sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. She'd stood in front of him on her knees, so she leaned forward to hug him, careful not to put too much pressure on his left shoulder.  
  
He hugged her back. He nuzzled his head into the crook between her neck and her shoulder, and in that moment, she could almost feel how scared he was. And she knew it wasn't fear for himself, but for the others. For Octavia. For his people.   
  
As much as she wanted to stay there in that dungeon, holding him and taming all of his fears, she knew she had to leave.   
  
"I have to go" she said, pulling away from him. "But I'll be back later. Try and get some rest."  
  
"Alright" he said, nodding.  
  
She got up to leave, knowing that the longer she stayed, the harder it'd be to go.  
  
But she stopped at the bottom of the stairwell.   
  
"Why did you say that you wished you would have met me sooner?"  
  
He stayed quiet for a few moments.  
  
"Ask me again when all of this is over" he said.  
  
She gave him a nod before turning and finally leaving the dungeon.  
  
"Thanks" she said to the guard. She didn't actually want to. But she had to stay on good terms with this man if she wanted the opportunity to see Bellamy again.

He remained impassive.  
  
She half-walked, half-dragged herself to her room. She'd told Pike to tell the guards that it was hers. She didn't really feel like being there without Bellamy, it was their home. But she couldn't bear the thought of some guard, or worse Pike himself, taking their room and calling it his own. It was their home. It was where everything began.  
  
Exhaustion and despair made it hard to go all the way to their bedroom, so she laid down on the small couch they kept in their front room. Her mind wouldn't stop racing. Mostly with thoughts of Bellamy and how to save him and his people.   
  
Revenge was the only other thing on her mind.  
  
Somehow, she fell asleep.

* * *

 

She felt like only a few minutes had passed when she heard a knock on her door, but the sunlight streaming into the room through the balcony doors told her that it'd been a few hours, at least.  
  
She got up to answer the door, her head throbbing.  
  
Her mother stood on the other side of the door. Clarke let her in without a word.  
  
Abby looked around the room, like Clarke had done that first night. Clarke was sure that Abby was surprised. She'd probably expected something more sinister than what she'd found.  
  
"Nice room" she said, sitting down on the couch.  
  
Clarke nodded and sat down beside her mother.  
  
"So, you're the queen?" Abby asked, her voice full of skepticism.  
  
"Yeah mom. I have a crown and everything" Clarke said, already pissed off.  
  
"Clarke, why are you acting this way? We didn't know-"  
  
"Yes you did. I know that Bellamy sent his men to find you. And don't try to pretend like they didn't reach you. I know they did. But you chose not to believe. You-"  
  
"Clarke, we couldn't believe them! When we heard from one of the Trikru grounders that you'd been taken, he told us about where you'd been taken to. So how could we possibly believe them? After all we heard?"  
  
"But Bellamy told them who you were! Did you honestly believe that I would have given them your name, your location if I wasn't safe?"

"We-we thought they might have been torturing you. Why else would-"  
  
"Is that what you think? That I would have told them about you? Even if I was being tortured?"  
  
"Clarke-"  
  
"No, mom!" Clarke yelled. She stood up. She couldn't sit there anymore. She had been tired when she woke up, but now she was full of anger and energy, thinking about what had happened the night before.  
  
"We were safe here. Happy. And you-you ruined everything!" she yelled.  
  
"We didn't want to! A lot of us don't agree with Pike and his group! But there are a lot more of them. I had to find you. I did what I did, I agreed to this so that I could find you!" Abby said. Her voice was pleading, desperate.  
  
"What about the rest of those people? They had families, mom! They were just trying to protect us, protect this place and you killed them!"  
  
"No I didn't, Clarke. I've never killed one of them."  
  
"But you could have done something, you could have-"  
  
"What?" Abby said, standing now. "What could I have possibly done, Clarke? I told you. Pike has support. The people from Farm station, they had more weapons. More resources. I'm sorry about your friends. I really am. But I did what I did so that I could find you. Can't you understand that?"

Despite her anger, a part of Clarke _could_ understand. She'd done everything in her power to find her mother, her people. She killed to save her friends. She herself was no better than Pike.  
  
"You-you have to leave, mom. All of you" Clarke said. It hurt to say. But they didn't belong there. Clarke had thought they did. But what they'd done to get there and what they'd done since they'd gotten there proved that they didn't. Bellamy had worked to turn this place into a safehaven; a place where people could live in peace. And the Sky People had destroyed that in less than a day.  
  
"You know that isn't going to happen, honey. I'm sorry. I truly am. But Pike will never leave this place. We've been through hell, fighting with the Trikru and the Ice Nation. He won't give this place up. He won't go back to the Commander's lands now that he knows this place is out of her reach."  
  
"We'll see about that" Clarke said, turning to go.  
  
"Where are you going?" Abby said, following her.  
  
"I have to find my friends. We need to figure out how to take the castle back."  
  
"Clarke" Abby said, grabbing her arm. "You'll get yourselves killed. You can't think like that. Pike is letting the grounders live. He only plans to stay on the castle grounds, so-"  
  
"Yeah right. What do you think will happen when he sends the ship back? When the rest of you make it here? This place isn't big enough for that. You know as well as I do that you aren't done taking from them. You'll take more. I won't let that happen."

"You can't think like that. I don't know what'll happen when they get here. But Pike won't tolerate this. You can't-"  
  
"Don't tell me what I can't do! You have no idea what I've been through! What I've done!" she yelled, yanking her arm away.  
  
Abby looked hurt. And despite the fact that she was angrier than she'd ever been in her entire life, the look on her mothers face forced her to calm down; to tame the anger that was building in her chest.  
  
"I'd like your help, the help of the others. You say that not all of you agree with Pike? Prove it. Help us overthrow him" Clarke said.  
  
"What about the rest of us?"  
  
"If you help us, if we can get Pike and his people out of here, Bellamy will let you stay. I'll tell him you helped."  
  
"And you really believe he'd do that? After what we did?" Abby asked.  
  
"He will."  
  
Abby was quiet for a few moments, thinking it over. Clarke turned to leave, she couldn't waste any more time.  
  
"Do you trust him?" Abby asked.  
  
Clarke turned to face her mother.  
  
"With my life."

"Okay" Abby said, nodding. "We'll help. But we need to keep this quiet. If Pike finds out..."  
  
"He won't. Ask around. Tell those who you deem trustworthy. I'll tell mine. I'll come find you later. We can discuss our next move then" Clarke said.  
  
She turned to go again, but Abby stopped her and pulled her in for a hug.  
  
As much as Clarke had missed her mother, she pulled away. They didn't have time to waste.

* * *

 

She found Raven and Miller in the throne room. Together, the three of them made their way to Monty and Jasper's room in silence.  
  
While she had talked to her mother out in the open, she realized that if this really was going to work, they'd have to be more discreet. There were ears everywhere.  
  
Harper let them in.  
  
Inside, a very pissed Octavia was pacing around the room.  
  
"Finally" she said, once the others came in and locked the door behind them. "Have you seen Bellamy? Is he okay?"  
  
"Yeah" Clarke said, "He's okay. For now."   
  
She was still a little hurt about what Octavia had said, but she pushed those feelings aside. They had more important things to worry about.  
  
Clarke filled them in on the conversation she'd had with her mother, about how not all of them agreed with Pike and his crew.  
  
Octavia was a little skeptical, and Clarke couldn't really blame the girl. They were all strangers to her. But Abby was willing to help. Clarke knew it. And she figured that Miller's father was among the group that would help.  
  
As for Monty's mother...  
  
"Don't worry" Monty said, "I know we can't trust her."  
  
"Monty..." Jasper said, placing a hand on the other boys shoulder.

"It's fine" Monty said. But Clarke knew that it wasn't. She knew that they were placing him in a situation in which he'd either have to side with them or his own mother. But she knew which side he'd pick.  
  
"So what's the plan?" Harper asked.  
  
"For right now, this stays in this room" Clarke began, "Once I talk to my mother, once we figure out how much help we have, who we can trust, we'll start forming a plan. For now, we-we have to act like we're okay with this."  
  
She risked a glance at Octavia.   
  
"It's fine" Octavia said, "I know it's what you need to do. So don't worry about hurting my feelings or whatever. Do what you need to do."  
  
Clarke nodded.  
  
"Act normal" she said, "If they start suspecting that we're not with them...they'll stop us even before we get the chance to do anything. So go to Pike. Ask for work, ask him what he wants you to do. Act like your okay with it."   
  
The thought made her sick to her stomach. It made her angry. But she knew it was the only way to avoid getting caught.  
  
Eventually, they parted ways. They'd start going to Pike in small groups to avoid suspicion. Clarke decided that she'd be the first to go.

She looked around for Pike, asking the guards about his whereabouts. One of them pointed her in the right direction, and soon she stood outside the doors to one of the rooms in the castle that she wasn't familiar with.  
  
A guard let her in and inside, she found Pike, Kane, Monty's mother and a few other guards she recognized but couldn't name hunched over what looked to be some sort of map.  
  
"Ms. Griffin," Pike began, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"  
  
"I just came to talk. I know that you're assigning work. I came to tell you mine" she said.  
  
"What?" Pike asked, confused by the change in her attitude.  
  
"I'm a healer here. I'd like to keep that position. My mother and her associate, Jackson, can work with me. Is that okay with you?"  
  
She noticed Kane eyeing her suspiciously. She wasn't sure if he was someone they could trust. She hadn't asked her mother yet. But he stood up for Bellamy. That had to mean something.  
  
"Well, yeah. That sounds reasonable to me. We need good healers" Pike said, nodding in agreement. "I've got to admit I'm a little surprised. After your little outburst last night, I wasn't sure if you'd be with us."  
  
"I understand" Clarke said, "But you were right. You are my people. We don't fit in with the grounders. Truthfully, we never did. If there's anything you need from me, intel or knowledge, just ask. I learned a lot about this place, being the queen and all."

Pike nodded, looking pleased.   
  
_You fucking idiot._   
  
"Thank you, Clarke. I appreciate that. Please come by a little later. I do have a few questions."  
  
"Alright" Clarke said. "I'll stop by after dinner."  
  
 _What's the saying? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?_

* * *

 

After meeting with Pike, Clarke sought her mother out. She found her in the healers quarters, along with Jackson.  
  
Abby closed the door behind Clarke once she entered.  
  
"I've asked around" Abby began.  
  
Clarke didn't bother asking about Jackson, about if he knew what was going on. About which side he was on. Clarke had spent enough time with him to know that he was a good person. She was sure that he'd help.  
  
"Pike has a lot more support. But there are enough of us to at least stand a chance. Kane and I will oversee our groups."  
  
"Kane?" Clarke asked. Was he really on their side? But he was with Pike just a few minutes ago?  
  
"Yeah" Abby said, "You can trust him."  
  
Jackson nodded in agreement.  
  
Clarke remembered how much her mother had hated Kane on the Ark. Whatever had happened on the ground must have changed him. There was no way he was still the same person, if her mother was willing to work with him, to trust him.

"Is there any sort of plan?" Jackson asked.

"Not yet" Clarke said, "First we need to figure out who's on our side. But it's vital that we pretend to agree with Pike. We have to convince him that we're on the same side. We're taking turns going to him, asking for work. I just spoke to him and I'm pretty sure I have him convinced that I'm with him. I told him I'd give him intel on the grounders, on this place."  
  
She looked away. Despite the fact that she knew she was just _pretending,_ that she'd never actually give him anything useful, it made her feel like a traitor.  
  
"Good" Abby said, "I've told my group the same thing. And we have to be careful about our meetings. We can't get together in large groups, or out in the open. We have to figure out how to communicate without them finding out."  
  
Clarke nodded in agreement.  
  
"Kane has convinced Pike to let Bellamy live. I don't know what he plans to do with him. I don't think he'll let him go like the others. Pike is too worried about him getting help from his people. So he'll keep him here, for now. Probably to keep the other grounders from starting a riot. Probably to get some information out of him. But for right now, he's safe" Abby said, lacing her fingers through Clarke's and giving her hand a little squeeze.  
  
Clarke looked at her mother.  
  
It was what she needed to hear, even before she herself knew it.   
  
She pulled her mother in for a hug.  
  
"Thank you" Clarke said. She wasn't sure if her mother understood how much she actually cared for Bellamy. But she knew enough to make sure that he'd be safe, to tell Kane about it. It was more than she could hope for.  
  
She pulled away.  
  
"You can trust Monty, Miller, Jasper, Raven and Harper. John Murphy, too. They're all in on the plan. I'll tell them to report to you and Kane. See if Kane can get them jobs that will give the access to some of the guns. We're gonna need them when we decide to take Pike down. Monty's from Farm station. His mother is Pike's second in command. See if Kane can convicne Pike to let Monty work with his mother. That way, we'll have some idea of he plans to do before he does it" Clarke said.  
  
Her mother nodded. But she had a strange look in her eyes.  
  
"What is it?" Clarke asked.  
  
"Nothing. Just that-that I'm really proud of you, Clarke. I can see why they chose you as their leader" Abby said, smiling a little. "I'm sorry this is happening. I'm sorry about all of it. What happened here. Sending you to the ground. You should-you should be living your life. Enjoying it. All of you. You're kids. You shouldn't have to live like this."  
  
"We stopped being kids the day we were sent to the ground."

* * *

 

She went to the dungeon again, after talking to her mother.  
  
"Back so soon" the guard said.  
  
"I won't have time to check on him later. I have a meeting with Pike" Clarke said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Well then, I guess you better get going" the guard said, stepping aside to let her through.  
  
She realized that she had to keep her voice down, no matter what she said to Bellamy. She was sure that the guard would try to listen. She could only hope that he hadn't overheard their first conversation.  
  
She made her way down the stairs. He was still in the same position she'd left him in, but he was asleep.  
  
It felt a little cruel to wake him. He must have been tired. And she was sure that he was uncomfortable. But she knew they didn't have much time.  
  
"Bellamy" she said, placing a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him awake. "Bellamy, wake up."  
  
"Hey" he said, a little lazily.   
  
"I'm sorry to wake you, but I need to check your wound. And we don't have much time."  
  
"Okay" he said, rubbing at his eyes.

He sat up straight and took his shirt off. The bandage was still intact. And he hadn't bled through it so Clarke took that as a good sign. She took the old bandage off, cleaned some of the dried blood around the stitches and put some more antiseptic ointment on it before patching it back up with a new bandage.  
  
"Thank you" he said, putting his shirt back on.  
  
"Have they brought you food? Water?"  
  
"Yeah. A man came down to talk to me a few hours ago. He said his name was Kane. Do you know him?"  
  
"Yes" Clarke said, "I do. And you can trust him. He's on our side."  
  
"Our side?"  
  
Clarke told him about what was going on, about her mother and the group that was willing to help. About how Octavia was safe.   
  
She wished that she had more to tell him. She wished that they'd made some progress. But it had been less than a day since all of this happened. She would take what she could get.  
  
"I know it's not much" she said after telling him what had happened. "But we're working on it."  
  
He nodded. "It's enough for now. But what can I do? I need to get out of here."  
  
"No, Bellamy. For right now, you need to stay here. If you try to escape, you'll only cause more trouble. We need to let them believe that we're on the same side."

"Clarke, I can't just sit here. My people need me."  
  
"You're right. They do need you. Alive. So getting yourself killed is not going to help them, okay?"  
  
"But-"  
  
"No but's, Bellamy. I'm serious. There isn't anything you can do right now. Wait until we do our part. I promise to keep you updated. And we will need you. But for right now, the best thing for them, for us, is keeping you alive. And that'll only happen if you stay here. If you don't resist."  
  
He sighed. She knew it wasn't what he was used to. He was a leader.   
  
"I know this is hard for you" she said, sitting down next to him. "But you've done so much for us. Let us do this for you."  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Promise me. Promise me that you won't do anything reckless?"  
  
"I promise, Clarke. Do you need me to swear on it? Or is my word enough?" he asked, smirking a little.  
  
 _God_ , she thought, _I've missed that fucking smirk._  
  
"Your word is enough" she said, placing her hand in his.  
  
The sat in silence for a few minutes.

Again, she felt that feeling. Like this was her place, right beside him. That no matter what happened, they'd have one another. That they'd get through this, together.  
  
"Bellamy, I-"  
  
"Remember that cottage?" he suddenly asked.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Maybe we should have stayed there. Grown old. Had a kid or two?" he said, smiling a little.  
  
"Wasn't that one of your conditions?"  
  
"Actually," he said, "If I remember correctly, I said that it was a preference. Not a condition."  
  
She smiled back at him.   
  
Despite what was going on, despite the terrible situation they were in with Pike taking the castle and Bellamy being held prisoner, something like peace washed through Clarke. Peace and light.   
  
And maybe something she could only describe as _hope_.   
  
"We'll go back" she said, putting her head on his shoulder.  
  
They stayed like that for a few minutes but eventually she knew it was time for her to go. She stood up.

"Everything will be okay, Bellamy."  
  
"You believe that?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"Okay then. I do too. I believe you, Clarke. I believe _in_ you."

* * *

 

Clarke decided to go to her room so that she could have some privacy. So that she could think about her next move.   
  
On the way there, she realized she hadn't eaten anything all day. She decided to stop by the kitchen first to grab a snack before going to her room.  
  
When she saw Byrne in the kitchen, she had to remind herself that she couldn't throttle the woman then and there. That she had to be patient.  
  
So she swallowed her pride and apologized to the woman.  
  
"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking" she said, "They're grounders. And they were awful to us at first. I was lucky that...that he seemed to like me. It must have been some sort of Stockholm Syndrome or something."  
  
"Funny" Byrne said, "You really had me convinced last night."   
  
Clarke knew she didn't buy it.   
  
"Yeah well, he made us all believe that you were dead. So I was a little shocked. And the concussion you gave me didn't really help, either."  
  
"Sorry about that" Byrne said, not sounding sorry at all.  
  
"It's fine. I'm just glad that my mother and the rest of you are okay. That you found us."  
  
Byrne nodded but continued to watch Clarke as she moved around the kitchen. She grabbed an apple and a piece of jerky, pretending like she was looking for something else when really she wanted to grab one of the kitchen knives.

"Hey" Clarke said, "Do you know where the bread is? I don't see it anywhere."  
  
It worked.  
  
Byrne turned to glace around the kitchen and when her back was to Clarke, she grabbed the knife she'd been eyeing and stuck it up her shirt sleeve.  
  
"There it is" Byrne said, pointing to Clarke's left.   
  
Clarke turned and grabbed a piece. After thanking the woman, she finally made her way back to her room.  
  
Inside, she took the knife out of her shirtsleeve and placed it in her boot. She sat back down on the couch and ate quickly.   
  
She got up to find a piece of paper so that she could jot down a list of things they needed to do before Pike sent the ship back for the others. If they were going to overthrow him, it had to be before he brought more reinforcements here.  
  
She found a few pieces of parchment paper on Bellamy's desk. She grabbed a pencil and went back to the couch. As soon as sat back down, there was a knock on her door.  
  
Finn was the last person she expected to be standing on the other side.  
  
And yet, there he stood.  
  
"Can we talk?" 

A few things ran through her mind at the same time.   
  
The first thing was that she should try and pretend with him too, but there was no doubt in her mind that he wouldn't buy it, not like the others. He knew she cared for Bellamy.  
  
The second thing she thought about was how long it'd take her to reach for the knife in her boot and stick it right through his jugular. _He'd bleed out in minutes._ She'd get the knife there before he could even put his hands up.  
  
She stepped aside to let him in. She still hadn't made her mind up yet.  
  
He watched her a little wearily, but he came inside.  
  
"I know you're mad at me" he said.  
  
 _Really? Mad? I'll show just how fucking 'mad' I am._  
  
"I'm not mad" she said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm not mad. You brought my mother to me. I'm not mad."  
  
"But-"  
  
"But nothing, Finn. There's no point in talking about why you didn't tell them that we were okay. That we weren't being held prisoner. Why you let all those innocent people get killed."  
  
"Clarke, I did it because-"

"Because you love me?" she said, "Hah!" she let out a bitter laugh, "You don't know anything about love, Finn. You're too selfish to know what love is. And bitter. I mean, that's why you did it, right?"  
  
"No, Clarke, I'm not-"  
  
"Yes you are. You're a fucking coward. And you were being selfish and bitter. You lost me to Bellamy. You lost Raven to Octavia. That must've drove you mad, right? That you lost both of us to the Blakes?"  
  
"I don't care about-"  
  
"Yes you do" she said, cutting him off again. No, she wouldn't kill him. And she knew she'd never convince him that she was on their side. There was no point in trying. But she could hit him where it hurt. She could make him feel as awful as she felt.   
  
"That's why you did it. You wanted us to lose them, to lose this place. Maybe you thought we'd even be on your side?"  
  
"Clarke, please just let me explain-"  
  
"No, Finn. I don't care what you say. I don't care what you do. You're nothing but a petty, stupid coward. You're not a good person. You aren't even a man. You're just some jealous idiot that got a lot of innocent people killed. And for what? I will never be with you. Raven will never be with you. You're gonna die alone, like the selfish little coward that you are."  
  
He looked hurt. Very, very hurt.  
  
It made Clarke feel better.  
  
And maybe that made her a bad person. But she didn't care. She'd been so angry, so upset for the past 24 hours that the satisfaction running through her veins pushed all thoughts of human decency from her mind.  
  
"I wore that nightgown for him, you know?" she said. She wasn't even sure what she was trying to do anymore. All she knew was that his pain was easing some of hers. "You remember? That pretty black one? Yeah. I wore it. And he fucked me in it. Right through those doors there" she said, pointing towards their bedroom. "And he was so good. So much better than you were. I saw stars, you know? I really did."  
  
Finn shook his head in disgust. He didn't have anything to say after that.  
  
He left and she let him. Knowing that he'd be thinking about what she said for the rest of the day.   
  
It made her happier than it should have.

* * *

 

That night, she had her first meeting with Pike.  
  
He asked about the other villages. About the people. About everything, really. And she told him enough to be convincing, but not really anything that would be of use to him. And she neglected to mention the fact that a few of the other villages were much bigger than the one below them. She wanted him to underestimate them. Their numbers had to be a secret.  
  
He seemed genuinely pleased by her cooperation.   
  
"What happened? When you landed, I mean?" she asked, a little reluctantly. From what she could remember about him, he never seemed like this type of person. He'd been a good teacher. He'd been kind. What had happened to him? What had turned him into this?  
  
He told her about their landing, about how the Ice Nation killed the children that had come with them. About how they killed Monty's father. About their continuing struggles, trying to survive in their territory.  
  
Clarke didn't know much about the Ice Nation. But from what she learned here, she knew that they had a reputation as being the most ruthless grounder clan.   
  
That didn't make Pike's actions justifiable. But in some weird way, she could understand. He'd been exposed to those types of grounders, and only those. He didn't know about the ones that resided in this place, about how they saw the Sky People as equals and not adversaries.  
  
Well, they didn't before.  
  
Now, she wasn't so sure.

Either way, it didn't change the fact that Pike and his group had to leave. They couldn't take this place. If they had come here like the 49 from the Dropship, maybe things could have been different.  
  
 _No,_ Clarke thought. _They would have been different._  
  
She was sure that Bellamy would have taken them in, despite what they'd done. But they didn't give him the opportunity to do so.  
  
The whole situation was one big mess.   
  
But Clarke knew she had to find her way out of it.  
  
The next morning, she joined the others in the throne room. Pike had them all assigned to different positions. Lucikly, he'd taken Kane's advice and let Monty work with his mother. Now they'd have access to Pike's plans. They would know what he planned to do before he did it.  
  
Raven, Harper and Miller were all assigned to the guard. They were stationed at different positions, but they each now had access to a gun. Murphy had asked for a position in the weapons room and Pike agreed. But he would be joined by two of Pike's men, so Clarke wasn't sure how they would sneak anything out of there with the two of them being in the room at all times.  
  
"Hey, it's not ideal" Raven said after Murphy had told them. "But it's something."  
  
 _It's not enough_ , Clarke thought. The others were given various other jobs, but no positions that Clarke thought would be helpful in their plan to overthrow Pike.

"I hope you're all rested" Pike said from the front of the room. He had taken Bellamy's spot at the front table. Watching him and his council sit at the place where she, Bellamy and Octavia had sat made Clarke feel a little sick.   
  
But she kept her anger at bay. She couldn't let her emotions come through; she had a part to play. So with that in mind, she turned and gave Pike her attention.  
  
"The land here is better than we could have expected. There is plenty of space to farm, fresh water and livestock. For right now, we will remain on the castle grounds and the castle grounds only. That is an order. Do not go past the limits. I will be sending a party to search the woods and make sure that no grounders have gotten too close for comfort."  
  
"What about when the others come?" someone in the crowd asked, "This place isn't big enough to hold all of us?"  
  
"When the others come, we will expand" Pike said.   
  
Clarke looked over at her mother, sitting on the other side of the room.   
  
_I told you_ , Clarke thought.  
  
"Expand where?" another person asked.  
  
"As of now, the plan is to stay on the castle grounds. When the others join us..." Pike looked around, "We will clear the village below us and make homes there."  
  
"What about the grounders?" another voice said.

Clarke looked for the source, hoping it wasn't one of her own. She'd given them clear orders. They had to be convincing.  
  
But the source was an older woman about Abby's age. Clarke didn't recognize her.  
  
"They will evacuate the premises" Monty's mother said from beside Pike, "If they know what's good for them."  
  
Clarke turned to look at Monty. He caught her gaze for a second before looking away, like he was ashamed.  
  
"When will the ship go back?" Clarke asked.  
  
"We need to assemble a team. The rest will be waiting, and since there are quite a few of them I can't send many people. We need all the space we can get to bring the others. I hope one trip back will suffice. So with that in mind, we need about five people to go. Any volunteers?"  
  
About ten hands went up. A few people looked at Clarke, silently asking if they should raise their hands. She discreetly shook her head _no_. They all needed to stay if their plan against Pike would work. They had to attack before the group left.  
  
Pike chose five people.  
  
"When do we leave?" one of the men he picked asked.  
  
"Tomorrow morning."

Clarke's stomach dropped. _What? Tomorrow morning?_  
  
Clarke looked towards her mother. But she was looking at Kane. The look on their faces mirrored Clarke's. _Tomorrow?_ That was way too soon. Clarke had thought that it would be at least a few days. But tomorrow? They hadn't even thought of a plan yet.  
  
Eventually, the room cleared. But before everyone could part ways, Clarke told her friends to meet her in her quarters in fifteen minutes. She made her way towards her mother and quietly told her about the meeting.  
  
Afterwards, she walked to her room alone. Her mind racing.   
  
She sat down on the couch in her front room and put her head in her hands. _Too fast._ This was all happening way, way too fast.  
  
By the time she heard the first knock on her door, she still hadn't come up with a solid idea, any sort of plan. She didn't know how they would stop the group from leaving tomorrow morning.  
  
Raven was the first person there. They waited in silence for the others.  
  
Miller, Murphy, Kane and Abby eventually joined. Kane let them know that Monty couldn't come. Jasper and Harper wouldn't be joining, either. They couldn't get out of whatever they had to do.  
  
"Tomorrow?" Murphy asked. "That's way too soon. I mean, we don't really even know who's on our side yet?"  
  
"I know" Clarke said. "Does anyone have an idea?"

No one spoke up.  
  
"Look, we don't need to come up with something to stop him. Just a delay. Just something to give us more time to come up with a better plan" she said.  
  
Still, no one spoke up.  
  
They all looked around at one another. Clarke felt desperate. Even she couldn't come up with anything.  
  
"Maybe we could do something to the ship?" Miller said.  
  
"What do you have in mind?" Kane asked.  
  
"I mean, they plan to take the closest one, right? The one in the east? What if we could get there and...I don't know? Let it sail off?"  
  
"But that would mean losing it" Murphy said.  
  
"Losing a ship is better than them coming here, right?" Miller asked, looking around.  
  
"That won't work" Kane said. "Pike left two men to guard it. Even if we could get away long enough to get to the ship without Pike noticing, the guards there would stop us."  
  
Clarke put her head in her hands again.   
  
"Okay, obviously we aren't getting anywhere. So how about we just...we take the day to brainstorm. We'll meet back here tonight after dinner. See if anyone has any good ideas" Kane said.

Everyone nodded in agreement and they parted ways once again.  
  
Clarke knew she couldn't hide in her room forever. And her absence in the healers quarters would be noted eventually. So she made her way there, feeling more desperate than ever.  
  
She thought about what they could do for the rest of the day, not really paying attention to what she was doing; who she was treating.  
  
At lunch time, she finally got a chance to talk to Monty. Miller had filled him in on the plan, and Clarke had hoped that Monty had thought of something.  
  
"No, Clarke" he said, "I don't have anything. But-but they had a meeting. They're definitely leaving in the morning. Whatever we're going to do...we need to do it fast. They've already packed supplies. And Pike sent a group into the woods a few hours ago, in search of grounders."  
  
Clarke hoped that the people from the castle had made their way down to the village. She didn't want to think about what would happen if any of them stayed on the castle grounds.  
  
When she got back to the healers quarters, she wanted to talk to Abby. Maybe one of the others had a plausible idea? Some sort of plan?   
  
But the steady stream of people going in and out of the quarters made it virtually impossible for her to get a moment alone with her mother. A few minutes before dinner, Clarke looked at her mother, silently asking her if any progress had been made.  
  
Abby shook her head a little, telling her that _no, no._ There was no plan.  
  
Clarke took a moment to place the supplies she'd been using back on the shelves.

"Maybe someone else had an idea" Jackson whispered from beside her. But Clarke felt like he was only saying it for her own good, not because he actually believed one of the others had come up with anything.  
  
Clarke looked away. Her eyes landed on a little wooden box on the very top shelf.  
  
 _No._

_No, don't even think about it._  
  
When she first started working with the castles healer, he showed her everything in the room. The supplies. The plants and herbs they used for pain, for colds. Plants with antibiotic properties.   
  
The poisons.   
  
A liquid taken from the membranes of an infected animal that caused a hemorrhagic fever and made anyone that ingested it sick for days.  
  
 _No._   
  
She shook her head, a little disgusted with herself. There was no way she could do that. Not only was the virus spread by contact, by droplets, but even though it wasn't deadly it could be. Under the right circumstances.  
  
 _No._  
  
She had to remind herself that there were some lines even she couldn't cross.  
  
Since she knew she'd be meeting with the others after dinner, she decided to check on Bellamy before she went to the throne room for dinner. 

This time, the guard let her pass without a word.  
  
She found him pacing the room, looking nervous.   
  
_Well, at least he's on his feet. At least he's feeling better._  
  
"I feel like I'm going insane" he said before she got to the last step.  
  
"Bellamy, you've only been down here for two days" she said, walking towards him.  
  
"That's already too long. I'm not used to...to staying in one place. To having nothing to do. No one to take care of. It's driving me mad."  
  
"I know, and I'm working on it."  
  
He stopped pacing and leaned against one of the walls. She walked over and joined him, leaving a few inches between them.  
  
"There must be something I can do. I can't- I can't just sit here anymore."  
  
"I'm sorry but there's nothing you can do right now."  
  
"Clarke-"  
  
"No, Bellamy. I've told you. We need you alive. And we haven't even done our part yet."  
  
"But-"

"Just let it go already!" she yelled, "You're not in control here, Bellamy. And I know that you don't like that. That you aren't used to that. But you can't do anything right now! Why can't you just trust me on this?"  
  
"I do trust you, Clarke."  
  
"Then give me more time, okay? I told you I'd get you out of this."  
  
He sighed.   
  
"So, what's going on on the outside?" he asked after a few minutes.  
  
She wasn't sure if she should tell him about what was going on. It would only make him more nervous. But she thought about the conversation they'd had right before all of this happened. About trust. About being open and honest with one another.  
  
She told him.  
  
"Tomorrow? That's too soon" he said.  
  
"I know."  
  
"You have to stop them, Clarke. If- if more of them come here, we'll never take this place back. There are already too many of them here."  
  
"I know" she said again.  
  
He slid to the floor, bringing his knees up and putting his head in his hands. He looked as desperate as she felt.

"I'll think of something, Bellamy" she said, sitting down next to him. She placed a hand on his knee. It felt a little weird; she hadn't casually touched him in so long.   
  
"I feel like everything is falling apart" he said. "And there's nothing I can do to stop it. And it all started with me lying to you."  
  
"Bellamy...It'll be okay. And nothing is falling apart. We're-we're just going through a rough patch. But we will come out on the other side, okay?"  
  
He lifted his head and turned to look at her, studying her for a few minutes.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, feeling a little self conscious.  
  
"You're a good leader, Clarke. You're a good queen."  
  
"Oh" she said, "Well, thanks. But I have help, you know."  
  
He smiled at her and for a few moments, she forgot about the fact that they were running out of time.  
  
"I have to go" she said, rising to her feet.  
  
"Come back soon."  
  
He stood to walk to the stairwell with her.  
  
"I will."  
  
Before she could stop herself, she pulled him in for a hug. He was a little taken aback. His hands just hung at his sides for the first few moments, but then he wrapped them around her, lifting her up a little.

She placed her lips on the bit of exposed skin by the collar of his shirt, inhaling his scent.   
  
She knew what she had to do.

* * *

 

"Who all is leaving? Point them out to me" Clarke said, sitting down next to Monty.  
  
He looked around for them, and nodded in their directions one by one.  
  
"And him, in the blue shirt" he said, pointing out the last of the five. "Why?"  
  
"I have a plan. But I'm going to need help. Meet me on the bridge in five minutes."  
  
She made her way towards Raven, who was sitting on the other side of the room.   
  
"Bridge in five minutes. Wait until Monty leaves first" she whispered.   
  
Raven nodded in acknowledgment.  
  
Clarke walked to the bridge. She'd only told Raven and Monty. This had to be kept quiet. The others couldn't find out. Her mother couldn't find out. She knew what her mother would say. She knew that her mother might try to stop her. She couldn't let that happen.  
  
"Hey" Monty said, looking over his shoulder to make sure they were alone. "What's going on?"  
  
"I'll explain when Raven gets here" Clarke said. It was cold. Much colder than any other night. And the wind that was picking up from the east didn't really help. But at least it kept people indoors.   
  
Raven showed up a few minutes after Monty.  
  
"What is it?" she asked. She wrapped her arms around herself; trying to keep warm.  
  
"This has to stay between the three of us, okay? No one else can find out" Clarke said.

Monty and Raven exchanged a glance before nodding in agreement.  
  
"Do you trust me?" Clarke asked, looking at them individually.  
  
"Of course" Raven said.  
  
"You know we do, Clarke" Monty replied.  
  
"Okay" Clarke nodded. She reached in to her pocket and took out three small vials. She gave one to Raven. She gave one to Monty. And she kept the third for herself.  
  
"We have to give these to three of the five guards. Put it in their drink. Their food. I don't care how you do it. Just make sure they ingest it" she said.  
  
Raven and Monty studied the small vials in their hands.  
  
"Monty, you take the one in the blue shirt. Raven, you take the big bearded one. I'll get the third. Okay?"  
  
They looked up at the same time and nodded. After that, they turned to leave, making their way back to the throne room.  
  
 _They didn't even ask._  
  
 _That's how much they trust you._  
  
She felt an ache in her chest, right where her heart was. Affection for her friends, for how much they believed in her made her smile to herself.   
  
_How did I get so lucky?_

* * *

 

Back in the throne room, she studied the three remaining men that were supposed to leave in the morning, thinking about which one she should pick.  
  
Eventually, she settled on the biggest of the three. Hoping that his immune system was as strong as his body.  
  
She poured herself a glass of wine and made a show of drinking it; laughing too loudly and telling some madeup story. Her friends looked at her a little questionably, but eventually they joined in too. Mimicking her and pretending to be cheerful, pretending to be a lot drunker than they were.  
  
She excused herself to use the restroom, stumbling a little as she walked. When she was close enough to the man, she tripped over her own feet and landed right behind him, placing a hand on his back.  
  
"Ms. Griffin" he said, turning to help her off of the ground. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine!" she exclaimed, laughing a little. "Just a little drunk is all!"   
  
She grabbed the hand he extended and rose to her feet. She placed a hand on the table, right next to his cup, pretending that she was trying to steady herself. Her hand jerked a little, hitting the cup and tipping it forward, spilling his drink on the table.  
  
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" she said, quickly picking the cup up.  
  
"It's okay" he said, smiling at her a little.  
  
"Here, let me pour you another!"

"No, you don't have to Ms. Griffin. Really, it's no problem."  
  
"No no no. Let me. Please. You have to try the wine I just had. Hold on a second!" she exclaimed, taking the cup with her as she walked back to her spot.  
  
She filled the cup up halfway. Then she turned her back to the man, pretending like she was talking to Monty. He looked around, making sure no one was watching before giving her a little nod. She quickly took the vial from her pocket and emptied it's contents into the glass.  
  
She turned and walked back to the man, stumbling a little.  
  
"Here you go. Try it. It's so good" she said, flashing the man her brightest smile.  
  
"Th-thank you Ms. Griffin" he said, taking the cup from her hand.   
  
_It's Mrs. Blake, asshole._   
  
She stayed by his side, waiting for him to take a sip.  
  
He did.  
  
"Wow. That's good" he said, taking another sip.  
  
"Right?" she said. "Well, have a good night."  
  
"You too" he said. She could feel him watching her walk away.  
  
By the time she got to her quarters, the guilt had set in.

* * *

 

"Has anyone thought of anything?" Miller asked.  
  
They had all come back to Clarke's room that night. She knew they only had a few minutes.   
  
She had considered telling them, but she wasn't sure how they would react. If they'd be okay with what she had done.  
  
"Don't worry about it" she finally said.  
  
The others all turned to look at her.  
  
"What?" Kane said.  
  
"It's taken care of. At least, I think it is."  
  
"What does that mean?" Abby asked, "Clarke, what did you do?"  
  
"The less you know, the better" Clarke said.  
  
Everyone was quiet for a few minutes.  
  
"Clarke, what did you do?" Abby repeated.  
  
"I did what I had to do, that's all" Clarke said, not meeting her mothers gaze.  
  
"Clarke..."  
  
"I think it's time for you all to leave" she said. She got up to open the door.  
  
"Clarke, tell me. Tell me what you've done" Abby said, making no move to leave.

"Abby..." Kane began. "The others trust Clarke. The grounders do too. Maybe we should, as well?"  
  
Clarke looked up to find him studying her from afar.  
  
They left after that.  
  
"Did you do it?" Clarke asked, grabbing Raven's arm as she tried to leave.   
  
"Yeah" Raven said, "It's done."  
  
"And you?" Clarke asked, looking at Monty.  
  
He nodded.  
  
She nodded back and they left.  
  
As she got ready for bed, she thought about what she had just done. What she had made Raven and Monty do. The others would find out, eventually. She knew in her heart that she had crossed a line. A line she could never uncross.  
  
But it wasn't like this was the first time she'd done something terrible to save her friends.  
  
If the others, if her mother condemned her for it....well, she could live with that. But losing everything, losing this place and everything that came with it....  
  
She was grateful that the children hadn't come. That they stayed behind on the Commander's land, waiting until this place was secured before making the journey here. 

* * *

 

"Clarke! Clarke, honey, wake up" Abby said, shaking Clarke from her slumbers.  
  
It felt a little unreal, seeing her mother there in bed beside her.  
  
"M-mom? What is it? What's going on?" Clarke said, rubbing her eyes.  
  
"I need you in the healers quarters. Something's happened. Get dressed and meet me there" Abby said, crawling out of the bed and leaving the room.  
  
 _Shit._  
  
Clarke quickly got dressed and made her way to the healer's quarters. She couldn't have slept more than two, maybe three hours tops.  
  
Pike, along with the two guards that Clarke picked were waiting for her.  
  
"What is this?" she asked. But she knew why they were there. She knew what was going on.  
  
"Something's happened to these two" Abby said, pointing at the guards. "They've come down with fevers. And they're bleeding from every orifice. Eyes. Ears. Mouths."   
  
Clarke grabbed a rag and put it over her mouth before going to the two guards and examining them.  
  
"Do you know what this is?" Abby asked. Clarke felt like there was a double meaning to her question.  
  
Clarke backed away from the guards.  
  
"Yeah" she said, "I do."  
  
"What is it?" Pike asked, placing a rag over his own mouth.

"When we came here, a few of us got sick. Just like this. We started bleeding. It's some sort of virus. I guess the grounders have an immunity to it. Maybe because of the radiation? The healer told me that it was a old virus. From animals. Sometimes eating dairy products passes it. They're sick" she said, making the story up as she went.  
  
"Is there a cure?" Abby asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"What happened to you all? Did it pass?" Pike asked, looking at Clarke.  
  
"Yes but it's very, very easy to spread. We need to place them in a quarantine. Have they been around anyone?"  
  
"They ate dinner with all of us. They've been around us all" Pike said, looking a little worried.   
  
"We need to check the others. The virus should pass in a few days. But like I said....it's very catching. We need to ask about any symptoms" Clarke said.  
  
Pike nodded and left the room.  
  
Abby and Clarke stayed, helping the two guards. Clarke knew there wasn't anything they could do, not really. But she had to play her part.  
  
One of the guards started coughing, his sputum bloody. Abby helped him get on his side.  
  
Pike came back to let them know that he sent guards door to door, checking on all of the residents in the castle.

"You're gonna have to delay the trip. They can't travel like this. And since we don't know who all has been exposed, I don't think it'd be a very good idea to send anyone else. At least not until the virus passes. In those close quarters, they could spread it to everyone on the ship" Clarke said, looking at Pike.  
  
She knew her words were basically a confession to Abby. But that didn't matter. Her mothers approval was not very high on her priority list.  
  
"Okay" Pike said, nodding. "We'll wait until the virus passes. What should the rest of us do? I mean, how can we protect ourselves?"  
  
"We need to round up every symptomatic person. Put them in a quarantine until the fever goes down, until the bleeding stops. And the virus is spread through contact. Through droplets. So makes sure to tell the guards to be careful, to wear masks. The others, too" Clarke said.  
  
"Okay" Pike said, turning to leave again. "I'll send them all to the big room in the west end. That should be a good place for a quarantine. I'll leave a guard here so that if others stop by here first, they can send them there."  
  
Clarke nodded.  
  
She and Abby helped the two men get on their feet. They walked to the room Pike had picked out in silence.  
  
Once there, they waited for the others.  
  
"Did you do this?" Abby whispered, making sure that the guards were far enough away to not overhear their conversation.  
  
Clarke found it hard to look her mother in the eye.  
  
"Clarke" her mother said.  
  
"I did what I had to do" Clarke whispered back.  
  
The look on Abby's face told Clarke what she already knew; she definitely, definitely crossed a line.

* * *

 

About twenty more people showed up to the quarantine room, they're symptoms varying in severity.   
  
Clarke didn't really have time to worry about herself. All she could hope was that she was immune. And if she wasn't....well, she hoped it would pass quickly.  
  
She didn't get the opportunity to talk to her mother again. And she was secretly grateful for it. Abby hadn't even looked at her since she found out that Clarke was behind this.  
  
By the time that the sun rose, Clarke felt completely and totally drained. A few others had come, volunteering to help the sick so that Clarke, Abby and Jackson could rest.  
  
She stopped by the dungeon before going to her room.  
  
"Are you okay, Ms. Griffin?" the guard asked, "You look a little pale."  
  
"I'm fine. But I've been around the sick, so keep your distance" she said as he moved out of the way to let her through.  
  
"Well, whatever you have...I hope you feel better soon. Maybe you should give the grounder a kiss? Maybe he'll get the virus and die so that I can get an actual job."  
  
Clarke had to remind herself that she couldn't slap him.  
  
She made her way down the stairs, feeling a little lightheaded.  
  
 _Shit._  
  
She was definitely sick.

"Clarke? What are you doing here?" Bellamy asked as soon as she got down the stairs.   
  
"I came to check on you" she said, placing a hand on the wall to steady herself.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked, walking up to place a hand on her back.  
  
"Stay away from me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You-you need to stay away from me. I'm sick."  
  
"Clarke...what the hell is going on? I heard the guard? What was he talking about? What virus?"  
  
She closed her eyes, willing herself to stay upright. She couldn't pass out. There was still so much for her to do.  
  
"Clarke, your eyes" Bellamy said.  
  
Clarke felt a single tear sliding down her face. She brought her had up to wipe it off and opened her eyes.  
  
Her hand was bloody.  
  
"Clarke. What the fuck? Tell me you didn't-"

But she didn't hear the end of his sentence. Her knees buckled and she felt herself falling back. No longer strong enough to stay upright.  
  
She didn't hit the ground, like she knew she should have. Instead, she felt Bellamy's arms. One at her back and the other behind her knees as he caught her.  
  
"Shit. Clarke. Open you eyes" he said. His voice sounded panicked. Scared.  
  
It took all of her strength to open her eyes, to look at him.  
  
"We should have stayed at that cottage" she said.  
  
And then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END.
> 
> Just kidding!
> 
> I am aware that this was a very Clarke-centered chapter, but I really just wanted to focus on her growth in this fic. And yall know it's a slowburn. But we're getting there.
> 
> As a side note, my feelings about some of these characters gets a little complicated. I firmly believe in the shows main message ("There are no good guys"), so this fic plays with that. If yall actually wanna discuss characters with me, you can always talk to me on Tumblr! and-so-we-meet-again.tumblr.com
> 
> And I have to admit, the last scene was totally inspired by "We should have stayed in that cave, Jon Snow" for any of you GoT fans. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

When she woke up, she was in a makeshift hammock in the quarantine room.  
  
She looked around, unsure of the time, or the day.  
  
The sunlight streaming through the window in the room told her that it was midday, but the ache in her joints told her that more than a few hours had passed.  
  
When she passed out, it was morning time. Had she slept over a day?  
  
She tried to get out of the hammock.  
  
"Easy there" Murphy said, running over to help her out.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"A guard brought you here. Apparently you passed out in the dungeon."  
  
"Bellamy?"  
  
"He's fine. He carried you up the stairs but the guards wouldn't let him take you further than that. I heard it was quite the fight" he said.  
  
"Oh my god. What happened? Is-is he okay?"  
  
"Yeah, he's fine. I checked on him a few hours ago."

Relief washed over here. _So he hasn't caught the virus?_  
  
"Is he symptomatic at all?"  
  
"No, whatever the hell this is...looks like he's immune" Murphy said, raising an eyebrow. "Lucky him, huh?"  
  
"How long have I been asleep?"  
  
"The guards brought you here yesterday morning."  
  
So a whole day had passed.  
  
She noticed his bloody shirt. The dried blood on his face.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asked.  
  
"I caught the virus. I was here when they brought you in."  
  
"But your feeling better?"  
  
"Yeah, I woke up this morning. Whatever it is, it passes fast. Well, for some of us."  
  
"Is...is everyone else okay?"  
  
"Define 'everyone'?"

"Cut the shit Murphy!"

"Okay okay. Yes, our friends are fine. None of them caught it. All in all, it was about fifty of us."  
  
"Has...has anyone died?" she asked, afraid to hear his answer.  
  
"Yeah" he said, looking away. "The guard? The big muscular one? That was supposed to go get the others? And a few more people."  
  
"How many?" she asked, her heart racing.  
  
"Six. But no one we know. Just a few guards. Coincidentally enough" he said, lowering his voice "Three of the five guards what were supposed to go on the mission to bring the others back are among the dead. Kind of weird, right?"  
  
So, she was responsible for seven more deaths. Add that to the list of the hundreds from Trikru.  
  
The look she gave Murphy told him all he needed to know. He didn't ask her anything else.  
  
She stood, ready to help the others.  
  
"You're weak. You should go eat something. Get some of your strength back before you go play doctor" Murphy said.  
  
She didn't want to leave. She wasn't ready to face the others yet. But Murphy was right. She was weak.  
  
She made her way to the throne room.  
  
On the way there, she ran into Pike.  
  
"Ms. Griffin" he said, "Glad to see you up and walking. You scared us."  
  
"Yeah, I'm feeling much better" she said.  
  
"What were you doing in the dungeon? They said the grounder brought you up to the guard?"  
  
"Oh um. I-I was checking on him."  
  
"Any reason why?"  
  
"Well you said we should keep him alive. And he was shot. I was just making sure that-that his wound wasn't infected or anything."  
  
"That all?" he asked. The look on his face filled her with dread. He knew that wasn't all.  
  
"Why else would I go down there?"  
  
"I don't know...from what I heard...you and the _king_ were quite close."  
  
"I told you, he made me marry him. It-it wasn't real or anything."  
  
He studied her for a few minutes.  
  
"If you say so" he said, shrugging. "In any case, you are not allowed down there again."  
  
"What? Why?" she asked. She momentarily forgot that she was supposed to be feigning disinterest; hate. "I mean, shouldn't someone periodically check on him?"  
  
"Yeah, but leave that to me from now on."  
  
"But he needs a doctor? Someone with some sort of medical competence?"  
  
"He does. Jackson will be checking on him from now on."  
  
"Oh" she said, "Well okay then."  
  
She left after that, but she knew he was watching her.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
He was suspicious.  
  
And now, she couldn't even see Bellamy anymore.  
  
_No matter_ , she thought. _You'll free him soon enough and then we'll have nothing but time._ She tried to convince herself that it would really happen; that she'd see him soon and that they'd have all the time in the world to figure things out.  
  
But she couldn't help but feel a little defeated.  
  
It crossed her mind to go to the dungeon now. Maybe Pike hadn't told the guard yet? But she knew she was only grasping at straws. She knew in her heart that the guard most definitely knew, and that she'd only make herself seem even more suspicious if she went now.  
  
Instead, she went to the throne room.  
  
There weren't many people there. She sat down at one of the tables and forced herself to eat, to drink.  
  
By the end of the meal, she was feeling remarkably better. Physically, anyway.  
  
Raven came inside and silently sat down next to Clarke.  
  
"I'm sorry" Clarke whispered, "I-I didn't think anyone would die..."  
  
She searched Raven's face, expecting to see a look like the one her mother had given her. But she didn't find it.  
  
Raven didn't seem upset. Or angry.  
  
"This is war, Clarke. People die" she said, shrugging her shoulders. "You did the right thing. You did what you had to do. We all did."  
  
Clarke wasn't sure if she meant it.  
  
"Has anything happened? I mean, since I've been out?"  
  
"Not really. Mostly we've just been focusing on _not_ catching the virus. But so have they. So no new plans have been made or anything. And since quite a few people are still sick, I don't think Pike is in any hurry to send the ship back" Raven said.  
  
Clarke sighed. It wasn't enough. Pike would send the ship back at the first chance, and they still had no plan.  
  
"I've been working on something" Raven said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, we need a way to communicate with each other, since we can't all be in the same place at the same time."

"And?"  
  
"I've made a few radios, like walkie-talkies? We couldn't risk stealing the ones that Pike has, because we're not sure what frequency or channel they're on, we'd risk them hearing us. So we've formed a few small groups. Five, to be exact. But so far I've only made three radios."  
  
"Raven, that's great. Really, I-I don't know what to say" Clarke said, feeling more grateful for Raven then ever.  
  
"Well, it's a start."  
  
"Have you talked to Octavia?"  
  
"Yeah" Raven said, looking around. "She's going crazy, being cooped up in that room. She isn't used to being so...useless."  
  
Clarke thought of Bellamy and how he felt the same way a couple of days ago. How was he holding up? Was he doing as Clarke asked? Or had he already formed some sort of escape plan?  
  
"I need to talk to Bellamy" Clarke said.  
  
"So go see him" Raven said.  
  
Clarke told her about her conversation with Pike; about her concerns.  
  
"Shit" Raven said, "Well there's no way you can go see him now. That would basically tip Pike off."

"I know" Clarke said, feeling hopeless. "I just..."  
  
"I know" Raven said, "But there isn't anything you can do for him. Not now. So take your own advice and act normal."  
  
Just then, she saw Jackson walking past the throne room.  
  
"I gotta go, I'll catch up with you later. But please get those last two radios ready. We need to form a solid plan. Tell everyone to meet in Jasper and Monty's room tonight, okay?" she said.  
  
Raven nodded.  
  
Clarke ran after Jackson, catching up to him before he made the turn that led to the dungeon.  
  
"Hey" Clarke said, "Are you going to check on Bellamy?"  
  
"Yeah" Jackson said, "I heard about what happened. I'm sorry, Clarke. But I'll try to help him, okay?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Can-can you just tell him that we're working on getting him out? And that....and that I miss him?" she asked, feeling a little embarrassed.  
  
"Yeah, Clarke. I'll tell him."  
  
She went back to the quarantine room, figuring that taking care of the sick would somehow make her feel better about what she had done.  
  
It didn't.

* * *

 

That night, they met in Monty and Jasper's room.  
  
Not all of them, just the ones that could make it. Luckily, that included all of the leaders of the five groups.  
  
Abby, Kane, Monty and Miller were four of the five leaders. Clarke was the fifth.  
  
"He's not going to wait much longer, now that most of the sick have gotten better and it's been almost a full day since the we've had a new case" Monty said once the group had gathered.  
  
"How long do you think he'll wait?" Harper asked.  
  
"I'd say we're looking at a day. Two at the most" Monty said.  
  
They looked around at one another. Clarke noticed that her mother was still avoiding her gaze.  
  
"Has anyone thought of anything?" Miller asked.  
  
"I have" Kane said.  
  
Clarke looked up to study him, feeling more hopeful than she had been since all of this had started.  
  
"What do you have in mind?" Abby asked.  
  
"There are five groups with 20 to 25 people in each group. From what we have learned, there are six entrances to the castle. Two guards stationed at each. If we plan to overthrow Pike, those will have to be taken first."

"Why?" Clarke asked.  
  
"So that my people can help us, if they need to, that is" Octavia said, speaking up for the first time that night.  
  
Kane nodded. _So, they've met Octavia? And she and Kane had already formed a plan?_  
  
"We would take the entrances first. As quietly and as discreetly as possible. We'd let Octavia and a few others go down to the village for help. By the time they come back up here to surround the castle, we need to disarm all the guards" Kane said.  
  
"And?" Clarke asked.  
  
"That's all I have so far" Kane said, shrugging.  
  
"It's not enough" Clarke said, "If you think that Pike and his group will give up or...or surrender...they won't. He won't care if they surround the castle. As long as they have their guns, they won't give up."  
  
"Which is why I said we need to disarm them" Kane said.  
  
"And how the hell are we going to disarm all of them in time? If just one of them has a weapon, they'll win" Miller said.  
  
"So we attack at night" Clarke said.  
  
"What?" Kane asked.

"We wait until most of the people have gone to bed. Midnight should be a good time. First we take the entrances. Disarm the guards and lock them away somewhere they won't be able to get away. The dungeon. And then we go for Pike and his council" Clarke said, the plan already forming in her mind.  
  
"Before we can do any of that" Monty said, "We need access to guns of our own. We'll never take the entrances without them."  
  
"But Murphy said there's no way he can sneak us guns" Raven said.  
  
"So we take the weapons room first" Clarke said, "Before we take the entrances. We take the weapons room. Get those guards first. Arm ourselves and get the rest?"  
  
They all looked around at one another.  
  
Kane thought about it for a few minutes before nodding.  
  
"Clarke's right. We should take the weapons room first. Arm ourselves, take the entrances and then Pike" he said.  
  
"So how many people will it take? To secure the weaponry first?" Miller asked.  
  
"I'll do it" Octavia said.  
  
"What? No way. That's too dangerous, Octavia" Raven said, shaking her head. "They'll kill you on the spot."

"I'm the best fighter here" Octavia said, "How are you going to take the guards without me? It's not like a group of you can just storm into the place and fight them off. You said we need to be discreet. If a large group is headed there, we'd get caught before anything even happened" she said.  
  
"But-" Raven began.  
  
"Octavia's right" Monty said, "Besides, Murphy will be there. So she won't be by herself."  
  
"That's too risky" Raven said, "I don't like it."  
  
"I'll be fine. Second best fighter in the castle, remember?" Octavia said, smiling a little.  
  
"So when do we do this?" Miller asked.  
  
They all looked to Clarke.  
  
"Tomorrow night" she said. She wanted to do it as soon as possible. But tonight was not an option. They had just come up with the plan. Seeing it through tomorrow night would give them more time to prepare.  
  
"Abby?" Kane said, "What do you think?"  
  
Everyone looked to Abby. **  
**  
"It's too soon" she said, "We barely have a plan. And the rest of our people don't know. It's too soon."

"No, it isn't" Clarke said. "We have a plan. We just discussed it. And since it won't start until tomorrow night, you have all day tomorrow to let the others know."  
  
"I said no" Abby said, finally looking at her daughter.  
  
The air in the room felt tense.  
  
Clarke stood up and faced her mother.  
  
"I'm in charge" she said, not caring that her voice had gone cold. "And I say it's happening tomorrow night."  
  
"Clarke-" Abby began.  
  
Clarke turned her back on her mother and faced the group.  
  
"Leaders, let the members of your group know about the plan. As soon as Octavia secures the weapons room, I'll contact the team leaders through the radio. When you get my message, make your way to the weapons room in small groups. After we arm ourselves, half of the group will go to the entrances and take the guards out. The other half will go for Pike and those closest to him" she said, looking at every single person in the room.  
  
Octavia gave her an approving smirk, nodding her head a little.  
  
Clarke looked at her mother again. **  
**  
"We attack at midnight."

After going through the plan one more time and diving the group into two categories, those who will go for the guards and those who will go for Pike and his council, the group parted and made their way to their own rooms.  
  
"Clarke" Abby said, grabbing her arm as she turned to go down the corridor that would lead her to her quarters, "I need you to do something for me."  
  
"What is it?" Clarke asked.  
  
"Try to remember that we're the good guys" Abby said.  
  
She slept fretfully that night, thoughts of the next day making it impossible for her to relax.  
  
She thought of what her mother said.  
  
_Try to remember that we're the good guys._

* * *

 

The next morning, she caught Jackson on his way to the dungeon. She handed him a piece of paper and told him to give it to Bellamy.  
  
_See you at midnight_ , she'd written.  
  
When they went for the guards at the entrances, they'd get the one that was at the dungeon as well.  
  
She wanted to be the one to free him, she wanted to be the first face he saw when he got out. But since her group was supposed to focus on Pike and his council, someone else would have to do it.  
  
Anticipation was in the air; almost everyone she encountered seemed jittery. She only hoped that Pike and his people wouldn't notice.  
  
She realized she couldn't say anything to the others, about being more careful, more discreet, when she noticed her own hands shaking as she poured herself a glass of water.  
  
She ate breakfast with the residents of the castle, not really feeling hungry but forcing herself to eat anyway. She'd need her strength today.  
  
Going through her regular daily motions should have made the day pass slow. But before she knew it, it was time for dinner.  
  
Everyone had been briefed; all the people that were supposed to know about the plan knew about it.

Sitting down at one of the tables, Clarke glanced around at the people she knew were on her side. A few looked scared, but for the most part her people just looked determined; ready to pounce at her command. It filled her with confidence. She realized that she wouldn't have been such a successful leader if her people weren't such good followers. They all knew their places; they all played their parts.  
  
The confidence turned her worry to excitement. Her anticipation wasn't tinged with anxiety anymore.  
  
The thought of seeing Bellamy at the end of the night gave her a feeling she thought she'd long forgotten; like butterflies in her stomach.  
  
_What will he say? What will he do?_ she thought, mindlessly poking at the food on her plate. She thought of all the ways their reunion could go. Would they get a minute alone? Or would they be too busy fighting? Trying to figure out what to do next?  
  
_Next._ That brought her up short. She hadn't really thought about what would happen after this. And the group hadn't really discussed it. What would they do with Pike and the others from Farm station? What would Bellamy do? It was up to him. He was the king, after all. And this is his land.  
  
_What will he do?_  
  
"What's got you so worried?" Raven said, sitting down next to Clarke. She looked around before leaning in and whispering "Thinking about your lawfully wedded?"  
  
Clarke smiled. 

It didn't matter, what happened after tonight. She couldn't think about that. They had to get through this night first. Whatever came after all depended on it.  
  
"Yeah" Clarke said, "I was, actually."  
  
"Relax, you'll see him tonight. How will you celebrate?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"After we win?" Raven whispered, a smile playing at her lips. "How are you gonna celebrate?"  
  
"I don't really know" Clarke said. And she didn't. Everything with her and Bellamy was still so....complicated. She hadn't really had time to work through everything that had happened between them. But the night the Sky People attacked, things had changed between them. Again. They were...they were something. _Right?_  
  
She shook her head.  
  
She couldn't think about that now. It wasn't important.  
  
"What about you?" Clarke asked, hoping to change the subject. Her feelings for Bellamy were something she had to work out on her own, in the quiet of her room, when her loved ones were safe and sound.  
  
"What?" Raven asked.  
  
"How are you gonna celebrate? Gonna give Octavia a big sloppy kiss?"

"Shut up" Raven said, rolling her eyes.  
  
Clarke smiled to herself.  
  
"Who are you with tonight?" Raven asked once they were out of the throne room.  
  
"Monty and I will be waiting down the corridor from the weaponry" she whispered. "As soon as Octavia gives us the signal we'll radio in to let the rest of you know it's time. After that, I'm with Kane. We're-we're going for Pike. What about you?"  
  
"I'm with Millers group. We're going for the guards" Raven said.  
  
They'd reached the bridge and it was time to part ways.  
  
"Good luck" Raven said, pulling Clarke in for a hug.  
  
"You too" Clarke said, hugging Raven a little tighter than usual.  
  
Clarke went to her room after that. She decided to go ahead and get ready, despite the fact that it wasn't even close to midnight yet.  
  
After she got dressed, she looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn't intended to dress in all black, and yet there she was. In a way, her outfit reminded her of Bellamy and how he looked the first time she saw him.  
  
Dark. Dangerous. Intimidating.  
  
She sat down at her vanity table and put on a little makeup, similar to how she'd had it on her wedding day.

After putting a long black coat on, she tucked the knife she'd stolen from the kitchen into her belt. She sat down on the loveseat across the fireplace and waited.  
  
At some point, she began to shake her leg.  
  
She got up, too full of nervous energy and anticipation to sit in one place. She paced the room, going over the plan again and again.  
  
_Wait for Octavia's signal. Notify the others. Find Kane. Go to Pike's quarters and take him prisoner. Head to the throne room._  
  
_Find Bellamy._  
  
After pacing the room for what felt like hours, she heard a faint knock on her door.  
  
She opened it and found Monty.  
  
"It's time" he said, and together they made their way toward the weapons room. They'd let Octavia go ten minutes before they left, so she'd get a chance to get there and disable the guards before Clarke and Monty would show up.  
  
The cold was relentless; Clarke felt it in her bones.  
  
_So cold._  
  
They didn't speak a word.  
  
Silently, they stopped at the turn that led to the weapons room and stood against the wall. Clarke peeked around the corner.

The door to the room was still closed.  
  
She shook her head, silently telling Monty that Octavia had not given them the signal yet. Clarke hoped that she would hurry up. They were all alone, on castle grounds past the curfew Pike had set. If a guard caught them, they'd never get a chance to do this.  
  
A few minutes passed. Clarke peeked around the corner again but again, the door was closed.  
  
"Something's wrong" Clarke whispered. Octavia had been there for about fifteen minutes; she had said she would only need a few.  
  
Just then, a loud crash came from the weapons room.  
  
Fear and curiosity propelled her forward. She knew this wasn't part of the plan. But neither was that crash. And Octavia would have never made such noise; she knew they had to be as quiet as possible.  
  
Clarke ran down the hall with Monty right on her heels. Whatever she was feeling, he must have felt it too.  
  
She threw the doors open.  
  
Murphy lay crumpled on the floor. It looked like he had been thrown against the wall. That must have been the sound they heard.  
  
Clarke glanced to her left and saw Octavia on the floor. A woman was on top of her, choking her.  
  
"Mom!" Monty yelled, running towards his mother.  
  
Clarke ran to Murphy's side. She had to make sure he was okay.

"Murphy! Murphy!" she yelled, shaking him.  
  
He was covered in blood. Whatever he had been thrown against must have been made of glass; small shards of it were still sticking to him.  
  
Clarke quickly scanned his body, grateful that she didn't find a big piece of glass penetrating his abdomen; or worse.  
  
"I'm fine" he groaned, trying to stand up.  
  
Clarke helped him.  
  
She'd been so worried about him she forgot about the others in the room.  
  
She turned, noticing that the two guards that worked with Murphy were lying on the floor. They were dead, if the puddles of blood by their bodies was anything to go by.  
  
"Mom!" Monty yelled, shoving his mother off of Octavia.  
  
But she was a lot bigger than he was.  
  
She threw one arm back and her elbow collided with the side of his face. The force of the blow knocking him to the side.  
  
Clarke ran towards Monty's mother; ready to tackle her to the ground.  
  
But the woman let go of Octavia's neck and suddenly she held a gun in her hands, pointing it right at Clarke's head.  
  
"I knew it" she said, "I knew you were up to something."

"Mom please, don't do this" Monty said, rising to his feet.  
  
Clarke was glued to her spot. She couldn't go forward. She couldn't really go anywhere. So she stayed standing, staring down the barrel of the woman's gun.  
  
"On your knees" she said, "All of you!"  
  
"Mom-"  
  
"I said all of you" she said, now pointing the gun at Monty.  
  
Clarke couldn't really believe her eyes. _How can she do that? How can she point her gun at her own son?_  
  
Clarke, Murphy and Monty dropped to their knees.  
  
A second later, Octavia's hand shot up and knocked the gun out of the woman's hand. It skid across the floor, stopping right in front of Monty.  
  
The woman put her hands back down on Octavia's neck.  
  
Monty picked the gun up and aimed it at his mother.  
  
"Mom! Don't make me do this!" he yelled.  
  
Octavia's lips were turning blue, her eyes were slowly rolling to the back of her head.  
  
"Mom!" Monty yelled again.

Clarke got up, ready to tackle the woman again but Monty beat her to it. He stood up and ran towards his mother. He brought the butt of the gun down on her temple and she let go of Octavia. She fell to the side with a thud.  
  
"Tie her up and gag her!" Monty yelled.  
  
Clarke went to Octavia, hoping that the girl was still conscious.  
  
Octavia groaned, bringing her hands up to her neck. Clarke could already see the bruises forming.  
  
Murphy tied Monty's mother's hands and feet together, placing a gag over her mouth for good measure. No doubt she'd scream for help as soon as she regained consciousness.  
  
"We can't just leave her here" Octavia said, her voice coming out strained and creaky.  
  
"We've already wasted enough time" Clarke said, "We can't stay here with her."  
  
She grabbed the walkie-talkie she'd placed in her jacket.  
  
"Listen up. The weapons room is secured. I repeat, the weapons room is secured. Make your way here in small groups" she said.  
  
"Copy that" Kane said from the other side.  
  
"What if she wakes up? What if she gets away?" Murphy asked, looking at Monty's mother.  
  
"I'll stay here" Monty said. "You guys head out with your groups...I'll-I'll stay with her. I'll make sure she doesn't get away."

Clarke nodded. She hated to put him in that position. But they'd already lost enough time.  
  
She grabbed a gun and waited for Kane. He'd be in the first group.  
  
Eventually there was a quiet knock on the door.  
  
Kane, Harper and a few others came inside and armed themselves.  
  
Octavia, Harper and the others that had come left shortly after. They were the ones that had to go to the village. They should have already been halfway there by now.  
  
Clarke put her head in her hands, trying to calm herself down.  
  
Their plan had just gone into affect and already things weren't going as _planned._  
  
"Clarke" Kane said, putting a hand on her back, "We should go."  
  
Clarke nodded and followed Kane out of the door.  
  
Pike's room was the furthest from the weapons room, of all the council members.  
  
Clarke and Kane quietly made their way there, stopping at every corner to check for guards. It was dark, the only light coming from the little lanterns that had been hung about ten feet apart. But Clarke was grateful for the darkness; it made it easier to blend in.  
  
And despite the fact that her teeth chattered; she was grateful for the cold, too. It kept a lot of the guards inside. There wouldn't be as many out in the open.

They'd just turned another corner when Kane held his hand up, silently telling Clarke to stop.  
  
Clarke stood on her tip toes to look over his shoulder. She wanted to know why they had stopped; they were already behind as it was.  
  
She noticed a figure about ten feet ahead of them. A man.  
  
A guard.  
  
But luckily he had his back turned, walking away.  
  
Kane took a step backward and Clarke did the same. They had to get back behind the corner; the man could turn and see them any second.  
  
Clarke turned, she was almost there when  
  
"Stop!" a voice shouted.  
  
She heard the guard running towards them.  
  
But she was already at the corner. She turned and stood against the wall.  
  
Maybe she shouldn't have abandoned Kane like that. But it would be more suspicious if they were both caught. This way, it'd only be him. Clarke was sure that he'd think of something, that he'd have a good excuse for being out in the open in the middle of the night.  
  
She held her breath, trying to listen.  
  
"What the hell are you doing out here?" the guard said. 

He was close.  
  
"I...I was on my way to see the chancellor" Kane said.  
  
He had stopped moving.  
  
"In the middle of the night?" the guard said. Clarke could hear the skepticism. She wanted to peek around the corner. But they were so close. They couldn't have been more than five feet away. He would definitely see her.  
  
"Yes. Something's come up" Kane said, "Something the chancellor needs to know about."  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
"It's classified information. Nothing you need to worry yourself over."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
Kane had sounded confident. She wasn't sure why the guard wasn't buying it.  
  
"Excuse me?" Kane said, sounding as surprised as Clarke felt.  
  
"It's kind of funny. Today we were given orders to pay close attention to you, Marcus. And here you are...in the middle of the night, sneaking through the castle? What are you up to?"  
  
"I'm not up to anything, like I said, I've got some information that the chancellor needs to hear. So I'd appreciate it if you let me through" Kane said. He sounded more nervous now.  
  
"I don't think so" the guard said. Clarke could hear him move. "Get on your knees."  
  
"This is madness. Just let me through and-"

But he didn't finish his sentence.  
  
Clarke couldn't stop herself from peeking around the corner now.  
  
The guard had his gun aimed at Kane, who was now wordlessly putting his hands up. Clarke could see his gun tucked into his belt in the back.  
  
If the guard saw the gun....  
  
She didn't think twice before lifting her own gun and pointing it at the guards head.  
  
She moved from her position behind the wall.  
  
"Put the gun down" she said.  
  
The guard looked between her and Kane.  
  
_Fuck. He knows._  
  
"Put the gun down" she repeated.  
  
"Or what? You'll shoot me?" the guard said. He voice sounded skeptical. He knew that she wouldn't.  
  
Clarke took a few steps forward but the guard stayed in his position, his gun still pointed at Kane.  
  
Clarke stopped when her own gun was only a few inches away from the guards head.

"I said put the gun down" she said, "I won't ask you again."  
  
"I-I don't think so" he said, but his voice shook. He wasn't so sure anymore.  
  
"Three seconds" she said.  
  
"One"  
  
She noticed the beads of sweat that had suddenly gathered on his forehead, despite the cold.  
  
"Two"  
  
He swallowed. The hand that was holding his gun began to shake.  
  
"Three"  
  
The guard put the gun down as soon as the word left her lips. The gun was still in his hand, but it was pointed at the ground and not Kane.  
  
"Get on your knees" she said, her gun still aimed at his head.  
  
He dropped to his knees and Kane took the gun out of his hands and tucked it into his belt.  
  
"I'm sorry about this" Clarke said. She brought the gun down, using all her force to hit him in the temple; just like Byrne had done to her.  
  
"Funny" Kane said afterwards, searching the guard for something he could use to tie him up. "You didn't really sound that sorry."

"That's because I'm not" Clarke said, looking around, making sure they were alone.  
  
Kane undid the mans belt and used it to bind his wrists together.  
  
"What should we do with him? Take him to the throne room? The dungeon? That's where the others are taking the guards" Kane asked.  
  
"We've already lost too much time. Let's just stick him in the closest room for now. We can come back for him later" she said.  
  
She and Kane dragged the man's body down the corridor. Eventually, they came across an empty room. It looked to be some kind of storage room, full of old furniture and other random items.  
  
Clarke found an old rope and handed it to Kane. After he tied the mans legs together, they set out again.  
  
They continued on their way to Pike's room, trying to be more discreet than before.  
  
Eventually, they came to the hall that led to his room. Clarke took a step forward. She wanted to lead.  
  
She had just put her hand on the doorknob when suddenly three gunshots rang in the distance.  
  
She froze.  
  
Kane stayed as still as a statue, listening.

Actually using the guns they'd stolen was never part of the plan. But if it wasn't them, it was Pike's guards. Had they shot someone?  
  
Clarke looked at Kane. The look on his face was similar to hers. They were both thinking the same thing. Their people knew that gunfire would draw attention. They'd get caught. So it couldn't have been them. But if they weren't doing the shooting...then they were the ones being _shot_ at.  
  
Clarke could only hope that it hadn't woken Pike up.  
  
And that everyone was okay.  
  
She couldn't think about the what-if's. Not right now.  
  
She turned the doorknob and just as she had anticipated; it was locked. She turned and looked at Kane, giving him a nod. They'd discussed this.  
  
Clarke stood to the side as Kane moved to the front of the door. They had to act quickly.  
  
There was probably a quieter way to do this; a smarter way. But they didn't have time.  
  
He took the gun that was slung across his back and brought it down on the doorknob.  
  
Once. Twice. And the third time, the doorknob fell off.  
  
He kicked the door in and Clarke ran inside, her gun already up.  
  
Pike was getting out of bed. They knew the sound would wake him.  
  
"Stop" Clarke said, aiming her gun at him.

He was half asleep, half out of bed.  
  
But he stopped.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.  
  
"Get on your knees" Clarke said.  
  
Kane came up beside her. His gun was pointed at Pike, too.  
  
Clarke was sure that her gun was enough; that it would prevent Pike from doing anything stupid. But having Kane there as a backup made her feel more confident.  
  
"Marcus? What is this?" Pike asked, looking between the two of them.  
  
"Do what she says, Charles" Kane said.  
  
Pike scoffed.  
  
But he got on his knees.  
  
Clarke kept her gun pointed at him as Kane put his down and went to tie Pike up. Once his hands were bound, Kane grabbed his arm and helped him up.  
  
Silently, they left the room.  
  
"Do you really think this will work?" Pike asked.  
  
"Shut up" Clarke said, looking around.

"As soon as my guards see you, they'll shoot" Pike said.  
  
"Then I guess I'll just have to shoot them first, huh?"  
  
"What is this about, anyway? Your little grounder king? Do you really think you can take me down?"  
  
Clarke didn't respond. He was obviously trying to be loud, hoping that someone would hear him.  
  
"I hope you know that you've just signed his death warrant" Pike said.  
  
That pissed her off. She turned to face him.  
  
"Yeah? And who's gonna do that? You?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "In case you haven't noticed, you are in no position to be making threats. So who else? Your guards? That'll be a little difficult considering they're in the same position you are. Maybe worse. But keep talking and I'll make sure that my little grounder king gets his hands on you before I do."  
  
That shut him up.  
  
They made their way to the throne room in silence after that.  
  
Clarke took the lead again. Once they were close to the throne room, she payed more attention to her surroundings. Pike's guards should have been overpowered by now, but not all of them were at their posts tonight. Some of them were sleeping in their rooms. The sounds their group alone had made were enough to wake some of them. 

She was sure that not all the guards had went down as easily as the one she and Kane had encountered.  
  
She heard people talking in the throne room.  
  
But no one was yelling. No one was screaming. And it didn't sound like they were fighting.  
  
She felt hopeful once more.  
  
Clarke stopped in the entryway and surveyed the scene. Miller and Abby stood at the front of the room, another fifteen to twenty people from their groups around them.  
  
But at the tables, Pike's guards and various other people sat at the tables. Almost all of them were slumped over, passed out.  
  
Clarke nodded to Kane, letting him know he could bring Pike in.  
  
The three of them made their way to the front of the group.  
  
"What happened? Why are they all asleep?" Clarke asked, looking around.  
  
"Your mom had a really good idea" Miller said, smiling at Abby.  
  
"What?" Clarke asked.  
  
Abby had a satchel across her body. She opened it and took out a syringe. 

"Barbiturates.From the Ark. After we disabled them and brought them here, we injected them with these. They won't stay asleep for long...but we figured having them all awake in such close quarters wasn't a good idea" Abby said.  
  
Clarke nodded. It was a great idea. She wished they'd thought of it sooner.  
  
"What the hell have you done to my people?" Pike asked, looking around.  
  
"Relax" Abby said, "They're only taking a nap. Speaking of which....what about him?" she asked, looking at Clarke.  
  
"No" Clarke said, "Let's keep him awake."  
  
Just then, another group of guards were being ushered into the throne room. One look around the room and they began to panic.  
  
And then, everyone was yelling. Arguing.  
  
Kane was distracted. He looked away for a second, but it was all Pike needed.  
  
He brought his bound hands up and hit Kane; his elbow connecting with Kane's chin, sending his head reeling back.  
  
The other guards followed their leader and began to fight back.  
  
Clarke ran towards Pike. He had his back turned to her, barking out commands to his guards. She kicked at the back of his knee with all her strength and he screamed out in pain, falling to his knees.  
  
She pointed her gun at the ceiling and fired it. Just once. 

Then she put the gun on the back of Pike's head.  
  
"Everybody shut up!" she yelled, her voice echoing through the throne room. "If one more goddamn person tries to fight this, fight us, I will shoot him" Clarke said. "It's over. So shut the fuck up and sit down."  
  
Loud. Demanding. Clear. And unwavering.  
  
Every single person in the room stopped talking, stopped fighting. They all looked to her.  
  
The guards looked to Pike, who nodded.  
  
They sat down in the available spots and didn't fight as Clarke's people tied them up. Abby and Jackson went around and put them to sleep, one by one, telling them that it wouldn't be for long.  
  
After that, Clarke and her people were the only ones awake. Well, them and Pike.  
  
Eventually, all the others returned. The throne room was overcrowded by that point. Clarke had never seen it so full.  
  
"That's all of them" Raven said, walking up to stand beside Clarke.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, the others all radioed in. I told them to take the remaining guards to the dungeon, since it's way too crowded here. We've left the others in their rooms, the people who aren't guards but possibly side with Pike. What will we do with them?" Raven asked.

"I don't know. Have you heard from Octavia?" Clarke asked.  
  
It'd been over an hour, possibly two since Octavia and the others had left.  
  
Just then, the doors opened and Octavia walked through, a few people trailing behind her. Harper was one of them. She stopped to close the door behind her.  
  
"Speak of the devil" Raven said, smirking a little.  
  
Octavia glared at Pike on her way towards the two girls.  
  
"Why is he still breathing?" she asked.  
  
"We haven't decided what we're going to do-" Clarke began.  
  
"Then I'll make it easy on you" Octavia said, pulling her sword out.  
  
"Octavia, no" Clarke said, "We need to talk about it first. With Bellamy."  
  
"Like hell! He killed-"  
  
"I know" Clarke said, cutting Octavia off. "I know. And he will pay. But not just yet."  
  
"Clarke, you can't-"  
  
"I said no" Clarke said, an edge to her voice.  
  
There was still so much to do. She didn't have time to argue with Octavia.  
  
"Fine" Octavia said, putting her sword across her back.

"Where's Bellamy?" Clarke asked.  
  
"He's coming" Octavia said.  
  
Clarke turned and walked up the few steps to stand in front of the table she shared with Bellamy and Octavia.  
  
"Listen up" she yelled, "The castle has been-"  
  
But she stopped talking when she saw the doors to the throne room opening.  
  
As soon as the doors were open she found herself staring directly at Bellamy, who was already looking at her, too.  
  
He was in his king ensemble. The sword from their bedroom in his right hand.  
  
He walked through the room and the people parted, giving him a clear path to Clarke.  
  
She looked past him for a second, noticing Monty guiding his mother in. And Murphy, guiding a bound and very beat up looking Finn in.  
  
She looked at Bellamy again.  
  
His jaw was clenched, but he walked towards her with his head high. The look in his eye looked like admiration. Like he was proud, looking at her standing there in front of all those people. And he didn't look at anything or anyone else as he made his way to her. Not a single person. Not even Pike.  
  
She was pretty sure that she'd never, ever been so turned on in her life because even amidst all the chaos around them, his eyes were on her. She couldn't even look away.

She jumped off of the elevated portion so that they could stand face to face. She didn't care if everyone was staring. She didn't care that the whole room had gone very, very quiet.  
  
She looked at him, thinking about her very first night here.  
  
He didn't stop when he was a few inches away from her, like she thought he would.  
  
Instead, he walked right up to her and put his free hand on the back of her neck, pulling her towards him, crushing his lips to hers.  
  
She momentarily forgot that they were in a crowded room.  
  
She kissed him back. In her kiss was everything she couldn't say; _I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you're safe._  
  
_I love you. I love you. I love you now more than ever._  
  
He pulled back after a few moments to take a look at her. He scanned her body, making sure that she was okay.  
  
"I knew it" he said, smirking at her.  
  
"What?" she asked, "What did you know?"  
  
"I knew you could do this."

She smiled at him, feeling totally ridiculous when she realized just how happy she was, despite the situation they were in.  
  
"Hate to break this up" Murphy said, walking up to stand beside them. "But we've got a few things to take care of."  
  
"Shut up, Murphy" Bellamy said, giving Clarke another kiss.  
  
But Murhpy was right. They had other things to take care of. They could kiss later.  
  
With that in mind, Clarke pulled away and turned to face the group again.  
  
"The castle is surrounded. All the enterences have been secured, all the guards have been disarmed. We need to talk to the others, the ones who might not be on our side. First, we will take all of these guards to the dungeons. Leave them tied up. Those whose loyalty lies with Pike will need to be taken there, too. Search the castle for anyone we might have missed. And then go door to door, bring all the others here so we can talk to them" she said.  
  
People started to file out. The leaders of each group giving directions and orders.  
  
Eventually, the only people that remained in the throne room were Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Octavia, Abby, Kane, Monty, Jasper, Miller and Murphy.  
  
Clarke looked around at the group. The people who had made all of this possible. The people who believed in her. The people she loved.  
  
"Nathan" Murphy said, looking at Miller's bruised and bloody face. "I've gotta say...you've looked better."

"You haven't" Miller said, patting Murphy on the back.  
  
A few people laughed.  
  
"So that's it? It's over?" Jasper asked.  
  
"Yeah" Clarke said, "It's over."  
  
"What now?" Raven asked.  
  
"Now we decide on what we should do with them" Kane said.  
  
"First things first, what do we do with the ones who didn't really pick a side?" Monty asked.  
  
Half the people in the room looked to Clarke; the other half looked to Bellamy.  
  
"What do you think?" he asked, looking at Clarke.  
  
"You're still the king" she said, unsure. She figured that he'd have a plan. An idea.  
  
"Yeah, but only because of you" he said, smiling at her. "Well, you and your friends."  
  
Clarke thought about it.  
  
"I guess..." she began, "I guess we should give them an option. Let them know that the only way the could stay here is if they're okay with living under your, I mean our, rule?"  
  
"Well, there you go" Bellamy said. "That's what we'll do. I'll let you talk to them once they've all gathered."

"And what about Pike? And his people?" Octavia asked.  
  
No one spoke up.  
  
"Bellamy?" Octavia said. "They...they killed so many of us. We can't just-"  
  
"I don't know. For right now, keep them in the dungeon. We need to think about it. I can't really decide on anything right now. We'll regroup tomorrow" he said, running a hand through his hair.  
  
"Okay. I've set up guards to watch them, make sure they don't do anything" Kane said.  
  
"Thank you" Bellamy said, nodding to Kane.  
  
After that, they all sat down. They were all exhausted. Clarke wasn't sure what time it was. Eventually, Jackson came into the room to tell Abby that she was needed in medical. There were a few people that had been hurt.  
  
Clarke was grateful that they didn't ask for her to join them.  
  
She didn't know how much time had passed, but eventually people started filing into the room.  
  
"That's all of them" Raven said.  
  
The room was crowded. Clarke found it a little hard to breathe, so she wanted to get it over with.

"Listen up" she said, standing at the front of the group. "This was never your place. You all came here with Pike and took it. But we've taken it back. It belongs to us. Pike and his coucil, as well as the guards and those who sided with Farm station are all locked away in the dungeon right now."  
  
A few people started to ask questions, but she put her hand up, silencing them.  
  
"We've summoned you here to give you a choice. Side with us, abide by our rules and accept the king and I as your rulers and you will be allowed to stay. Not on castle grounds, obviously. But that is something that we can discuss tomorrow. For right now, we just need to know where your loyalties lie. If you want to stick with the others, your fate will be their fate. We will only allow people who follow our rules and live in peace with the grounders on this land to stay."  
  
The room was completely silent.  
  
She looked back at Bellamy and he gave her a nod, telling her to go on.  
  
"We are not prisoners here. We stayed here by choice. And up until you all showed up, we lived in peace with the grounders. We were one and we were all welcomed, just as you will be if you accept my offer. Violence will not be tolerated here. Hate will not be tolerated here. If that is something that you can accept, then you will be allowed to stay. The choice is up to you."  
  
With that, she sat back down, giving the people a few minutes to think about what she said.  
  
"Have I ever told you that you make a really good queen?" Bellamy asked, lowering his voice so that only she heard him.

She rolled her eyes, but she smiled at him.  
  
"Really" he said, smiling back. "I can't believe you pulled this off."  
  
"What?" she exclaimed, "I thought you said you believed in me?"  
  
"I did. I do. I just didn't think it'd go this smoothly. I thought for sure there'd be more fighting. Honestly, I'm a little disappointed. I didn't really get to fight anyone."  
  
"Well, sorry to disappoint you" she said. "I'll fight you, if that'll make you feel better?"  
  
"The last thing I want to do is _fight_ you, trust me" he said, smirking at her.  
  
"Yeah? And what's the first?" she asked. She wasn't sure why she was being so bold. Things were still kind of up in the air between them. They hadn't really talked about their relationship yet.  
  
And still, there she was, flirting with him among the chaos around them.  
  
"Thank you, for starters."  
  
"You don't have to do that" she said, getting back to being serious. It wasn't exactly what she was hoping to hear. But it brought her back to reality.  
  
"Yes, I do. Thank you. For everything" he said, reaching over to hold her hand.  
  
"You're welcome" she said. It felt a little ridiculous. He was only in this situation because of her, her people. It was only right that she fixed it. "And thank you."  
  
"For what?"

"Everything" she said, looking over at him.  
  
Again, she forgot that they were in a crowded room. That it wasn't only the two of them.  
  
She shook her head a little, composing herself before standing.  
  
"Those of you who will not accept our offer, please rise" she said.  
  
Four people stood up. She waited, but the rest stayed in their seats.  
  
"Anyone else?"  
  
No one else stood.  
  
"Please escort these four people to the dungeon" she said, nodding to the people from her own group who had taken over as guards. "Don't worry, you won't stay there long. Just until we figure out what we're going to do."  
  
The four people that stood were escorted out, the door to the throne room shut behind them.  
  
"As for the rest of you" she began, "Go back to your rooms. We're not sure what will happen next. That's something we need to think about. But as long as you abide by our rules, you will be safe. I hope that you understand that the way you came here was wrong, that it can't be like that. If you would have come in peace, all of this could have been avoided. But I know that some of you came because you had no choice. Or because you were just hoping to find us. I know that. That's why we're letting you stay. Please don't make me regret this. And please know that if you step out of line, you will be dealt with."

Clarke looked to the side where her friends and family stood, and they all gave her nods and smiles of approval.  
  
She smiled back at them before sitting down.  
  
Eventually, the room cleared.  
  
"What now?" Jasper asked.  
  
"Now" Bellamy said, standing up. "We sleep. Everything else can wait until the morning."  
  
He offered his hand to Clarke and she took it without hesitation.  
  
They left the throne room together, walking to their quarters hand in hand.  
  
Once inside, Clarke closed the door behind them.  
  
"I've missed this bed" Bellamy said, taking his clothes off.  
  
"You were in the dungeon for four days Bellamy" Clarke said, rolling her eyes. She started a fire in the fireplace before getting ready for bed.  
  
"Yes but it's very cold down there" he said, crawling in.  
  
"I remember" she said, getting in bed after him. "You made us stay there that first night."  
  
"Sorry about that" he said, laying on his back.  
  
She smiled at him before laying down next to him.

"What a crazy day" she said, looking up at the ceiling. She couldn't really process all that had happened in the past few hours.  
  
"You'll have to tell me about it. I want to know everything."  
  
"I will" she said, turning on her side. "Tomorrow."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Tomorrow it is."  
  
He turned on his side, facing her.  
  
"What did you mean? When you said that you wished you would have met me sooner?" she whispered.  
  
It was dark in their room, the only source of light coming from the fire in the fireplace. She hadn't had an opportunity to light the candles, to replace the ones that had gone out.  
  
"I meant I wished I would have met you sooner" he said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because" he said, reaching over to run a hand down her back. "Because despite everything that's happened....I've never been happier. And I wasn't sure what was going to happen at the time, if they'd drag me off and kill me before I got the chance to see you again. All I could think was that I wished I'd met you sooner. That I'd gotten more time with you."  
  
She smiled a little, feeling like her heart skipped a beat at his words.

"I love you too" she whispered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You told me you loved me. And I didn't say it back. But I do, Bellamy. I love you too" she said. She didn't wait for his response. She shifted until she was close enough to kiss him.  
  
And then she did.  
  
The hand on her back pulled her closer.  
  
Eventually she pulled away and turned until her back was pressed to his front. He wrapped his arm around her and she placed her hand on top of his.  
  
It was then that all her exhaustion caught up to her and she drifted off, all thoughts of what would happen tomorrow disappearing from her mind.  
  
And despite everything that had happened, the feeling of his body behind her and the arm he had across her made her feel safe again.  
  
He was there, guarding her from the night and all the things that resided in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She loves him too!!!!
> 
> I know this chapter didn't have much Bellarke. But as I said, this part of this story was about Clarke. Bellamy saved her. And now she's saved him! Next chapter, I promise there will be more Bellarke alone time ;) ;)
> 
> There are TWO chapters left after this. I wholeheartedly believe that stories/shows should not be dragged out. I've (almost) told all of the story, and I don't want to ruin it despite how much I've loved writing this fic. That being said....
> 
> I've ALREADY had another idea. And because I am total trash and writing has made this hiatus better, I plan on writing a new Bellarke AU. It will definitely contain my favorite trope (enemies to friends to lovers) and since I really liked writing this old/kind of medieval setting, the next one will be similar. But instead of arranged marriage....I'm thinking (reluctant) soulmates!!! And maybe vikings?! I don't know. It's another one of my random ideas. So if I end up liking it (I've only got a little written so far) I might post it. For anyone that's interested!! I could even possibly give you guys a little snippet and see what you think? IDK!!
> 
> As always, THANK YOU GUYS so much for continuing to read and for your feedback. It's been great <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning....half of this chapter is shameless smut.

The sun was setting by the time she woke up.  
  
She opened her eyes, relishing in the warmth. She pushed the thoughts of the night before, the thoughts of what lied ahead away and let herself feel happy for a few minutes.  
  
She was safe. Her family and her friends were safe.  
  
Bellamy was there.  
  
She could feel the rise and fall of his chest. The warmth of his skin.  
  
And then there was a knock on the door.  
  
She sighed.  
  
After waking Bellamy, she rose to open the door.  
  
"Sorry to wake you" Abby said, standing on the other side. She glanced at Bellamy, a weary look in her eye. "But it's getting pretty late. We need to hold a meeting."  
  
Clarke nodded.  
  
She noticed her mother glance between her and Bellamy before leaving.  
  
"She doesn't like me" Bellamy said while getting dressed.

"She doesn't even know you" Clarke replied, changing out of her sleep clothes. "Once she gets to know you, I'm sure she will."  
  
"Well, I don't know about that. Not everyone likes a 'smirking, asshole king' I believe you said?"  
  
"Shut up" Clarke said, rolling her eyes. But she couldn't stop herself from smiling at the memory.  
  
Once she was ready, she waited for him by the door.  
  
"What are we going to do, Bellamy?" she asked. She had felt at ease when she had woken up, thankful that their plan had worked the night before. But now, her anxiety was tying her stomach in knots. There was still so much to do, so much to figure out.  
  
"Honestly?" he said, opening the door to let her out "I have no fucking idea."  
  
She smiled a little.  
  
"Hey" he said, grabbing her hand when they stood outside of the throne room, "We'll figure it out. Whatever we decide, we'll do it together, okay?"  
  
"Yeah" she said, giving his hand a little squeeze. "Together."  
  
They made their way inside.  
  
"Where are the others?" she asked. She expected the room to be full of people. But instead, only their close group of friends and a few others that had been on their side were there.  
  
"We've told them to stay in their rooms for the time being" Kane said. "I just figured that we needed to talk about everything first."

"Good idea" Bellamy said.  
  
Instead of sitting at their table, they joined the rest of their people at one of the long tables in the center of the room.  
  
"First things first" Bellamy said as soon as everyone was seated. "I'd like to thank all of you for what you have done. I know that...that not all of you agreed to what happened here. I know that some of you came here to find your people."  
  
He looked around at the group gathered before him.  
  
Clarke thought about how angry he'd been, all those months ago, when weapons went missing from the throne room. And then how angry he'd been when Finn stole the dagger.  
  
"I wish that things would have gone differently. If you would have come here in peace, you would have seen that I did not take the hundred, well, the 49, as prisoners. But it happened, and none of us can change that. We can only go from here" he said.  
  
The way he was acting now, compared to how he had been in the beginning made her realize that she wasn't the only person that had changed in the past few months.  
  
He was different.  
  
The others looked around at one another.  
  
"We hope that you know that we sincerely apologize, that we sincerely regret what happened" Kane said from across the table.  
  
"You are not at fault. I understand that some of you were only acting on orders" Bellamy said.

"Be that as it may, we still caused all of this" Kane said, "And we would like to make it up to you. All of us. And we hope that you know that you have our support and that we mean you and your people no harm. We do wish to live in peace among you. And we are grateful for the opportunity to join your clan."  
  
Bellamy nodded.  
  
"We can't bring back the ones you've lost" Kane said, "But we hope to make up for what has been done in any way we can, if you allow us to stay."  
  
Bellamy turned to look at Clarke. She reached forward and took his hand into hers, lacing her fingers through his under the table.  
  
"You are allowed to stay. The castle can't hold this many occupants, but that is a topic we can discuss later. How many people did you leave behind?"  
  
"About three hundred" Kane said, "Give or take a few."  
  
"And these people, are they like your leader?" Octavia asked from a few seats down.  
  
"I'm sure that there are a some that side with him, yes" Kane said.  
  
"And how can we be sure that they won't come here and do as your leader did?" Octavia asked.  
  
"We can't tell you that" Abby said from beside Kane. "We don't know what they might try. But we believe that if they're given the opportunity to come here and live in peace, they won't cause any trouble. A lot of us didn't agree to this. And a lot of the ones that did, did so out of fear. Take that away, show them a different way and they'll bear no ill will. I'm sure of it."

"I agree" Kane said, "A lot of them were acting out of fear. You know about the Ice Nation, what they're like. Take that away and-"  
  
"Fine" Bellamy said, cutting Kane off. "We will send for them. But I would like to go, along with a few of you, and talk to them first. Give them a choice. And make sure they come here with no weapons."  
  
Clarke nodded in agreement. It was what she'd been hoping to hear.  
  
"Thank you" Kane said. "And we will. We'll make sure to gather all the weapons before letting them onto the ship."  
  
"What about the others?" Octavia asked. "What will we do with them?"  
  
Bellamy looked at Clarke.  
  
This time, she had no idea. She wasn't sure what they should do with Pike and his council, his guards. Those who stood firmly on his side.  
  
The whole room went very, very quiet. No one spoke up.  
  
"Can't we just send them back?" Miller asked.  
  
"I agree with Nate" Murphy said, "Just send them back. When you leave to get the others, take them with you and leave them there."  
  
"But what if they figure out a way to come back?" Harper asked. "Do you honestly believe they'll just give up?"

"Well if we take their weapons and everything they own, they won't be able to" Miller said.  
  
"We can't just leave them weaponless" Abby said, "The grounders would kill them all."  
  
"So?" Octavia said, raising an eyebrow. "How many grounders have they killed? And what would they do if the situation was reversed?"  
  
"We can't think like that" Kane said, shaking his head.  
  
"And besides, won't the Commander be pissed if she hears that you sent them back to her land?" Jasper asked.  
  
Everyone began to talk at once, arguing about what was the right thing to do. Clarke's head began to hurt. She looked over at Bellamy. They were the only two with nothing to say.  
  
"Everyone shut up!" Clarke yelled. They weren't getting anywhere.  
  
"Bellamy you can't seriously consider letting them go? They killed so many of us! They need to pay for what they've done! What will our people think of you, if you don't avenge the dead? And besides, the Commander will never forgive you if you send those monsters back! That's just calling for more trouble!" Octavia yelled.  
  
Bellamy sighed, running a hand through his hair.  
  
"I need to think about this" he said, rising to his feet. "Alone."  
  
After that, he left the room. Clarke didn't follow. She knew that he needed some time alone. He was being pulled in different directions from all sides.

He had to think about what was best for his people. What was fair. What was just.  
  
Clarke still had no idea.  
  
A part of her had thought that she wanted revenge.  
  
But thinking about executing all those people in the dungeon didn't feel right. And she knew she could never agree to sending that many people to their deaths.  
  
Not again.  
  
She killed when she had to; when she was fighting to survive. She'd never take a life if there was any other option.  
  
But Abby was right; sending them back weaponless was a death sentence. They might as well execute them here and now.  
  
At the same time, Octavia had made a good point, too. If the Commander found out that Bellamy had sent the Sky People back to her lands, especially with guns, she'd never forgive him and they might be faced with another problem.  
  
Eventually, the group began discussing their options again.  
  
Clarke knew that it was pointless; that really, the final decision was to be made by Bellamy.  
  
He'd been gone for hours.  
  
Clarke thought about all the decisions she'd had to make up until this point. She knew what it was like, having to bear the consequences of the things she'd done so that the others wouldn't have to.

With that in mind, she left the room in search of Bellamy.  
  
She looked in their quarters first, and when she didn't find him there, she searched the castle. Eventually, she found him in the gardens.  
  
It was cold; frost covered every surface. She heard the ice crunching beneath her boots as she made her way to him.  
  
He was sitting on one of the benches, looking up at the clear night sky.  
  
"Hey" she said, sitting down next to him.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Aren't you cold?"  
  
"Yeah" he said, "But I didn't really feel like being inside. Are they still arguing in there?"  
  
"Yeah, they are."  
  
He smiled a little.  
  
They sat in silence for a while. Clarke figured that he didn't need for her to talk; she hoped that her presence alone was enough to remind him that they were in this together.  
  
"No matter what I do" he began, "Someone will be pissed. A part of me just...just wants to kill them all. That would be the easiest option. Get rid of them and be done with it. But I don't think I can... I don't want to be the monster that they think I am."  
  
"Bellamy..."  
  
"I've killed so many people, Clarke. What's another hundred?"  
  
"You don't mean that. That isn't who you are."

"Yeah? And who am I?"  
  
"You're...You're a good person, Bellamy. You are. I've seen it. You've always done what you did to protect your people. Your sister. The ones you care about. That's who you are."  
  
He sighed, looking back up at the sky.  
  
"I can't send them back. I can't keep them here. What would you do?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know" she said. For the first time in her life, she was at a loss.  
  
"Well, thanks. You've been no help at all" he said, smirking at her.  
  
She smiled to herself.  
  
"I think...." he began, "I think I'd like to talk to them. To him."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Pike."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I want to talk to him. Before I decide on anything, I'd like to talk to him first."  
  
"Why?" she asked. Why the hell would he want to talk to Pike?  
  
"I don't really know, honestly. I just want to."  
  
She wasn't sure where this was coming from. Why he'd want to do such a thing. Talking to Pike was the very last thing she wanted to do.

"I'm gonna go" he said, standing up. "Can you tell the others that we'll hold another meeting in a few hours? I just...I need more time to think."  
  
"Okay" she said.  
  
He left after that.  
  
Despite the fact that it was cold, the night sky was so clear, so full of stars, she stayed outside for a few more minutes.  
  
After she told the group to meet back in the throne room in a few hours, she helped out around the castle. There were still a few people that were sick. There were some that had been injured.  
  
And the people that had been told to stay in their rooms needed food, water. She and a few others went around and gave out rations, hoping it would keep them from wandering around the castle.  
  
Eventually, Raven came to tell her that Bellamy was looking for her.  
  
She found him in the throne room, all alone, sitting at their table.  
  
She closed the doors behind her and made her way to him.  
  
"I know that you think that this is up to me" he said after she sat down, "But as I've said, we're in this together. So I'd like to talk to you before we talk to the others."  
  
"Okay" she said, feeling a little nervous.  
  
"I've talked to him. Pike?"  
  
"Yeah, and?"

"I feel like I should hate him, like I should want him dead for what he's done. But in a weird way, I feel like I understand him."  
  
"So what have you decided?"  
  
"I think that I'll let them stay."  
  
"What?" He wanted to let them stay? After everything they'd done?  
  
"Not here, of course. I'll let them and the other Sky People stay. Build a home of their own. Maybe across from the village below us? That way they're close enough for us to keep an eye on them? And I have a few conditions, of course."  
  
"What conditions?"  
  
"No weapons, obviously. All their guns will be kept here and locked away. And we remain their leaders, seeing as I'm the king and you're the queen. But they'd need a leader among them. I believe it should be Kane. What do you think?"  
  
"I think...I think that's a good idea, Bellamy. Really."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" she said.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Why are you doing this? I mean...you were so angry when we lied to you. When the weapons went missing. What brought this on?"

"I met a girl" he said, smiling over at her. "And she reminded me of what life could be like if I chose to see the good in people. If I gave them a chance."  
  
She could feel a slow blush creeping it's way up her chest.  
  
"Who knows? Maybe showing them a different way of life will change their minds. Maybe it'll give them the proof they need that we can live together. Live in peace. I'm just....I'm tired of fighting. I've fought for most of my life. I don't want to live that way anymore. And if I send them back, I'll be fighting with the other clans. The coalition. And if I kill them, I'll be fighting with the ones who will see it as unjust. But if I let them stay, maybe the fighting will end."  
  
Affection for the man he was, the man he'd become washed over her.  
  
_How the hell did I get so lucky?_  
  
She wasn't sure what she'd done to have such a partner; an equal. Someone who would bear the weight of the world with her.  
  
He was the friend she needed.  
  
Someone who lit a match inside the dark parts of her mind and filled her with light.  
  
Someone who gave her hope, who reminded her of all the good things she'd ever seen in her life.  
  
And it all started with him bringing them here and giving them a chance; one random act of kindness.  
  
"I love you" she said before she could stop herself.

"I love you more" he said.  
  
Clarke smiled at him.  
  
"I'm gonna go talk to Pike and the others first. Give them the offer. I'll be back soon" he said. After that, he left and she sat in the throne room alone, thinking about how far they'd come from that first night.

* * *

 

"I have called you back" Bellamy began, now sitting at the head of the table they'd sat at that same evening "Because I have come to a decision."  
  
The room went quiet. All of the eyes in the room were trained on him.  
  
"I'm going to let them stay" Bellamy said.  
  
Everyone was silent; letting the news sink in.  
  
And then, five different people spoke up at once.  
  
Bellamy put his hand up, silencing them.  
  
"I know that this might come as a shock to some of you" he said, "But I have thought about it. And I've talked to almost all of you. And them. I know where everyone stands. But this is my decision; and it's final."  
  
"But what if they try to revolt? Do you honestly believe they'll listen to you?" Octavia said, "Bellamy, you know what they think of us. This will never work!"  
  
"I agree with Octavia" Murphy said, "These aren't the kind of people that will just...give up."  
  
"I'm not asking them to give up" Bellamy said, "And I've talked to them. To Pike. He knows it's over. That this is my kingdom. And he-"  
  
"Are you seriously defending him?" Octavia yelled, glaring at her brother.  
  
"No, of course not. But it's not-" Bellamy began.  
  
"The killed a bunch of grounders, man!" Miller yelled. "You can't trust these people."

"I agree" Jasper said. "I think-"  
  
Clarke slammed her hands down on the table and rose from her chair.  
  
"Everyone shut up!" she yelled, effectively silencing all the people that had begun to talk over one another. "Shut up! He's the king! And you aren't even giving him the opportunity to explain himself. So shut the fuck up and listen."  
  
With that, she sat back down next to Bellamy and gave him an encouraging nod.  
  
He smirked at her, admiration and maybe something like lust in his eye.  
  
"Thank you" he said, biting down on his lip a little.  
  
Clarke had to remind herself that everyone was watching them.  
  
"I am letting them stay. I've talked to Pike and his people. They've agreed to my conditions. They will be staying, along with the rest of you Sky People. I will allow you to build your own village, your own settlement on the land across the village below us. That way, the queen and I will be able to watch over you."  
  
Abby and Kane exchanged a glace. This was the last thing they'd been expecting to hear, if the looks on their faces was anything to go by.  
  
"Bellamy....what about the dead?" Octavia asked.

"They are just as dead as the men I killed to get to where I am, Octavia" Bellamy said. "I am aware that this whole...situation...arose from fear. I understand that the hate rooted in some of the Sky People came from their experiences on the ground. But I am willing to try. I want to show them a different way, a better way. The things I've done are no better than the things they've done. Had the men before me been shown a different way of life, then maybe we wouldn't be in this situation at all."  
  
"In any case, they've agreed to my terms. I will let the Sky People build their own village here in my kingdom. They can live here, with us, as long as the abide by the rules set forth by the queen and I. All the weapons from the Ark will be collected and kept here, under surveillance and protection by our own people" Bellamy said. "Kane, I would like to give you the title of chancellor. My word will be law, but you will act as my second among the Sky People. Will you accept my offer?"  
  
Kane looked a little surprised. He looked over at Abby.  
  
She smiled at him and gave him an encouraging nod.  
  
"It would be my honor" Kane said.  
  
"Then it's settled. All of you will stay. I will send for the rest of your people. The castle can't hold you all, so we will begin building your settlement soon. Tomorrow. My people will help. We will provide assistance, supplies and other necessities until you are able to do so on your own."  
  
"When will you send for the others?" Abby asked. "They aren't safe on the Commanders land. They've been waiting by the sea for too long."  
  
"We leave tonight. I will go, as will a few of my people. Murphy? Miller?"

The two boys nodded in agreement. It made Clarke smile when she realized they were the two he'd refereed to as _his._  
  
"Kane? Abby? Will you join us?" Bellamy asked.  
  
"Of course" Abby said. Kane nodded.  
  
"Alright. Pack your things and meet me back here in one hour. As for the rest of you, give orders to our people to keep the remainder of the Sky People exactly where they are right now; in their rooms. The castle is secured. I'll send for the people that were ushered out. Let them back in. Fill them in on our plans."  
  
After that, he got up and asked to speak to Octavia in private.  
  
Kane, Abby, Miller and Murphy left to pack for the trip.  
  
Clarke wasn't really sure about what she was supposed to do. She wanted to talk to Bellamy before he left, but she knew he and Octavia had things to discuss. She waited patiently in the throne room and half an hour later, the two came back.  
  
"Hey" Octavia said, looking at Raven. "I have a few orders to carry out. Wanna join?"  
  
"Yeah, sure" Raven said, getting up.  
  
Clarke watched the two girls leave the room, smiling as she saw Raven give Octavia a little push on their way out.  
  
"So, I've got a few people preparing some things for the trip. I have a little time, do you want to-" Bellamy began.  
  
"Can I come with you?" Clarke asked, cutting him off.

"What?"  
  
"Can I come?"  
  
"You want to?"  
  
"Yeah" she said.  
  
"Of course. But they're almost ready, so just go pack what you want and-"

But Clarke didn't wait for him to finish. She rose from her seat and ran out of the room, feeling a little ridiculous.  
  
She went to their quarters and found an old bookbag. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to pack, exactly, so she looked around the room for a few minutes. She grabbed her sketchbook and went to her dresser, looking for a change of clothes to bring on the trip.  
  
She packed the clothes and her sketchbook into the bag.  
  
She figured she should also pack something to sleep in, so with that in mind, she opened one of the drawers at the bottom of her dresser and looked through it for something comfortable.  
  
She had just picked up a pair of soft cotton pants when her eyes landed on a piece of black lace sticking out from the very bottom of the pile. She reached forward and took the garment out.  
  
_Should I?_  
  
She remembered the look in his eye when she yelled at everyone. The way he looked at her when they took the castle back.

She stuffed the nightgown into her backpack and slung it over her shoulder.

* * *

 

Despite the cold, the hike to the ship kept her warm.  
  
They'd walked in the darkness with the moon as their only source of light.  
  
"What happened to the guards?" Miller asked once the ship was in view.  
  
"I sent two men to call the guards off" Kane said. "They're in the dungeon now."  
  
The hike was arduous enough to keep them all quiet. They hadn't really discussed what they would tell the people. They hadn't really talked at all.  
  
One by one, the made their way onto the ship. Bellamy had invited three more of his men to join them. They gave the others directions, orders on how to prepare the sails and before they knew it; they were off.  
  
They decide to take turns sleeping, and since she wasn't tired, Clarke decided to stay up with the first group. She'd hoped to get some time alone with Bellamy, but Kane had called him off to discuss something or other.  
  
Clarke stood on one of the elevated decks and watched the horizon, feeling small and maybe a little insignificant compared to the open vastness of the sea.  
  
Eventually, her mother joined her.  
  
"I've got to admit" Abby said, "Of all the things I'd imagined that would happen on the ground...this wasn't one of them."  
  
Clarke smiled at her mother.  
  
"Me neither" she said.

They stood in silence for a little while; a comfortable silence.  
  
"Clarke...I'm sorry" Abby said.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For everything."  
  
"Mom, it's-"  
  
"No, it's not okay. I'm sorry about your father. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner."  
  
Clarke looked over at her mother. She had been so angry when she found out that her mother was behind her father's death. She had been so angry when she realized that her mother let her believe that it had been Wells.  
  
But she was tired of feeling angry.  
  
Sometimes, people make mistakes that spiral into something worse than they had intended. Sometimes, people lie to protect their relationships, their loved ones. And sometimes, they tell the truth for the same reasons.  
  
"It's okay, mom. I know why you did it" she said, placing her hand on top of her mothers.  
  
"I miss him" Abby said.  
  
"I do, too."  
  
"He would have been so proud of you, you know? Everything you've done..."

She wasn't sure if it was true; if her father would have been proud of her. There were still so many things her mother didn't know about.  
  
"Well, I think I'm gonna go get some sleep. You should do the same" Abby said.  
  
"I will."  
  
She gave her mother a kiss goodnight, but stayed on the deck. Watching the sea. Thinking about her father.  
  
She wasn't sure if he'd be proud of who she had become. But she hoped that he would have loved her all the same.

* * *

 

"What are you doing out here? Why aren't you sleeping?" Bellamy asked, walking up to join her on the deck.  
  
"I wasn't really sure which room was mine."  
  
"You're the queen. You can have any room you want" he said.  
  
Clarke smiled at him, shaking her head a little. She was glad that despite everything that had happened, things seemed _normal_ between them. They fell into a comfortable silence, watching the water as Clarke thought about how much she had missed the easy flow of their relationship; the teasing.  
  
"When are you going to bed?" she asked.  
  
"Now, I guess. Are you ready?"  
  
"Is that an invitation?" she said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
His eyes dropped to her lips for a second before he looked away.  
  
"Yeah" he said, "It is."  
  
All traces of the playfulness with which they'd begun the conversation disappeared.  
  
She swallowed a little thickly before nodding.  
  
She grabbed her backpack and followed him. He led the way down the stairs, taking her in the opposite direction of the room she'd stayed in on her journey to his kingdom.

The walked until they reached a door at the end of the hall. He opened it and walked inside, holding the door open for her.  
  
She walked in and glanced around the room. It wasn't very big. There was a bed in one corner. The other side was lined with shelves. She noticed his pack by the base of the bed.  
  
An old lantern stood on the middle shelf, lighting the room with a dim glow.  
  
"Is this your room?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah" he said from behind her.  
  
She felt a little nervous. The air felt a little thick.  
  
She couldn't recall the last time they'd been alone in such a small space.  
  
She heard him getting ready for bed, taking his shoes off and undoing his jacket.  
  
Grabbing her bookbag, she stood there a little awkwardly as she thought about what she should do. The confidence she'd felt in the room when she packed the nightgown had dwindled. She wasn't sure how to go about the situation. They hadn't really had much time alone since everything had happened.  
  
"Why are you just standing there?" he said, pulling her from her thoughts.  
  
She looked up and realized that he had already gotten in bed. He was staring at her, standing in the middle of the room; clutching her backpack.  
  
"Oh..um.." she said, shaking her head. "Can you turn around?"

Whatever she was going to do, she was sure that she didn't want him to watch her struggle with herself.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Sorry" he said, turning so that his back was to her.  
  
She stared at his back; his broad shoulders and the little freckles sprinkled all over his tan skin.  
  
She put the backpack down and took the nightgown out. Her hands shook a little. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.  
  
Once she'd taken her clothes off, she put the nightgown on.  
  
She'd forgotten just how revealing it was.  
  
It was short and black, stopping halfway down her thighs. The material was light and silky, patches of lace exposing her skin. The neckline plunged so far she could almost see her naval. And it was a lot tighter than she thought it'd be; sticking to her skin, which looked paler than ever, bits of it exposed due to the lace.  
  
_Oh god._  
  
_What now?_  
  
She stood in the center of the room; unsure about what to do next.  
  
"What the hell is taking you so-" he said, turning around. But whatever he was going to say after that died in his throat as he saw her standing there.  
  
She watched as he swallowed the words down, looking at her from top to bottom, eyes lingering on her breasts and her naked legs.

Her heart hammered in her chest.  
  
_Oh god._  
  
She watched him watching her, growing hotter and hotter by the second.  
  
"Come here" he said, moving so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed.  
  
The authority in his voice sent a chill down her spine. She took a few short steps towards him, stopping when she stood between his legs.  
  
He placed his hands on her hips, running his eyes up and down her body again.  
  
He pulled her closer and licked his lips.  
  
Clarke bit down on her bottom lip, the anticipation making her heart beat so fast she was sure that he could hear it hammering in her chest.  
  
He placed his lips on the exposed skin in the plunge of her nightgown, kissing up and up her sternum until he reached the top of her left breast.  
  
His hands traveled from her hips to her ass, grabbing it and pulling her body closer to his until she was pressed against him.  
  
She let out a little needy moan when he placed his lips over her nipple, biting down on it through the thin fabric.  
  
She put a hand on his shoulder, her fingernails digging into his skin, urging him on.  
  
"B-Bellamy" she huffed.

At that, he rose, making her take a step back and grab his arm to steady her self.  
  
He brought his head down to hers, crushing their lips together.  
  
It was rough and fast, just like how they'd kissed the first time. Hunger clawed in her chest, pushing her forward and making her kisses wet and messy.  
  
He put his hands back on her ass and lifted her until she could wrap her legs around him. After that he turned on the spot and placed her down on the bed.  
  
And he was right on top of her, filling the air around her with his scent and the heat of his skin. He ran his hands up and down her body, moving his lips from hers so that he could kiss her jaw; her neck.  
  
Clarke felt like all her senses had gone into overdrive; every single nerve felt like it had been lit on fire. There were so many things she wanted to do with her hands, her lips.  
  
She settled for running her hands through his hair first, giving it a little tug when she felt his teeth bite down on the sensitive skin on her neck.  
  
He lifted himself off of her, hovering above her on his knees. And for a few moments he didn't do anything besides look at her, lying under him.  
  
He put a hand on each knee, running them up the sides of her body, watching as she bit down on her lip.  
  
"Fuck, you look so..." he said, grabbing her breasts and giving them a squeeze. "So fucking good."

He grabbed the fabric covering her breasts and tore the gown right down the middle.  
  
"My nightgown" Clarke gasped.  
  
He bent down until he was on top of her again, until they were chest to chest.  
  
"I'll buy you another" he said, grinding his hips into her and kissing at her neck again. "Right now I just want to fuck you."  
  
Clarke let out another moan as he placed his mouth over her nipple. He pinched the other while she squirmed beneath him, desperate for some sort of friction.  
  
"Be patient" he mumbled, "You don't know how long I've waited for this."  
  
At that, she crossed her legs behind his back and placed both hands on his shoulders. She used all her strength to shove him off of her and get him on his back.  
  
" _You_ don't know how long _I've_ waited for this" she said, sitting on top of him, straddling his hips between her thighs.  
  
She took what was left of the nightgown off and brought her lips back onto his. The feeling of his tongue in her mouth made her grind her hips against his, feeling him grow hard at the friction.  
  
She moved her lips from his and kissed his jaw, something she'd wanted to do for a long, long time. She bit and sucked at his neck, and the little sighs and groans he was making turned her on and suddenly she couldn't wait anymore; she got off him and dragged his pants off of his hips.

She didn't wait a second before getting back on top of him once he was naked. She moved, grinding down on him, spreading the wetness that had gathered between her thighs onto him.  
  
He groaned again, putting his hands on her hips and pushing her down onto him harder than before.  
  
He took one hand off of her hip and grabbed his cock, holding it in place so she could sink down onto it.  
  
They moaned at the same time when it went all the way in. She rose to her knees and came back down a second later, setting the pace. He kept his hands on her hips as she adjusted until she could comfortably ride him.  
  
He grabbed her breasts again, and she brought her hands up to put them over his.  
  
She picked the pace up, sinking down on him harder and faster than before.  
  
He trailed a hand from her breast down her stomach and pressed his thumb to her clit, rubbing it while she grew tighter and tighter.  
  
"You feel so good" he said, "So fucking good."  
  
She bent down to kiss him but he stopped her, the hand on her chest keeping her upright.  
  
"No" he said, "No, I wanna see you. I wanna watch you come."  
  
He pressed his thumb deeper into her flesh, rubbing small circles into it while she continued to ride him.

She felt her muscles coil, ready to spring free at any second. One last sweep of his thumb and she finally felt the release she'd been craving. She spasmd around him, to turned on to stop herself from moaning.  
  
He pushed into her, riding her through her orgasm before stopping and getting her on her back.  
  
"Your turn" she said, smiling at him. "Now I wanna watch you."  
  
He placed himself into the space between her knees, placing her legs over his thighs.  
  
Her laced his fingers through hers and brought her hands up over her head as his pushed into her, keeping his eyes glued to hers.  
  
This time, he set the pace. Slowly pulling all the way out before pushing back into her.  
  
He kissed at her neck, something she realized turned her on a lot more than she thought it did.  
  
"Harder" she said.  
  
"Yeah?" he mumbled.  
  
"Mhmm"  
  
He picked up the pace, bring a hand down to her breast, palming it in his large hand.  
  
She could feel her muscles straining again, every thrust bringing her closer to the edge.  
  
"Harder" she said again.

He lifted his head to look at her, a naughty smile playing at his lips.  
  
"Whatever the queen commands" he said, giving her a kiss she could only describe as filthy, all tongue and teeth.  
  
He leaned back on his knees, grabbing her hips and lifting them a little. He pushed into her again, and this time his hips snapped into hers so hard she heard the bed creak in protest with each thrust.  
  
"Oh my god" she said, her voice shaking.  
  
The grip he had on her hips pulled her in to meet each thrust.  
  
He let go of one side to stick two fingers into her mouth. She moaned and bit and sucked until he pulled them out and placed them back on her clit, rubbing it harder and harder.  
  
The warmth and the pressure of his fingers on her sent her over the edge and her orgasm washed over her in waves.  
  
"Bellamy" she kind of yelled.  
  
He placed his hand back on her hips and continued to fuck her in earnest, feeling her clench around him.  
  
A few more thrusts and he came inside of her.  
  
She ran her hands through his hair and brought his lips down to hers, feeling him throb inside of her.

He pulled out and she felt his cum slowly drip out of her.  
  
"Fuck" he sighed, laying down next to her on his back. "That was..."  
  
"I know" she said, smiling to herself.  
  
They laid side by side for a few minutes, getting control of their breathing and letting their sweaty bodies cool off.  
  
Eventually he got up to find something to clean up with.  
  
He wiped her down before cleaning himself and getting back into the bed, not even bothering to put his clothes on.  
  
She turned on her side, knowing that he'd turn and put an arm around her.  
  
He did.  
  
"I've noticed you like sleeping like this" he said from behind her, "Why?"  
  
"I don't know" she said, "I guess it just makes me feel safe."  
  
He pressed his body closer to hers.  
  
"I knew it" he whispered. "I knew you'd wear it for me."

* * *

 

Some hours later, the persistent knock on their door woke her from her slumbers.  
  
She untangled herself from the mess of limbs and found something to cover herself with. She turned to look at Bellamy, who was still fast asleep, to make sure that he was covered before opening the door.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, still a little groggy from sleep.  
  
"Sorry to disturb you" Murphy said, a smirk on his face, "But I was told to summon you two. We're almost there."  
  
"What?" From what she could remember, it had taken them almost a day and a half to make the journey. "How?"  
  
"Well, that sometimes happens when you sleep for fourteen hours" Murphy said, turning to go.  
  
_Holy shit._  
  
She hadn't meant to sleep for so long.  
  
"Bellamy" she said, "Bellamy wake up."  
  
He groaned.

"What?"  
  
"Apparently we've overslept. We're almost there" she said, turning to look for her clothes.  
  
"Shit" Bellamy said, sitting up. "How long have I been asleep?"  
  
"Fourteen hours, according to Murphy."

He got out of bed and looked for his own clothes.  
  
Clarke got dressed and waited for him.  
  
"Hurry up" she said, watching him lazily put his pants on.  
  
"Always so damn bossy" he said as he laced his boots up.  
  
She rolled her eyes.  
  
When he was finally ready, she turned to open the door. But as soon as she opened it, he placed a hand on it and shut it again.  
  
"Bellamy, what-" she started to say, turning to face him.  
  
But he grabbed her hips and pushed her against the door, pressing his body into hers.  
  
"Such a hurry to leave?" he mumbled against her neck.  
  
"Yes b-because we have more important things to do" she said. But she tilted her head to the side, giving him better access to her neck.  
  
"Yes but this is much more fun" he said, squeezing her hips. "Wouldn't you agree?"  
  
He let go of her hip and brought it down to run his hand over her center.  
  
And despite the fact that her pants formed a barrier between his hand and her flesh, she rocked into it, feeling herself getting wet.  
  
"Bellamy" she whined.

"Sorry darling" he said, moving his hand away, "But we have to go."  
  
He pushed her aside and opened the door, walking out without another glance at her.  
  
"You fucking asshole!" she yelled after him.

* * *

After giving herself a few minutes to calm down, she joined the others on the deck.  
  
The smug look on Bellamy's face kind of made her want to slap him.  
  
"We're almost there" Miller said from beside her.  
  
She looked towards the shore, and sure enough, she could see land in the distance.  
  
The night she'd had with Bellamy, the sex and the teasing had made it easy for her to forget about what lied ahead.  
  
But now she grew serious. She turned to look at Bellamy, noticing that he'd grown more somber.  
  
"We'll talk to them" she said, walking over to stand beside him. "They'll understand."  
  
"I hope so" he said.  
  
After that, all they had to do was wait.  
  
Clarke grew impatient. And hungry.  
  
She made her way to the room she'd been in her first time on the ship, hoping there'd be food.  
  
She wasn't disappointed.

Eventually a few of the others joined her. After they brought the rest of the Sky People in, they wouldn't get to come here. It'd be too crowded.  
  
"Bellamy" Murphy said in between bites of food, "You've gotta a little something" he said, pointing at his neck.  
  
"What?" Bellamy asked, his hand going to his neck.  
  
Clarke stifled the giggle that had rose in her throat. She bit down on her lip to keep herself from smiling, noticing the faint bruise like mark on the side of Bellamy's neck.  
  
"Oh...uh" Bellamy mumbled, finally realizing what Murphy had pointed out.  
  
Kane coughed a little awkwardly.  
  
Clarke was grateful that Abby hadn't joined them yet.  
  
After everyone had gone back to eating, she risked a peek at him. He was sitting right beside her, but she didn't turn. She peeked at him from the corners of her eyes.  
  
He turned and caught her gaze a second before she looked away.  
  
Abby and the rest of their group joined them. Miller told them some ridiculous story about a man on the Ark. Something about demons.  
  
Clarke risked another peek, glancing at Bellamy while the others were busy discussing Miller's ridiculous story.  
  
"Stop that" Bellamy said, lowering his voice so that only she heard him.

"Stop what?" she asked, her voice innocent. She bat her eyelashes at him a few times, feigning confusion.  
  
"Stop looking at me like that" he whispered.  
  
"Yeah?" she said, biting down on her lip. Fighting a smile. "Or what?"  
  
"Or" he began, turning his head so that his lips were covered by her hair. "Or I'll make all of them leave and fuck you on this table."  
  
The playful smile vanished from her lips; his words making her ache.  
  
He turned his attention back to the group, pretending like he'd been listening all along.  
  
Clarke crossed her legs, trying to listen in on the conversation and not think about what he had just said.

* * *

 

"You should let us go first" Kane said.  
  
They were close enough to the shore now, Clarke could see a large group of people gathered by the edge of the woods, watching the ship.  
  
Some of them looked hopeful, while the others looked scared.  
  
"Okay" Bellamy said.  
  
After that, Kane and Abby got off the ship and went to meet the group.  
  
They were far enough from the ship that Clarke couldn't hear what they were saying; how much they were telling the group that had gathered on the shore.  
  
The group was more versatile than she had expected. There were more kids than she'd anticipated.  
  
Kane and Abby talked to the group for about half an hour. Clarke could see a few people in the crowd come forward to ask questions.  
  
But eventually, the group broke up and started piling their supplies, their weapons into a pile on the shore.  
  
Clarke glanced over at Bellamy, feeling more hopeful than she had been the entire trip.  
  
After another twenty minutes, Kane whistled and Bellamy took that as his cue to join the crowd, to talk to them.  
  
"Do you want to come with me?" he asked Clarke as he prepared to go down the ladder strung over the side of the ship.

"No, I trust you to handle yourself" she said.  
  
He rolled his eyes at her before leaving.  
  
She smiled to herself, letting herself relish in the hope that had washed over her. It was what she had been hoping for; the rest of the Sky People seemed to be agreeing to their terms, accepting their offer.  
  
Clarke watched Bellamy talk to the group from her vantage point on the deck. Whatever he was saying must have been compelling enough, because before she knew it, it was time to go.  
  
The next few hours passed by quickly. Clarke and the others helped the children get onto the ship first. After that, they loaded the supplies that the Sky People had scavenged from the Ark. And then the weapons were brought up to the ship and locked away in one of the rooms. And finally, the rest of the group joined.  
  
It was a tight fit, but they managed to get everyone on board.  
  
When they were finally ready to sail away, Clarke had to push through the crowd to look for her friends. There were people everywhere, making it impossible for her not to run into them.  
  
Eventually she spotted Bellamy, but he looked busy. He and Kane were talking to a few of the people that had joined them.  
  
She decided to go to their room. The overcrowded ship was starting to make her feel a little claustrophobic.

She realized that her days and her nights had been switched; she'd been up the past few nights and spent her days sleeping. She decided that she'd have to stay awake the entire trip back, if she wanted to get her sleeping schedule in order again.  
  
She spent a few hours reading, hoping that Bellamy would show up so she could do something more productive with her time.  
  
But he didn't.  
  
After what felt like hours, she went in search of him again.  
  
She found him in same room they'd had their meal; surrounded by Sky People. And they weren't shying away from him. In fact, all of them had gave him their full attention, listening as he explained how things in the Badlands worked.  
  
Clarke watched him from the corner. The room was crowded, people were standing by the walls, sitting on the floor. But she felt a little mesmerized, watching him talk to such a large group of people.  
  
They continued to ask him questions, and he continued to answer.  
  
Eventually, she decided to leave. They'd spend time together once they got home; now, his relationship with the others was a little more important than giving Clarke his undivided attention.  
  
She found her mother on the deck and decided to spend a little time with her and the group of people gathered around.  
  
Clarke greeted her neighbors, her peers and her acquaintances.

They all had questions. _What happened? How did you get there? Was so-and-so alive? Why? Where? How? What? When?_  
  
Clarke felt like her tongue would dry up and fall off; that's how much talking she did. But every time she wanted to snap, she reminded herself of how important this was. How the least she could do was answer their questions.  
  
She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she finally got the chance to sneak off and make her way back to Bellamy's room.  
  
She felt a little drained, but she stayed awake. She found an old book on one of the shelves and spent the next few hours reading.  
  
When she heard a knock on her door, she practically ran to the door.  
  
"Hey" Bellamy said, standing on the other side. "I was hoping I'd find you here."  
  
She moved out of the way to let him in and he flopped down on the bed.  
  
She sat down next to him.  
  
"I can't stay long" he said, running a hand down her back.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I have a few more things to attend to. I'm supposed to meet Kane and some guy named Sinclair on the deck in fifteen minutes. I just came by to check on you."

"Oh, well. I'm fine. Just trying to stay awake to get back on a regular sleeping schedule."  
  
"I know things are a little hectic now" he said, "But I promise I'll make a little time for you once we get home."  
  
"Wow" she said, rolling her eyes at him. "Thank you so much."  
  
"Shut up" he said, poking her in the side. "You know what I mean."

She smiled at him before laying down on her back.  
  
"So what do you think?" she asked.  
  
"Well, it might be too soon to tell...but they don't seem that bad. I mean, they're all being civil so I guess we're off to a good start? And none of them have tried to kill me yet so I'll take that as a good sign?"  
  
"Yeah" she said, laughing a little. "That is a good sign."  
  
He turned on his side, putting a hand on her stomach. He looked at her for a few minutes before slowly dragging his hand down.  
  
"No" she said, grabbing his hand once he'd reached the top of her pants. "Don't even think about it."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Because I know what you're trying to do. You said you only had a fifteen minutes. Now you probably only have five. And you're just trying to tease me before you leave."

"And you don't like that? Me teasing you?"  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
"Really? Than why'd you tease me earlier?"  
  
"That's different!"  
  
"Yeah?" he said, scooting over to place his lips on her neck. "How so?"  
  
"I-I was just looking at you" she said, stuttering a little when he bit her ear.  
  
"Yes but it was the way you were looking at me. It drives me a little mad, you know?"  
  
Clarke closed her eyes, feeling the heat gather in her belly.  
  
It was a little embarrassing; how turned on she'd already gotten by that point.  
  
"I have a few minutes" he said, kissing her neck again. "Let me touch you."  
  
_Ugh._  
  
"O-okay" she said, letting go of his hand and spreading her legs a little.  
  
He didn't wait a second before unbuttoning her pants and sticking his hand in her underwear.  
  
"Someone's a little turned on" he said, feeling how wet she was.  
  
"Shut up" she said, focusing on the way his fingers lazily traced up and down her folds.  
  
"You like that?" he asked.

"Mhmm" she mumbled, wishing he'd hurry up and stop teasing her.  
  
When he slid a finger inside of her, she gasped a little and gripped his bicep.  
  
"B-Bellamy" she whispered as he took the finger out and pushed it back in.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"More"  
  
"Okay" he said, giving her another finger.  
  
"Faster" she sighed. Her breaths were becoming rapid and shallow; her muscles growing rigid.  
  
"You know" he mumbled in her ear, his voice deep and gravely "When I saw you that night, the night you took the castle back? You looked so....so fucking good. So strong, standing in front of all those people with that gun in your hand."  
  
He slid his fingers out and brought them up to her clit, rubbing it gently at first.  
  
"I don't think I'd ever been so turned on by you, than when I saw you that night. It took all of my strength, all of my will not to fuck you right then and there."  
  
He pressed down harder, going faster and faster.  
  
"And last night? With that nightgown? Fuck. You ruined me."  
  
He kissed her, biting down on her lower lip before shoving his tongue into her mouth.  
  
She came with his name on her lips.  
  
"See?" he said afterwards, "I didn't tease you. I'm growing as a person."

* * *

 

She didn't see him for the rest of the trip.  
  
But as much as she'd wanted to, she knew they both had more important things to worry about.  
  
When they reached land, Clarke was surprised to find out that about 150 people would be staying on the ship.  
  
"It'll provide shelter" Kane said, "There's a source of fresh water near by. They'll have food. Bellamy's men will stay with them. Most of them are either too young, too old or too weak to help. So we'll keep them here until we build homes of our own."  
  
"The rest of you" Bellamy yelled from the front of the group, "Will be brought to the castle. I will let you rest first, but we will begin building homes as soon as possible. My people will help. Shelter is the first necessity we will tackle."  
  
The trip back was a little difficult, due to the cold. But excitement was in the air. It seemed like the Sky People had finally accepted the fact that this place was real. That they wouldn't have to fight to survive any longer.  
  
When they finally, finally reached the castle, Clarke felt like she would collapse at any minute.  
  
The ones who had stayed behind greeted them. The new group was ushered inside. They would be sharing rooms with the people who already resided in the castle. But since there were so many large rooms in the first place, they wouldn't be too crammed.  
  
Clarke had managed to stay up, and since it was well into the night, she decided to go to bed, leaving the others.

She looked around for Bellamy, but again, he looked busy. Deep into a conversation with Abby, Kane and Sinclair.  
  
Clarke went to their room. She forced herself to take her clothes off, to put on something more comfortable before crawling into the bed and getting under the covers.  
  
She fell asleep in minutes.  
  
When she woke up the next morning, she was alone.  
  
She ran a hand down the side that Bellamy slept on. It was cold. Had he come to bed at all?  
  
She sat up and looked around, trying to decide what time it was.  
  
And then she saw him, sitting at his desk, his back to her.  
  
She crawled out of bed and came up behind him.  
  
"Good morning" she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
  
"Good morning" he said. He reached behind him to run a hand down her leg. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Yeah" she said, "Did you sleep at all?"  
  
She looked at the papers on his desk. The looked to be drawings of some sort. Long rectangular cabins, it looked like.  
  
"Yeah. I did."

"What this?"  
  
"The first thing we're going to build. Well, first they've got to cut down the trees. Use that wood to make these" he said, pointing at the cabins. "Just a few big cabins so that they'll have some place to stay while we build their homes."  
  
"Sounds like a good idea" she said. "When do you start?"  
  
"We're leaving soon."  
  
"We?"  
  
"I'm going with them. I'm going to help" he said.  
  
"You're the king. Don't you have more important things to do?"  
  
"I need to be there. And no, I don't have more important things to do. Unless you're offering?"  
  
"Shut up" she said, shaking her head. She let go of him and went to the bathroom.  
  
When she came back out, he was getting dressed.  
  
"Do you want to come with us?" he said.  
  
"As appealing as the idea of chopping wood in the cold is, I'm gonna have to decline" she said, smiling at him.  
  
"So you're too good to chop wood for your people?"

"I am the queen, after all."  
  
He smiled at her and took a few steps to close the distance between them.  
  
"Yes, you are" he said, placing a hand on her jaw. He tilted her head up and brought his lips down to hers.  
  
She lost herself in the kiss for a few minutes, ignoring all of the things that they still had to take care of.  
  
"I have to go" he said, finally pulling away.  
  
"Come back soon" she said.  
  
After he left, Clarke made her way to the throne room.  
  
When she ran into familiar faces, people who had been ushered out of the castle when Pike came, she stopped to greet them.  
  
And to her surprise, they were understanding.  
  
She apologized, over and over, for what had happened. But almost every single person told her that they _understood_ , that it was okay.  
  
In the throne room, she ate with her friends. They talked about what happened; about where they'd go from here.  
  
Eventually, almost everyone in their group got up to leave.  
  
"Where are all of you going?" Clarke asked.  
  
"We're going to help" Octavia said.

"Wanna come?" Raven asked, "They need all the help they can get."  
  
"I'll pass" Clarke said. _Why is everyone so eager to chop wood? To build homes?_ Maybe they wanted the others out as soon as possible. Either way, Clarke decided to stay. She figured that she'd done more than her fair share of work the past few days.  
  
She was glad to see that Octavia and Raven had worked through whatever problems they were having, watching them walk out of the throne room hand in hand.  
  
She decided to head back to her own room. She wanted some time alone.  
  
She spent a few hours in her quarters. Relaxing in bed, reading on the loveseat. The past few days had been so hectic, she still couldn't wrap her mind around all that had happened.  
  
She laid around, thinking about the past few days. Starting with Pike's attack and ending with her night with Bellamy.  
  
And somehow, everything just felt _right_. Like it was all supposed to happen.  
  
She still felt guilty about what she did. And not only to the people of the castle, but all the other people she'd hurt in her life.  
  
And she knew that she would never forget about the things she'd done since she'd come to the ground. The people she killed would stay with her.  
  
But she thought about Bellamy. About Abby. About Raven and all of her other friends. They would be there to remind her of all the reasons she'd never stop fighting.

They'd be there to remind her that despite everything she'd done, despite the person she'd had to become; she was loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any mistakes or grammatical errors. Honestly, I'm still new to this writing fanfic thing, especially smut. But I hope that it was okay. I hope it made up for some of the angst and cliffhangers I've subjected you guys to.
> 
> Thank you guys for continuing to read my little fic. There is ONE chapter left. 
> 
> I have started a new fic. If this is something that you enjoyed, maybe you will like my new one? It's another enemies to friends to lovers because I'm a sucker for that trope. You can find it under my works, or search 'Don't Look Back, You're Not Going That Way'. I hope to see you guys over there!
> 
> Also, how about that trailer? WHO'S EXCITED? I might work in that little hand nuzzle into the last chapter of this fic because IT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. Anyway, thanks for reading. You can find me on tumblr (and-so-we-meet-again.tumblr.com) and fangirl with me.


	10. Chapter 10

They started building the settlement faster than Clarke thought was possible. It all began in the small clearing near the village that resided below the castle. They began by cutting the trees down and using the lumber to make cabins.  
  
To Clarke's surprise, the grounders in the castle and the village were willing to help.  
  
Seeing all those people put aside their differences and offer their assistance inspired Clarke.  
  
She decided to do what she could to help. She was the queen, after all. She had to set a good example. Some of others would look to her.  
  
Seeing her and Bellamy working alongside the others gave the remaining Sky People the courage and inspiration they needed to start working with the grounders. Together, they built the settlement from the ground up.  
  
After the first two months, Bellamy had left the castle to visit the other villages in their kingdom to ask for assistance and check on the others. Since the winter had not fully passed, they needed as much help as possible.  
  
Clarke was at their new settlement, named Camp Jaha courtesy of Kane and Sinclair, one early March afternoon when she heard someone walking towards her.

She looked up from her position on the cold ground. Octavia had showed her how to weave fishing nets from old rope. She was making her third net; she had decided to give them to the Sky People as a present so that they could take them to the river and fish when the weather warmed up.  
  
She was a little surprised when she saw Pike.  
  
They hadn't talked at all in the two months since everything had happened.  
  
"Those look good" he said.  
  
"Thanks" she said, going back to weaving the net. It still made her uncomfortable, being in his presence, despite everything Bellamy had said. Some days she still felt a little surprised by his decision.  
  
"Look, I know-" he began. But he stopped to sigh. And instead of going on, he sat down across from her and grabbed the other side of the net to work on it.  
  
"I know that what we did...what I did is unforgivable. I don't blame you for hating me" he said.  
  
"Good" Clarke said.  
  
"But I'm trying, okay? You have to understand...I-I was a teacher. I never actually thought I'd be on the ground."  
  
"So? I was just a student."  
  
"Yes, Clarke. You were. And a good one, at that. I'm not trying to justify my actions. I did what I did. And now I have to live with it. I'm not asking for your forgiveness" he said.

"Then what are you asking for?"  
  
"Nothing. I just wanted you to know that" he said.  
  
"Bellamy let you stay. That's more than any of you deserve. Saying sorry doesn't change anything" she said, thinking about all the things she'd never get to apologize for. "The only thing we can do now is move forward and try to be better than we were yesterday."  
  
He nodded and after that, they stopped talking and made four more nets.  
  
The anger at Pike, at Byrne, at Monty's mother and all those people who followed them had dwindled in the two months that had passed.  
  
There were still nights where arguments and sometimes even fights would break out in the throne room or down at Camp Jaha. Clarke had thought they would never end. But every single week, there were less than the week before. She had to believe that they would all end, eventually. But she understood that it would take time to get there.  
  
Bellamy had kept control of the anger that lingered underneath his calm exterior. She'd get a glimpse of it sometimes, like when he'd go on a rant in the middle of a conversation or grip her hips tighter than usual when they went to bed.  
  
But every morning he'd get up and do what he could to help. He got to know the people he'd taken under his wing, and they got to know him. To Clarke's surprise, he talked to Pike. And one night she was pretty sure she saw the two of them laughing about something.  
  
And every time she asked about it, he always said the same thing.

"Someone once told me that we do what we must to survive and the enemy does the same. That it isn't personal" he'd say.  
  
"And who told you that? An enemy?" she asked.  
  
"Not exactly" he said, a smile on his face.  
  
However, not everyone agreed. A few people were still uncomfortable with the whole situation; understandably so. Octavia was at the top of that list.  
  
No words from Bellamy or Raven could convince the girl otherwise.  
  
Sometimes Clarke would see her watching one of the Sky People with such anger, such hatred in her eyes that Clarke would start to feel a little uneasy. But no matter how many times Octavia reached for her sword....she never pulled it from it's sheath.  
  
Finn had left.  
  
Clarke hadn't talked to him since their conversation in her room. She heard from Raven that he went back to the village Bellamy had sent him to the first time. He said it was because he didn't belong with them anymore.  
  
She was grateful for it; for not having to look at him anymore. Because every time she did, she'd think about how much he had changed. How he had gone from an adventurer, a peacemaker to a selfish coward.  
  
She thought about how much coming to the ground had changed the people around her. The way it made some of them better; like Kane and Murphy and Raven. And how it made others worse; like Finn and Pike and maybe even her.

She still wasn't sure if she liked the person she was. On the Ark, everything was black and white. You were either a criminal or not. Alive or dead. That was it.  
  
Things were different on earth.  
  
But she hoped that Finn would find peace. Maybe even happiness. Eventually.  
  
Clarke looked around, watching the grounders and the Sky People work together. _It made people nicer_ , she thought, _trying to achieve a common goal_. It brought people together.  
  
She wasn't sure what would happen once everything settled. How the people would get along. But they'd have their home; a safe place for those who came from the sky.  
  
It was more than she could hope for.  
  
Clarke left earlier than usual. She was tired.  
  
But more importantly, Bellamy was coming home.  
  
"Hey" Octavia said, walking up beside her. "Leaving so soon?"  
  
"Bellamy's coming home tonight, right?" Raven asked from Clarke's other side.  
  
"Wanna get all nice and pretty? Is that it?" Octavia teased.  
  
Clarke rolled her eyes but couldn't help the smile that spread across her face.  
  
"Yeah, that's it. Isn't it? Gotta get cute for your husband?" Raven said.  
  
"Shut up" Clarke said. "Why are you two leaving?"  
  
"We have plans tonight" Raven said.

"Do I even want to know what that means?" Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh shut up" Raven said, punching Clarke in the arm.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"There's going to be a meteor shower" Octavia said. "A big one. We're going to watch it along with a few others."  
  
"Thanks for inviting me" Clarke said.  
  
"We just figured that you and Bellamy had.... _other_ things in mind. He has been gone for like a week, right?" Raven said.  
  
This time, Clarke punched her.  
  
"What?" Raven exclaimed in between bursts of laughter.  
  
"Well, you're invited. We're gonna leave just before the sun sets" Octavia said.  
  
They joked about sex and stars on their way back to the castle.  
  
Once in her room, Clarke decided to take a bath to wash off all the sweat and dirt from her day outside.  
  
And since all she had to do was wait, after scrubbing her skin and hair she filled the tub back up with fresh water and some of the sweet smelling bath soap she'd gotten. She searched through Bellamy's things until she found a book she wanted to read and got back in the tub.

Eventually, she heard someone come into her room.  
  
"Clarke?" she heard Bellamy yell.  
  
Warmth rushed through her. It had only been a week, but she had missed him. Just hearing the sound of his voice made her smile.  
  
"I'm in here!" she yelled, setting the book on the floor.  
  
After a few minutes he opened the door and leaned against the door frame.  
  
"Hey" he said, smiling at her.  
  
"Hey"  
  
"Miss me?" he asked, smirking at her.  
  
"Not really" she said, "It was kind of nice actually. I had the whole bed to myself. You weren't there to hog the blanket."  
  
"Ouch" he said, smiling at her as he took his clothes off. "Mind if I join?"  
  
"I guess not."  
  
She slid forward, giving him room to get in behind her. After he was in, she leaned back onto him while he brought his arms around her waist.  
  
"I did miss you" he said, placing his chin on her shoulder. "I have no idea why" he slowly ran his hands up from her stomach to her chest. "Well, actually I can think of a few reasons."

"Wow. Always so charming" she said, rolling her eyes but smiling all the same.  
  
"I'm all about the fairytale" he said, placing a small kiss on her neck.  
  
"I can tell" she said, turning her head so that she could finally kiss him. "How was your trip?"  
  
"Good" he said, leaning back into the tub. "Quite a few people are coming to help. Not just yet though. They'll be here in about two weeks when the weather warms up a little."  
  
"That's great, Bellamy."  
  
"Yeah, it is."  
  
She leaned back into him and they spent a few minutes in comfortable silence; relishing in the presence of one another.  
  
But then his hands slid a little further and the kisses on her neck became longer.  
  
When she had enough of the teasing, she turned around and climbed into his lap. He kept a hand in her hair they way he'd learned she liked. She kissed his neck and moaned into his ear the way she knew drove him a little crazy.  
  
Afterwards, he lathered her hair with the soap that smelled like lavender. The one she knew was his favorite. When they were finally clean, they left the room in search of warm clothing.  
  
"There's a meteor shower tonight" Clarke said, putting one of his soft shirts on. "A few people are going out to watch it. Do you want to go?"

"Yeah" Bellamy said, "Sure."  
  
"So" Clarke began, turning to look for a pair of pants. "My mother started taking the implants out of some of the woman who wanted to get rid of them" she said, finding a little hard to look at him, "Since we've begun to build Camp Jaha and they've accepted that they're safe and staying here."  
  
"Yeah?" he said from the other side of the room. She could feel his eyes on her.  
  
"I've been helping her..."  
  
"Well that's good" he said.  
  
"Should...I mean....you said you wanted kids, right?" she asked, finally turning to face him.  
  
"I did. And I do. Do you?"  
  
"Well, yeah."  
  
He walked over and grabbed her hand, leading her to the loveseat they kept in their room.  
  
He sat down and pulled her into his lap.  
  
"So what are you saying?" he asked.  
  
"Should I do it, too? Take the implant out?"  
  
"It's your body, Clarke. You can do with it what you want."

"Wow, thanks. Great advice. You really cleared that up" she said, rolling her eyes but smiling at him.  
  
"What I mean is...of course I want kids" he said, placing his hands on her hips. "But we have our whole lives ahead of us. There's still so much we haven't done. So much we haven't talked about. There are so many things I don't know about you. I want to get to know you. So far, our marriage has mostly consisted of us being mad at one another or trying to fix the problems between our people. I want to do normal things with you while it's still just...just me and you."  
  
"I want that, too. All of it" she said, smiling at him again. She couldn't help it anymore. He made her smile when she was happy, when she was sad, when she was angry. He made her smile when she didn't want to. He made her smile when the dark part of her mind took over and made her think about all the bad things she'd done.  
  
"I mean, I don't even know your favorite color. I think I should know my wife's favorite color, don't you?"  
  
"I do" she said.  
  
"And? What is it?"  
  
She thought about it for a few minutes before answering.  
  
"Green"  
  
"Why green?"  
  
"It reminds me of earth. What's yours?"

He looked at her for a few minutes, thinking about his options.  
  
"Blue" he said.  
  
She blushed.  
  
"Why blue?"  
  
"Oh my god, are you blushing? Don't flatter yourself" he said, shoving her off of him and onto the loveseat.  
  
"What? No! How am I flattering myself?" she said, trying not to laugh.  
  
"You're blushing. You think blue is my favorite color because of your eyes."  
  
"No!" she laughed, "That's not what I was thinking!"  
  
"Right" he said, rolling his eyes and poking her in the stomach.  
  
She crawled back into his lap.  
  
"Okay but if it's not because of my eyes, why blue?"  
  
"It reminds me of the sea surrounding us. It's my favorite thing about this place."  
  
She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, breathing his scent in and feeling the warmth of his body.  
  
"And your eyes."  
  
She smiled even though he couldn't see it.

Eventually, they heard a knock on the door.  
  
Clarke got up to answer it. Octavia and Raven stood on the other side and told her it was time to go.  
  
She and Bellamy got ready and followed the two girls out of the castle.  
  
Miller, Monty, Jasper and Murphy waited for them outside.  
  
"This is going to be so lame" Murphy said as they hiked a little deeper into the woods. Octavia had said they would be going to a good vantage point not far from the castle.  
  
"Says the guy who had the idea to watch it from outside the castle" Miller said.  
  
They laughed and joked and picked on one another until they reached the overlook Octavia had described.  
  
They put a few blankets down on the cold ground and took out the food and wine they'd packed. They brought four extra blankets to cover up with. They would have to share.  
  
They all laughed when they realized that since the rest had coupled up; Murphy and Jasper would have to share one of their own.  
  
Clarke laid down on the ground and Bellamy followed, bringing the blanket with him so he could cover her up.  
  
They drank and talked to their friends until Octavia told them all to shut up; that it had started, that she'd seen the first one.

After that, little bits of debris flew across the sky. Little shards of light so bright in the dark night sky; making their way across it in the blink of an eye.  
  
Clarke was in awe. She'd seen meteors in space. But watching them from the ground was a whole different kind of wonderful. Up there, they were a threat. But on earth, they were entertainment.  
  
"Hey so," Octavia said, "Raven and I are going to get tattoos after this. Do you guys want to join?"  
  
"Tattoos? Tattoos of what?" Jasper asked.  
  
"We haven't decided yet" Octavia said, shrugging.  
  
"Hey" Clarke said, sitting up. "Why don't we all get one?"  
  
"Seriously?" Bellamy asked.  
  
"Yeah, why not?"  
  
"Never pegged you for the tattoo type" he said, smirking at her.  
  
"Well, like you said, there's a lot you don't know about me" she said, smirking right back.  
  
"Can you guys do your weird mom and dad flirting somewhere else? Like...when the rest of us don't have to watch?" Monty said.  
  
The rest of them laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Mom and dad?" Clarke asked.  
  
"Yeah" Miller said, nodding at her and Bellamy. "Mom and dad."  
  
She and Bellamy looked at one another.  
  
He shook his head, half smiling as he laid back down.  
  
"So what were you saying? About the tattoos?" Octavia asked.  
  
"We should all get matching ones" Clarke said, smiling at her friends.  
  
"Why?" Murphy asked.  
  
"Because" Clarke said, looking around at all of her closest friends. "We're a family."  
  
Octavia and Raven looked at each other, smiles on their faces.  
  
Clarke turned to look at Bellamy, lying beside her on his back.  
  
"What should we get?" he asked.  
  
They all looked around at one another in silence, thinking about their options.  
  
"The earth" Murphy said.  
  
"Why the earth?" Miller asked.

"Because it's what brought all of us together" Murphy said, looking around. "I mean, a few of us knew one another on the Ark but we weren't friends. We spent our whole lives looking through the windows. Looking at the earth. And coming here is what brought us together" he said, "And it brought us to you two" he added, looking at Bellamy and Octavia.  
  
Everyone was silent, thinking about what Murphy just said.  
  
It was true. If they had stayed on the Ark, then they probably wouldn't have been this close to one another. And they would have never met Octavia or Bellamy. The two who spent their lives looking up at the sky while the others look down at earth.  
  
"The earth" Monty said, nodding.  
  
"Then it's settled" Octavia said. "We're getting matching earth tattoos."  
  
After a couple of hours, they decided to head to the village to get their tattoos. Octavia claimed she knew a woman who did the best tattoos in the entire village.  
  
On the way to her hut, they discussed where they should put their matching earth tattoos.  
  
It was decided that Clarke would draw a small sketch of what they wanted so that the woman had a reference. an idea of what they wanted the tattoo to look like.  
  
Clarke thought about the best place for them to put them. But the ideas coming from some of the other's didn't really speak to her. She didn't want to put it on her foot, the back of her neck or behind her ear.

She looked at her hands. She saw the top of a scar peeking out from under her shirt sleeve. She pulled the sleeve down and looked at the ugly scars on her wrists. The scars she'd gotten while coming here.  
  
"Our wrists" she said, holding her own wrist up.  
  
Monty, Raven, Miller, Jasper and Murphy all had matching scars.  
  
Clarke saw a couple of them pulling their own shirt sleeves up, staring at the permanent reminders of their time on earth.  
  
Bellamy grabbed her hand and ran his thumb over the scars on her left wrist.  
  
"Our wrists" he said, smiling at her.

* * *

 

"Maybe now that he got it we should all just pick something else" Murphy said.  
  
They were all huddled around Bellamy and the woman who was going to do their tattoos.  
  
Clarke had shown her the drawing; a small sketch of the earth no bigger than a peach pit. It wasn't very detailed; just the shape of the earth and the outline of the land on it. Clarke was sure that the earth didn't look like that. Not anymore. But that's what it looked like before the end. That's the way the millions of people who died on it had remembered it.  
  
That's the way she wanted to remember it, too.  
  
"Very funny" Bellamy said, looking at his wrist. He was the first one to go. "It's beautiful" he added, "Thank you."  
  
The woman nodded and asked for the next person.  
  
It took a while, but one by one they all went and got their own tattoo.  
  
Clarke stared at her tattoo, now covering some of the ugly scars that reminded her of even uglier times. But now, the beautiful tattoo would be there to remind her of all the things that happened after she'd gotten those scars.  
  
When they were all finished, Clarke asked them to put their hands in a circle.  
  
It was a little childish, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to remember this moment. She planned to sketch it as soon as they got home.  
  
They each put an arm forward.

The color of their skin varied. There were freckles and scars and smooth and rough skin. But the tattoo's were the same. The same drawing on the very same spot; out in the open for all the world to see just how similar they were.  
  
"Thank you guys" Clarke said.  
  
"For what?" Raven asked.  
  
"I know..." she began, feeling a little embarrassed but unable to stop herself from finally telling her friends just how much they meant to her. "I know our time on the ground has been hard. I know that we've lost more people than we've saved. And I know that you let me be your leader. But I couldn't have done this, any of this, without you guys. So...thank you. All of you."  
  
The others looked around, smiling at one another.  
  
They were her family.  
  
They always would be.  
  
Hours later, she sat on the loveseat in her room, sketching away.  
  
She had just finished the final touches to her drawing; eight arms extended in a circle, a tattoo of the earth on each when she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Ready to go to bed?" he asked.  
  
He'd gone to bed as soon as they'd gotten home. She stayed up, drawing the picture while it was still fresh in her mind.

She placed her hand on his and leaned her head onto it.  
  
"Yeah" she said, "I'm ready."  
  
She got up and crawled into the bed, waiting for him to follow before she settled down.  
  
"I can't believe everything is over" she said.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, my life has been nothing but chaos for the past year. Centered around survival. And it finally feels like it's over. Like I can breathe again."  
  
He wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned his head on her shoulders.  
  
"What now?" he asked.  
  
"Now" she said, turning a little so she could look him in the eyes. "Now we live."

* * *

 

 

_***Eight Years Later*** _

 

  
"Be good and listen to your aunts" Bellamy said, looking down at the girl.  
  
"Oh, no! I was going to be bad and now I can't be!" the girl said.  
  
Octavia and Raven laughed from behind the girl.  
  
"Smart mouth. You definitely got that from your mother" Bellamy said, looking over at Clarke.  
  
"Don't blame me. She's been spending too much time with her aunts" Clarke said, shaking her head. She strapped the last bag onto her horse and walked towards her family.  
  
"Yes she has" Octavia said, reaching forward to grab the little girl by he shoulders. "But we'll take good care of her. So just leave already."  
  
"Don't worry. I'll make sure they stay out of trouble" Raven said from beside Octavia.  
  
"Thank you" Clarke said, placing a kiss on Raven's cheek.  
  
She gave Octavia a little hug before dropping to her knee's to look at her daughter.  
  
"Listen to your father and be good for us, okay? We'll be back in a few days" she said, pushing the long blonde hair from her daughter's eyes.  
  
"Okay" she said, wrapping her skinny arms around Clarke's neck.  
  
"I love you" Clarke said, hugging her daughter a little tighter than usual.

"I love you too" she said.  
  
She let go of Clarke and ran towards her father.  
  
He picked her up and she laid her head on his shoulder.  
  
Clarke watched the two of them.  
  
They had all said that Aurora looked like Clarke when she was born. Blonde hair, dimple chin and chubby cheeks. But now at five years old, Clarke could see that she resembled her father just as much as she did her mother. Her dark brown eyes and the freckles on her face matched her fathers.  
  
Bellamy placed a kiss on her forehead before putting her back on the ground. She ran back to where Octavia and Raven were standing, putting a hand in each of theirs. Clarke could see the tattoo's on their wrists; the same one she had on hers.  
  
They said their goodbyes before getting on their horses and making their way to the cottage they had visited every year on their anniversary.  
  
They were going a few days earlier than usual this year. They had been in Camp Jaha, celebrating the autumn solstice when a drunk Kane exclaimed to a slightly-drunk Abby that it wasn't fair; everyone else had gotten married. Why shouldn't they make it official? To his surprise, she said that they could.  
  
The two would be getting married in less than a week, so Clarke asked Bellamy if they could go a few days early this year.

Camp Jaha had been built; the Sky People had their own settlement. In the eight years that had passed, the war between the Sky People and the grounders had become a distant memory. Something to learn from.  
  
But now Camp Jaha was a full fledged society; a home to the people from the sky and from the ground alike.  
  
It had taken years, but eventually they learned to live in peace. Aurora wasn't the first child born to a parent from the sky and a parent from the ground. Clarke was sure that she wouldn't be the last, either.  
  
They reached the cottage after a few hours.  
  
They had brought Aurora with them the first four years of her life. She didn't like it when they left her alone for too long and they didn't like having to leave her behind. Every couple of months, they had to leave to visit the other villages in their kingdom. At first, it was only Bellamy who went.  
  
Eventually, they began going together. They were the king and queen, after all. After they had Aurora, they began to switch off.  
  
As much as they loved their daughter; Clarke could tell that Bellamy was just excited as she was to finally get some alone time with one another.  
  
At home, there were always things to do. Disputes to settle. A child to take care of. Cuts to clean and lessons to be taught.  
  
Clarke watched Bellamy unpack their things. He put her sketchbook on the table and she stood up to grab it.

Sketching was another thing she didn't get to do as much as she wanted.  
  
But she knew that there would be time for it, eventually. Aurora would grow up. And even if they had more children, which they both wanted to do, they would grow up too. Aurora was still very young, still very attached to her parents. But she would grow up and begin to live her own life.  
  
She picked her sketchbook up and laid down on the bed to look through it. She had gotten others, once she realized that the pages in her first one began to dwindle. She had started drawing in the other ones she'd gotten or received as presents; but this one was her very favorite.  
  
She sifted through it, looking at the first few drawings she'd done on earth.  
  
"Remember this" she asked, lifting the book to show it to Bellamy. He was standing on the other side of the room, starting a small fire.  
  
It was the sketch she'd done only hours after she and her group of friends had gotten their matching tattoos.  
  
"How could I forget" he said, raising his arm.  
  
"You know, you're just as much of a smartass today as you were when we first met" she said, raising an eyebrow. "I guess some things never change, huh?"  
  
"No" he said, getting up to join her in bed. "They don't."  
  
He ran a hand down her long blonde hair, grabbing the end and giving her braid a little tug.

"Asshole" she said, leaning over to plant a kiss on his lips.  
  
"Like you said...some things never change" he said. She could feel the smile on his lips.  
  
"I almost forgot!" she yelled, pulling away from him.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked. He reached out to grab her, to pull her back in bed but she moved out the way. "This better be good."  
  
"You tell me" she said, a mischievous smile on her face as she searched through her backpack. "Turn around."  
  
He sighed and turned until his back was to her.  
  
She put on the light blue nightgown she'd gotten a few days before their trip. It was his favorite color.  
  
"Okay, you can look" she said.  
  
She got the reaction she'd been hoping for.  
  
"Alright" he said, kissing down her neck. "This is good."  
  
In the eight years they'd been married, her love for him had only grown.  
  
There were still days when they would argue. Hurt one another with their words. But even on those days, they went to bed together. No matter how upset she was, she would lay down beside him. And no matter how angry he was, he would put an arm around her waist and hold her close; reminding her that she was safe. That she was loved.

It was easy, being with him.  
  
He was the friend she needed. The partner she'd always wanted. A good father to their child. A good king to his people.  
  
He made her laugh when she didn't want to. He took care of her when she was sick and while she was pregnant. He held her hand while she gave birth to their daughter.  
  
She cried when she found out that she was pregnant. The people around her assumed they were tears of joy, of happiness.  
  
And for the most part, they were.  
  
But Bellamy knew. He knew that the tears were laced with fear, with sadness.  
  
"What if I can't do it?" she had asked. _What if I can't be a good mother? What if something bad happens again?_  
  
"All we can do is try our best" he had said. "Love her and try our best."  
  
He had known it would be a girl. She didn't know how, but he knew.  
  
It was her idea to name their daughter Aurora. She knew how much it would mean to him. He didn't talk about his mother much. But there were a few nights, a few rare nights where Clarke would wake up in the middle of the night all alone. She'd see him sitting at his desk or on the loveseat across the fire with her sketchbook in his hands. She never asked, but she knew what drawing he was looking at.

It scared her, being a new mother. And there were days when she would feel the frustration making her eyes burn, upset that she had to ask Bellamy how to do something she thought she should be able to do herself.  
  
He was patient, reminding her that he had a lot more experience than she did. Telling her it was okay to feel upset, to feel angry while he showed her how to properly burp a baby or the right way to swaddle it.  
  
And somehow, together, they made it work.  
  
He gave her space when she needed it and kept Aurora busy when she wanted some time alone. He remembered her birthday every year after she told him. He brought her flowers on rainy days and whispered inappropriate things to her while they were in public, making her blush and yearn for his touch in the middle of a crowded room.  
  
And whenever she had a nightmare or a particularly bad day where she couldn't stop thinking about all the bad things she'd done in her life, he would be there. Sometimes he wouldn't even say anything. Sometimes he'd just hold her hand or her body while she cried.  
  
But that was all she needed to tame the demons that came from the darkest parts of her mind; his presence.  
  
She knew that he had those days, too. But he had become accustomed to taking care of others. He rarely wallowed in his own misery. He rarely talked about the things that he had done, things she knew would stay with him forever. He thought too much about her, about Aurora or Octavia or any one of the countless people he cared for to fall into the pit of despair that Clarke occasionally found herself in.

But she knew he had them, just like she did, no matter how many times he told her that he was okay. On the days where his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, she made sure remind him that he was good, that he was loved. She'd go out of her way to surprise him with a new book or a personal painting. She'd plan dates and take him away from the others to spend a few hours alone. They'd go on picnics, or go swimming or just spend a few hours in their quarters, wrapped around one another.  
  
And then the smile on his face would reach his eyes and she'd feel warmth rush through her.  
  
He made her happy to be alive. She wanted to give him that, too.  
  
Afterwards, she opened the sketchbook back up and looked at the first page.  
  
"Remember this?" she asked, showing him the drawing.  
  
It was the first drawing she had done on the ground. It was the one of his hands holding a package. The first sketchbook he'd given her. The first present.  
  
"Yeah" he said, lazily running a hand down her back. "I remember."  
  
"When did you fall in love with me?" she asked.  
  
"I don't really know. It kind of just happened. One day I woke up and..." he said, looking up at the ceiling.  
  
"Yeah. I guess you kind of snuck up on me too" she said, smiling at him. "But I think it all started here" she added, pointing to the book.

"With me getting you a present?" he said, turning to look at her. "I never knew you were so materialistic."  
  
"Shut up" she said, rolling her eyes and closing the book.  
  
He laughed as she settled down next to him. He put an arm around her waist and she placed her hand on top of his.  
  
"It wasn't because of the present" she said.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"It was just..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It was the first time in long time that anyone had done something nice for me" she said. "In a weird way, I guess it gave me hope."  
  
And she knew that it all began and ended with that, with hope. Since they'd met and all the years since, he'd given her hope. He'd given her the desire to go on. He was the promise that life could be good. He was her reminder that in the end, things would be okay. That she would be okay.  
  
He held her a little tighter, placing a kiss on the top of her head.  
  
She could feel her eyes getting heavy. They would have the next three days to spend alone time with one another. As excited as she was, she knew that they were both tired.

Tomorrow, they could swim and joke and have sex and laugh. Now, she knew they both just wanted to sleep.  
  
"Will you miss me?" she mumbled, thinking about the fact that after their trip and the wedding she would have to leave and visit the other villages. It was her turn to go.  
  
"Of course" he said.  
  
"Will you dream of me?" she asked. Whenever he left, she dreamt of him. And some nights, even if he was with her, he visited her in her dreams.  
  
Bellamy thought about it. He'd been dreaming of her since the first night she arrived, broken soul and all. Sometimes it would be all of her, all of her fiery presence. And sometimes it'd just be a blue eye here, a long strand of long blonde hair there. Her small hands, dirty with charcoal or holding a pair of medical scissors.  
  
"I will" he said, "I dream of you all the time."  
  
"Really?" she asked, turning to face him.  
  
The fire had dwindled, they were in almost complete darkness by that point. But he could still see her looking at him through those sleepy, piercing blue eyes. Eyes that reminded him of the sea.  
  
Sometimes calm. Sometimes deadly. But always beautiful. And always there.  
  
"Yes" he said, " **In my dreams, we are always together.** "

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!!!
> 
> Thank you guys for sticking with this story, for providing me with awesome and inspiring feedback every single chapter. I was taken by surprise with the positive reaction to this little fic of mine. Thanks for sticking through the angst and the cliffhangers. I really hope that this final chapter gave all of you the closure the story needed.
> 
> I honestly can't say thank you enough, because some of you have just been complete angels. I will be starting my new fic, (Don't Look Back, You're Not Going That Way) which you can find under my works if you are interested.
> 
> It's been a trip! Thanks for reading.
> 
> May we meet again! :)


End file.
